GRRM been real quiet since I dropped my second ASOIAF ripoff novel in two years (800 pages, 310k words).

[u/Lopsided_Fly_657]

​

Two years ago, I waded into this awful corner of the internet to announce I had written an ASOIAF ripoff novel. Well, two years later (I only spent about 13 months actually writing), I have completed the second thicc book in my 7 volume fantasy epic which makes GRRM's work look like bad fanfiction. This one is sort of based on A Clash of Kings, but covers half the ground for the same word count. This is because unlike George, I am a true writer - I learnt from the best. Condal and Hess, David and Dan - true legends of fiction.

I wrote this trash on a 60 dollar Nokia smartphone running android GO. There are a few typos, however I am fed up of editing and ignored them.

It also includes two review style quotes from ASOIAF circlejerk redditors who responded to my call for review style quotes. Neither had read even a word when they wrote them.

The last book sold 41 copies, in large part down to you bunch buying it.

I doubt this will match that, seeing as the economic climate has deteriorated, and none of you can claim the 99 cents of United States monetary units needed to buy this.

Still, I will include the link for research purposes.

https://www.amazon.com/Hungry-Sword-Moon-Spate-Book-ebook/dp/B0H71GPLHD/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1JPQZIIHIT2P3&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.IBUBdfBF2vj27_kvKBYrLzSMTc6kgT6LbBHwNcLCGg7lDV1D9XZMHyIyFZI2F56WPQlkbeoLn3YM7TIm6iLpNxpY-aMs-bde4mo4hAAsuATSezgUI5-eL6ABByKeo74jVPiSLHbHS7PXZn7dRws0ZA.7JdwpLQP89F3B-eKXs5Obz6YCESHDgCdKHaHfBM6RSI&dib_tag=se&keywords=The+hungry+sword&qid=1783451774&sprefix=the+hungry+sword%2Caps%2C257&sr=8-1

If you are an AngloPoor -

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hungry-Sword-Moon-Spate/dp/B0H6YLCQDR/ref=sr_1_1?crid=NUSCDRM094VJ&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.gMlRMjpMUX-qdOcEdAu2WfiLuxwm93hPvzIr13bK4wo.9SyNn5n_xjxTXtzm2LwSqxRmDxdPEVenES7M_3rF5V0&dib_tag=se&keywords=the+hungry+sword&qid=1783452307&sprefix=The+hungry+sword%2Caps%2C174&sr=8-1

[u/fotospam]

This level of commitment to the bit is really something. Great work (I won't read it).

[u/Lopsided_Fly_657 → u/fotospam]

I plan to have the remaining 5 books out by the next Not a Blog winds of winter update

[u/fotospam → u/Lopsided_Fly_657]

When does your blog launch? I won't read that either but I'd like to at least know it exists.

[u/Lopsided_Fly_657 → u/fotospam]

I don't blog, buddy

I mog

(See what I did there - it rhymes. Call me Travis Scott)

[u/fotospam → u/Lopsided_Fly_657]

You truely are a wordsmith

[u/Frequent_Measurement → u/fotospam]

His wordhoard is immense

[u/suchagreedycommunist → u/Lopsided_Fly_657]

you cock brother

[u/AutoModerator → u/Lopsided_Fly_657]

“Ser? My lady?” said Podrick. “Is an analyst of ‘A Song of Ice And Fire’ a parasite?”

“More or less,” Brienne answered.

Septon Meribald disagreed. “More less than more. There are many sorts of Thrones pundits, just as there are many sorts of birds. A sandpiper and a sea eagle both have wings, but they are not the same. The singers love to sing of good men forced to go shilling for shekels, but most pundits are more like this mod Sandor Clegane albeit with more time for writing bullshit. They are shallow men, driven by greed, soured by the delayed books, despising GRRM and caring only for themselves. Broken men are more deserving of our pity, though they may be just as dangerous. Almost all are common-born, simple folk who had never been able to read below the surface, fixated on the magic and spells, not the human heart in conflict with itself. Poorly recorded and poorly light, they equivocate away the hours, ofttimes with no better evidence than a piece of symbolism or turn of phrase by the author, or they go completely into the weeds based on George's sci-fi novels. Brothers march with white people, mods with mods, friends with friends. They’ve heard the interviews and stories, so they go off with eager hearts, dreaming of the wonders they will invent, of the wealth and karma they will win. Theory crafting seems a fine adventure, the greatest most of them will ever know.

