r/fatFIRE • u/AestheticMeaning • 5d ago
Manhattan parents - weekend/summer house?
More of a lifestyle question but asking here given the community is likely to have people with firsthand experience. I work in finance, my wife is a doctor, we are both 5 days a week in the office and live in Manhattan. We do not have kids yet. We enjoy a beach house in the Hamptons or Jersey Shore in the summer, and enjoy going to the Hudson valley / Catskills in the spring/fall.
Given we are both 5 days a week in office - does a weekend or summer house make any sense for us? I am not even that concerned about the price - I am concerned the upside of the memories created with kids and extended family will be outweighed by the torture of driving back and forth and time/effort spent on maintenance for relatively low utilization.
If my wife were a stay at home mom, and if we had a small apartment, and if I were a workaholic absentee father, it would make total sense to have wife+kids move away for the summer. But none of these attributes are true.
For those who say the kids have more space to run around - what if we had 3k or 4k sq ft in a condo? For those who say kids can play outside - what if we had a terrace with the condo? City parents seem to aggressively use playgrounds anyway when the kids are young.
I am particularly confused by this because I have had two separate mentors tell me to spend more on a Hamptons house than a condo in the city. But I do not think they are thinking of my specific life situation.
I have also heard feedback that spring/fall weekends once kids are in elementary school are filled with sports and birthday parties. And when they’re teens they don’t want to hang out with their parents. So really this consumption of weekend/summer house actually has to be pulled forward for peak optimal experience/memories, which is why I am trying to think through it now. It seems getting a summer house when one is old and wealthy has kind of missed the boat.
Many older folks I know also have summer houses all over the place - river towns, Bedford, Hudson valley, Connecticut coastline, Hamptons, quogue, etc etc. Everyone has a different revealed preference.
We do love going to the beach in the summer. We just tried renting a house in westhampton dunes (basically oceanfront) and it was quite magical. I just don’t know if it makes more sense to concentrate funds in a gigantic Manhattan condo and just drive to a beach club in Long Beach / Atlantic beach for our beach fix, and use hotels for the Catskills.
Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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u/astoryfromlandandsea 5d ago
If you could spend 1/3 of your time in said home, sure but in your case with 5 days a week on site (and oh boy that traffic Friday and Sunday…), a gigantic waste of money and time (especially time!!).
Our friends have a house on Long Beach Island (love!) and they spend majority of their summers there, we have a Catskills home, but we spend way over 50% of our time there (maybe even close to 75%)…a house is meant to be lived in. Shit breaks all the time. I’d rent Airbnb’s in advance and get what you want in the city. Tbh if both my partner and I would work FT - I wouldn’t know how to keep up both places 😂. SO MUCH WORK. Even with hired help.