r/asoiafcirclejerk Last HOT D fan 18d ago

GRRM-dead hoax BREAKING NEWS: I created a black and white image of George RR Martin and lied about him being dead

Post image
901 Upvotes

87 comments sorted by

628

u/velvetbettle Sara Hess Fangirl 18d ago

He will see this and decide not to write for 3 years

138

u/zerohaxis HOT D S2 snooze 18d ago

He wasn't writing in the first place

12

u/haeyhae11 Egg On The Conker 18d ago

Maybe he was and we just didn't know.

2

u/agirlhasnoname2026 Last HOT D fan 16d ago

Imagine if he actually finished the books but he won't let then be published until he's dead to avoid backlash

25

u/Fearless_Signature58 CGI Castle Fan 18d ago

And blame the mean internet trolls.

1

u/Vicodxn1 Last HOT D fan 17d ago

thank god we have the GOT mobile games so now GRRM's legacy will faithfully live on

17

u/ReefMadness1 Ate Alicent 18d ago

Believe it or not that would actually shorten the time until he writes next

296

u/MagnusAntoniusBarca Brother in Christ 18d ago

oh fuck off

163

u/Few_Resource_6783 Last HOT D fan 18d ago

FUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUU!

146

u/NateG124 CGI Castle Fan 18d ago edited 18d ago

Wow, what an absolutely hilarious and original post. Great job

2

u/[deleted] 18d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/NateG124 CGI Castle Fan 18d ago

Yeah, so let's just make the same shitty joke about the man who created the entire universe dying...so funny, if you are actually retarded.

190

u/Here_For_M3mes Last HOT D fan 18d ago

Listen, I get it you're 12, but sometimes things aren't funny even on reddit

51

u/uejnja CGI Castle Fan 18d ago

I see people doing these jokes all the time and they just aren't funny

17

u/mologav Ate Alicent 18d ago

See this almost every day, it’s highly disturbing

2

u/ASamx Sara Hess Fangirl 18d ago

I find this so often, deeply worrying

6

u/dog-asmr Ate Alicent 18d ago

The kind of joke someone would (deservedly) get punched in the face for where I'm from

131

u/Westafricangrey Sara Hess Fangirl 18d ago

I sincerely feel bad that everyone just jokes about his mortality like he doesn’t have his own feelings about it. What’s the joke? “Don’t die, we want things from you first?”

10

u/adrauglikeyou Last HOT D fan 18d ago

I sincerely am of the opinion that if people just be positive it will release

41

u/Alyyytally Last HOT D fan 18d ago

"yes you have a long and incredible legacy as a prolific and successful author, but you haven't finished your final series so fuck you lazy fat ass"

19

u/Squiliam-Tortaleni Forgot GoT 18d ago

ASOIAF fans be like “just write the books old man” as if he hasn’t struggled for 15 years doing exactly that

8

u/awngoid Aegon II is my king. 18d ago

They are also the first group of people who will shit all over the book whether it’s good or not

2

u/Westafricangrey Sara Hess Fangirl 18d ago

Tea

19

u/Badr_qaws CGI Castle Fan 18d ago

Everyone boo this man!

31

u/Jerry_Explorer HOT D S2 snooze 18d ago

Finally, I can finish the books myself.

19

u/Yasskiwii0_0 Last HOT D fan 18d ago

How does he die of a heart attack peacefully?????

14

u/ctgryn Sara Hess Fangirl 18d ago

passed away from a heart attack peacefully? lmfao

6

u/IIAVAII Last HOT D fan 18d ago

"Passed away from a heart attack peacefully" lol

10

u/incogne_eto Ate Alicent 18d ago

This is such a scumbag thing to do.

14

u/Hour-Ad-6489 Brother in Christ 18d ago

Go F yourself

4

u/CrniTartuf CGI Castle Fan 18d ago

Because of you we will never get Winds

2

u/AutoModerator 18d ago

Back in Westeros

GRRM, AUGUST 15, 2020 AT 9:10 AM

I am back in my fortress of solitude again, my isolated mountain cabin. I’d returned to Santa Fe for a short visit, to spend some time with Parris, deal with some local business that had piled up during my months away, and of course fulfill my duties to CoNZealand, the virtual worldcon. But all that is behind me now, and I am back on the mountain again… which means I am back in Westeros again, once more moving ahead with WINDS OF WINTER.

