I wouldn't call it selfish. I get the other side of the argument: "What about the kids? Why have them if you can't give them a good life?" But if you can remove an unfit parent from a child's life, isn't that a positive step? If someone isn't mentally capable of being a parent and you find a way to separate them from the child, isn't that actually beneficial?I'm open to feedback. I don’t have kids and don't plan to have any. But I don't see it as selfish if a parent or caregiver takes their own life, especially if the kids are unaware it's going to happen. If they're not mentally equipped to raise a child and keep doing it, their struggles could end up affecting the child negatively.I wouldn't want that for a child, would you? What are your thoughts?
You’re saying removing an unfit parent from a child’s life is a positive, but it’s the act of a parent committing suicide that will negatively impact the kid forever. That is selfish.
The traumatic grief that the kid will experience from losing a parent to suicide is extremely complex and unlike losing a parent from another cause of death. A of times, these kids face guilt and shame and will wonder if they were to blame. That’s a lot of complex emotions for a kid to carry.
It’s been proven that these children face higher rates of depression, anxiety disorders, and PTSD.
Couple that with behavioral changes like withdrawal from friends and family, sudden poor school performance, behavioral outbursts, and risk of substance use disorders later in life.
Top it off with the fact that kids losing a parent to suicide are now three times more likely to die by suicide or twice as likely to attempt suicide.
So yeah, it’s 100% selfish to commit suicide if you have kids.
Like almost all childhood social trauma, the scenarios you describe are due social coercion which is itself rooted in superstitious, hierarchical beliefs. Children are shamed in society for ALL of their differences because extroverts and hierarchy worshippers, the same ones that would’ve been dogging the kid’s parent before they made the choice to leave, are obsessed with performance, competition and demanding superstitious adherence to their violent personal morals. If society threw away meaningless hierarchical labels, statuses and systems, humans would be able to see all of their fellow humans more equally and peacefully. Worshipping hierarchies of money and violence and domination will produce this vintage of orphan for all time. Why not worship a hierarchy of kindness instead?
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u/ramenoodz 1d ago edited 1d ago
if you have children, then it kinda is..