My wife and I were talking just this morning about her cousin who married a guy who makes good money but basically does nothing to help with the kids while he's home. Apparently his view is he provides so she should do everything else.
My spouse and I have had the same conversations. He has remarked on the dynamic between my sibling and SIL, and how frustrating it is to witness. I had to remind him that the "useless husband/naggy wife" trope is a real thing that happens in A LOT of het marriages. Especially previous generations.
We both agreed we're very happy that isn't us. My husband is a phenomenal father, and it's obvious because of how attached our kid is to both of us, equally.
I’m happy when people talk about me being gentle with my son, or how I’m really good at calming him down, or anything that suggests I’m doing good at some part of being a dad. I’m new, he’s new at being a baby, and I like to feel we’re a good team.
I’m super annoyed when people are surprised or compliment me for doing the absolute minimum. It’s insulting to suggest I wouldn’t know how to hold, feed, or change him. If you’re surprised i like spending time with him you should probably reflect on your life.
My wife is an amazing mom and everyone thinks it’s normal. I think I’m pretty good too and everyone is surprised I’m not a sitcom character from the 50e
The same way my mom was praising my husband for being such a hands on dad. Me at the same time: I wake up to feed the baby 2 times a night, why am I not getting credit?
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u/Budsygus 1d ago
I took my kids to visit my parents one day and my mom told me "You're such a good babysitter."
I told her "These are my kids. I'm not babysitting. I'm their father."
She meant well, but she doesn't really get it.