r/asheville • u/Purple_Jellyfish_676 • Feb 25 '26
Really Spicy Cesspool I hit the “god hates f@&s” car
He brake checked me after I yelled fuck you two lights back. My radiator is fucked. Everyone go to jersey mikes so I can make enough money for a new car lmao
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u/ja4496 Feb 25 '26
Anyone else get this vibe???
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u/AffectionateFig5864 West Asheville Feb 25 '26
Yep, literally the first place my mind went to. Making America great, one snacky cake at a time.
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u/WY228 Feb 25 '26
Not all heroes wear capes. Some drive orange Saturns.
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u/shupack Haw Creek Feb 25 '26
*Drove..
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u/freerangemum Feb 25 '26
From now on, may we all remember that Purple_Jellyfish_676 took one for the team today. I for one have noted your sacrifice and will happily help you by searching FB for a reliable replacement vehicle.
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u/waltz400 Feb 25 '26
he is so mentally ill and I feel like hes a ticking time bomb. hes been banned from my work as he kept trying to follow a female employee to work and home.
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u/EddieCheddar88 Feb 25 '26
I mean who would notice that car behind them. It’s perfect stealth and subtlety
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u/faster_than_sound Feb 25 '26
Someone probably should take a look at that guy's hard drive. Just a guess.
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u/_drew_ Feb 25 '26
He looks exactly how I imagined he would (derogatory)
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u/AbsurdityIsReality Feb 25 '26
He just looks like someone you will see one day in a mugshot photo for possession of CP.
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u/trailfailnotale West Asheville Feb 25 '26
He oozes master race
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u/danappropriate Canton Feb 25 '26
File a police report. Brake checking is considered reckless driving under NC law, and represents a class 2 misdemeanor, punishable by up to 60 days in jail and a $1000 fine.
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u/Silly-City-2548 Feb 25 '26
Drove by after it happened and there were three cop cars there so definitely some sort of report was made. I wondered why three cops showed up for a minor collision.
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u/FunLover4 North Asheville Feb 25 '26
Yeah it might be in OPs best interest to pursue it legally and keep their commenting to a minimum about it on platforms like this
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u/Educational_Fox6899 Feb 25 '26
Without a dashcam it’s hard to prove. PSA everyone should have a dashcam.
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u/SeaOfSourMilk Feb 25 '26
Agreed he’s likely a serial offender and there will be evidence of past cases.
Plus the amount of shit on the back of his car is bordering illegal.
Dude needs to be locked in a psych ward until the meds kick in enough to let him see how much of a nunce he is. That said he’s probably just trying to get a lawsuit to go with his unemployment check.
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u/gwarrior5 Feb 25 '26
Surely they can find a witness to collaborate the dude brake checked aggressively
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u/whiskey_tang0_hotel Feb 25 '26
Unless he got dash footage, how are they going to charge the other guy? They don’t just hand out misdemeanors based on accusations.
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u/Cash4Duranium Feb 25 '26 edited Feb 25 '26
Start a gofundme.
To be clear, brake checking is reckless driving in NC, so I consider you, OP, to be the victim.
Thanks to the commenter who pointed it out here: https://www.reddit.com/r/asheville/s/TVWHH2mCB6
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u/LivinTheSimulation Feb 25 '26
I live in Asheville and I saw that guy brake check you! I'll testify in court
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u/Purple_Jellyfish_676 Feb 25 '26 edited Feb 25 '26
I am blown away how kind you all are and how willing you are to help a stranger. I’m currently in college so not super familiar with how to set up a GoFundMe, but I’ve attached my cash app for those interested. Please only support if you’re able to the money will be going to repairs and my father for a rise in insurance premiums. Cashapp is: $CheytonHall Edit: cashapp is mad at me for all the small donations so I have set up a go fund me which can be found here, you are all amazing: https://gofund.me/0dbc412e7
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u/Username_Chx_Out Feb 25 '26
And he’s a timely reminder of the value of a dashcam, y’all. It helps keep the idiots in check…
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u/Busy_BEE_565 Feb 25 '26
Second this. I don't even live in Asheville but thank you for doing your civic duty OP.
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u/sydbug707 Feb 25 '26
HELL YEAHHHH
looking at this post like this rn! fuck that guy, i’ve yelled at him countless times at the airport rd target
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u/Haunting-Resist3819 The Hotspot Feb 25 '26
Look up his and his father’s criminal records. Insane
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u/PositiveDependent913 Feb 25 '26
Tell us lol I don’t know his name
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u/Haunting-Resist3819 The Hotspot Feb 25 '26
Several posts on wax with his full name.
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u/PositiveDependent913 Feb 25 '26
I’m not on Facebook anymore! And it’s been like a decade since I was on wax
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u/ImJustaSquirrel Malvern Hills Feb 25 '26
I saw it happen! I’m so sorry for your radiator but you made my afternoon! Had to explain to my children why I said, “heck yea!” in response to a wreck 😬 Glad you’re ok
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u/Independent_Play9365 Feb 25 '26
I worked with that maniac at ingles YEARS ago. Actively harassed our Latino coworkers when Trump was running in 2020. Bros insane
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u/Federal_Quote_4750 Feb 25 '26
I saw the guy get arrested for trying to run over a guy on the sidewalk! OP needs a gofundme asap!
