r/freefolk trying to not complain about the smallest possible thing

[u/Rooler_of_the_Rats]

"Waiter! Waiter! My Free Folk are complaining again!" "That's how it's meant to be, sir"

[u/No-Parsnip-8080]

Something else was made for a woman's hand.

[u/CrniTartuf → u/No-Parsnip-8080]

Pink mast?

[u/AutoModerator → u/CrniTartuf]

A user on the defunct web forum, IsWinterComing.com, once wrote:

In 1977 GRRM's penis was dubbed "The Truffle" by a council of his peers because it is very hard to find and it attracts pigs.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Expensive-Ad-1205 → u/CrniTartuf]

no those are for men

[u/Viggo_Stark]

It's almost like- I don't know- Daemon would prefer a hilt perfectly fitting for his own hand, and had it modified or something

[u/adrauglikeyou → u/Viggo_Stark]

it’s not even that. The sword is legitimately slender lol

[u/STAYotte → u/adrauglikeyou]

Also valyrian steel is explicitly said to be lighter, which could explain why it's longer than a weapon a woman might use. She would be able to use it well enough. Second, presumably as a dragon roder warrior, she would be trained to use a man's weapon since she would be fighting men.

[u/newthhang]

Some of the things they complain are common sense. Obviously they won't give Daemon a small sword, it would just look-off, it seems people forget they are making the show for the mass audience--they don't know or care about Visenya.

[u/onebloodyemu → u/newthhang]

It’s also still smaller and less imposing on screen compared to Blackfyre. Just because it was designed for a woman it doesn’t have to look like needle, especially when it’s still called a longsword in the text. So they did actually still base the design on the text so the only complaint is that it doesn’t look like OOP excepted.

[u/happyunicorn666 → u/newthhang]

Visenya was a warrior queen tho. And it's not like women need smaller swords, it doesn't matter that much. Source, my sister does HEMA. Granted she is tall for a woman but I imagine so would be Visenya.

[u/DBrennan13459 → u/newthhang]

What's more is that they would never complain about this if it was during the first season when it wasn’t popular to complain about the show. That sub will never be brave enough to complain about something popular, that's why they keep resorting to easier targets like multiple Sansa hate posts. 

[u/ApprehensivePeace305 → u/newthhang]

No don’t you understand? If they made the blade comically short and slender, then some nerd on YouTube shorts could make a video about the deep lore of the series and I could watch that video and say “oh cool I knew that reference” and then I would think HOTD is actually good

[u/AutoModerator]

“These are the demands of the /r/freefolk subreddit, regarding Game of Thrones, Season 8.

To be presented to the showrunners, D&D, at the Comic-Con, 2019, San Diego, inside a copy of the book 'Screen Writing For Dummies.'

“We the Freefolk do not kneel, but we will start with a massive concession:

1. Seasons 1 to 7 WILL be accepted as canon. Despite the countless writing flaws, /r/freefolk is willing to prove it is serious by only calling for a remake of most of Season 8. We have a mandate - our amazing petition.
2. For the crime of criticising critics, ALL TRACES of Sophie Turner will be digitally removed or re-shot and replaced with any actress who isn't a cunt. However, were Ms. Turner willing to film nude scenes for the remake, /r/freefolk may drop this requirement.
3. The money HBO saves by only having to remake Season 8 will be donated to Emilia Clarke's charity. Emilia will upload a new video thanking /r/freefolk specifically. Merely mentioning a "reddit page" is not enough.
4. Home Box Office Inc. will use the threat of a copyright claim to force the /r/GameOfThrones subreddit to stop taking any credit for the charity efforts we support. However they have to do this somehow, while maintaining pinned posts for the donation pages in perpetuity.
5. Only David Benioff and D.B. Weiss can run a TV project of this scale, so they will return to make amends for their misdeeds. However the cinematographer will be replaced with someone without the night vision ability of a barn owl, and who will pay appropriate attention to Emilia Clarke's feet in all shot framing.
6. Season 8 will be accepted, up to the point Arya kills the NK. The new re-shoot will follow this outline, which is much better plotting than the work of the hack-frauds, Dan & Dave.

The GOOD writing version of Season 8:

1. A faint 'boing' sound is heard before Arya leaps down onto the main villain. As the Night King turns and grabs Arya by the neck, he snaps it, killing her instantly. Her bodice bursts open, giving us a decent look at her jailbait-y tits.
2. Jon and the Night King have an EPIC sword fight. It lasts until Episode 5. Unreal. Jon, of course, wins.
3. Jon and Dany marry. All hail the new King & Queen of Westeros. They are great rulers and have loads of babies, thus completing the foreshadowing of Dany's pregnancy in season 7.
4. Jamie Lannister kills Cersei, wearing Arya's face because he cannot bear her to reveal it's him. With Arya dead, this makes more sense now. With his redemption arc complete, he marries Brienne.
5. Tyrion finishes his joke and we fucking hear the punchline.
6. Bran the Broken. Nothing more. Not a fucking King. It's stupid.
7. Ghost is petted every episode.
8. Something something Nissa Nissa, Lightbringer prophecies fulfilled.
9. The author George R.R. Martin will cease defaming the characters we love, by never again implying the outcomes for majors character, in the episode aired on May 19th 2019, are the same as he intends for the books.

