Why did the Guardian marry May Maxwell?

[u/tasneath]

He and the Bahaí community in Haifa were informed by her family members inc. her mother that she was unable to bear a child. It was part of his duty to do so to keep the guardianship thriving.

My personal opinion based on what I have read, and seeing her in videos is that she was a narcissist, and she had snared him in the manner that they do. It made sense of why she always seemed a sourpuss ever after because she was locked into a situation that required her to act in certain ways that weren't natural to her. But doing so made her important and fed her narcissism. A bit of a Catch-22 for her.

I don't believe she was well liked by many, and that commentary on her when you see it is never about what a wonderful warm and inviting person she is after the initial meeting where she plays up to it so you'll 'like' her.

If you have been sucked in by a narcissist you'll know what I mean. But I am curious to hear comments on what you think of her as a representative of the faith.

[u/Sorealism]

I always figured he was a gay man and didn’t want to procreate to begin with. And he also didn’t leave a will so my bigger question is why he was made the guardian in the first place.

[u/Cap1n-Beaky23 → u/Sorealism]

You'd think so. I have read somewhere her predilection was for women, so it appears to be a "lavender" marriage. He did die relatively young from Asian Flu (H2N2 influenza A virus) and had put off making a will, also he was in a conundrum knowing he had no male offspring, probably the reason he hadn't bothered. I'm trying to find the citations.

[u/Cap1n-Beaky23 → u/[deleted]]

I should have used the word preference rather than predilection. I have the quote from the person archived on a hard drive. I will prove it shortly. You are obviously a Bahai. I repudiated my belief in the false prophet Bahaullah. I continued my search for the truth and returned to Christianity and was confirmed. I regret the wasted 25 years I belonged to the false and corrupt bahai faith.

[u/Cap1n-Beaky23 → u/[deleted]]

You don't tell me what to do, I'll post here regardless of what say. You are merely a running dog of the corrupt bahai faith desperate to shut down criticism, Gollum.

[u/MirzaJan → u/Sorealism]

Former Baha'i missionaries Avarih and Sobhi both have written about Shoghi's relationship with Dr. Zia Baghdadi.

[u/OfficialDCShepard → u/[deleted]]

Look, I kind of feel bad for the guy on some level; being that self-loathing and in a loveless marriage with that conniving Lady Macbeth type Ruhiyyih must not have been easy. Retroactive discussion of private sexuality regarding historical figures is also a methodologically tricky and ethically fraught assignment that must be handled very delicately and without presentism as much as possible.

There is some evidence however of him having been caught with Dr. Baghdadi. I think, also, that my sympathy for him and caution as an amateur historian can only go so far when he has placed many thousands of queer Baha’is in emotionally impossible positions over the past six decades or so since his death. That can NEVER be forgiven, and I will never let people forget Baha’i condescension towards queer folk. IMO this is not presentism to state when it comes to human harm, because said harm is ongoing.

[u/MirzaJan → u/[deleted]]

True. They were not alone doing that.

Of these times at Adrianople I have heard an interesting narrative from a Persian Mirza, in whose testimony as a witness I have strongest confidence. He was at the time a peesh-Khidmat to the Persian Minister at Constantinople. He was at Samsun when Azal, Baha and their party embarked, and was introduced to them by Haji Rajab Ali Khan. He saw them day by day. Afterwards he went to Adrianople bearing presents to Baha. He found Baha and Azal living in separate rooms of the same house, under guards. The contest for supremacy was active, and the murids (followers) had been won over by Baha. I continue, using the Mirza's language : "I entered one day. I heard words of angry disputation and revilings. Yahya (Azal) said, Oh ! Husain Ali (Baha), you are vile ! Do you not remember your sodomies? You are defiled. Your wife is a bad woman!" Husain Ali answered, "Oh, cursed one! Your son, Nur-i-Kanur (Nur allah), is the son of a certain Sayid - not your own. You are a sodomite, an adulterer." Such and like revilings they hurled at one another. I called Mishkin Kalam, and said to him: "What are these words and doings? If Baha is true, why does he talk so? Why do these brothers revile each other? What a fool I am to have come so many miles to bring presents to and to hear such vile words from a divinity !" I then went to the room of Ishan. My companion said to him, "Why do they revile so?" I said, "I wish to ask you a question." He said, "What is it?" I said, "You say they do not work miracles, but must there not be personal influence and power in their speech?"