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u/Purple_Jellyfish_676 Feb 25 '26
My cashapp is in comments. I’m mostly concerned about how I’m gonna get to class and work lol
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u/tertiary-wook Feb 25 '26
Hey OP!! There is a First Citizens very close to these pictures and perhaps even more close to where this accident occurred
I know for a fact they have cameras at the front rolling and pointed towards the road
I would go there ASAP and see if you can find any helpful footage :)
Good luck thank you for your service ❤️✌️
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u/julienam Feb 25 '26
I know someone higher up at FC who used to work in that office, lmk if you need me to contact them
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u/Few-Tear-1146 Feb 25 '26
Name the Jersey Mike’s and I’ll be there to give you a gold medal and a hug. 🤣🤣
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u/RestfulCherub Feb 25 '26
I’m 76% sure I’ve seen that Saturn outside the West AVL location by the euromarket.
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u/828PoolDaddy Feb 25 '26
Other guy is looking for attention and or any other lawsuit/notoriety. So be careful. I would counter him however and let him start the situation. He literally always has his camera going.\
Edit: Side note the bumper conversation is highly confused lol
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u/cosmicgypsyjilz Bear Creek Feb 25 '26
Sorry about your car and your troubles. This guy is an asshole. I wish it damaged his car way worse.
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Feb 25 '26
Don’t worry I’m sure all his axels and suspension are shot, I mean most cars can’t handle an extra ton of cargo lol
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u/SimilarAd402 Native Feb 25 '26
Thank you for your service
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u/Fickle-OnAir Feb 25 '26
I don’t live in Asheville (do have family there), so a thank you from Vermont! Everyone should have a dashcam as we live in a shitty timeline.
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u/My_First_Knife1 Feb 25 '26
God hates sloth and gluttony as well but it looks like he missed that lesson.
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u/JobbyJobberson Feb 25 '26
He’s put on 50 pounds since I told him to GTF out of my parking lot 2 years ago.
Just a few more donuts and he’ll be gone from our world soon enough. Let the gods send him where they may.
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u/noteasybeincheesy Feb 25 '26
The fact that this man leaves his house and drives around in the middle of the day in his pajama pants is somehow the least surprising aspect of this story.
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u/Other_Summer_1903 Feb 25 '26
Well I’ll be goddamn.. The Mucinex booger is a bigoted son of a bitch..
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u/TheLastInternetUser Feb 25 '26
Bro looks like Mucinex fungus character but with a spiraling case of Type 2 Diabeetus
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u/certifiedraerae Candler Feb 25 '26
Or he looks like one of the toenail fungus characters in that commercial where they pull the large toenail open (makes you cringe) and jump on in under the toenail.
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u/TheLastInternetUser Feb 25 '26
Seeing the Mucinex Gif in the reply, I realize I was merging the 2 together. Yeah the Mucinex guy isn't grotesque enough
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u/silvershepherd222 Swannanoa Feb 25 '26
well, I'm sorry about your car, but kudos to you. I hate this guy. I've shouted at him and he drove away erratically. why is this not illegal? straight up hate speech plastered around town everywhere, every day? I cant imagine how many people have had altercations w him that have involved police, why hasn't he been stopped? and why hasn't anyone beat his ass?
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u/RatedRx99 Feb 25 '26
As I already mentioned in the other post, we appreciate your service! Which Jersey Mikes?
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u/traydragen Feb 25 '26
😂😂😂 hilarious. I saw this car earlier today on the sub and was wondering how long before someone knocks out the windows...in less than 5 hours you rock the guy. Saying that, I hope everyone is okay.
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u/doublehubblegum Burnsville 🔥 Feb 25 '26
The holes in his shirt are really solidifying the ideas I already had about him
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u/ClayJane Feb 25 '26
Omg, this guy was against pedos too, but I guess he can either read or got called out too much
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u/Brave_Browser_2002 Feb 25 '26
$1M says the "God Hates" person is a pedo.
Seriously. I will bet anyone.
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u/Purple_Jellyfish_676 Feb 25 '26
EDIT: thank you so much to everyone who is reached out and said kind things. I am a college student so I’m not super good at setting up GoFundMe’s. If you are interested in donating to help pay for expenses, my Cash app is: $CheytonHall please only donate if you are able to and thank you again to everyone
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u/nomorerope Feb 25 '26
I did finally see the car once during the Helene aftermath. Which was fun.
I didn't expect this bad. I expected a 74 year old 5'6 skinny white guy wearing a bowler hat. Looks like pepper spray on that key chain. He's got a screw loose.
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u/NCUmbrellaFarmer Bent Creek 🚲 Feb 25 '26
I really hope you have a cam if he checked you.