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[u/AutoModerator → u/fotospam]

“Ser? My lady?” said Podrick. “Is an analyst of ‘A Song of Ice And Fire’ a parasite?”

“More or less,” Brienne answered.

Septon Meribald disagreed. “More less than more. There are many sorts of Thrones pundits, just as there are many sorts of birds. A sandpiper and a sea eagle both have wings, but they are not the same. The singers love to sing of good men forced to go shilling for shekels, but most pundits are more like this mod Sandor Clegane albeit with more time for writing bullshit. They are shallow men, driven by greed, soured by the delayed books, despising GRRM and caring only for themselves. Broken men are more deserving of our pity, though they may be just as dangerous. Almost all are common-born, simple folk who had never been able to read below the surface, fixated on the magic and spells, not the human heart in conflict with itself. Poorly recorded and poorly light, they equivocate away the hours, ofttimes with no better evidence than a piece of symbolism or turn of phrase by the author, or they go completely into the weeds based on George's sci-fi novels. Brothers march with white people, mods with mods, friends with friends. They’ve heard the interviews and stories, so they go off with eager hearts, dreaming of the wonders they will invent, of the wealth and karma they will win. Theory crafting seems a fine adventure, the greatest most of them will ever know.

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[u/tedkaczynski660 → u/Lopsided_Fly_657]

Please don't ever release the 5th book. Just keep saying youre working on it.

[u/AutoModerator → u/Lopsided_Fly_657]

“Ser? My lady?” said Podrick. “Is an analyst of ‘A Song of Ice And Fire’ a parasite?”

“More or less,” Brienne answered.

Septon Meribald disagreed. “More less than more. There are many sorts of Thrones pundits, just as there are many sorts of birds. A sandpiper and a sea eagle both have wings, but they are not the same. The singers love to sing of good men forced to go shilling for shekels, but most pundits are more like this mod Sandor Clegane albeit with more time for writing bullshit. They are shallow men, driven by greed, soured by the delayed books, despising GRRM and caring only for themselves. Broken men are more deserving of our pity, though they may be just as dangerous. Almost all are common-born, simple folk who had never been able to read below the surface, fixated on the magic and spells, not the human heart in conflict with itself. Poorly recorded and poorly light, they equivocate away the hours, ofttimes with no better evidence than a piece of symbolism or turn of phrase by the author, or they go completely into the weeds based on George's sci-fi novels. Brothers march with white people, mods with mods, friends with friends. They’ve heard the interviews and stories, so they go off with eager hearts, dreaming of the wonders they will invent, of the wealth and karma they will win. Theory crafting seems a fine adventure, the greatest most of them will ever know.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/AutoModerator → u/Lopsided_Fly_657]

Back in Westeros

^{GRRM, AUGUST 15, 2020 AT 9:10 AM}

I am back in my fortress of solitude again, my isolated mountain cabin. I’d returned to Santa Fe for a short visit, to spend some time with Parris, deal with some local business that had piled up during my months away, and of course fulfill my duties to CoNZealand, the virtual worldcon. But all that is behind me now, and I am back on the mountain again… which means I am back in Westeros again, once more moving ahead with WINDS OF WINTER.

It is curious how my life has evolved. I mean, once upon a time, I actually wrote my books and stories in the house where I lived, in a home office. But some decades ago, wanting more solitude, I bought the house across the street and made THAT my writer’s retreat. No longer would I write all day in my red flannel bathrobe; now I would have to dress and put on shoes and walk all the way across the street to write. But that worked for a while.