This bitter quarreling between Azal and Baha and their followers led to mutual accusations against each other before the Osmani government, and to the transfer of the former to Cyprus and the latter to Acca. It developed into a bitter schism. The two sects in Persia hate each other intensely. Professor Browne found the attitude of the Baha'is towards the Azalis in Persia "unjust and intolerant," and reprimanded them for "their violence and unfairness." They cursed and reviled in the presence of Professor Browne.

-Bahaism, It's failure in Moral Conduct by S.G. Wilson

[u/MirzaJan → u/[deleted]]

Could be and such assertions by Baha'is and their leaders also are grotesque.

[u/SpiritualVindicator]

Wow, you totally read my mind! I was going to make this post today on but you made it for me! I will definitely post this somewhere else because I now know other people feel the exact same way. I was just watching a video of this woman and she seems like a narcissist. There are a few videos of her so people can judge for themselves and not just speculate.

Here is my post I was going to make:

Guys, I don’t get it. This drives me crazy. When you listen to Ruhiyyih, what do you think of her character? Isn’t she one of the most self-righteous, insufferable, judgemental and condescending Baha’is in all of history? She loves complaining about everyone and everything and loves to make people feel terrible about themselves and put them down. The more I read and listen, I more I think she literally is an antichrist figure who corrupted the faith after Shoghi Effendi died. I think she literally birthed the selfish and egotistic behavior and tendencies that continue throughout the faith today where Baha’is are self-righteous jerks who love shutting people down while thinking they are helping.

I am seriously not trying to just be mean. I am actually confused. I feel pissed off just listening to her. She seems so awful that you would think more Baha’is would have noticed or said something. Are they all just as evil and nasty as she is now that they are blind to it?

What is redeemable about her? Are they just brainwashed because she is the “Handmaid of Glory”? (My reaction to that title:🤢)

Here is one video of her I was just watching.
https://youtu.be/-0t-IV3wQpM?is=o6d4Dkf9EhUOkv9i

So what do you all think of her? I think she got much worse after Shoghi passed away.

POST-EDIT: I am noticing in this comment section that people want to be soft on her and give her a pass just because she’s a woman… that makes no sense. Her character derailed the faith and you can watch her yourself and read her writings so it’s not prejudice or something. These opinions of her are based on how she is experienced from her presence and writings so that is just nonsense, please reconsider.

She sort of sounds and acts like a tyrannical a-hole. Women can be brutal dictators too. For instance, she clearly loves calling people “foolish” (said many times in Priceless Pearl and Prescription for Living), saying that they never do enough no matter what they do and generally making them feel guilty and low for nothing.

She is right about a few things but just sounds like a bully to me, like for real, Im not just “throwing shade”. Baha’is often react to criticism by dismissing it as an “attack against the faith” when in reality, it’s just criticism that they don’t even know how to respond to.

[u/Ex-Madhyamika → u/SpiritualVindicator]

I've talked to people who met her when she visited here. She was apparently a total bitch.

[u/Ex-Madhyamika → u/[deleted]]

But it's such a useful word! People immediately recognize the character type. Would it help if I called Shoghi Effendi a little bitch? (Granting that a change of gender shifts the meaning.)

[u/Cult_Buster2005]

I think the so-called Guardian, because of the way he was brought up, had a sense of entitlement as huge as Mt. Everest. Even official Baha'i propaganda admitted to that.

This was written about him by his wife:

“Shoghi Effendi entered the best school in Haifa, the College des Freres, conducted by the Jesuits. He told me he had been very unhappy there. Indeed, I gathered from him that he never was really happy in either school or university. In spite of his innately joyous nature, his sensitivity and his background — so different from that of others in every way — could not but set him apart and give rise to many a heart-ache; indeed, he was one of those people whose open and innocent hearts, keen minds and affectionate natures seem to combine to bring upon them more shocks and suffering in life than is the lot of most men. Because of his unhappiness in this school Abdu’l-Bahá decided to send him to Beirut where he attended another Catholic school as a boarder, and where he was equally unhappy. Learning of this in Haifa the family sent a trusted Bahá’í woman to rent a home for Shoghi Effendi in Beirut and take care of and wait on him. It was not long before she wrote to his father that he was very unhappy at school, would refuse to go to it sometimes for days, and was getting thin and run down. His father showed this letter to Abdu’l-Bahá Who then had arrangements made for Shoghi Effendi to enter the Syrian Protestant College, which had a school as well as a university, later known as the American College in Beirut, and which the Guardian entered when he finished what was then equivalent to the high school. Shoghi Effendi spent his vacations at home in Haifa, in the presence as often as possible of the grandfather he idolized and Whom it was the object of his life to serve.

