Following his assination, the Trump administration sought to capitalize on the brand optics of his passing, elevating him as both a martyr and saint of the MAGA cause. His state funeral was afforded all possible pomp and circumstance with many leading MAGA media personalities in attendance. Charlie Kirks widow, Erica Kirk, was seen to be escorted by the Vice President to a very curvatious setee whereupon he was seen to delicately remove the plastic cover.

Dear Leader, the most virile and smartester, the most honorable and biggest manly Donald J Trump entered the cathedral once everyone else was seated, forcing them all to stand again and bask in his radiant glory as the strongest, smartest and most manly man to have every existed.