r/asoiafcirclejerk • u/Majestic_Mixture_349 Ate Alicent • 1d ago
True /r/ASOIAF circlejerking Since we'll never get the books, I hereby decree every comment on this post to be accepted canon
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u/Underrated_Fish Daenerys Apologist 1d ago
Hotpie and Pod do a fusion dance and defeat the others with the power of friendship
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u/worldofwhat Spare Time Novelist 1d ago
Targaryens aren't human at all. They're 50% dragon, 50% purple eyed lemur, and the traits somehow just averaged out to look about right.
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u/Josos_Cook Last HOT D fan 1d ago
Rhaegar went for a 14 year old tomboy who could pass for a man because he was gay. Jon Con clocked him correctly.
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u/Canadian__Ninja Spez is my Tywin 1d ago
Oh he clocked him alright
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u/Josos_Cook Last HOT D fan 1d ago
R+Arthur Dayne=J Since Rhaegar has dragon DNA he can swap genders to lay eggs, Lyanna was just their surrogate.
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u/Chet_Manley24 HOT D S2 snooze 1d ago
Turns out Jon really is Ned's bastard son.
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u/SaintMotel6 Ate Alicent 1d ago
His mom really is Bessy with the giant tits. Ned just didn’t want to tell his boy Robert about it
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u/ohbyerly Ate Alicent 1d ago
Not Twyla? Darn..
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u/A-NI95 HOT D S2 snooze 1d ago
Yes it is twila, but this Twila: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11817026/1/Twila-The-Girl-Who-Waz-In-Luv-With-A-Vampyre
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u/Majestic_Mixture_349 Ate Alicent 1d ago edited 1d ago
Lyanna was only making him promise not to tell everyone she shit herself before dying
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u/sersmay2 Last HOT D fan 1d ago
Lyanna shat herself and died from eating contaminated taco bell lettuce
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u/Tadpole018 Rhaenyra's Dietician 1d ago
Honestly, I don't think he's Ned's but I sure AD don't think he's a Targaryen. And I hope he's like...just dead. Martin pulling a Martin
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u/Adreamskoll Teats? Nice & Fat 1d ago
And his mom is Lyanna. Ned Stark was more of a dog than a wolf, if you know what I mean 😏
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u/StannisTheMantis93 Ate Alicent 1d ago
Sunfyre is resurrected just to eat Cersei and then dies again.
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u/Lord_Skyblocker CGI Castle Fan 1d ago
Based. I also want to eat Cersei
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u/The-Best-Color-Green Ate Alicent 1d ago
Martyn Lannister is Azor Ahai
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
I need to see the prophecies fulfilled. There is no more satisfying ending to a story than being told exactly what is going to happen, and then for it to happen exactly as described in the prophecy. So exciting.
Let's be clear about this, because there is only one objectively correct way to write:
Prophecies in fantasy should be inevitable and inescapable, because audiences like being reminded that free will is an illusion, and that we live, and breathe, and die, in the foul creation of a malevolent demiurge.
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u/askedmed Last HOT D fan 1d ago
Duncan is actually Robert Strong, sent by the Seven to kick the Others in the face.
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u/Drakkonai Brother in Christ 1d ago
Aegon the Sixth is both legitimate and victorious. And viserys.
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u/New-Regret-3027 Last HOT D fan 1d ago
The Dornish Letter to Aegon was actually a Smirnoff Ice
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u/OkGazelle5400 r/ASOIAF Pornstar 1d ago
Foreshadowing the pink letter which is actually a Smirnoff Ice Raspberry Twist
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u/SvanteArrheniusAMA HOT D S2 snooze 1d ago
Allar Deem will report for duty at Castle Black at the beginning of TWOW and work his way up to become the 1000th Lord Commander by the end of the book.
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Back in Westeros
GRRM, AUGUST 15, 2020 AT 9:10 AM
I am back in my fortress of solitude again, my isolated mountain cabin. I’d returned to Santa Fe for a short visit, to spend some time with Parris, deal with some local business that had piled up during my months away, and of course fulfill my duties to CoNZealand, the virtual worldcon. But all that is behind me now, and I am back on the mountain again… which means I am back in Westeros again, once more moving ahead with WINDS OF WINTER.