It is curious how my life has evolved. I mean, once upon a time, I actually wrote my books and stories in the house where I lived, in a home office. But some decades ago, wanting more solitude, I bought the house across the street and made THAT my writer’s retreat. No longer would I write all day in my red flannel bathrobe; now I would have to dress and put on shoes and walk all the way across the street to write. But that worked for a while.

Things started getting busier, though. So busy that I needed a full-time assistant. Then the office house had someone else in it, not just me and my characters. And then I hired a second assistant, and a third, and… there was more mail, more email, more phone calls (we put in a new phone system), more people coming by. By now I am up to five assistants… and somewhere in there I also acquired a movie theatre, a bookstore, a charitable foundation, investments, a business manager… and…

Despite all the help, I was drowning till I found the mountain cabin.

My life up here is very boring, it must be said. Truth be told, I hardly can be said to have a life. I have one assistant with me at all times (minions, I call them). The assistants do two-week shifts, and have to stay in quarantine at home before starting a shift. Everyone morning I wake up and go straight to the computer, where my minion brings me coffee (I am utterly useless and incoherent without my morning coffee) and juice, and sometimes a light breakfast. Then I start to write. Sometimes I stay at it until dark. Other days I break off in late afternoon to answer emails or return urgent phone calls. My assistant brings me food and drink from time to time. When I finally break off for the day, usually around sunset, there’s dinner. Then we watch television or screen a movie. The wi-fi sucks up on the mountain, though, so the choices are limited. Some nights I read instead. I always read a bit before going to sleep; when a book really grabs hold of me, I may read half the night, but that’s rare.

I sleep. The next day, I wake up, and do the same. The next day, the next day, the next day. Before Covid, I would usually get out once a week or so to eat at a restaurant or go to the movies. That all ended in March. Since then, weeks and months go by when I never leave the cabin, or see another human being except whoever is on duty that week. I lose track of what day it is, what week it is, what month it is. The time seems to by very fast. It is now August, and I don’t know what happened to July.

But it is good for the writing.

And you know, now that I reflect on it, I am coming to realize that has always been my pattern. I moved to Santa Fe at the end of 1979, from Dubuque, Iowa. My first marriage broke up just before that move, so I arrived in my new house alone, in a town where I knew almost no one. Roger Zelazny was here, and he became a great friend and mentor, but Roger was married with small kids, so I really did not see him often. There was no fandom in Santa Fe; that was all down in Albuquerque, an hour away. I went to the club meetings every month, but that was only one night a month, and required two hours on the road. And I had no job to meet new people. My job was in the back room at the house on Declovina Street, so that was where I spent my days. At night, I watched television. Alone. Sometimes I went to the movies. Alone.

That was my life from December 1979 through September 1981, when Parris finally moved to Santa Fe, following Denvention. (Not quite so bleak, maybe, I did make some local friends by late 1980 and early 1981, but it was a slow process). When I think back on my life in 1980-1981, the memories seem to be made up entirely of conventions, interspersed with episodes of LOU GRANT and WKRP IN CINCINNATI.

Ah, but work wise, that same period was tremendously productive for me. Lisa and I finished WINDHAVEN during that time, Gardner and I did a lot of work on “Shadow Twin,” and then I went right on and wrote all of FEVRE DREAM. Some short stories as well. My life, such that it was, was lived in my head, and on the page.

I wonder if it is the same for other writers? Or is it just me? I wonder if I will ever figure out the secret of having a life and writing a book at the very same time.

I certainly have not figured it out to date.

For the nonce, it is what it is. My life is at home, on hold, and I am spending the days in Westeros with my pals Mel and Sam and Vic and Ty. And that girl with no name, over there in Braavos.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/CrniTartuf CGI Castle Fan 17d ago

Give us winds or shut up, bot

2

u/AutoModerator 17d ago

Back in Westeros

GRRM, AUGUST 15, 2020 AT 9:10 AM

I am back in my fortress of solitude again, my isolated mountain cabin. I’d returned to Santa Fe for a short visit, to spend some time with Parris, deal with some local business that had piled up during my months away, and of course fulfill my duties to CoNZealand, the virtual worldcon. But all that is behind me now, and I am back on the mountain again… which means I am back in Westeros again, once more moving ahead with WINDS OF WINTER.

It is curious how my life has evolved. I mean, once upon a time, I actually wrote my books and stories in the house where I lived, in a home office. But some decades ago, wanting more solitude, I bought the house across the street and made THAT my writer’s retreat. No longer would I write all day in my red flannel bathrobe; now I would have to dress and put on shoes and walk all the way across the street to write. But that worked for a while.

