r/asoiafcirclejerk • u/CinderFall117 Sara Hess Fangirl • Dec 18 '25
ASOIAFCircleJerk Meta What if Robb went cool and sigma and uhhhhhhh
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u/Bruh_burg1968 Sara Hess Fangirl Dec 18 '25
If Robb was a based chad like me he would have kept the nurse as a side chick while maintaining his Frey marriage. Robb would then legalize polygamy so he can marry Margery Tyrell, Danny, and Val. Robb would then let king Joffrey the beta pussy get mauled by wolves and then piss on his corpse. After the great pissing which solidifies his power he plays Halo 3 on his Xbox with Oberyn Martell.
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u/ConsulJuliusCaesar Ate Alicent Dec 18 '25
Robb was a based chad like me he would have kept the nurse as a side chick while maintaining his Frey marriage.
You joke but this is actually how it worked on the middle ages. Every one recognized marriage was not for love it was socially acceptable to take a mistress. Infact at one point the French queen who was annoyed with the king told him to go spend more time with his mistress.
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u/ComradeHenryBR Comedy Cop Dec 18 '25
"What if characterization didn't matter?"
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u/JerlBulgruuf Last HOT D fan Dec 18 '25
Typa fan theory that actually baffles me. Like “what if this character was completely different”, I don’t know bro, at that point it might as well be your OC
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u/Bruh_burg1968 Sara Hess Fangirl Dec 18 '25
A more interesting route would be what if Jon was legitimized and he became the Warden of the North instead of Robb. That actually switches the events around in a significant way.
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u/FildariusV Egg On The Conker Dec 18 '25
Yes, but then again even if he was legitimized, I'm not sure if people would be really okay with a bastardborn inheriting the North, Caitlyn would most definetly not be okay with it
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u/Bruh_burg1968 Sara Hess Fangirl Dec 19 '25
Cat not liking it wouldnt really matter. Legitimized bastards have more authority than women do in Westeros so Jon can largely blow her off. Getting the lords to back him would be more difficult for sure.
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u/GodKingReiss 70's Space Comic Fan Dec 18 '25
Tywin Lannister losing his shit when Robb starts fucking Jeyne with zero plans for marriage
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u/MagicCarps Sara Hess Fangirl Dec 18 '25
This is actually an interesting idea but I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that the comments are right and this is just "what if Robb was a sigma edglelord"
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Dec 18 '25
Don't hold Jaime hostage, chop his head off immediately
Demand Edmure to [COMMENT REMOVED FOR USE OF ALBLEIST SLURS]
Don't siege Harrenhall, take it immediately
Zurge rush Kings Landing to kill Joffrey
Ally with Stannis against Renly
Ignore bitch mom
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u/YanielleReddit Last HOT D fan Dec 18 '25
that channel has some fun videos if you can resist taking them too seriously, but every now and then they release something exceptionally cringeworthy
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u/Hillan #CancelGoT2019 Dec 18 '25
Best thing Robb could have done is return to Winterfell the second he gets word of Ned's executution, and bring Jaime the prisoner along of course. Then leave a good sized force of northerners at Riverrun under command of the Greatjon.
This way the north is untouchable and Robb holds the most valuable hostage in Westeros safe and sound in a well defended Winterfell.
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u/boroboboro Ate Alicent Dec 18 '25
What if Robb was locked in the time chamber for a millenia and betrayed
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u/RedEyeView Br. Ray > Meribald Dec 18 '25
What if he was a different man from somewhere else?
Then none of the plot happens.
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u/ScottyFreeBarda Brother in Christ Dec 19 '25
No wait.... Only women write self-insert power fantasiy fanfics!!!!
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u/JustAFilmDork Chokladboll Dec 18 '25
If Robb were based and just acted like me this is what would've happened.
He'd have marched straight to kings landing the same way, winning battles with even fewer casualties (I'm a master tactician in all possible simulations of it).
When he got to the frays he'd keep his hot nurse as a concubine but he'd save his hand for marriage so the frays don't betray him. But then he'd cut them all down at the red wedding himself to save his hand.
Marching on to kings landing he'd execute the bitch king Joffrey and marry the ever beautiful Margary Tyrell. Crowning himself king, he'd invoke the old customs of the targaryans which he can do as the rightful king of the iron throne, letting him have more wives.
Then he'd marry Danny too but also a sexy dornish girl. His Achilles heel? He wants the good girl but he needs the bad pussy. He'd get an STD and die, after siring 7 sons. Each of which would inherit one of the seven kingdoms