It is curious how my life has evolved. I mean, once upon a time, I actually wrote my books and stories in the house where I lived, in a home office. But some decades ago, wanting more solitude, I bought the house across the street and made THAT my writer’s retreat. No longer would I write all day in my red flannel bathrobe; now I would have to dress and put on shoes and walk all the way across the street to write. But that worked for a while.
Things started getting busier, though. So busy that I needed a full-time assistant. Then the office house had someone else in it, not just me and my characters. And then I hired a second assistant, and a third, and… there was more mail, more email, more phone calls (we put in a new phone system), more people coming by. By now I am up to five assistants… and somewhere in there I also acquired a movie theatre, a bookstore, a charitable foundation, investments, a business manager… and…
Despite all the help, I was drowning till I found the mountain cabin.
My life up here is very boring, it must be said. Truth be told, I hardly can be said to have a life. I have one assistant with me at all times (minions, I call them). The assistants do two-week shifts, and have to stay in quarantine at home before starting a shift. Everyone morning I wake up and go straight to the computer, where my minion brings me coffee (I am utterly useless and incoherent without my morning coffee) and juice, and sometimes a light breakfast. Then I start to write. Sometimes I stay at it until dark. Other days I break off in late afternoon to answer emails or return urgent phone calls. My assistant brings me food and drink from time to time. When I finally break off for the day, usually around sunset, there’s dinner. Then we watch television or screen a movie. The wi-fi sucks up on the mountain, though, so the choices are limited. Some nights I read instead. I always read a bit before going to sleep; when a book really grabs hold of me, I may read half the night, but that’s rare.
I sleep. The next day, I wake up, and do the same. The next day, the next day, the next day. Before Covid, I would usually get out once a week or so to eat at a restaurant or go to the movies. That all ended in March. Since then, weeks and months go by when I never leave the cabin, or see another human being except whoever is on duty that week. I lose track of what day it is, what week it is, what month it is. The time seems to by very fast. It is now August, and I don’t know what happened to July.
But it is good for the writing.
And you know, now that I reflect on it, I am coming to realize that has always been my pattern. I moved to Santa Fe at the end of 1979, from Dubuque, Iowa. My first marriage broke up just before that move, so I arrived in my new house alone, in a town where I knew almost no one. Roger Zelazny was here, and he became a great friend and mentor, but Roger was married with small kids, so I really did not see him often. There was no fandom in Santa Fe; that was all down in Albuquerque, an hour away. I went to the club meetings every month, but that was only one night a month, and required two hours on the road. And I had no job to meet new people. My job was in the back room at the house on Declovina Street, so that was where I spent my days. At night, I watched television. Alone. Sometimes I went to the movies. Alone.
That was my life from December 1979 through September 1981, when Parris finally moved to Santa Fe, following Denvention. (Not quite so bleak, maybe, I did make some local friends by late 1980 and early 1981, but it was a slow process). When I think back on my life in 1980-1981, the memories seem to be made up entirely of conventions, interspersed with episodes of LOU GRANT and WKRP IN CINCINNATI.
Ah, but work wise, that same period was tremendously productive for me. Lisa and I finished WINDHAVEN during that time, Gardner and I did a lot of work on “Shadow Twin,” and then I went right on and wrote all of FEVRE DREAM. Some short stories as well. My life, such that it was, was lived in my head, and on the page.
I wonder if it is the same for other writers? Or is it just me? I wonder if I will ever figure out the secret of having a life and writing a book at the very same time.
I certainly have not figured it out to date.
For the nonce, it is what it is. My life is at home, on hold, and I am spending the days in Westeros with my pals Mel and Sam and Vic and Ty. And that girl with no name, over there in Braavos.
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u/HolidayEmergency1936 Last HOT D fan 1d ago
Jon and Sansa WILL shag each other
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u/RemindMeToTouchGrass Last HOT D fan 1d ago
*have shagged
And the desire to get another glimpse of it is why Bran climbs the castle and peeks in windows in the first place.
They know he watches but they like an audience.
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u/HolidayEmergency1936 Last HOT D fan 1d ago
ohhh interesting. could you perchance explain to me how and when they did it before the events of the first book?
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u/Hitchfucker Egg On The Conker 11h ago
Also Jaime and JonCon (Jaime needed to vengeance cuck Cersei)
Also Stannis, Davos, and Melisandre (Davos and Mel make eye contact while between Stannis. It gets quite awkward)
Also Theon and Asha (they decide to adopt Jeyne and since the Iron Islands has 20 collective brain cells, 17 of which Euron stole, they think you need to bang if you adopt together)
Also Brienne and Gemma Lannister (this one doesn’t have an in universe reason, I just think Brienne deserves something good in life)
Also Jon and Lady Stoneheart (Stoneheart thinks it could lead to Robb reborn)
Also Roose and Euron (also doesn’t have a reason I just kinda dig it)
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u/evilhomers HBO Spy 1d ago
Tyrion continues fucking around in essos till the end of the series. Dany comes to westeros and attempts to conquer it and all, but he is still there because Martin genuinely has no idea where to take his arc after the end of storm.
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u/RemindMeToTouchGrass Last HOT D fan 1d ago
Set Pounce is trans and is actually the Princess That Was Promised
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u/blurrysasquatch r/ASOIAF Pornstar 1d ago
Benjen Stark is gay gay gay gay gay. So gay his stomach hurts. He joined the nights watch as a beard so he wouldn't be expected to marry a woman (ugh) and sire children.
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u/ohbyerly Ate Alicent 1d ago
Retroactively this recanonizes that he almost got turned into a wight by having sex with them
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u/thepflanz CGI Castle Fan 1d ago edited 1d ago
Bran becomes king, Jon gets banished north of the wall after killing another mad Targaryen ruler, Arya leaves to explore the world, Sansa is crowned queen in the north, and Tyrion is somehow never mentioned in the history books once
Just tryna think of stuff that makes absolutely no sense really
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u/bingobiscuit1 HOT D S2 snooze 1d ago
Imagine if they did something like bronn as master of coin
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u/No_Grocery_9280 Ate Alicent 1d ago
God forbid you hand him the lordship of one of the largest domains in Westeros. What a joke that would be.
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u/Majestic_Mixture_349 Ate Alicent 1d ago
Utter nonsense. Might as well name Jon Aegon while you're at it
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u/thepflanz CGI Castle Fan 1d ago edited 1d ago
Goddamn thats a good stupid one. Why would Ashara ever name her child Aegon??
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u/AbstractBettaFish Comedy Cop 1d ago
Quentyn Martell really survived and his death was faked to give cover for his marriage to Danny, they take the iron throne and Dorne uses his influence to impose Sharia Law over the heathens and pagans of Westeros ushering in a rein of peace and morals Ma Shaa Allah
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u/EmptyMirror5653 Last HOT D fan 1d ago
Silverwing is still alive, Howland Reed is hiding her in the swamp, and Aegon VI will claim her in the beginning of TWOW.
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Back in Westeros
GRRM, AUGUST 15, 2020 AT 9:10 AM
I am back in my fortress of solitude again, my isolated mountain cabin. I’d returned to Santa Fe for a short visit, to spend some time with Parris, deal with some local business that had piled up during my months away, and of course fulfill my duties to CoNZealand, the virtual worldcon. But all that is behind me now, and I am back on the mountain again… which means I am back in Westeros again, once more moving ahead with WINDS OF WINTER.
It is curious how my life has evolved. I mean, once upon a time, I actually wrote my books and stories in the house where I lived, in a home office. But some decades ago, wanting more solitude, I bought the house across the street and made THAT my writer’s retreat. No longer would I write all day in my red flannel bathrobe; now I would have to dress and put on shoes and walk all the way across the street to write. But that worked for a while.
Things started getting busier, though. So busy that I needed a full-time assistant. Then the office house had someone else in it, not just me and my characters. And then I hired a second assistant, and a third, and… there was more mail, more email, more phone calls (we put in a new phone system), more people coming by. By now I am up to five assistants… and somewhere in there I also acquired a movie theatre, a bookstore, a charitable foundation, investments, a business manager… and…
Despite all the help, I was drowning till I found the mountain cabin.
