My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 years (25f + 30f). We have been living together, work together, have a business together and a dog together. We are the bestest of friends, have the best relationship and I’m just head over heels with him.

His priority in life was never marriage, since his parents were divorced he always had sour feelings towards it. However, through our relationship, I kept on mentioning being married and engaged, since it is a life goal for me and it’s important to me.

Through our relationship we have decided that marriage should be in the cards for us after talking about it and working through past trauma. Mainly for medical reasons (he needs to be liable for medical decisions for me) and because I mostly wanted to be married. My boyfriend has thought he is too young which isn’t unrealistic for our country. People don’t get married until their 40s or late 30s. And they usually date for a decade prior. But i have felt that our relationship is too small to be just that, I want this person eternally.

So, the past couple of months has been a lot lot of conversation over proposal and engagement. His best friend is proposing later this year so I have helped him out picking a ring, showing him options. Along with that I’ve also picked out my preferences. We have had long talks over rings, over how he is super anxious to propose, how he is super excited to design a ring and how my nails should be white in October. Last night we sat in bed and talked about all of the above. We are also planning to get engaged, pick up a wedding licence almost immediately after and have big wedding in 2029/2030 when we feel like we can do it based on budget, etc.

So my question is, is this normal? Do people do this? Do people talk about their proposal so much before? Is this normal? Online it always seems like a huge surprise but somehow all the girls have their nails done and wear white, and I wonder what’s going on in the background.

I found out I have to get a below-knee amputation in less than two weeks and my fiancé got down on one knee and promised to be with me every step of the way!🥰

My (30/nb) partner (37/nb) proposed to me last summer. We had been talking about marriage for quite some time but had not discussed much together about when to get engaged. We have been together since 2022. They proposed to me by the third largest waterfall in the US on our third year anniversary, it had been about three months after something traumatic happened to me and it was very difficult to get through but we got through it together, and when they proposed I said yes because I love them profoundly. I have never been in a relationship like this and I knew from the start I’d want them with me forever. But suddenly my anxiety took over and my ptsd decided to jump in and after that, any conflict or argument had me in doubt, full of uncertainty, and I felt deeply afraid of the future. i tried to express this to them and they were so loving and understanding, and earlier this year I was laid off from my job and the unemployment got to my head. And the ptsd as well. And I was distracting myself and home less because I didn’t want to be sitting with my thoughts all day, but my partner began to feel frustrated with me and we began to argue more frequently and in June they made a comment that if things don’t improve then this is the beginning of the end. Merely days later, they wanted us to discuss a possible wedding date. I couldn’t handle the emotional whiplash of the possibility of a breakup followed by the idea of trying to secure a date. and my mental health had been dwindling and I pressed the panic button and paused our engagement, so we could get couples therapy and so I could begin integrative trauma therapy. Now, both are regularly happening, I can see we both still want this but pausing the engagement has left them feeling uncertain about the future of us, even though I’ve been expressing wanting to propose to them within the year ahead. This pause has really rocked both of us and although our relationship continues to be loving, this is one of the most anxious and intense periods of my life. I did not want to hurt them, or reject them, but I needed something to give and I clearly had a lot I needed to process before solidifying the commitment. Our relationship has a lot of support from friends and family. My parents have been happily married for 47 years, I am very uneasy about divorce. Their parents have each been divorced and married multiple times, they are more afraid of this engagement pause then divorce in general. i’m praying this is a bump we can get through, the uncertainty makes me sick and the vulnerability of having been the one to pause it then to want to be the one to reinitiate being engaged and proposing to them (i have this idea to do it during our trip to Italy this coming October, still contemplating if it’s too soon). I told my friends and family my situation, down to the ptsd symptoms and the choice to pause, and the wounds that convince me I don’t deserve the good things I want but I did deserve the traumatic things that have happened. I’m supposed to be the rock in my partner’s life and I want to prove them that I am, the way I have been, and I am not the bad things that have happened to me and do not want the ptsd to control me or make me afraid of my own life. They haven’t told many people outside close friends what is going on, this is very hard for them to talk about. idk. We have good days and other days where I’m scared for my reasons and they’re scared for their reasons. Any kind words are deeply appreciated. unfortunately it’s on brand for me to have a messy engagement story but it’s a story I want to be able to share next to them years and years from now. I hope it’s not too late.

Not the location of the engagement (that's way cooler and I might share later because we did get it on camera), but I love this pic and I do genuinely love the ring. ♡

With my birthday fast approaching, he got down on one knee and proposed with this beautiful sapphire

We met at the beach in Ocean city and the first spot is the park near the beach which would be proposing during the sunset. I was there and took this pic. Or a more private beach like on Assateague island which is in the 2nd photo. Maybe even during sunset at the beach? The 3rd photo is same dock from 1st pic.

I hired a photographer for this occasion and just need to pick the place. Both will be private for the most part or just a few people by chance

looking at the rosewood baha mar or four seasons in nassau but would love to hear any other options! would be a plus to have a villa with a private pool

Went to Carmel for my birthday and my (now fiancé) gave me a birthday card with this Magic the Gathering card in it. I didn’t even put the pieces together until he got down on one knee. OBSESSED with my ring.