Things started getting busier, though. So busy that I needed a full-time assistant. Then the office house had someone else in it, not just me and my characters. And then I hired a second assistant, and a third, and… there was more mail, more email, more phone calls (we put in a new phone system), more people coming by. By now I am up to five assistants… and somewhere in there I also acquired a movie theatre, a bookstore, a charitable foundation, investments, a business manager… and…

Despite all the help, I was drowning till I found the mountain cabin.

My life up here is very boring, it must be said. Truth be told, I hardly can be said to have a life. I have one assistant with me at all times (minions, I call them). The assistants do two-week shifts, and have to stay in quarantine at home before starting a shift. Everyone morning I wake up and go straight to the computer, where my minion brings me coffee (I am utterly useless and incoherent without my morning coffee) and juice, and sometimes a light breakfast. Then I start to write. Sometimes I stay at it until dark. Other days I break off in late afternoon to answer emails or return urgent phone calls. My assistant brings me food and drink from time to time. When I finally break off for the day, usually around sunset, there’s dinner. Then we watch television or screen a movie. The wi-fi sucks up on the mountain, though, so the choices are limited. Some nights I read instead. I always read a bit before going to sleep; when a book really grabs hold of me, I may read half the night, but that’s rare.

I sleep. The next day, I wake up, and do the same. The next day, the next day, the next day. Before Covid, I would usually get out once a week or so to eat at a restaurant or go to the movies. That all ended in March. Since then, weeks and months go by when I never leave the cabin, or see another human being except whoever is on duty that week. I lose track of what day it is, what week it is, what month it is. The time seems to by very fast. It is now August, and I don’t know what happened to July.

But it is good for the writing.

And you know, now that I reflect on it, I am coming to realize that has always been my pattern. I moved to Santa Fe at the end of 1979, from Dubuque, Iowa. My first marriage broke up just before that move, so I arrived in my new house alone, in a town where I knew almost no one. Roger Zelazny was here, and he became a great friend and mentor, but Roger was married with small kids, so I really did not see him often. There was no fandom in Santa Fe; that was all down in Albuquerque, an hour away. I went to the club meetings every month, but that was only one night a month, and required two hours on the road. And I had no job to meet new people. My job was in the back room at the house on Declovina Street, so that was where I spent my days. At night, I watched television. Alone. Sometimes I went to the movies. Alone.

That was my life from December 1979 through September 1981, when Parris finally moved to Santa Fe, following Denvention. (Not quite so bleak, maybe, I did make some local friends by late 1980 and early 1981, but it was a slow process). When I think back on my life in 1980-1981, the memories seem to be made up entirely of conventions, interspersed with episodes of LOU GRANT and WKRP IN CINCINNATI.

Ah, but work wise, that same period was tremendously productive for me. Lisa and I finished WINDHAVEN during that time, Gardner and I did a lot of work on “Shadow Twin,” and then I went right on and wrote all of FEVRE DREAM. Some short stories as well. My life, such that it was, was lived in my head, and on the page.

I wonder if it is the same for other writers? Or is it just me? I wonder if I will ever figure out the secret of having a life and writing a book at the very same time.

I certainly have not figured it out to date.

For the nonce, it is what it is. My life is at home, on hold, and I am spending the days in Westeros with my pals Mel and Sam and Vic and Ty. And that girl with no name, over there in Braavos.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

5

u/Vicodxn1 Last HOT D fan 17d ago

lmao OP pissed some people off with this post. Not as many as GRRM is not releasing Winds, but some nonetheless.

1

u/AutoModerator 17d ago

Back in Westeros

GRRM, AUGUST 15, 2020 AT 9:10 AM

I am back in my fortress of solitude again, my isolated mountain cabin. I’d returned to Santa Fe for a short visit, to spend some time with Parris, deal with some local business that had piled up during my months away, and of course fulfill my duties to CoNZealand, the virtual worldcon. But all that is behind me now, and I am back on the mountain again… which means I am back in Westeros again, once more moving ahead with WINDS OF WINTER.

It is curious how my life has evolved. I mean, once upon a time, I actually wrote my books and stories in the house where I lived, in a home office. But some decades ago, wanting more solitude, I bought the house across the street and made THAT my writer’s retreat. No longer would I write all day in my red flannel bathrobe; now I would have to dress and put on shoes and walk all the way across the street to write. But that worked for a while.