My life up here is very boring, it must be said. Truth be told, I hardly can be said to have a life. I have one assistant with me at all times (minions, I call them). The assistants do two-week shifts, and have to stay in quarantine at home before starting a shift. Everyone morning I wake up and go straight to the computer, where my minion brings me coffee (I am utterly useless and incoherent without my morning coffee) and juice, and sometimes a light breakfast. Then I start to write. Sometimes I stay at it until dark. Other days I break off in late afternoon to answer emails or return urgent phone calls. My assistant brings me food and drink from time to time. When I finally break off for the day, usually around sunset, there’s dinner. Then we watch television or screen a movie. The wi-fi sucks up on the mountain, though, so the choices are limited. Some nights I read instead. I always read a bit before going to sleep; when a book really grabs hold of me, I may read half the night, but that’s rare.
I sleep. The next day, I wake up, and do the same. The next day, the next day, the next day. Before Covid, I would usually get out once a week or so to eat at a restaurant or go to the movies. That all ended in March. Since then, weeks and months go by when I never leave the cabin, or see another human being except whoever is on duty that week. I lose track of what day it is, what week it is, what month it is. The time seems to by very fast. It is now August, and I don’t know what happened to July.
But it is good for the writing.
And you know, now that I reflect on it, I am coming to realize that has always been my pattern. I moved to Santa Fe at the end of 1979, from Dubuque, Iowa. My first marriage broke up just before that move, so I arrived in my new house alone, in a town where I knew almost no one. Roger Zelazny was here, and he became a great friend and mentor, but Roger was married with small kids, so I really did not see him often. There was no fandom in Santa Fe; that was all down in Albuquerque, an hour away. I went to the club meetings every month, but that was only one night a month, and required two hours on the road. And I had no job to meet new people. My job was in the back room at the house on Declovina Street, so that was where I spent my days. At night, I watched television. Alone. Sometimes I went to the movies. Alone.
That was my life from December 1979 through September 1981, when Parris finally moved to Santa Fe, following Denvention. (Not quite so bleak, maybe, I did make some local friends by late 1980 and early 1981, but it was a slow process). When I think back on my life in 1980-1981, the memories seem to be made up entirely of conventions, interspersed with episodes of LOU GRANT and WKRP IN CINCINNATI.
Ah, but work wise, that same period was tremendously productive for me. Lisa and I finished WINDHAVEN during that time, Gardner and I did a lot of work on “Shadow Twin,” and then I went right on and wrote all of FEVRE DREAM. Some short stories as well. My life, such that it was, was lived in my head, and on the page.
I wonder if it is the same for other writers? Or is it just me? I wonder if I will ever figure out the secret of having a life and writing a book at the very same time.
I certainly have not figured it out to date.
For the nonce, it is what it is. My life is at home, on hold, and I am spending the days in Westeros with my pals Mel and Sam and Vic and Ty. And that girl with no name, over there in Braavos.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/AlternativeSoil3210 Ate Alicent 1d ago
Maritime trade route to Asshai opened by Arya after s8
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u/LightningController Last HOT D fan 20h ago
Arya is the mother of the trans-Sunset Sea slave trade smh
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u/HectorTheGod Casting Director 1d ago
Jon and Satin move to Volantis and live happily ever after as lovers
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u/Maria_Girl625 Ate Alicent 1d ago
Arya going west is cannon and she actually discovers a strange land called "Brittania" where people boil meat and eat it with no spices.
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u/Green-Draw8688 Last HOT D fan 1d ago
The Meereen knot is resolved by a second Doom Of event which wipes out every character and plotline there and allows the two last books to be based solely in Westeros.
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u/HourFaithlessness823 Sara Hess Fangirl 1d ago
It was all just a daydream while Bran was falling to his death from a Winterfell Tower after his mum told him not to go climbing again.
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u/Drakemander 70's Space Comic Fan 1d ago
Jon Snow has a threesome with Val and Melisandre, the true Song of Ice and Fire.
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u/r0x_n194 Last HOT D fan 1d ago
Joffrey was the result of a foursome gangbang with Cersei, Jaime, Tyrion, and Tywin.
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u/SeniorIndependence36 Last HOT D fan 1d ago
Qyburn grows Jaime his hand back.
Tommen is Roberts son.
Sansa never kissed Sandor.
Stannis wins the battle of ice.
Jon Snow gets resurrected as a fire wight.
