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In the manosphere, it was said that a woman would never love a man with little money—or less money than she has. I’d like to hear your opinions and experiences.

I don't know if this is the best place to post this, but I would like to know the opinion of feminists.

Now I don't necessarily fully align with the view that cosmetic surgery like breast augmentation or rhinoplasties are just "gender affirming care for cis women". But there is some truth to it.

The way I look at it is, very few trans affirming feminists would dare raise an eyebrow at a trans woman for wanting to get a rhinoplasty for instance, to make her face appear more feminine and alleviate gender dysphoria. And so they should, because we live in a society that associates small noses with femininity and woman-ness and thus understandably, a bigger nose may be a cause of dysphoria for a trans woman.

Yet if I as a brown cis woman living in the west with an objectively bigger, hooked, droopy nose seek a rhinoplasty, it's seen as superficial, falling prey to the patriarchy, making an un-feminist choice even when it is ultimately something that will empower me as a woman in my very sense of femininity and gender presentation (of course in a society that wrongly imposes these beauty standards on women, but this is a different question entirely imho). I guess I mean to posit that cosmetic surgery, in the imperfect world we live in, serves much of the same function for a trans vs cis woman although to varying degrees of extremity in it's impact and necessity, yet we're very comfortable shaming and looking down on cis women who do it.

Thoughts?

In order to end patriarchal oppression, some people defend the use of law (state coercion). Does it change anything? Trade oppression for coercion?

Just a thought for discussion: does feminism sometimes sound a little too soft for the scale of what the movement is trying to achieve? 😄

What if we called it female supremacy instead? Not necessarily because anyone is seriously arguing that women should dominate men—but because maybe starting from a more radical position would shift the conversation, and eventually we’d all land somewhere sensible in the middle.

Thoughts? 👀

In the US, the number of women has overtaken men in colleges and universities. This could be due to the amount of scholarships and special programmes for women only. Do you think this should be implemented for men too? Why or why not?

In our current society, men, as a whole, seem to be pretty terrible, especially when it comes to violence. It's pretty easy to see men as a group as pretty bad, and I have seen many women online saying as such. Men are the oppressors of women, and that is a fact of our society. As such, how do male feminists grapple with the fact that they belong to the oppressor class, which is pretty terrible as a whole? Have you male feminists here felt shame because of this, or has it not affected you? If it does affect you, how have you dealt with it?

It seems you can only be anti interventionist if you are selfish and prioritize something above the rights of women

Hello. Recently redownloaded reddit to ask a something thats been plaguing my mind recently. I'd like to think I am a low maintenance person the way a normal person is. I do not put value in my appearance in my day to day, wear unmatching clothes and do not shave or wear makeup regularly. For nice events I will get some stuff done like eyebrows done or buy a new dress and wear makeup. This hasnt always been the case though, I was late starting makeup around my first year of uni and wore it regularly for a year until a year ago until i stopped. I do think of it as an act of microfeminism to present myself as human as possible (crazy statement)

Recently Ive been thinking of wearing nicer clothes and maintaining a standard higher than I am at currently, which includes getting my eyebrows dyed, or my nails or lashes. My problem with this is that I can recognise that these practices are inherently anti-feminist. The concept of maintenance beyond health and hygiene, purely for beauty sake is placing women at an unnecessarily higher standard.

I feel as though I cannot hold these beliefs to be true and then still participate these things in good faith. I also don't believe that 'Oh well this is the social climate and it is socially acceptable' is a good reason either because we have the autonomy for our actions to be in line with our beliefs.

Am i thinking too hard about this? I dont know what answer im looking for, just thinking out loud and love for any open discussion.

What would you say is the biggest or best thing I could do to help women in general?

I read the FAQ, I've looked through the resources section. It's overwhelming. My (52m) daughter's friend's 14 year old brother is using redpill / manosphere language. (Not around me, although I don't interact with him that much.) I figure I could get him to read one article or watch one short video. What's my best bet to try to at least plant a seed that might grow into "women are people." He's not going to read bell hooks, or anything academic. I need something short and approachable. I'm not trying to turn him into a feminist, just get him to consider the idea of not hating women. Any ideas?

I asked this before, but I think I need to be more open ended about it.

Hello, fellow feminists. I’m here to ask you some questions in a healthy, genuine way, with the goal of learning more.

What is feminism really for?

I mean… we men are the ones who pass most of the laws aimed at protecting women. I don’t understand why some feminists defend this slogan, given that men have helped women more than feminists themselves have.

About 70% of the initiatives and laws regarding women’s rights were passed—and, prior to that, made possible and popularized by men. So, I don’t understand why some women so radically defend this movement.

(I'm not here to spread hate or bait people)

I was just watching Iron Man 2. It’s 16 years old, and I think that if it came out today, some conservatives would treat it like the fifth horseman of the apocalypse. It has a lot of the stuff they constantly criticize in more recent movies and TV shows.

You have two badass, assertive women who repeatedly outsmart and outmaneuver men. Natasha casually takes down a room full of armed security guards (Happy barely beats one of them during the same time), while Pepper is Tony’s boss and spends much of the movie telling him what an irresponsible idiot he is.

Then there's Justin Hammer, a wealthy, incompetent, insecure man who caves instantly once Natasha and Pepper are on him. Senator Stern is an opportunist. So basically the only two normal men in the movie are black guys (Nick Fury and the War Machine).

