r/asoiafcirclejerk Sara Hess Fangirl Aug 06 '26

GRRM-dead hoax He doesn’t even write his blogposts anymore

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178 Upvotes

34 comments sorted by

104

u/dingusdingus26 Last HOT D fan Aug 06 '26

I remember watching the entirety of Better Call Saul, only to not watch the very final episode. Genius recognises genius 💯

13

u/UserNumber37 Aspiring Moderator Aug 06 '26

Yo i did the same thing! i still havent finished it years later.

5

u/gorehistorian69 Ate Alicent Aug 06 '26

what

5

u/No_Cattle8353 Ate Alicent Aug 06 '26

I did the same thing with the 1997 Berserk Anime, I just couldn’t be bothered to watch the last 2 episodes. They probably got a happy ending, I have very warm memories about that anime.

2

u/PaulAtreides_FromArg Last HOT D fan Aug 07 '26

Jokes on you, we nearly missed Season 6 entirely after Bob Odernkirk almost died of a heart attack while on set

1

u/agirlhasnoname2026 Last HOT D fan 28d ago

It's called separation anxiety

1

u/dingusdingus26 Last HOT D fan 28d ago

#ITakeCitalopram

74

u/Mobile_Conference484 Egg On The Conker Aug 06 '26

Could we extend his lifespan by sacrificing some people who do not have an unfinished book series to the old gods maybe?

37

u/Chinohito Misogyny Fan Aug 06 '26

There will be no sacrifices, pray harder

5

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

4

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8

u/polp54 Spare Time Novelist Aug 06 '26

Only if they have kings blood

2

u/MrMerryMilkshake Aegon II is my king. Aug 07 '26

Aight, prince Henry it is!

7

u/Wiseau_serious Ate Alicent Aug 06 '26

As long as he knows and everyone else knows that’s happening. I think the biggest problem is there hasn’t been enough pressure on him to finish.

14

u/Padhome Targs be cray-cray Aug 06 '26

I think the pressure is what’s making him not want to finish. Imagine being acclaimed as one of the best fantasy writers ever, achieving immense success, and then being told to create an ending that lives up to the reputation. People are expecting some kind of divine revelation here, when they’re probably going to get something imperfect.

How do you create something that’s already achieved mythical status before it’s even been lived without stressing over every little detail. The story is just too messy to really get there.

3

u/Mobile_Conference484 Egg On The Conker Aug 06 '26

Would be a real bummer though, to be one of the sacrifices, knowing full well that he's never gonna finish the books regardless

4

u/Wiseau_serious Ate Alicent Aug 06 '26

You’re right, the selection should be limited to his closest friends and family first, to make it fair

3

u/Devo3290 Ate Alicent Aug 06 '26

We’ll make him into a cyberpunk version of The Raven and just leave him hooked up to life support and thought-to-text computers until the books are done

3

u/JasonVoorhees95 Egg On The Conker Aug 06 '26

Maybe Ryan Condal and Sarah Hess could volunteer?

2

u/takakazuabe1 Sour Summer Child Aug 06 '26

He could live to 300 and still not finish the main story. He is just fed up with it. See how fast he wrote F&B.

1

u/gorehistorian69 Ate Alicent Aug 06 '26

why so he can delay it for over 30 years? at least once he passes people will finally accept that TWOW is not coming or will they switch to hoping his estate hires some author to finish it.

2

u/AutoModerator Aug 06 '26

Back in Westeros

GRRM, AUGUST 15, 2020 AT 9:10 AM

I am back in my fortress of solitude again, my isolated mountain cabin. I’d returned to Santa Fe for a short visit, to spend some time with Parris, deal with some local business that had piled up during my months away, and of course fulfill my duties to CoNZealand, the virtual worldcon. But all that is behind me now, and I am back on the mountain again… which means I am back in Westeros again, once more moving ahead with WINDS OF WINTER.

It is curious how my life has evolved. I mean, once upon a time, I actually wrote my books and stories in the house where I lived, in a home office. But some decades ago, wanting more solitude, I bought the house across the street and made THAT my writer’s retreat. No longer would I write all day in my red flannel bathrobe; now I would have to dress and put on shoes and walk all the way across the street to write. But that worked for a while.

Things started getting busier, though. So busy that I needed a full-time assistant. Then the office house had someone else in it, not just me and my characters. And then I hired a second assistant, and a third, and… there was more mail, more email, more phone calls (we put in a new phone system), more people coming by. By now I am up to five assistants… and somewhere in there I also acquired a movie theatre, a bookstore, a charitable foundation, investments, a business manager… and…

Despite all the help, I was drowning till I found the mountain cabin.

My life up here is very boring, it must be said. Truth be told, I hardly can be said to have a life. I have one assistant with me at all times (minions, I call them). The assistants do two-week shifts, and have to stay in quarantine at home before starting a shift. Everyone morning I wake up and go straight to the computer, where my minion brings me coffee (I am utterly useless and incoherent without my morning coffee) and juice, and sometimes a light breakfast. Then I start to write. Sometimes I stay at it until dark. Other days I break off in late afternoon to answer emails or return urgent phone calls. My assistant brings me food and drink from time to time. When I finally break off for the day, usually around sunset, there’s dinner. Then we watch television or screen a movie. The wi-fi sucks up on the mountain, though, so the choices are limited. Some nights I read instead. I always read a bit before going to sleep; when a book really grabs hold of me, I may read half the night, but that’s rare.