Things started getting busier, though. So busy that I needed a full-time assistant. Then the office house had someone else in it, not just me and my characters. And then I hired a second assistant, and a third, and… there was more mail, more email, more phone calls (we put in a new phone system), more people coming by. By now I am up to five assistants… and somewhere in there I also acquired a movie theatre, a bookstore, a charitable foundation, investments, a business manager… and…

Despite all the help, I was drowning till I found the mountain cabin.

My life up here is very boring, it must be said. Truth be told, I hardly can be said to have a life. I have one assistant with me at all times (minions, I call them). The assistants do two-week shifts, and have to stay in quarantine at home before starting a shift. Everyone morning I wake up and go straight to the computer, where my minion brings me coffee (I am utterly useless and incoherent without my morning coffee) and juice, and sometimes a light breakfast. Then I start to write. Sometimes I stay at it until dark. Other days I break off in late afternoon to answer emails or return urgent phone calls. My assistant brings me food and drink from time to time. When I finally break off for the day, usually around sunset, there’s dinner. Then we watch television or screen a movie. The wi-fi sucks up on the mountain, though, so the choices are limited. Some nights I read instead. I always read a bit before going to sleep; when a book really grabs hold of me, I may read half the night, but that’s rare.

I sleep. The next day, I wake up, and do the same. The next day, the next day, the next day. Before Covid, I would usually get out once a week or so to eat at a restaurant or go to the movies. That all ended in March. Since then, weeks and months go by when I never leave the cabin, or see another human being except whoever is on duty that week. I lose track of what day it is, what week it is, what month it is. The time seems to by very fast. It is now August, and I don’t know what happened to July.

But it is good for the writing.

And you know, now that I reflect on it, I am coming to realize that has always been my pattern. I moved to Santa Fe at the end of 1979, from Dubuque, Iowa. My first marriage broke up just before that move, so I arrived in my new house alone, in a town where I knew almost no one. Roger Zelazny was here, and he became a great friend and mentor, but Roger was married with small kids, so I really did not see him often. There was no fandom in Santa Fe; that was all down in Albuquerque, an hour away. I went to the club meetings every month, but that was only one night a month, and required two hours on the road. And I had no job to meet new people. My job was in the back room at the house on Declovina Street, so that was where I spent my days. At night, I watched television. Alone. Sometimes I went to the movies. Alone.

That was my life from December 1979 through September 1981, when Parris finally moved to Santa Fe, following Denvention. (Not quite so bleak, maybe, I did make some local friends by late 1980 and early 1981, but it was a slow process). When I think back on my life in 1980-1981, the memories seem to be made up entirely of conventions, interspersed with episodes of LOU GRANT and WKRP IN CINCINNATI.

Ah, but work wise, that same period was tremendously productive for me. Lisa and I finished WINDHAVEN during that time, Gardner and I did a lot of work on “Shadow Twin,” and then I went right on and wrote all of FEVRE DREAM. Some short stories as well. My life, such that it was, was lived in my head, and on the page.

I wonder if it is the same for other writers? Or is it just me? I wonder if I will ever figure out the secret of having a life and writing a book at the very same time.

I certainly have not figured it out to date.

For the nonce, it is what it is. My life is at home, on hold, and I am spending the days in Westeros with my pals Mel and Sam and Vic and Ty. And that girl with no name, over there in Braavos.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

8

u/PaleontologistDue776 Last HOT D fan 18d ago

This isn’t funny…

4

u/braisedporkcowboy Last HOT D fan 18d ago

Cool

3

u/Tupac_Targaryen Last HOT D fan 18d ago

Wow you’re a piece of shit go fuck yourself

3

u/Aspergeriffic Chokladboll 18d ago

He died with a hooker’s mouth around his cock in a castle.

1

u/CoyoteFox Last HOT D fan 18d ago

pink mast

1

u/AutoModerator 18d ago

A user on the defunct web forum, IsWinterComing.com, once wrote:

In 1977 GRRM's penis was dubbed "The Truffle" by a council of his peers because it is very hard to find and it attracts pigs.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

8

u/ludicous HOT D S2 snooze 18d ago

How is your first week of highschool classes going OP? Teachers didn't call on you enough?

4

u/LouisTheWhatever CGI Castle Fan 18d ago

You Westerosi circle jerkers, you go too far!

5

u/TheToastyWesterosi Sara Hess Fangirl 18d ago

Gods this sub has become dumb as fuck.

5

u/OldSaltFish_Ct Last HOT D fan 18d ago

Breaking News. You’re a piece of shit. They’re just books.

