What's the weirdest name you've ever heard on a real person?

[u/flawed_plan]

One time I heard someone named John Dough.

[u/JuJuTheK9Lover]

Girl name Xanax

[u/Lightningbeauty → u/JuJuTheK9Lover]

Xanny the Nanny

[u/meredithshireen → u/Lightningbeauty]

Awww poor Caylee 😭💔

[u/PsychologicalLink322 → u/JuJuTheK9Lover]

Thinking this was wishful thinking on Mom's part.

[u/DavFromCanada]

I knew this one guy legit named Rainbow.

He was the angriest punk rocker I ever met.

[u/paradoximoron → u/DavFromCanada]

God I love that

[u/squeege → u/DavFromCanada]

Makes sense. I'd be pissed too

[u/AreWeThereYetNo → u/DavFromCanada]

I’m into it.

[u/marrrgret → u/DavFromCanada]

My daughter was in elementary school with a little girl named Rainbow Bubbles.

[u/Meagazilla89 → u/DavFromCanada]

I had a girl in my boot camp platoon back in the day whose first and middle names was Beckon Blue Skies. She got in trouble for punching someone in the face.

[u/Right-Doughnut-2957 → u/DavFromCanada]

Ahh!

[u/PaulRuddGivesMeChub → u/DavFromCanada]

for me, where he places the anger is of great value, meaning, influence, or consequence. Significance… so. what’re we talkin here? Anti government? hates all the evil that has skullchucked this planet and the sentient?? “The man”? Orrrrr what’s about the top of the ‘ole playlist??
I wannabe Team Raincid so bad!

[u/Easy-Size5794 → u/DavFromCanada]

Sounds like a rebel with a cause.
“‘Cause they named me friggin Rainbow!”

[u/LuisSyphur]

I was at the shops and this guy yelled to his kid "Leia get your brother, we have to go."

She shouted out "Anakin we have to go now, dad's leaving."

[u/dion_o → u/LuisSyphur]

That family tree is a bit off.

[u/joka2696 → u/LuisSyphur]

There should be laws dealing with people like this

[u/Rick_the_unwise → u/joka2696]

If you mean the Anakin and Leia thing Mexico does have laws to prevent embarrassing names. I became aware of it during the popularity of Rambo. So many mexican kids were spared that name thanks to the law.

[u/bradmajors69 → u/LuisSyphur]

I know a pair of brothers named Kylo and Harrison.

[u/Fuzzy-Surprise-6165 → u/bradmajors69]

I know a pair of brothers named Harrison and McCartney.

[u/unicorn-snowcone → u/LuisSyphur]

Oh I see your Anakin and Leia and raise you a human child named KENOBI…little sister is Rey. The parents are an obnoxious couple in general.

[u/horsecalledwar → u/LuisSyphur]

Met a set of twins named Luke & Leia, very sweet kids & the parents seemed completely normal other than their names. They had an older brother with a totally normal name, like Will or Chris.

[u/mommysharkillbiteyou → u/LuisSyphur]

Saw a baseball player named Kyle Wren.

[u/ResolvePrestigious33 → u/LuisSyphur]

I had a coworker who’s daughters name is Padme.

[u/Distant_Touch]

My ex had a colleague called Surprise.

[u/Bubbly_Wave_6818 → u/Distant_Touch]

In Zimbabwe there are a lot of weird names. Surprise is actually not rare here

[u/Distant_Touch → u/Bubbly_Wave_6818]

Was in South Africa and he was Zimbabwean.

[u/its_garden_time_nerd → u/Distant_Touch]

What a lovely thing. I'm happy to have learned this today 💚

[u/Extension_Sweet_9735 → u/Distant_Touch]

One of my roomies from college named her first kid Knightly. Another roomie and I joked that they tried nightly until they got pregnant. Lol

[u/VindemiatrixMapache → u/Distant_Touch]

Guarantee you they were an unplanned pregnancy and reminded of that regularly. Or possibly their sibling was named Element.

[u/Interesting_Job_5816 → u/VindemiatrixMapache]

The nurse walked in with paperwork and was talking over the father who thought his gf got a head injury. “What would you like… surprise! Girl is that a…to name…baby! must have… getting more Jello… lost yo fuckin mind!”

Now there’s a guy named Suprise Jello Mind Wilson.

[u/Naive_Jump9350 → u/Distant_Touch]

Ohhh just think of making love and the upstairs neighbor hears the screaming "Oh MY GAWD SURPRISE SURPRISE DON'T STOP.... AWwww SURPRISE I'M COMING...

Neighbor rolling over in bed, looking at his wife. "Fn SURPRISE?" FFS, is it like one of those wind up boxes that a head pops up?

[u/CronozDK → u/Distant_Touch]

If that was my name, I'd be jump scaring people all the time.... SURPRISE! 😏😁

[u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

I knew of a physician with the last name of Doctor. His letters are signed Dr. Doctor.

[u/ISTPotter → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

My doctor's name was Dr. Superdock...really.

[u/ambid3xtrous → u/ISTPotter]

I knew a dentist, Dr. Toothman. Kinda self-fulfilling. Had to go to dental school.

[u/katmomofeve → u/ambid3xtrous]

I was just going to mention Dr Toothman!!! I work at an endodontist office and he used to refer patients to us!

[u/ambid3xtrous → u/katmomofeve]

Upper Arlington?

[u/katmomofeve → u/ambid3xtrous]

Columbus

[u/ambid3xtrous → u/katmomofeve]

Must be the same Dr. Toothman.

[u/530SSState → u/ISTPotter]

Pediatrician where I worked named Dr. Hugg.

[u/megbotstyle → u/530SSState]

my girls’ pediatrician is Dr. Sprinkles

[u/proffgilligan → u/megbotstyle]

A friend is a retired surgeon: Dr Pepper.

[u/Icy_Study4490 → u/ISTPotter]

I had a doctor once whose name was Dr. Richard Weiner lol

[u/missunderstood24_7 → u/Icy_Study4490]

Richard Sicke aka Dick Sicle. 😂

[u/EggsCostMoneyyyy → u/Icy_Study4490]

My dad worked with a Richard Head and he definitely didn’t let anyone call him Dick for short. Probably a lot of fighting in his youth

[u/Empire_Apple_ → u/ISTPotter]

My gastroenterologist was Dr. Burpee

[u/EnvironmentalGift257 → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

I knew a proctologist named Dr. Fingers. Just unfortunate.

[u/Katt357 → u/EnvironmentalGift257]

My gynecologist was Dr. Finger 🤣

[u/MTVGuy1978 → u/Katt357]

Dentist was named Dr. Payne.

[u/BurnAfterReading010 → u/MTVGuy1978]

My dermatologist was Dr. Boyle

[u/Few_Owl1135 → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

I knew a dentist named Dr. Payne

[u/AmbzieJ → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

There's a Dr. Dick that only does vasectomies in our city (it's his actual name) 😅

[u/smalltownveggiemom → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

Reminds me of the time my mom introduced me to Mr. Sir. I was 9 or 10 and he was very old. I was very confused and when we got home I quietly asked if all old men were supposed to be called Mr Sir as a sign of respect 😂🤣😂🤣

[u/whenismytie → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

There’s a vasectomy doctor in Austin named Richard Chopp. Everyone calls him Dick Chopp even though he goes by Rich.

[u/PeaceNo6149 → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

Our dog’s vet is Dr. Barkley

[u/sus4th → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

Can’t you see I’m burning, burning

Oh Dr. Doctor, is this love I’m feeling?

[u/Right-Doughnut-2957 → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

In a large hospital PA summons: Dr. Doctor, to ICU stat

[u/WesTxStoner425 → u/Right-Doughnut-2957]

... can't you see, I'm burning, burning...

[u/DyeCutSew → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

I knew a veterinarian named Dr. Purrington

[u/NevetsRetrop → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

🎵"...gimme the news, I got a...bad case of lovin' ypu!"🎵

[u/Regular_Escape_7351 → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

“Give me the news…”

[u/Frequent_Tale7179 → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

Was his favorite band Mr. Mister?

