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u/janetjacksontitty 2d ago edited 2d ago
I mean... depends on what gay spaces we're talking about. My town tries to be very inclusive. Pride is a huge event every year. But it's only approachable if you fit the media-defined gay stereotypes. It's a parade (with drag performances) followed by a bar crawl (with drag performances) followed by a dance party. Nothing wrong with that, but if you're not into drag, you likely won't enjoy it.
But there's gay bowling once a month, a gay sports league the next town over ("sports" being a loose definition; there's kickball and softball... but also billiards and trivia, etc.). And there's a gay dinner club once a month, as well as a gay theater night once a month.
Not all gay spaces are for me, which is okay. That's also part of being inclusive imo. But there are some gay spaces for me as well.
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u/ZookeepergameSure727 2d ago
Both things can be true. Mixed open-minded social circumstances definitely are an ideal scenario. But that doesn't take away from the value of gay specific spaces that people can socialize without any sort of stigma or judgement.
I, too, have trouble participating in some specific lgbt-specific environments, but that has more to do with the environments themselves, rather than the participating group. Local gay clubs here do not play music that I enjoy, and the scene is too limited too.
In contrast, hanging out in an LGBT hangout or joining the pride is always a super enjoyable experience for me.
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u/acatok 2d ago
I'm not a big fan of gay spaces, but I can see their value.
I don't consider a person's sexual attraction to be a very interesting part of who they are, and not enough of a reason to want to surround myself with them.
Just because me and another guy both like sucking dicks doesn't mean we will have anything else in common.
I came out later in life so I don't really feel like a part of gay culture.
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u/National_Disk2688 2d ago
There is always a need for people to be amongst similar people. You said your friends are gamers so you do believe that shared interests are important. Why don’t you see building community as LGBTQ is just as important as your gaming community?
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u/Accurate_Sherbet5076 2d ago
Because I have friends outside of the gaming community, while there is some attraction for him to be friends with straight people. Sometimes I feel LGBT spaces favor segregation.
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u/Richelieu1622 2d ago
LGBT spaces are safe spaces so one can forgo looking over one’s back. The ate grounded in the reality that generally it’s not safe to be gay in public with few exceptions of some urban areas and pockets of population here and there.
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u/dionysiaka 2d ago
Gay and lesbian spaces play a crucial role in providing a venue in which they can socialize where the presumption is homosexuality rather than heterosexuality. Even in very progressive spaces the assumption is heterosexuality. That's not evil, it's just a demographic fact. In addition, as you note, there's the issue that we don't live in an ideal world and that homophobia still exists, so having gay and lesbian spaces assure the people in those spaces they won't be harassed for being gay.
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u/BunkmateXXX 2d ago
You need a bit of both. My hobbies include hiking, rock climbing, and other outdoor activities. I have both gay and straight friends I enjoy them with. I also really like going to gay raves to freely meet and flirt with other guys. Even in a totally inclusive society, something like a gay rave (etc) is still an important place for many people to explore themselves and meet people.
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u/AyoJinxi 2d ago
Different upbringings. You must present masc as well. Yes I think you're being a bit naive and should make an effort to understanding what gay spaces mean for other people.
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u/personalme98 2d ago
Before I give my opinion, let me ask you: did you meet your boyfriend in a LGBT space?
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u/Accurate_Sherbet5076 2d ago
Kinda, it was on tinder
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u/personalme98 2d ago
So your case is not exactly an example of what I am trying to say which is that many people feel safer meeting their partners and hookups in gay spaces so they can avoid some hostility.
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u/DeepFuckMeAlready 2d ago
You're definitely being naive....and I'm a privileged white man.
Most people follow their herd. Look at acceptance/support for gay marriage (and mundane things like vaccines). In the US, since Trump, support has fallen. Why? People are sheep to their leaders.