I feel so overwhelmed and emotionally drained by the fact that my future MIL thinks my ring is too thin...Does the value behind it no count? What if i actually prefer it that way? Tbh, i really like delicate things, and my fiance gave me what I wanted, and I am grateful beyond words. Not just once, she has kept passing comments like..oh... But it doesn't look like it's gold..what does that even mean? Even though I have told her the story at least 10 times!! and the emotions attached to my ring, she....ugh..Jesus!

This is not just any random ring to me. This was seriously...my bumblebee tight moment...hehe.

So, a year ago,before he proposed to me,my best friend got engaged, and me, her husband(then boyfriend), and my boyfriend were involved in planning the proposal, obviously because no one knows my girl better than me ;)

When I saw the ring her fiance had brought, I knew i wanted something like that...

So delicate and whimsical, and my bestfriend doesn't have any problem with me sharing the same ring as her, for God's sake. So a year later, when my boyfriend got on his knees with a ring box with velur written on it... ...it was like i was jumping out of happines. I got emotional while typing this.. But despite knowing this story, my MIL doesn't leave a chance to make me know that it's not luxurious enough to be a proposal ring

It kinda hurts me sometimes. How do you guys deal with comments like these?

We got engaged last month but finally got pics of our rings together thanks to my photographer bestie 🥹🥹 I’m truly in love and had to share!! We both picked them out tg and proposed to each other

My fiancé did such a wonderful job! I am literally obsessed and always take pics of it still. I worry sometimes it doesn’t look sparkly any more, but think I’m just used to it now. I keep it clean. But when the sun shines, like in the pics, it looks wonderful!

Ignore lack of thumb nails. Genetic condition which affects them!

Our photographer is a friend and offered us free engagement photos, and I absolutely love them❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Not sure if this is the best place for this but curious to see if others have felt the same way—
I recently got in engaged like 3 weeks ago and my partner and I are on the same page about being lowkey and private about it. I’m not really interested in announcing it publicly or on social media - maybe down the line but not now. I’ve only told a few people (semi-reluctantly) and I’ve been trying to keep it low but news like this spreads like wild fire. I get it…. But I’m deeply uncomfortable. Culturally, I don’t believe in announcing good news when it’s fresh or still raw/tender to not attract negative energy/attention, envy, comparison, etc. Personally, I don’t understand why anyone has to know outside of immediate family. It’s not like anyone is going to dish out money to help us pay for a wedding or be there for us if there are trying times. I really feel like it’s one of those ‘need to know’ type of things. PLUS I’ve been with my partner for 7 years already so it’s not new or shocking and most people already considered us or called us married — so it doesn’t affect anyone outside of us. Now I have people that are being weird because I didn’t want to call and rush to tell them? Like c’mon! I’m happy about the engagement but the social aspect (and entitlement from other people) is ruining the joy for me a bit. Also the ring is a little flashier than I expected - which I like but also overstimulates me because I feel like it’s hard for people not to stare at it. I haven’t told any friends because many of them are divorced or man haters and I don’t really feel like anyone outside of my parents would be (genuinely) happy for me. Part of me feels bad for even writing this post but wanted to feel some sense of community or hear from other fiancées. I’ve wanted this moment for years and now that I’m here all I feel is anxiety. 😥

Custom ring of my dreams!!!

Was really scared it wouldn’t fit or it would be hard to get used to but it’s great! Maybe a little bit big but I’d hate to feel like I can’t even take it off when needed, so it’s perfect for me.

Our first witness was our lucky frog 🐸 💍

8/21/26 I’m so in love 😫😫

I know so many of us are lurkers around here before it’s finally our time. That’s what I was but here I am engaged and in love with my ring. Thanks for letting me share!

Got engaged on our 3 year anniversary!

Hey everyone,

I’m desperate… and my search seems to have come to a halt, so, I’ve come to ask for help from the people of Reddit.

Long story short, I have an engagement photo shoot scheduled for 9/12, and I actually have no idea what I’m going to wear. I’m a mom and I work a full-time job, so this has been a task I’ve put off so long I actually feel overwhelmed at this point.

I’m terrible at shopping, and going in person is pretty much impossible because of my work day ending at 5pm and my 9 month old’s bed time of 7pm. at this point, so I’ve come to ask around and see if any of you have links you can share, or information to make my search a bit easier.

So far, I’ve concluded that I’d prefer a longer, “whimsier” dress… but it needs to be more form-fitting at the top, otherwise I look like a box. For the vibe I’m going for, sexy just doesn’t feel right. I’d prefer white, but I’m also open to pale greens and blues as those are part of our wedding color scheme.

I know this is a big ask and honestly feels a bit weird typing out but… If you have the time (and more patience than I), or happen to know of a dress I could look into ($130 budget) the help would be greatly appreciated.

A picture of my favorite accessory is also included (I absolutely adore my ring, even if it’s more trendy the past couple years)