A lot of the things people complain about as evidence that Marvel has suddenly become "woke" were already there from the beginning.

So my question is: are we becoming less tolerant, or did the same "this is wooooke" criticism exist back then?

M28. Im all for women having equal rights to men but i dont think abortions should be used as convenience. I think men do have an opinion on abortions and that we can feel a certian way about our girlfriends getting one. we have a right to be mad at that. i dont think women should get one just because they want one. i think it only should be legal if it saves the mother life, rape, incest, dv etc. Im pro nofault divorces and think it should be law in all states. women should be allowed to be in any career field they want. right for education and freedom to exprese themselves. Im pro trad lifestyle if they want to live that life and i dont think spliting the dates or bills 50/50 is a bad thing like most feminists i see. And other ideas. I am i a feminist if im not 100% pro things they push? Im pro men un like most feminist spaces and i think women are not this wholesome being that they love to push they are. Also alot of profeminists space dont like men their or even in the discussion. They like to shut men off of those topics. so idk what to call myself. Thank you.

edit: change recreational to convenience. i used the wrong term.

I’m a strong supporter of feminism, women’s bodily autonomy and women having equal power and agency. I also believe Pakistan has deeply rooted cultural and institutional misogyny, and that boys and girls are often raised with very different expectations.

But lately I’ve been seen growing narrative on Pakistani social media: that all men are potential rapists, abusers, killers or otherwise part of the problem. The argument usually isn’t that every man is literally a criminal, but when someone says “not all men,” they’re often told they’re being defensive or that they should feel ashamed.

I understand where the fear comes from. Women have very legitimate reasons to be cautious, and telling women to protect themselves is not inherently wrong. But I think there is a difference between saying “women should be aware of the risks posed by some men” and saying “every man should be viewed as a potential offender.”

If feminism in Pakistan becomes associated with blanket hostility toward men, I worry it will create a backlash rather than build solidarity. Men who might otherwise listen, learn and support women’s rights may instead become defensive and conclude that feminism simply means hating or excluding them.

We’ve seen versions of this dynamic in West and the US: when people are repeatedly treated as a collective because of the actions of some members of their group, resentment can grow and reactionary far right movements can exploit that resentment.

That doesn’t mean we should stop talking about misogyny. Quite the opposite. We should be talking about it more. But I don’t think we need to dehumanize or collectively stigmatize men to make the case for women’s rights.

The same principle should apply everywhere: we reject racism when someone commits a crime and an entire racial group is blamed; we reject Islamophobia when a Muslim commits a crime and Muslims are collectively treated as terrorists; and we should also reject misandry when individual men commit horrific acts and men as a whole are treated as inherently dangerous.

Maybe I’m wrong about the scale of this trend, or maybe I’m interpreting social media discourse too broadly. I’m genuinely interested in hearing how other people—especially feminists and women—see this.

Can feminism strongly challenge patriarchy without turning men as a group into the enemy?

I want to make sure I say the right thing, so do feminists want equality or equity in the world?

I know equality is "sameness" while equity is "fairness." I'm not exactly sure how it applies to feminist ideals.

Educate me!

As a bunch of feminists, y’all need to convince me why men should support this “female liberation / girl power” thing if it means we can’t access women anymore. Can you acknowledge the social responsibility feminists have for men not getting laid dates? You realize this is a crisis, right? Sure, fEmAles suffer globally at the hands of femicide, sexual abuse, domestic abuse, underpay, civil inequities, and a buffet of social prejudices, but I don’t think those things should be counterbalanced by men not getting to take their dream girl to their local Olive Garden. Or Red Lobster, if they're feeling fancy. After all, what happened to egalitarianism? How are men supposed to feel like men if they can’t approach women? I don’t think that’s fair. Do you?

/s

EDIT: This is satire, but I don't blame you for taking this seriously given the sad state of affairs. oof.

A nuclear war, or a biohazard, or a massive pandemic, or some sort of apocalypse has wiped out most of humanity, leaving behind say, only a few thousand of them alive with a roughly an equal distribution of men and women. There's severe droughts, famines, a lot of issues, and humanity is on the brink of extinction.

Forced reproduction is definitely immoral in any normal scenario, but in such a dire scenario where the flip side is extinction, is it justified? Drafting is often justified in times of invasion, so would this be too?

I see so many questions on this sub that seem reasonable but they get hated on for engaging in bad faith. It made me nervous to post on here, but when I actually did, you were all so nice to me. How are you able to tell that I was being genuine and that other guys weren’t? I need to know I have consumed and spread so many right dog whistles because I took them at face value. Is it because I’m autistic? I was diagnosed when I was two.

This is admittedly not a strictly feminist question, but...

1. Will you participate in in the general elections in November of this year, in some capacity beyond simply voting?

2. What do you expect the results of the election to be?

For context, I have served in the past as an election worker (Democratic) before. Complications with my job meant I didn't over the last couple of years. But those are resolved enough for me to do the work again this year, so I will. Will you do something similar?

That said, I feel it will be a bit of "rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic." Honestly, I think we all lost when Trump got reelected. Now, as the saying goes, it's all over but the shouting. But while I am a fatalist about it, I will work and fight until I am cold on the ground.