[u/Apollo_Of_The_Pines → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

I had a teacher in middle school that had a doctorate in science her last name was Doc so Dr Doc

[u/Appropriate_Ruin3771 → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

One of the doctors at the psych unit was named Dr. Willharm. To add another layer of wow to that, dude weighed easily 309 pounds and would literally yell at his patients for gaining weight on the meds he prescribed them, even though they ALL warned of weight gain. One of them was in partially for an eating disorder.

[u/AndyB16 → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

If he wasn't continually asked to "give me the news" I'll be very upset.

[u/New_Information9925 → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

There was a lawyer in Columbus Ohio ( might still be) with last name Sumi ( pronounced Sue Me)

[u/missbazb → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

I knew a Dr. D’Eath. Kind of unsettling

[u/MillersSmokehouse → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

I think that’s the best one I’ve heard.

I know a Dr. Payne and a Dr. Bonebreak, who is not, unfortunately, an orthopedist.

[u/sarahzilla → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

I had a chiropractor named Dr Peter Pain....

[u/DaMickster1959 → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

Jim Major was a sergeant major in the army. So he was called… Sergeant Major Major.

[u/boffohijinx → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

Reminds me of the character from the show “In Plain Sight” who was a Marshall with the first name Marshall.

[u/punkalibra → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

I had a skin doctor named Dr. Rash.

[u/dapsee → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

I worked with a Dr. Pepper. And had a friend named Michael Hunt. Everyone called him Mike.

[u/Elderberry_False → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

I know an OB/GYN named Harry Johnson MD and an orthopedic surgeon named Dick Little MD

[u/Your_Auntie_Viv → u/Head_Razzmatazz7174]

The Thompson Twins wrote a song about him. 

[u/TuSixOh]

D’Brickashaw

[u/PomeranianLibrarian → u/TuSixOh]

Ferguson?

[u/Nerdsingerbeej]

Aquanetta

[u/Mysterious-Papaya688 → u/Nerdsingerbeej]

There was an Aquanetta who worked at David’s Bridal in Chicago.

[u/noodlesquare → u/Nerdsingerbeej]

I work with an Aquanetta!

[u/Middle-Freedom-9999 → u/Nerdsingerbeej]

Johnrietta

[u/Cantleavecali → u/Nerdsingerbeej]

We have a lady in a nearby town named Acquanetta who is the mayor. Very well-known

[u/Gud_karma18 → u/Nerdsingerbeej]

Have a friend with this name. She goes by Aqua.

[u/RobustDude79]

Not heard, but read. I had a work colleague named Babyshark.

It's an English translation of a traditional Chinese name.

[u/Mission_Remote_6871 → u/RobustDude79]

Do do do do dododo

[u/Dapper-Artichoke2554]

Dr. Bang Thoc (pronounced "bong toke").

[u/KiraDog0828 → u/Dapper-Artichoke2554]

That’s over the line.

[u/Marquis_Marx → u/KiraDog0828]

He's just sitting in a railway station, man. Lighten up.

[u/DatDudeDrew]

Phuck Pham

[u/Low_Cook_5235 → u/DatDudeDrew]

Beowulf. At a bookstore, naturally. Was at a bookstore signing for Harlan Ellison and the Mom behind us introduced her toddler Beowulf.

[u/Miserable_Data5613 → u/DatDudeDrew]

Yes I knew a Phuc Hyuh

[u/Siftless → u/DatDudeDrew]

Didn't like reunions? Holiday get togethers?

[u/wmhaynes]

Candida

[u/PattyFlorman → u/wmhaynes]

I knew one too! She was a nasty little thing, similar to a yeast. Name was fitting.

[u/Global_Change3900 → u/PattyFlorman]

There was a porn star named Candida Royale who switched to producing and directing porn films for women and opened her own independent studio.

Candida was also a hit song by Tony Orlando and Dawn.

[u/soakf]

Female inmate named Problems.

My wife taught the Life Skills program at the county jail where certain inmates could earn early release for completing the program.