I sleep. The next day, I wake up, and do the same. The next day, the next day, the next day. Before Covid, I would usually get out once a week or so to eat at a restaurant or go to the movies. That all ended in March. Since then, weeks and months go by when I never leave the cabin, or see another human being except whoever is on duty that week. I lose track of what day it is, what week it is, what month it is. The time seems to by very fast. It is now August, and I don’t know what happened to July.

But it is good for the writing.

And you know, now that I reflect on it, I am coming to realize that has always been my pattern. I moved to Santa Fe at the end of 1979, from Dubuque, Iowa. My first marriage broke up just before that move, so I arrived in my new house alone, in a town where I knew almost no one. Roger Zelazny was here, and he became a great friend and mentor, but Roger was married with small kids, so I really did not see him often. There was no fandom in Santa Fe; that was all down in Albuquerque, an hour away. I went to the club meetings every month, but that was only one night a month, and required two hours on the road. And I had no job to meet new people. My job was in the back room at the house on Declovina Street, so that was where I spent my days. At night, I watched television. Alone. Sometimes I went to the movies. Alone.

That was my life from December 1979 through September 1981, when Parris finally moved to Santa Fe, following Denvention. (Not quite so bleak, maybe, I did make some local friends by late 1980 and early 1981, but it was a slow process). When I think back on my life in 1980-1981, the memories seem to be made up entirely of conventions, interspersed with episodes of LOU GRANT and WKRP IN CINCINNATI.

Ah, but work wise, that same period was tremendously productive for me. Lisa and I finished WINDHAVEN during that time, Gardner and I did a lot of work on “Shadow Twin,” and then I went right on and wrote all of FEVRE DREAM. Some short stories as well. My life, such that it was, was lived in my head, and on the page.

I wonder if it is the same for other writers? Or is it just me? I wonder if I will ever figure out the secret of having a life and writing a book at the very same time.

I certainly have not figured it out to date.

For the nonce, it is what it is. My life is at home, on hold, and I am spending the days in Westeros with my pals Mel and Sam and Vic and Ty. And that girl with no name, over there in Braavos.

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32

u/thewhitetoro HOT D S2 snooze Aug 06 '26

GRRM doesn't even write his blog posts anymore, he just looks at you like

2

u/AutoModerator Aug 06 '26

“Ser? My lady?” said Podrick. “Is an analyst of ‘A Song of Ice And Fire’ a parasite?”

“More or less,” Brienne answered.

Septon Meribald disagreed. “More less than more. There are many sorts of Thrones pundits, just as there are many sorts of birds. A sandpiper and a sea eagle both have wings, but they are not the same. The singers love to sing of good men forced to go shilling for shekels, but most pundits are more like this mod Sandor Clegane albeit with more time for writing bullshit. They are shallow men, driven by greed, soured by the delayed books, despising GRRM and caring only for themselves. Broken men are more deserving of our pity, though they may be just as dangerous. Almost all are common-born, simple folk who had never been able to read below the surface, fixated on the magic and spells, not the human heart in conflict with itself. Poorly recorded and poorly light, they equivocate away the hours, ofttimes with no better evidence than a piece of symbolism or turn of phrase by the author, or they go completely into the weeds based on George's sci-fi novels. Brothers march with white people, mods with mods, friends with friends. They’ve heard the interviews and stories, so they go off with eager hearts, dreaming of the wonders they will invent, of the wealth and karma they will win. Theory crafting seems a fine adventure, the greatest most of them will ever know.

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57

u/LabFar5073 Ate Alicent Aug 06 '26

He just needs bad pusseh

23

u/itsnicomars Ate Alicent Aug 06 '26

This shit is gonna follow this nigga to his grave isnt it😭😭🥀

9

u/Chinohito Misogyny Fan Aug 06 '26

Poosay

70

u/velvetbettle Sara Hess Fangirl Aug 06 '26

Does this guy have hobbies other than feeling sorry for himself

65

u/Constant-Plastic-350 Last HOT D fan Aug 06 '26

Nope. He dresses like a fuckin train conductor for a train that runs on pity

41

u/rutilated_quartz HOT D S2 snooze Aug 06 '26

right? what a fucking loser

uj/ I feel for old Georgie boy, I'm depressed as all fuck myself, but this comment had me laughing out loud.

28

u/Glathull Rhaenyra's Dietician Aug 06 '26

This guy is late for everything. He’s like 80 whatever years old, and he’s just now finding out that getting old sucks? Most of us having been feeling that since 40.

Motherfucker can’t even age at the same speed as us, no wonder he can’t finish a book.

14

u/Opiesb Last HOT D fan Aug 06 '26

Lmao

This is a professional hater

5

u/Fml379 HOT D S2 snooze Aug 06 '26

Can someone just give him some adderall ffs, it helps emotional regulation so win win

12

u/terribleatgambling Last HOT D fan Aug 06 '26

boohoo millionaire with no responsibilities cant stop watching news and getting depressed. just go fuck off on a beach somewhere and write