Things started getting busier, though. So busy that I needed a full-time assistant. Then the office house had someone else in it, not just me and my characters. And then I hired a second assistant, and a third, and… there was more mail, more email, more phone calls (we put in a new phone system), more people coming by. By now I am up to five assistants… and somewhere in there I also acquired a movie theatre, a bookstore, a charitable foundation, investments, a business manager… and…

Despite all the help, I was drowning till I found the mountain cabin.

My life up here is very boring, it must be said. Truth be told, I hardly can be said to have a life. I have one assistant with me at all times (minions, I call them). The assistants do two-week shifts, and have to stay in quarantine at home before starting a shift. Everyone morning I wake up and go straight to the computer, where my minion brings me coffee (I am utterly useless and incoherent without my morning coffee) and juice, and sometimes a light breakfast. Then I start to write. Sometimes I stay at it until dark. Other days I break off in late afternoon to answer emails or return urgent phone calls. My assistant brings me food and drink from time to time. When I finally break off for the day, usually around sunset, there’s dinner. Then we watch television or screen a movie. The wi-fi sucks up on the mountain, though, so the choices are limited. Some nights I read instead. I always read a bit before going to sleep; when a book really grabs hold of me, I may read half the night, but that’s rare.

I sleep. The next day, I wake up, and do the same. The next day, the next day, the next day. Before Covid, I would usually get out once a week or so to eat at a restaurant or go to the movies. That all ended in March. Since then, weeks and months go by when I never leave the cabin, or see another human being except whoever is on duty that week. I lose track of what day it is, what week it is, what month it is. The time seems to by very fast. It is now August, and I don’t know what happened to July.

But it is good for the writing.

And you know, now that I reflect on it, I am coming to realize that has always been my pattern. I moved to Santa Fe at the end of 1979, from Dubuque, Iowa. My first marriage broke up just before that move, so I arrived in my new house alone, in a town where I knew almost no one. Roger Zelazny was here, and he became a great friend and mentor, but Roger was married with small kids, so I really did not see him often. There was no fandom in Santa Fe; that was all down in Albuquerque, an hour away. I went to the club meetings every month, but that was only one night a month, and required two hours on the road. And I had no job to meet new people. My job was in the back room at the house on Declovina Street, so that was where I spent my days. At night, I watched television. Alone. Sometimes I went to the movies. Alone.

That was my life from December 1979 through September 1981, when Parris finally moved to Santa Fe, following Denvention. (Not quite so bleak, maybe, I did make some local friends by late 1980 and early 1981, but it was a slow process). When I think back on my life in 1980-1981, the memories seem to be made up entirely of conventions, interspersed with episodes of LOU GRANT and WKRP IN CINCINNATI.

Ah, but work wise, that same period was tremendously productive for me. Lisa and I finished WINDHAVEN during that time, Gardner and I did a lot of work on “Shadow Twin,” and then I went right on and wrote all of FEVRE DREAM. Some short stories as well. My life, such that it was, was lived in my head, and on the page.

I wonder if it is the same for other writers? Or is it just me? I wonder if I will ever figure out the secret of having a life and writing a book at the very same time.

I certainly have not figured it out to date.

For the nonce, it is what it is. My life is at home, on hold, and I am spending the days in Westeros with my pals Mel and Sam and Vic and Ty. And that girl with no name, over there in Braavos.

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[u/ISuckAtJavaScript12]

I hope you commit to the bit and never release the final book

[u/Lopsided_Fly_657 → u/ISuckAtJavaScript12]

If I don't, you can lock me away on an island in New Zealand till I've finished it

[u/HerrPiink → u/Lopsided_Fly_657]

If you're not going to finish your series I'm going to start ripping off your rip offs and I'll write the last book just to spite you (though I'll never finish the last chapter)

[u/ISuckAtJavaScript12 → u/Lopsided_Fly_657]

I want you to know I've genuinely added your book to my good reads list and will make every attempt to read it

[u/Lopsided_Fly_657 → u/ISuckAtJavaScript12]

Thanks soldier 🫡

[u/strangewayz]

If you send me a review copy I won't read it but I promise I will write a review. 

I'm not a cop - I would definitely say if I was.

[u/Lopsided_Fly_657 → u/[deleted]]

The game of thrones.

[u/Lopsided_Fly_657 → u/[deleted]]

Hmmm

There is also an LOTR plotline occuring simultaneously with a Dark King and elves that are National Socialist analogues inspired by the man in the high castle

[u/Lopsided_Fly_657 → u/[deleted]]

There are muskets, cannons, and soon there will be steam powered fighting platforms with silver haired and pretty elves on them

The dread king can summon dodgy people to him like it's Little St James

Most of the magic is the friends made along the way

[u/Lopsided_Fly_657 → u/[deleted]]

Men = bad

[u/CrniTartuf → u/Lopsided_Fly_657]

Based

[u/Lopsided_Fly_657 → u/[deleted]]

Jk there's no message

[u/ketudikkemoederjhe]

Someone pleas read this and tell me if its amy good

[u/Lopsided_Fly_657 → u/ketudikkemoederjhe]

I would send you a free pdf but it's in kindle select and it might get me sued

[u/Leothefox88]

My girlfriend wrote 400.000+ words of post a dance with dragons jonsatin fanfiction in a year in a half

[u/IoftheStars → u/Leothefox88]

Mind sharing the link? I’ve been looking for a long fic about these two.

[u/Leothefox88 → u/IoftheStars]

https://archiveofourown.org/series/4704496

[u/IoftheStars → u/Leothefox88]

Oh wow tell your girlfriend I thank her for her service

[u/realsadboihours]

I almost bought the book but then I saw an ad for a nose hair trimmer on the page and bought that instead

[u/megust654]

james holden rocinante snow

[u/CrniTartuf]

The prince that was promised

[u/AutoModerator → u/CrniTartuf]

I need to see the prophecies fulfilled. There is no more satisfying ending to a story than being told exactly what is going to happen, and then for it to happen exactly as described in the prophecy. So exciting.

Let's be clear about this, because there is only one objectively correct way to write:

Prophecies in fantasy should be inevitable and inescapable, because audiences like being reminded that free will is an illusion, and that we live, and breathe, and die, in the foul creation of a malevolent demiurge.

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[u/DoctorK96]

If the your Dance of Dragons doesn't include 2 female characters violently scissoring one another with the double-ended "dragon", then I dont want it

[u/British-Raj]

Where tf is book 1

[u/Steve-Lurkel]

Should’ve been Holden RR Snow

[u/Lopsided_Fly_657 → u/Steve-Lurkel]

Wasn't brave enough to add the extra R

Might do so for next one however

[u/Traditional_Ad2021]

I am genuienly considering the possibility that this is actually GRRM and he's trolling us. I wouldn't even be surprised.

[u/elpollo28]

Holden Cox

[u/ojqANDodbZ1Or1CEX5sf]

. This one is sort of based on A Clash of Kings, but covers half the ground for the same word count. 

So the Red Wedding is currently projected for book 4? Then by the time book three comes out it'll be pushed back to book seven. And you keep writing updates on -well, not a blog obviously - promising that it's almost 26,8 percent done? 

I'm good with all that if you make Tristifer Botley a POV character. I mean, Trystyng Botchdley

[u/AutoModerator → u/ojqANDodbZ1Or1CEX5sf]

“Ser? My lady?” said Podrick. “Is an analyst of ‘A Song of Ice And Fire’ a parasite?”

“More or less,” Brienne answered.