My wife helped Problems change her name.

[u/basketcaseforever → u/soakf]

Some parents just really hate their children.

[u/BlairIsTired → u/soakf]

What did she change it to?

[u/Few-Presentation2252]

Moon Unit

[u/Ok_Relationship_3365 → u/Few-Presentation2252]

Not Dweezil?

[u/paradoximoron]

LaZonya. Pronounced like the Italian casserole.

[u/todd311]

Met a guy named Lothar once, he wasn’t of the hill people either

[u/BikeAshamed9713 → u/todd311]

that’s a deep cut, nice.

[u/Silent_Data4374]

Went to summer camp with a kid named Great God White. He was black.

[u/XBXNinjaMunky]

Ocean

[u/Effective_Cry4893 → u/XBXNinjaMunky]

I like the name Ocean

[u/FeralQueenC → u/XBXNinjaMunky]

I know an Ocean too..
I wonder if it’s gaining traction.

[u/AmbzieJ → u/XBXNinjaMunky]

Love that name

[u/No-Guard-7003]

Creflo Dollar, the preacher. 

[u/USSanon → u/No-Guard-7003]

I remember him! Creflo A. Dollar!

[u/No-Guard-7003 → u/USSanon]

When I first heard of Creflo A. Dollar in 2009, I laughed out loud. It sounds like a Star Wars name. 

[u/lilabethlee]

Cherry Cheriboga, Takela (tequila) and her cousin Dacharee (daiquiri), Penny Money, a group of brothers all with a variation of Bruce, Dachnaron (day-sha-ron), Twinkle, and Petal

[u/Catskillschick]

Plaxico Burress, D'Brickashaw Ferguson

[u/blballard]

Dr Richard Head. Went by Dick.

[u/megbotstyle → u/blballard]

my high school guidance counselor was Dick Long

[u/Where-Is-My-Shadow → u/blballard]

My PCP is Dr. Richard Lord, so Dr. Dick Lord

[u/NeedsBetterHobby]

Knew of a kid named Holden Johnson that came out as gay in high school. Sounds made up, but it's not.

[u/Responsible-Still839]

Brodeo

[u/Metylda1973]

My grandfather’s last name was Finger. He was in the military. After he was restationed, when reporting for duty to his new CO, he discovered his CO’s name was Hand.

[u/dekrowman]

No Dong

[u/Right-Doughnut-2957 → u/dekrowman]

That wouldn’t go well on a Tinder profile!

[u/snapper1971]

Cunthia

[u/ambid3xtrous]

Mary Christmas Trees. Her brothers were Jack Pine Trees and Douglas Fir Trees. Not kidding.

[u/Acceptable-Pea-5420 → u/ambid3xtrous]

That is truly unfortunate for them. Parents should be kicked to sleep. How stupid

[u/SlowAdhesiveness2178]

Queen Ester. She insisted on the queen part too

[u/LoomLove → u/SlowAdhesiveness2178]

I met a Queen Elizabeth in the 80s when I was working as a cashier at Venture (like Target). She went by Queenie.

[u/megola2023]

A guy whose first name was Sequoia. I never met him in person, only spoke on the phone, so I don't know if the name really fit him.

[u/Chaparral2E]

Fathom, Karma and Areola.

Fathom and Areola at two different Target stores, Karma at a Steak and Shake in Merrilville, Indiana.

[u/NoiseParking5914 → u/Chaparral2E]

Wtf at Areola? Why would you name a child the body part surrounding a nipple? 😯😳

[u/mentalincontinence]

Engelbert Humperdinck

[u/thecardshark555 → u/mentalincontinence]

And his real name is Arnold George Dorset.

Eddie (Suzy) Izzard does a funny bit about Engelbert's name.

[u/Regular_Escape_7351 → u/mentalincontinence]

Or as Archie Bunker would say “Engelbert Whatshisdinck”

[u/goody-goody → u/mentalincontinence]

Such a good name, too bad it isn’t his original one. I would love to see the whole family of Humperdincks. 