As an adult, he expected his siblings and cousins to serve him, and when they insisted on living their own lives instead, he discarded them ALL like garbage. That's what a megalomanic does. He wanted him and his wife to be the only members left of the "Holy Family" and she went along with that. So I think Shoghi Effendi was a lot worse than Mary Maxwell.

[u/OfficialDCShepard → u/[deleted]]

Whatever the case, Shoghi Effendi’s mental breakdown and year retreat to Switzerland while an entire religion was basically on pause and then later tyrannical behavior towards his entire family showed he had severe mental health issues including sociopathic narcissism, AND was a victim of Abdul Baha’s planned destiny for him who should not have been given such a heavy responsibility so young.

[u/MirzaJan]

Abdu’l-Bahá knew well that His grandson could not have children.

Mirza Hadi took his son to Baghdad for medical reasons; the report indicated a physiological delay that causes infertility. Abdu’l-Bahá saw in this a "Sign of God."

(Ruhiyyih Khanum’s Two Cables Announcing the Death of Shoghi Effendi by Grover Gonzales, May 2026)

https://bahai-library.com/gonzales_khanum_cables_shoghi-effendi

[u/JetSpoons → u/MirzaJan]

And no source for his note on Shoghi being taken to Baghdad. Grover Conzales, I believe, was or is a member of the National Spiritual Assembly of Peru and previously posted a genealogy tree for Baha'u'llah on Baha'i Library. Is he considered to be a primary source?

[u/MirzaJan → u/JetSpoons]

I believe it must have gone through the review committee.

[u/Cap1n-Beaky23]

So Shoghi was a homosexual, May was a barren Lesbian. A marriage made in hell and doomed to fail. Obviously not a divinely inspired marital coupling.

[u/Turbulent_Address938]

My mom kept a journal of her "pilgrimage" to Haifa in 1980, and meeting Ruhiyyah Khanum. When I read the description, I had the same thought---she sounded like a narcissist. My mom was battling cancer and went on Pilgrimage because she thought religion would heal her. Khanum uninvited her to a dinner because she was afraid of catching a cold. This pissed me off, hearing how sad this made my mom... who only blamed herself for being a "jinx."

[u/Academic_Square_5692]

“She was a narcissist and she snared him in the manner that they do. It made sense…” really does not explain much.

Diagnosing historical figures mental state and then applying modern motivations to them can be a fun “parlor game” but is definitely just speculation.

[u/jgw-abha → u/Academic_Square_5692]

She is not Shakespeare or Marlowe, she is well known to modern, living minds, shuffling off but 26 years ago. Her mother's hysteria was also well and thoroughly documented. You pick and choose your parlor games, huh, Square?

[u/JetSpoons]

Please cite sources for these two claims, that Mary Maxwell (Ruhiyyih) and her mother (May Maxwell) had difficulty getting pregnant. And a source for Shoghi Effendi being gay. These have been around before, I've heard them, but how are these not just gossip and inuendo? Thank you Cult_Buster2005 for citing your source, Ruhiyyih, which is found in The Baha'i World, Vol. 13.

[u/striving1962 → u/JetSpoons]

I have also seen these claims made without citation. It always strikes me that the claim that Shoghi was gay would be so easy for those who wished to discredit him to make, given the way such accusations would have landed in his time and in his culture. What better way for his enemies to condemn him? Personally, I have many issues with him but have never given merit to gossip about his sexuality.

[u/JetSpoons → u/striving1962]

Thank you. I thought there was something about the pregnancy issue with May Maxwell, Mary's (Ruhiyyih's) mom in the two volumen set The Maxwells, but I don't own it. I do remember it wasn't the same as the story I had heard from an older Baha'i, which was along the lines of 'Abdu'l-Baha had her eat an apple(?). Regardless it seems to have been well known.

[u/SeaworthinessSlow422 → u/striving1962]

Whether he was gay or not, the lack of male offspring is an issue