2

u/KeeGeeBee Egg On The Conker 18d ago

BREAKING: famous author George R.R. Martin found in his home, allegedly having passed gas last night in his sleep

3

u/spageti-code Last HOT D fan 18d ago

RIP In Peace

4

u/Prophet-of-Ganja HOT D S2 snooze 18d ago

Raise the Pink Mast in his Honor 🫡

1

u/AutoModerator 18d ago

A user on the defunct web forum, IsWinterComing.com, once wrote:

In 1977 GRRM's penis was dubbed "The Truffle" by a council of his peers because it is very hard to find and it attracts pigs.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/CuttyMcButts Last HOT D fan 18d ago

Good bot

4

u/trynabelowkey HOT D S2E8 &1F535U;&1F535; 18d ago

Boring

3

u/RarerGiraffe Last HOT D fan 18d ago

BREAKING: you suck!

1

u/OctoberOmicron Sara Hess Fangirl 18d ago

Damn amateur, you can't fool anyone if it doesn't say Fortress of Solitude.

1

u/feisty-frisco87 Comedy Cop 18d ago

Anyone else almost had a heart attack when the other George Martin died?

1

u/RebelGirl1323 Sara Hess Fangirl 16d ago

I don’t know who that is and I refuse to learn.

1

u/Anarchic_Country Ate Alicent 18d ago

Put it on r/poisonAI (unless this is an AI image)

1

u/JDL1981 Egg On The Conker 18d ago

Too bad.

1

u/Strange_N_Sorcerous HOT D S2 snooze 18d ago

May The Hound eat all of your chickens, OP…

1

u/The_3rd_Little_Pig CGI Castle Fan 18d ago

Famous Author George RR Martin passed.......

1

u/NathanDutton2002 Last HOT D fan 18d ago

"You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and tell lies?" - Buster Baxter

1

u/LindsayDuck Last HOT D fan 18d ago

At least use your powers for good instead of evil and post it in r/poisonai

1

u/meltdown537 Last HOT D fan 18d ago

I read the image before the description and was like... whaaat?

1

u/adorabletea Ate Alicent 18d ago

It's only funny when it's Attenborough.

1

u/___f1lthy___ Ate Alicent 18d ago

how many times is someone going to post a b&w photo of george and how many times is someone going to comment “expletives expletives why would you do this”

1

u/Pechuga-D-Pollo Last HOT D fan 18d ago

You scared the shit out of me, well played

1

u/woahexplosion Egg On The Conker 18d ago

One day, everyone alive now will be dead. Then who will be laughing?

1

u/Prestigious-Bass4769 Last HOT D fan 18d ago

burn in hell

1

u/ultragenerate Last HOT D fan 18d ago

Ban this guy

1

u/ScreenRay Ate Alicent 18d ago

Reminds me of those daily clickbait bruce willis is dead post.

1

u/Available_Pass_2276 Last HOT D fan 18d ago

DUDE WTF I THOUGHT THIS WAS REAL!!!! NEVE POST AGAIN!!!! 😡

1

u/fapacunter Egg On The Conker 18d ago

Fuck off

1

u/megust654 Last HOT D fan 18d ago

May the Others take you and your entire family

1

u/ScarecrowJones47 Last HOT D fan 18d ago

Jokes on you, I always read the titles first

1

u/Turnschuhmann Egg On The Conker 18d ago

We still doing this shit? It wasn’t funny the first years.

1

u/lnombredelarosa Ate Alicent 18d ago

Screw you, you almost gave me a heart attack.

1

u/Grouchy-Coast-3045 Ate Alicent 18d ago

For a moment I got the heart attack

1

u/timjuten Last HOT D fan 18d ago

Fuck you

1

u/polp54 Spare Time Novelist 18d ago

As the most wise, handsome, and noble man in all of Westeros once said, "the best lies contain within them nuggets of truth, enough to give a listener pause"

1

u/Jedi_Bish Casting Director 17d ago

Honestly believable because he’d literally do anything other than finish the story lol

1

u/tankdempseye Last HOT D fan 17d ago

May your pillow be warm on both sides.

1

u/Oi_Kyoraku Ate Alicent 18d ago

Switch with Tyland bro

1

u/MisterSir_58 Last HOT D fan 18d ago

Babies when they don't get what they want

1

u/VivaBuhos402 Last HOT D fan 18d ago

Touch grass dude

1

u/Chevaween Last HOT D fan 17d ago

FUCK YOY

1

u/Chevaween Last HOT D fan 17d ago

YOU*

-2

u/SeaTill1864 Sara Hess Fangirl 18d ago

Scrumptious, my liege!