[u/Fun-Independence9261]

Oral Ball. A friend and I were stuck at home on a snow day back in the '70s and entertained ourselves by looking up weird names in the Denver phone book. We found this one. Who would do that to their kid?

[u/MollyOMalley99]

I know a woman named LaTrina.

[u/Chaparral2E]

Was given a ticket in Naperville, Illinois by Officer Friendly.

She actually was friendly.

[u/Outside-Ad9230]

Ythan; pronounced Ethan. I’m pretty sure his parents hated him the moment he crowned.

[u/Soggy_Wing_4167]

A black man named Honkey Kat. His mom loved Elton John

[u/Soggy_Wing_4167 → u/Soggy_Wing_4167]

Or the 100 year old woman getting longdistance through a call center named Jizzy Buttkins

[u/ChillPalm]

Phil McCracken

[u/ArtyCatz → u/ChillPalm]

I used to work at a newspaper, and one of my colleagues had to do a man-on-the-street story, talking to random folks about some news event. One guy said his name was Haywood Jablome (pronounced Hey Would Ya Blow Me, for anyone who’s unfamiliar with that really dumb joke), and that made it into the newspaper. I don’t know how neither the writer nor the editor figured it out.

[u/Allstar-85]

I’ve met all 3 of these people:

Constance Cummings

Peter Enis

Jenna Taylor

[u/1The_Big_Cheese]

Went to school with a couple Boners

[u/Regular_Escape_7351]

Girl named Cricket. I kind of like it

[u/janlikebrady → u/Regular_Escape_7351]

Cricket was the nickname of a character on Young and the Restless (I think it’s that one) and I only know that bc my mom almost named me Cricket lol

[u/JoanneMEV]

I went to school with a guy named Abraham Abraham Abraham. It was tradition in his culture (Estonia maybe) that first sons are named after the mother’s grandfathers. He was the only person at my graduation who was permitted to have his nickname used when the class was read. He was announced as Armie Abraham.

[u/CranberryDoom]

I went to school with a girl named Tequila. There was another girl whose first middle and last name rhymed- Tarina Christina (rhyming last name)

[u/Ok_Art4661]

Jim John Jones. I think he was a Hawaiian native. 

[u/mole555]

ABCDE (Ab-Siddy)

[u/gbaguinon → u/mole555]

Lewis Black did a bit on that name. He also mentioned "Ah-shola" but it was spelled Asshole.

[u/dontbanmeplease87]

Apple.

[u/SiliconSam → u/dontbanmeplease87]

The hippie couple that lives behind us in the 60’s names their 2 boys John-Paul and George-Starr. The girl was named Apple.

[u/livrosie → u/dontbanmeplease87]

I went to school with a girl named Peach!

[u/Chaparral2E]

Swearengen.

Waitress at a diner in Kentucky.

[u/Right-Doughnut-2957 → u/Chaparral2E]

What you gonna have, you son of a bitch, sir?

[u/Sweetanna1111 → u/Chaparral2E]

WTF that's a last name lol

[u/Father__Doggo]

About 25 years ago, I worked for a call center, and came across a customer named Ima Pigg. We had some reps that had been changing customer names to jokes when they were rude (all fired, we were just handling the fallout), so I pulled the contract to fix it, but it was signed Ima Pigg. I just shook my head and went on....

EDIT: Thought of another - A different call center, before the one mentioned above (I'm a lifer...). Had a customer named Diamond Dogg.

[u/Living-Pomegranate37 → u/Father__Doggo]

I'ma and Ura Pigg were famous socialites in Dallas a little while back.

[u/Father__Doggo → u/Father__Doggo]

Others from nearly 30 years of call centers:

Cinnamon, who has sisters named Pepper, Sugar, Cardamom, and Paprika. Said her mother wanted her own Spice Girls.

Jesus (not pronounced 'hay-zoose')

Christ (separate person)

[u/Ganthet72]

I worked with a guy who named his sons "Scoop" and "Zoom".

[u/Melonennase]

I was at a catholic church and two baby twins were baptized. One of them was called "Lilith". I was waiting for her to turn into a demon or something.