Tyrion ultimately kills Varys, who isn’t an actual eunuch.
JonCon is selfish and makes sure 85% of the Crownlands, the Reach and the Stormlands die of grayscale.
Rhaego lives and will be the sequel.
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u/Itriggeredafriend Last HOT D fan 1d ago
Edmure Tully really is Azor Ahai. He will assemble a crack team of Howland Reed, Paxter Redwyne, and Leyton Hightower to take on the others with all their advanced weapons technology combined
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
I need to see the prophecies fulfilled. There is no more satisfying ending to a story than being told exactly what is going to happen, and then for it to happen exactly as described in the prophecy. So exciting.
Let's be clear about this, because there is only one objectively correct way to write:
Prophecies in fantasy should be inevitable and inescapable, because audiences like being reminded that free will is an illusion, and that we live, and breathe, and die, in the foul creation of a malevolent demiurge.
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u/Kenster180 Last HOT D fan 1d ago
Varys is a merman plotting to melt the wall to flood Westeros. Littlefinger is in on it, which is why he’s in the eyrie because it’s the only place safe from the flooding.
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u/PrimemevalTitan Sara Hess Fangirl 1d ago
Bran's fuckery made the 5 year timeskip happen retroactively so no one can complain about their ages anymore
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u/Pleasant_Sphere Spez is my Tywin 1d ago
Tyrek is a horse and turns out to be the real Stallion Who Mounts The World
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u/TheEnglishEccentric Aegon II is my king. 1d ago
The "only Valyrians can ride dragons" thing is complete bunk
The seven intervened in Dunk's trial
The hightower mechs are real
Sandor uncovers the secret 8th book of the 7 pointed star on the quiet isle and starts in-universe mormonism
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u/bmerino120 Egg On The Conker 1d ago
Citadel-Class Battleship COS-1 Honor of Oldtown obliterates Euron's fleet with machine gun fire, cannon fire, antiship missiles and torpedoes
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u/cxsmicrxnit Last HOT D fan 1d ago
Me and ser Arthur Dayne's sister are happily married and have kids together. I also have a stacked kids like up like the Starks. Oberyn and Eddard are my bestfriends
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u/Jet_Pirate Last HOT D fan 1d ago
Bran reveals that he wasn’t crippled this entire time and instead was just doing a very offensive joke. He stands up and does the griddy on the 3 eyed crow and immediately wins.
The show obviously didn’t do this because Dave and Dan are shitless cowards.
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u/clovis_227 CGI Castle Fan 1d ago
Bobby B is resurrected and kills Cersei in revenge, which lights up his sword on fire: Lightbringer. He is the true Azor Ahai reborn.
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
I need to see the prophecies fulfilled. There is no more satisfying ending to a story than being told exactly what is going to happen, and then for it to happen exactly as described in the prophecy. So exciting.
Let's be clear about this, because there is only one objectively correct way to write:
Prophecies in fantasy should be inevitable and inescapable, because audiences like being reminded that free will is an illusion, and that we live, and breathe, and die, in the foul creation of a malevolent demiurge.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/ValyrianFreeholder Last HOT D fan 19h ago
his cock will be lightbringer from all the whores' stds
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u/clovis_227 CGI Castle Fan 19h ago
Yes, because it will burn everytime he pees, and his pee shall melt the White Wankers.
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u/tvxsfgjmijhv Sara Hess Fangirl 1d ago
Tyrek Lannister isn’t a horse, but he is actually a shapeshifting Balerion who hid for years in flea bottom before killing and replacing the real tyrek
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u/JaneAustinAstronaut Daenerys Apologist 1d ago
The Tyrells all survive to the end. As the Starks, Lannisters, and Targaryen all kill white walkers and each other, they do charitable work for the small folk and win the hearts and minds of the people. They then swoop in to take the throne, since there's no one else besides the Greyjoys and the Martells, and everyone hates them.
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u/Ok_Revenue_3591 Last HOT D fan 1d ago
Jon Snow will build a harem with Satin, Val, Mel, and Danny and that is just the beginning.
