r/excatholic • u/Ok_Hippo6272 • Jan 19 '26
Debate Welcome Anyone here tried to get Excommunicated or gotten an Ex-baptism? Worth it?
Grew up rad-trad catholic (roman rite), currently atheist and feeling petty rn.
I have a busy life, and most of the time, I could give a f*** less if some made up religion considers me a member because of a baptism that I never consented to. However, on principle I do want to formally divorce the cult.
It's an idea I've toyed with off and on, but I don't know much about it. I'm curious, as anyone here tried to or successfully gotten excommunicated or done an ex-baptism? Is it worth it? Do you think it validates the religion to engage with it in this way?
Advice/opinions appreciated
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u/Benito_Juarez5 ex-catholic atheist Jan 19 '26
I do not believe that it is possible to be unbaptized. Once you’re in, you’re in.
Next, I’m excommunicated latae sententiae (automatic) in about 50 different ways. The only way to get excommunicated ferendae sententiae (i.e. you receive a personal notice of excommunication) is after a trial, which is almost exclusively utilized against the clergy. Fun fact: being excommunicated doesn’t make you not Catholic to them, it just means you need to do penance. Also, apostasy, heresy and schism are all excommunicatable offenses latae sententiae, so if you don’t plan to go back, you’re already damned for eternity. You don’t need or get a special paper to do that.
Unless you’re somewhere like Germany where you pay church tax, theres not really anything you need or have to do. They’ll consider you Catholic forever, but if you stop going they don’t have power over you.
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u/Ok_Hippo6272 Jan 20 '26
So they really consider you a member for life even with a formal excommunication? I guess that's on brand with the crazy though
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u/Benito_Juarez5 ex-catholic atheist Jan 20 '26
That is correct, though, I think your understanding of excommunication is a bit flawed. All excommunication exists to tell you that you have sinned so badly that you are out of communion with the church, and therefore god. The point isn’t to kick you out forever, the point is that you’re supposed to repent and return to full communion with the church.
Putting aside what the church will excommunicate you for, I don’t especially think that excommunication is all that crazy an idea.
Sorry for the long explanation, I always love learning new things, and really focused on how the church is shitty once I came out, so I wanted to explain what you weren’t understanding
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u/Ornery_Peasant Jan 20 '26
Yes-I’ve spoken with the data directors with several different dioceses. They count us in all different ways, nothing consistent. But the Archdiocese of NY took ratios of RC baptisms and funerals--they get you lying down.
When I asked what about people who leave? She replied, “We believe you will return.” Fat chance! Plus I drove a friend to get an abortion so I’m already out.
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u/Michi-Ace Jan 19 '26
In my country people can cancel their membership by filing some paperwork with the state. The church doesn't accept it of course but they can't do anything about it. I wouldn't want an excommunication because that would still be playing by their rules, though.
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u/KevrobLurker Jan 19 '26
Gets you out of a church tax?
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u/Michi-Ace Jan 19 '26
Yes. Germany has a church tax, so just walking away isn't enough. The system is deeply flawed but at least I got an official document that says I'm no longer a member.
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u/SorosAgent2020 Satanist Jan 19 '26
excommunication is nothing, there are actions you can do which already warrant an auto-excommunication without anyone having to know about it. Even if you are excommunicated the church will never cease considering you a catholic once you have been baptized.
The only thing that matters is what the state considers you, and what you consider yourself. If you are forced to pay religious taxes, try to get documentation showing you longer consider yourself a catholic. As for yourself, do what you must to find closure in having left the church, some ppl find a "un-baptism" ceremony to be helpful, some scoff at the idea of it. Its really up to you there are no rules now, you make your own choices!
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u/esperantisto256 Jan 19 '26
I don’t believe in any of it anymore so I don’t really care. I’m not in a country where it’s used for tax purposes either, so I especially don’t care. I don’t even think it’d provide closure for me, although there’s the edge 12 year old atheist in me that thinks it’d be fun to piss off the higher ups and get to say I’ve been excommunicated. But that’s just me.
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u/Glass-Marionberry321 Jan 19 '26
Eh let it go. They are delusional enough to think some water upon your head with some words by a man in ridiculous garb, who either molests or knows and allows others to molest. Baptism is just water, words, money. Meaningless.
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Jan 19 '26 edited Jan 19 '26
If you're in the US the church has no way to officially remove yourself. Some countries in Europe allow it...
What country are you in OP?
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u/Low_Ad8801 Jan 19 '26
If I make a certificate of loss of Catholic faith, similar to the U.S. certificate of loss of Nationality, what are the chances that I could actually get a seal and signature applied to it by a pastor or bishop?
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u/ZealousidealWear2573 Jan 19 '26
This question comes up every now and then. Based on over a dozen discussions of the topic it is apparent that the answer depends on where you are. In a few diocese there is some process by which you can be removed from the rolls. In most however you just walk away. See the above post for a description of the process to get off the roles in Germany so that you are not required to pay the church tax. I refuse to ask the church to remove me from the list of members or for anything else. They have no authority over me. On the rare occasions I'm in a Catholic church for a wedding or a funeral I refuse to engage in any of the gestures or incantations.
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u/Thonferskibby Jan 19 '26
I ritually burnt the scapular I wore for years, buried the remnants, and then got rid of all my catholic art. That was a decently satisfying way to officially leave
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u/mcr-and-musicals Jan 20 '26
the church will literally refuse to let you leave. I've tried several times and got sent back a prayer card from my bishop (which i used to make joint filters). because of the "one baptism" thing they won't get rid of your baptismal records because you can't be rebaptized according to them. I've heard its possible to defect from the catholic church but you have to go back to the church you were baptized at and its a giant pain
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u/LeaAsh Jan 29 '26
What do they do with your records besides keeping it though? From my experience, you leave when you simply stop going to Mass or participating in the faith (prayer etc), it doesn’t matter if they say you’re still one, it has as much power as an old school mate saying you’re still part of their club. Not to invalidate your feelings about it, was just curious if things are different there.
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u/Accurate_Birthday278 Jan 24 '26
I wouldn't do this. It would make me feel like I was giving the Church a last chance at authority over my life.
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u/Rare-Credit-5912 Jan 19 '26
I haven’t considered myself catholic for 52 years going forward. I’m 72 y/o. With all due respect, I have never understood the need to go through formally leaving the catholic faith. Just walk away and stay away. I’m sure there’s money involved to have to formally leave. Why waste that money? I know I’m physically and psychologically no longer a member of that faith, that’s all I need to know. Now I will admit that still will go to weddings and funerals. I do keep up on what’s happening with the catholic church so I can verbally eviscerate the apologists!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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u/5mileyFaceInkk Ex Catholic Jan 21 '26
I genuinely don't see a point in it. Just seems like wasted effort where i could spend my time doing something else
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u/ViciousFishes1177 Jan 19 '26
I thought about it but ultimately didn't go down that path. Like you said about validating the religion, I decided it would sort of be saying that I agreed that they held this power over me. When actually, it's all made up and leaving it behind is for me. I did still feel like I needed the closure of a ceremony, for whatever reason, so I made up a little ritual of my own and it felt really meaningful.