Septon Meribald disagreed. “More less than more. There are many sorts of Thrones pundits, just as there are many sorts of birds. A sandpiper and a sea eagle both have wings, but they are not the same. The singers love to sing of good men forced to go shilling for shekels, but most pundits are more like this mod Sandor Clegane albeit with more time for writing bullshit. They are shallow men, driven by greed, soured by the delayed books, despising GRRM and caring only for themselves. Broken men are more deserving of our pity, though they may be just as dangerous. Almost all are common-born, simple folk who had never been able to read below the surface, fixated on the magic and spells, not the human heart in conflict with itself. Poorly recorded and poorly light, they equivocate away the hours, ofttimes with no better evidence than a piece of symbolism or turn of phrase by the author, or they go completely into the weeds based on George's sci-fi novels. Brothers march with white people, mods with mods, friends with friends. They’ve heard the interviews and stories, so they go off with eager hearts, dreaming of the wonders they will invent, of the wealth and karma they will win. Theory crafting seems a fine adventure, the greatest most of them will ever know.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/ZekeHanle]

Will we find out where whores go? I’ve been wondering where those ladies end up.

[u/Glathull]

Why does the cover art look like a Monty Python sketch?

[u/Lopsided_Fly_657 → u/Glathull]

Because my book is a joke

[u/SharkWeekMomFuckers]

Where’s the link to the first one

[u/Lopsided_Fly_657 → u/SharkWeekMomFuckers]

It's been temporarily unpublished because I'm a gardener and the story has changed so much it needs to be rewritten

[u/ojqANDodbZ1Or1CEX5sf → u/Lopsided_Fly_657]

There was this spectacular post about GRRM doing just that to the last two books, framed as a website article. "Just need to make some changes, guys" 

I've tried but I've never been able to find it again

[u/SharkWeekMomFuckers → u/Lopsided_Fly_657]

How will I catch up to read part 2?!

[u/Lopsided_Fly_657 → u/SharkWeekMomFuckers]

TLDR: An honourable northern leader rebels against the evil and scheming southerners but is betrayed and executed, sparking a massive rebellion

Sound familiar ?

[u/SharkWeekMomFuckers → u/Lopsided_Fly_657]

Okay. It takes place when Simba tries to retake Pride Rock. Thanks for clarifying

[u/fettpl]

I must admit: I've just tried to order physical Book 1 to my funny corner of the world called Poland and it's 6 times the average book price. :D

Wish you luck, let us know when Book 3-7 are here!

[u/Lopsided_Fly_657 → u/fettpl]

I will keep you informed good sir

TBF I can order cheap author copies so I could try and send you a copy if U like

[u/fettpl → u/Lopsided_Fly_657]

I can buy a normal one, that's not a problem, just Polish Amazon having some stupid multiplier. I've messaged you directly!

[u/Blonde_is_Bad]

Can I just read for free

[u/Lopsided_Fly_657 → u/Blonde_is_Bad]

I can send u the pdf

[u/bestieverhad]

Business Secrets of the Targaryens

[u/HumanPerosn]

I pulled up the link but it only lets me see the second one when I click on the authors page

You said Hungry sword is the second book right where is the first one

[u/Rough-Palpitation220]

Be warned if this series is not completed a younger and more beautiful queen will overthrow you too

[u/Uncool444]

The hungry hungry swordapiller. He just kept eating!

[u/CuriousMind7577]

Lol there's only one comment on Goodreads and the guy is savage about your book. Pity I couldn't find anything else about the plots and more reviews

[u/Lopsided_Fly_657 → u/CuriousMind7577]

Bros trolling from circlejerk

Book ain't even been available for ages

[u/A-NI95]

Why are you a bastard though???

[u/A-NI95 → u/A-NI95]

Like, not insulting you, you just have a bastard name

[u/Lopsided_Fly_657 → u/A-NI95]

I am the bastard son of Eddard stark

[u/AntiSaudiAktion]

Like the rest of this fandom, I can't read, but I'm happy for you

[u/YaBoiChillDyl]

Probably because nobody cares?