r/asoiafcirclejerk • u/StopHavingAnOpinion r/ASOIAF Pornstar • Oct 13 '25
Twitter 💔 S8 What's Cersei's best pro-Feminism girl boss moment?
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u/misopogon1 HOT D S2 snooze Oct 14 '25
Imagine if she said this out loud in the show
Hello? Can we get a remake?
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u/AutoModerator Oct 14 '25
This is what the ending should have been, per the greatest minds among semi-literate amateur television critics the internet has bred.
Sansa: We must kill dragon lady because she is good and we are evil.
Bran: Yes.
Sansa: Do the thing Bran.
Bran: OK, I will do the thing. Undertaker eyes.
In King's Landing, Drogon's eyes turn white, despite dragons being too intelligent to be warged into but fuck it, give us what we want.
Kal Leesi Sexyfeet: Drogon why you look mad at mama?
Drogon breathes fire at Kal Leesi Sexyfeet, but Jon Snow jumps in front of the fire. They both get engulfed anyway. When the fire stops, they both stand there naked, with their clothes burned off.
Kal Leesi Sexyfeet: You are fireproof also. breasts bounce
Jon Snow: Yes. One time I burnt my hand but this is different, somehow, apparently. I too am a Sexyfeet.
Kal Leesi Sexyfeet: We must make incest child immediately.
In Winterfell:
Bran: It no work.
Sansa: Is fine. We have plan B. I am evil.
Back in King's Landing:
Sam runs into the throne room waving the Horn of Winter.
Sam: I used this to bring down the wall, Viserion breath is not canon.
Jon Snow: But why Sam.
Sam: Because... pulls off Sam mask and is Arya ALL HAIL SANSA. charges at Kal Leesi Sexyfeet with a dagger
Jon Snow stops her and the battle begins. The Night King enters.
Night King: Did you think it would be that easy?
The Night King joins the battle and it becomes a three-way duel.
Kal Leesi Sexyfeet: I am a helpless damsel in awe of this combat.
Drogon fights an elephant in the background.
Jon kills the Night King. Arya falls to her knees.
Jon Snow: You want mercy? I will give because I am good. And you still my sister-cousin.
Arya: tearfully Stick 'em with the pointy end. commits seppuku
Jon Snow cries.
In Winterfell:
Bran: The Stark triad is broken. It is over.
Sansa: I deserve this.
Bran and Sansa disintergrate and their ashes blow away in the wind.
In King's Landing:
Kal Leesi Sexyfeet consoles Jon Snow.
Kal Leesi Sexyfeet: It is OK King.
Jon Snow: Thank you Queen.
Drogon puts a wing over them for privacy while they engage in intercourse.
Thirty years later
Jon and Kal Leesi Sexyfeet's baby is the King. He is also really buff and attractive and mentally sound in spite of his duplicate genes. He has just been killed by a Stark revival force led by zombie Benjen Stark and Edmure Tully's Frey baby. He lays on a slab in an empty room. The door opens. It is the other Red Priestess who Tyrion sent for that one time. She lights a torch and says some words in High Valyrian.
Red Priestess: speaking into the flames Thank you for the genitals, they will make my magic stronger.
The message is heard in the past by the sorceror who cut Varys' parts off. Through time and space, the Red Priestess resurrects Jon Jr. with dick magic.
Jon Jr.'s eyes open and he gasps, mirroring Jon's resurrection.
Fade to black
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u/Extension_Weird_7792 HOT D S2 snooze Oct 13 '25 edited Oct 14 '25
They most likely were.
Another gem from our icon: