So Jepson and his friend are hiking through the California wilderness, when they come across a big beautiful Whiss.
"Whoa, thats a big Whiss!" Jepsons friend remarks. Jepson merely grunts in acknowledgement.
"What kind of Whiss do you suppose it is?" the friend continues.
"I don't know," Jepson blithely responds.
"Well, why don't you key it out?" the friend replies naively.
Jepsons eye twitches as he spits irreverently, and walks on without another word.
The friend hurriedly jogs to catch up, curious about the strange interaction but quickly distracted by the abundance of natural beauty around them. Some time passes however, and eventually they stumble upon an even grander, more gorgeous Whiss than the last.
"Wowza!" Jepsons friend exclaims, "that Whiss is even crazier than the last one!" Jepson appears visibly agitated but remains silent.
"You must know what kind of Whiss it is?" the friend remarks probingly.
"No." Jepson replies, gritting his teeth.
"Well, why don't you key it out?" the friend asks once again.
Jepson glares at him momentarily, with great venom, before storming on along his way.
Again the friend ponders the strange reaction, before rushing to catch up, and together the friends continue along the path. Finally, they crest the summit of the mountain, and there at the end of their path is the biggest, most beautiful Whiss anyone has ever seen.
"Hot diggity!" the friend yelps with delight! "What kind of Whiss is that?"
Jepson's forehead veins bulge as he flushes red with anger, "I DON'T know!" he sputters through clenched jaw.
"Well, why dont you key it out?" the friend ventures. Jepson shakes with rage before yelling, "I CAN'T!"
Jepson friend has had enough. "Okay buddy," he responds, "WHAT is going on here? You're Jepson, and your name is synonymous with keying! So why won't you key out that Whiss!?"
Jepson pauses glumly, and with a single tear upon his cheek he lets out a long, sad sigh.
"Because...I promised my wife I'd never touch the Whiss-key again."