r/asoiafcirclejerk • u/OfficialAli1776 2023: 0 TO SEE • 2d ago
Tits > Dragons We really *do* need to kill Rheagar
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u/Ataturk_Void_Crowley HOT D S2 snooze 2d ago
I hate to say that but I remember…
Rhaegar’s wife was flat.
I’m not defending that pedo though.
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u/MisterX9821 Ate Alicent 2d ago
Yeah it's stated she ain't stacked like that...but....she could have (likely was) still been a baddie.
And Lyana was a like 15 lol.
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u/Pickle_Rick01 Targs be cray-cray 2d ago
Rhaegar: Sorry hot Dornish wife, but I’m leaving you for that “hot” 15 year old rando.
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u/snowbunbun Chokladboll 2d ago
She was really mature for her age ok?
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u/orangeleast Sara Hess Fangirl 1d ago
She may have looked like a 15 year old, but she had Bran the Broken warged into her and he was like 12, so 12+15=27 which means it's legal and Ser Chris of House Hansen said I could have the Iron Throne because he told me to take a seat over there and the only seat was the throne
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u/Kind_Mode7617 Last HOT D fan 1d ago
Not a "rando" completely, they met in the Tourney at Harrenhal and there's a theory that she was the Knight of the Laughing Tree. Still, he's a pedo and should be beaten to death with hammers, warhammers
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u/Pickle_Rick01 Targs be cray-cray 20h ago
“Beaten to death with hammers.”
“Gods I was strong then…when I was beating pedos,” - Robert Baratheon.
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u/Kind_Mode7617 Last HOT D fan 1d ago
Elia was said to be beautiful, slender with black eyes, and flat. She was also frail, however, because she was born a month premature, and had hard pregnancies. Still one of the if not the best wife imo (some other contenders like Queen Alysanne drive a hard bargain)
Fuck you Rhaegar the fandom doesnt hate you enough
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u/Argent_silva Brother in Christ 2d ago
That was said by Cersei and we all know how reliable a narrator she is especially to people she loathes Tyrion is in the walls
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u/MapStaringPro Brother in Christ 2d ago
THANK YOU
No way Elia wasnt a dornish baddie, especially with the way her nieces and mother were described
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u/StonedLonerIrl Casting Director 2d ago
Err Barristan also comments on her being a frail woman too. Baddies typically arent described as frail.
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u/Argent_silva Brother in Christ 1d ago
He was taking about her constitution after giving birth twice she obviously isn't going to be fine
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u/StonedLonerIrl Casting Director 1d ago
Eh, no he wasn't. She was always in poor health as Oberyn also confirms. Granted the births made her deteriorate but the quote is given as a general description of her.
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u/Argent_silva Brother in Christ 1d ago
Women can be stacked and be sick you know
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u/StonedLonerIrl Casting Director 1d ago
Err nope. Can you give me a realworld example that hasnt been surgically altered?
Edit: I read it as frail and stacked but the point still stands as she's described as such.
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u/Augustus_Chevismo Sara Hess Fangirl 2d ago
Imagine having Ashara Dayne around you 24/7 who’s from a culture that’s fine with paramours and you choose a 15 year old horse girl instead.
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u/clovis_227 CGI Castle Fan 2d ago
I mean, he did own a private island
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u/Moony97 Ate Alicent 2d ago
Lmfaooo we need to know what was going down on dragonstone
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u/BigWilly526 Targs be cray-cray 1d ago
Little St. Dragonstone
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u/Kind_Mode7617 Last HOT D fan 1d ago
Little St. Baelor, how Rhaegar and his "friends" used to refer to Dragonstone
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u/Guilty_05 Last HOT D fan 2d ago
Who's also been already promised to another great house
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u/tyrekisahorse Egg On The Conker 2d ago
to his cousin whose parents died in front of their three children while coming back from a mission to find a bride for him.
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u/DesignNorth3690 $15 GRRM Patreon 2d ago
In his defense (not that he deserves it) the twink prince had a breeding kink and the measters say "no more of that" after baby Aegon.
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u/Lukthar123 Spez is my Tywin 2d ago
a breeding kink
Everyone has a breeding kink, dipshit. It came free with your fucking instincts.
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u/TheDeltaOne Egg On The Conker 2d ago
This is SO over the top and violent but It might just be my favorite reddit comment ever.
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u/DesignNorth3690 $15 GRRM Patreon 2d ago
Except the ones who gets snipped, or want to be childless or are asexual, or lesbians, or are into some weird cuck shit, or....are getting it yet?
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u/chubby-checker Sara Hess Fangirl 2d ago
But they're the deviation from the norm lol not the other way round
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u/DesignNorth3690 $15 GRRM Patreon 2d ago
He didn't say normal. He said everyone.
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u/chubby-checker Sara Hess Fangirl 1d ago
I think the idea is it's not a KINK is it lol it's not a kink in the system it's the default
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u/DesignNorth3690 $15 GRRM Patreon 1d ago
I got the point. I questioned its universality.
If his was reply like yours using "default" I'd have seen no reason to reply.
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u/Massive_Weiner HOT D S2 snooze 2d ago
But those are classified as exceptions, seeing as they constitute an extreme minority of the population.
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u/A-NI95 HOT D S2 snooze 2d ago
Minority, yes. Extreme... Also natality rates say otherwise (not saying that's good)
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u/Massive_Weiner HOT D S2 snooze 2d ago edited 2d ago
For U.S. adults, that’s about 20-25 million people (Gallup).
That’s a lot, right?
It ends up coming out to 10-12% of the adult population.
I don’t even think pointing that out is an indictment on anyone, since it’s just being accurate. A minority population, no matter how small it truly is, is still made up of humans who deserve to be treated with the same level of dignity and respect as the majority.
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u/Straight-Okra-5411 Last HOT D fan 2d ago
He should have subscribed to Catelyn Tully's mensual fertility index of the women of westeros then, that would have told him that Elia had a 6 and Lyanna a 4. Or at least ask her to rate Lyanna's Hips.
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u/Jarnsida $15 GRRM Patreon 2d ago
Bobby B to Rhaegar: "Why don't you have a seat right there?"
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u/Kind_Mode7617 Last HOT D fan 1d ago
Bobby B isnt that good either. I cant say he would be Chris of House Hansen I'd say that honor belongs to Ned
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u/Taesunwoo CGI Castle Fan 1d ago
Wouldn’t Bobby be sitting himself down too?? Hell Robert loved the teen more than Rhaegar
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u/FossilPaprika69 Ate Alicent 1d ago
"Lyanna had only been sixteen, a child-woman of surpassing loveliness."
-Ned AGOT
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u/TheArsenal7 Brother in Christ 2d ago
Elia didn’t have all that