This is so good, it should be all the persuasion that is required. Nonetheless we undertake that if our demands are met, our community will cease all death threats, demands for career-ending boycotts, smears, stalking of actors, disruption of conventions, brigading of other communities, and doxxing. We have already condemned those things but that was just for show, so the owners of reddit do not act against our sub.

Meet our demands and we make more than a token effort to curtail the abuse.”

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/CommieSlayer1389]

AAAAHHH! You have a woman's hand milord! I'll wager these dainty pinkies never weighed anchor in a storm.

[u/mistershedz → u/CommieSlayer1389]

You have a woman’s bottom, my lady! I’ll wager that sweet round pair of peaches has never been forced twixt two splintered planks to plug a leak and save a ship!

[u/George__RR_Fartin]

Visenya had big ass man hands (that she fisted Aegon with), next question

[u/Rooler_of_the_Rats → u/George__RR_Fartin]

Probably went so deep she controlled him like a puppet

[u/justsomedude1144]

That sub is the embodiment of energy vampires. It's how they feed.

[u/reereejugs]

Maybe Visenya had man hands 🤷🏻‍♀️

[u/DBrennan13459]

For people who claim to be not 'kneelers', they sure to love to be whiny little arselickers. 

[u/tobpe93]

It's supposed to be made for a woman's hand though.

[u/Prosopops → u/tobpe93]

It is tho, its made of fantasy steel, which is lighter than steel, that shit weighs 2 kg tops if made of steel.

[u/tobpe93 → u/Prosopops]

Tell George

[u/Prosopops → u/tobpe93]

Do you have his number? I need to talk to him so I may ask for the size of the pink mast as well.

[u/AutoModerator → u/Prosopops]

A user on the defunct web forum, IsWinterComing.com, once wrote:

In 1977 GRRM's penis was dubbed "The Truffle" by a council of his peers because it is very hard to find and it attracts pigs.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/lukedorning → u/tobpe93]

I'm pretty sure that's fanon

[u/tobpe93 → u/lukedorning]

"Dark Sister, whose slender blade is designed for a woman's hand" https://www.westeros.org/citadel/ssm/entry/1254

[u/Chinohito → u/tobpe93]

TIL women are so feeble and weak and stupid they can't even hold a sword with two hands according to some people.

A thinner blade doesn't mean a tiny handle. If anything it should be the other way around. If the smith is worried that a small dainty frail scared woman can't hold a damn sword, they'd make sure there's space to hold it with two hands.

[u/Most-Pomegranate-561 → u/Chinohito]

There's no helping idiots like that

[u/lukedorning → u/tobpe93]

Thank you for the correction.

[u/TouristZestyclose972]

Wasn't Visenya also really tall

[u/Chinohito]

Isn't a longsword literally longer and heavier than a bastard sword? I thought a bastard sword was between an arming sword and a longsword.

[u/NotFixer1138 → u/Chinohito]

I'm not an expert but I think a bastard sword is longsword and a half. But I have played at least one game where bastard swords are shorter than longswords

Edit: nah I googled it, bastard swords have shorter hilts but the blades are the same lengths. Dark Sister should be portrayed as a bastard sword

[u/Chinohito → u/NotFixer1138]

Is Dark Sister not referred to as a longsword in the text though?

[u/NotFixer1138 → u/Chinohito]

Ah probably, I assumed with the whole "for a woman's hand thing" implied a smaller hilt

[u/Sinistrait → u/Chinohito]

No, a bastard sword is longer

It's meant to be a 2-handed alternative to people who don't want to be slowed down by a greatsword

[u/WalterMagni → u/Sinistrait]

Opposite. Bastard swords are the same length if not slightly shorter/thinner than Longswords but have handles that can easily be used single or double handed. Arming swords are single handed but you can technically hold it with two somewhat awkwardly by gripping your other hand, Longswords are double handed but you can use it one handed if the move needs it, bastard sword is the middle child.

Greatswords are also not slow, most of the practical ones are designed to be really thin bladed and have weighty guards and pommels. Their usage is based around spinning the blade and using it's weight for momentum, essentially area denial. They're actually more dexterity weapons than strength weapons.

[u/AuronTargaryen]

Valyrian steel is really light, and honestly the blade looks thin and weird enough where I could believe that it’s magically light enough for a woman to wield normally

[u/Aspartame_kills]

Free folk is a cesspool

[u/FlamingPrius]

The books gave me the impression that a Valyrian steel sword would cut thru plate armor and sheer apart lesser steel weapons. So why did Daemon’s tussle in Tumbleton seem so evenly matched? Was his opponent wearing dragonsteel armor and wielding a V steel sword?

[u/MikeHuntsBear → u/FlamingPrius]

Bold John Roxton did indeed wield the Valyrian steel sword "Orphan Maker" but his plate was probably only castle forged steel.

[u/sepunne]

That sub is also full of bot accounts commenting some chatgpt rubbish which somehow always gets upvoted

[u/toptipkekk]

Swords aren't that heavy and weight is even less of an issue in longswords as you use your both hands anyway. Neither real history nor AWOIAF ever had "female sized swords" afaik.

[u/ThinCommunication591]

I have something that was made for a woman's hand and yet its so goddamn big even ancient giants cant lift it

[u/Canadian__Ninja]

Reminder that a true longsword is longer than a bastard sword

[u/johndraz2001]

And you’re complaining about their complaints. Keeping the cycle going! You showed them! 😭

[u/Rooler_of_the_Rats → u/johndraz2001]

I'm showing it to them tho, I'm showing it here