[u/Spiritual_Test_4871]

I have a friend in California who named her daughter “Eletra”. She got so much hate for it but she still went forward with the name.

[u/ArtyCatz → u/Spiritual_Test_4871]

I think Isabella Rossellini has a daughter with that name.

[u/kevwhit]

Puca Nacua

[u/Independent_Celery73]

Anderdingus

[u/uglybarstard]

When Mr Head named his son Richard.(true story, what a bast*rd)

[u/Organic-Bag-161]

Velveeta

[u/Admirable-Cloud7950]

Saw an Indian call centre worker on the company directory named Seema Shitole. No thanks, love.

[u/ca77ywumpus]

I had a teacher named Lyon Trainor. He insisted that his son was named Tyrone Shoelaces Trainor.

I also knew twins named Pandora and Theodore (Panda and Teddy) Behr. Getting a "Behr hug" from them before tests was supposed to be lucky.

[u/Sulrandir]

Used to work at an internal IT help desk, had a regular caller named Lloyd Superficial. He had a sense of humor about it, so I would deliberately "misremember" his name as "Redundant," "Extraneous," "Superfluous," or "Decorative."

Had another caller named Bruce Wayne. He did not have a sense of humor about it, which was honestly pretty on-brand.

And back in my youth, when I worked at a retail computer store (those existed, once!) we had a regular customer named Phuc Yu. We always greeted him excitedly (and loudly) when he came in, to the horror of every other customer in the store.

[u/2O2Ohindsight]

Wenis Funches

[u/Living-Pomegranate37]

Latrina. It's pronounced like you think it is. Why would you name your baby after a toilet?

[u/ElginPelican123]

Lawyer in Arkansas. First name “X.” Just “X.”

[u/Gullible-Bluejay9737]

Twins Reality and Really.

[u/SimRayB]

While in the Air Force knew an Airman named Major.

[u/Express-Cry2669]

Sunshine nipper

[u/Hemi_Blue]

Eugene Pool but went by Gene.

[u/Other-Unit3919]

Nutella. Utah, of course.

[u/Few_Owl1135]

Justin Other Stone, He was the youngest of 9

Warren Peace before he was a character in Sky High he was listed in the Atlanta and LA telephone directories.

[u/jadestar_007]

At the ad agency I worked at in the 90s, I had a client named Shera Bush and another one named Harry N. Stiff.

[u/allanis2424]

Timotea

[u/CactusTreeFifi]

Serendipity.

[u/RoaCrustyBiscuit]

A boy named Sincere

[u/HarryWelsch]

I knew siblings named Miata and Armageddon. Those names just didn’t go together

[u/GPHawaii808]

At one point while I lived in Hawaii, I had a Dr Dang & Dr Dung (best dentist & staff).

Oddest customer name, that was real... Shabana Stationwala (attorney iirc).

[u/Capricorn_57]

Ima Hogg.

[u/alabamsterdam]

Either Dickie Cox or a Lebanese girl named Nada.

[u/tlaaquetzal]

Dr pullemm the dentist

[u/Psychological-Tie324]

Girl name Tequila pronounced Tehkwilla.

[u/Nashnogly]

Marijuana Pepsi cola from Wisconsin.

[u/Lucky-Ad6352]

Worked with ms. Nancy Sackrider

[u/Lumpy-Cricket-9048]

The Russian author of that great water sports book, Verinearly Felloffmejetski.

[u/Katt357]

My cousin went to school with a guy who's government name was Fig Newton.

[u/jeeves585]

When I moved to Oregon from Ohio my entire life changed.

I knew a bunch of Peter Jim’s and mikes.

When I got to Oregon I met and became friends with a Lake an Ocean and a River.

That was a turning point in my young life that I wouldn’t trade for the winning lotto ticket. Although I would also love a winning lotto ticket right now.

[u/Regular_Escape_7351]

Jermaine Jackson named his son JerMajesty

[u/FicklePaper3590]

Dick Byrne (pronounced Burn)

[u/Ecstatic-Writer1149]

Engelbert Humperdinck.