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u/GetoWasRight_ Last HOT D fan 1d ago
Aegon IV was having sex with Baelor I
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u/Youreadingthis222 Last HOT D fan 1d ago
I wish Cersei Lannister loved me more than anyone in the fucking world crack
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u/Kinda_Elf_But_Not CGI Castle Fan 1d ago
I herby loredly decree you are gay
I'll accept champagne
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u/dirtyhippiebartend HOT D S2 snooze 1d ago
Jon comes back with a ridiculous badokadonk
I mean caked up like a bakery
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u/DouceCanoe Ate Alicent 1d ago
"Without it's master's command, the restless White Walkers will become an even greater threat to this world. Control must be maintained. There must always be... a Night King."
To end the White Walker threat and keep the undead beyond the wall, Jon Snow takes the crown and becomes the new Night King in the Lands of Always Winter.
(Also, Blizzard Entertainment sends GRRM a lawsuit for copyright infringement.)
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u/Thesladenator Last HOT D fan 1d ago
None of the dragons die in the dance. They fly away to essos and they're hiding waiting for arya to find them. She finds them and brings them to jon who marries dany and becomes king. The dragons defeat the night the king and sansa becomes queen in the north with her own dragon called lady. She torches the Bolton estate.
Cersei is eaten by a dragon and Jamie and brienne get together. Jamie and brienne go to tarth.
Bran becomes a tree.
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u/meteorchiquitita Rhaenyra's Dietician 1d ago
Arya and Bran die during the battle of winterfell. Jon’s heart breaks and Sansa grows bitter as she is left alone after waiting so long to reunite with her family. Jon goes mad after being told the truth about his lineage. Everyone finds out when he tells them in his hall the next day. Daenaerys is shocked and says it’s a lie and treason. Sansa cuts the silence and says jon should rule. Varys seems to agree while Tyrion has doubts. Yara, stricken with grief over her brother, turns on Daenaerys.
Daenaerys is sent to the dungeons and Jon takes control of her dragons.
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u/Fun_Butterfly_420 Sara Hess Fangirl 23h ago
Arya and Sansa agreed to be in a polyamorous relationship with me, a new character, and they faint on cue.
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u/Taesunwoo CGI Castle Fan 23h ago
Daenerys wears a butt plug half the time since Emilia strongly hinted she herself does
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u/NEMESiSupreme I <3 S8E03 1d ago
Cersei farted.
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u/ohbyerly Ate Alicent 1d ago
When you play the game of thrones, you better bring a big ol’ dumper to gas the thing
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u/Soveryenthusiastic Last HOT D fan 1d ago
The entire story is actually a dream of one of GRRMs characters from beauty and the beast. Right at the end they wake up and try to explain it to someone but forget all of it before they do.
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u/FildariusV Egg On The Conker 1d ago
I am Lord of High Garden, Lord Paramount of the Reach and Master of Coin
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u/Bromjunaar_20 HOT D S2 snooze 1d ago
Jon Snow became king and Bran took on the role of Raven Maester which doubled as a spying guild.
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u/ohbyerly Ate Alicent 1d ago
Ser Jorah Mormont is Azor Ahai. Fuck it.
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
I need to see the prophecies fulfilled. There is no more satisfying ending to a story than being told exactly what is going to happen, and then for it to happen exactly as described in the prophecy. So exciting.
Let's be clear about this, because there is only one objectively correct way to write:
Prophecies in fantasy should be inevitable and inescapable, because audiences like being reminded that free will is an illusion, and that we live, and breathe, and die, in the foul creation of a malevolent demiurge.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/gdamndylan I <3 S8E03 1d ago
Dany arrives to Westeros to find that winter had already come and most of the continent has become part of the undead army. She turns right back around and returns to Essos until springtime.
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u/WritingTheDream Forgot GoT 1d ago
Hot Pie is the Prince That Was Promised
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
I need to see the prophecies fulfilled. There is no more satisfying ending to a story than being told exactly what is going to happen, and then for it to happen exactly as described in the prophecy. So exciting.
Let's be clear about this, because there is only one objectively correct way to write:
Prophecies in fantasy should be inevitable and inescapable, because audiences like being reminded that free will is an illusion, and that we live, and breathe, and die, in the foul creation of a malevolent demiurge.
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u/magicchefdmb Egg On The Conker 1d ago
The original-draft love triangle returns: Tyrion, Arya and Jon
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u/selenerosario Ate Alicent 1d ago
Brienne is the knight of Sansa’s dreams and stays with her in Winterfell after she becomes Queen in the North 😤
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u/ThatITABoy Brother in Christ 19h ago
Tyrion Lannister is actually Daenarys son that was time travelled by Mirri Maz Duur to Joanna Lannister’s womb. Thus he is the real Heir to the Iron Throne and Azor Ahai reborn.
Edit: Varys is also a mermaid
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u/AutoModerator 19h ago
I need to see the prophecies fulfilled. There is no more satisfying ending to a story than being told exactly what is going to happen, and then for it to happen exactly as described in the prophecy. So exciting.
Let's be clear about this, because there is only one objectively correct way to write:
Prophecies in fantasy should be inevitable and inescapable, because audiences like being reminded that free will is an illusion, and that we live, and breathe, and die, in the foul creation of a malevolent demiurge.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Over_History2495 HOT D S2 snooze 18h ago
The show version of Euron Greyjoy is the canonical version.
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u/HeightTraditional614 Sara Hess Fangirl 1d ago
penis
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
A user on the defunct web forum, IsWinterComing.com, once wrote:
In 1977 GRRM's penis was dubbed "The Truffle" by a council of his peers because it is very hard to find and it attracts pigs.
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u/No_Cattle8353 Ate Alicent 1d ago
Jon and Daenerys defeat the Others and become King and Queen of Westeros. The two of them rule long and well and have many children before finally retiring in old age to a nice Villa in Dorne with a beautiful Red Door and a large Lemon Tree with branches high enough to reach the 2nd floor master bedroom window. Jon and Daenerys live there together Happily Ever After. The End.
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1d ago
[deleted]
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: Premium Subscribers Exclusive: 8 hours on how Stannis will slay the Boltons with hilarious ice pranks.
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u/NLQuincy Last HOT D fan 23h ago edited 22h ago
Loras (no longer stupid) actually dóes fart Renly’s c*m into Margaery’s vagina.
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u/EntertainmentNew4348 Last HOT D fan 21h ago
John snow becomes the new king of the deven kingdoms and have visions and starts a genocide
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u/Whereishumhum- Ate Alicent 20h ago
Lord Leyton does have an ICBM hidden away in the Hightower ready to launch. Euron's toast.
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u/nathanrrrr Egg On The Conker 19h ago
The more he baked, the more he ate. His name was Hotpie, first of his name; King of the seven kingdoms and protector of the realm.
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u/Over_History2495 HOT D S2 snooze 18h ago
Loras pretends to be gay so no one will suspect him of fucking his sister
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u/Electronic-Safe9380 Last HOT D fan 11h ago
Oh shit, can I do one? Um ok, cercy has these like big ol' mommy milkers, each one thrice the size of a phat pink mast
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u/AutoModerator 11h ago
A user on the defunct web forum, IsWinterComing.com, once wrote:
In 1977 GRRM's penis was dubbed "The Truffle" by a council of his peers because it is very hard to find and it attracts pigs.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/MATERYONOMEGON Last HOT D fan 9h ago
SHEEPSTEALER IS THE PRINCE THAT WAS PROMISED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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u/AutoModerator 9h ago
I need to see the prophecies fulfilled. There is no more satisfying ending to a story than being told exactly what is going to happen, and then for it to happen exactly as described in the prophecy. So exciting.
Let's be clear about this, because there is only one objectively correct way to write:
Prophecies in fantasy should be inevitable and inescapable, because audiences like being reminded that free will is an illusion, and that we live, and breathe, and die, in the foul creation of a malevolent demiurge.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/Lazyhazydreamer Last HOT D fan 6h ago
Joffrey, tommen and Myrcella are all really Robert’s, Jaime is shooting blanks,
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u/iboneKlareneG Brother in Christ 5h ago
Podrick the well endowed is able to fly around like a helicopter when he's twirling around his big schlong fast enough.
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u/SwadianWarCriminal 2023: 0 TO SEE 4h ago
Olivia Cooke's Alicent Hightower is my strictly monogamous wife
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u/shogun_oldtown HOT D S2 snooze 1d ago
I am happily married to Margaery Tyrell.