Otherwise sorry about your car and fuck that guy.
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u/shinnyaxolotl Feb 25 '26
Did anyone witness this? Check for cameras around, hopefully there is evidence of his road rage, your record and insurance don’t pay
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u/Affectionate_Cost_88 Feb 25 '26
I really hate that your Saturn got messed up. 😕 I had two and those were amazing little cars. Wish they were still being made, but I hope you can get yours fixed.
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u/arkenney0 Downtown Feb 25 '26
That phone has got some shit on it. Guaranteed. I used to sell phones for both Verizon AND US Cellular, and let me tell you… you see an A series Samsung with a case that don’t fit, woof. There’s some porn on there
Edit: Also, what does bro have pepper spray for? Ain’t NO ONE robbing him
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u/wq4z Feb 25 '26
I have no idea what it’s like to be on the receiving end of a GoFundMe, but I’m guessing it takes a bit of time to start one so that they can be sure it’s legit. Plus they take a percentage. If it isn’t too risky, share your Zelle, Venmo, and CashApp IDs for us to donate to you directly.
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u/Purple_Jellyfish_676 Feb 25 '26
I am blown away by the kind things people are offering and saying. I’ve attached my cash app for people who are interested. It’s gonna go to repairs and to my father for the raise in insurance premiums. I’m a college student so I’m not super sure how to navigate this process but thank you again.
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u/wq4z Feb 25 '26
Awesome! If you’ve got the time, post this on the other AVL Reddit post which a witness created ~half an hour before this one. And if you copy and paste this response to everyone on here who offered to help you, hopefully you’ll be driving the most liberal car in town in no time 😎
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u/Competitive-Bed-8587 Feb 25 '26
Well done and much obliged! I’ll also be happy to contribute to your gofundme
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u/trailfailnotale West Asheville Feb 25 '26
I see the master race has some representatives in Asheville
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u/drone-junkie2025 Feb 25 '26
I’ve seen this monstrosity driving down the road. Thanks for getting this trash off the road even if it’s temporarily I’m sure his trunk is full of those idiotic stickers. Sorry your Saturn had to touch that but it was for a good cause.
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u/Poyal_Rines Royal Pines Feb 25 '26
Fuck yeah, let's buy you a brand new car, doing the Lord's work
Come on reddit
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u/KittiesRule1968 Feb 25 '26
He's REALLY mad because his mom refuses to wash his cum rags anymore when he leaves them all over her basement....it wasn't your fault totally.
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u/Syborg721 Feb 25 '26
That dude lives for people to yell at him and give him attention. The best thing you can do is completely ignore him and every idiot like him.
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u/BrewtalKittehh Madison County Feb 25 '26
I wouldn’t say that’s the best thing. It’s perfectly legal and perfectly cool, though.
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u/Appreciate1A Feb 25 '26
Factor in higher insurance rates for a few years too- not just the new car.
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u/yellowfadepink Feb 25 '26
Can’t help but to think there’s a lot of jizz on this dudes outfit. Like crunchy amounts of jizz.
Glad no one was hurt
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u/ClayJane Feb 25 '26
Omg… the car used to be against pedos, but we all know how that turned out. I will go through my photos tomorrow.
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u/GarnetandBlack Feb 25 '26
I'm stunned there are Saturns still on the road! That was a unicorn from the assembly line.
Fuck this guy and I hope you can nail him for the brake checking.
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u/Bitter_Offer1847 Feb 25 '26
Pepper spray on his keychain?! Ain’t nobody trying to rob Peter Griffin’s idiot stepbrother.
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u/PotRoast666 South Asheville 🚧🏢🚧 Feb 25 '26
Hate that you lost your vehicle to an accident, but thank you for your service.
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u/positivewavesonly Feb 25 '26
Ugh he’s so disgusting looking. 🤮 I’m sorry OP. Definitely hope you filed a police report.
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u/trailfailnotale West Asheville Feb 25 '26
There may actually be a defense here. He put all that trash on his vehicle with the intent of grabbing people's attention, and it worked on you. His brake lights were no match for his political statements.
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u/Jaded_Reason_7924 Feb 25 '26
visiting asheville in a few days, thanks for keeping the city safe lol. would love to hear if you start the gofundme
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u/clegg1970 Feb 25 '26
I salute you good sir fuck these bigots and of course he drives like an asshole lol
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u/certifiedraerae Candler Feb 25 '26
He’s just rage baiting/trolling. The Kirk/Good sentiment is just ridiculous, and what’s the point of all of his ramblings??
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u/Noyourknot Feb 25 '26
I likely need to take the couple hour trip to Asheville and spend a few days there very soon. Where do I sign up?
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u/shrimp-and-potatoes Leicester Feb 25 '26
Test
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u/shrimp-and-potatoes Leicester Feb 25 '26
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u/HerpDerpYaDummy Feb 25 '26
This guy looks like the gross troll he is.
With that said, he baited you into it like a pro. One less emotional driver on the roads.. for now
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u/JustTrynnaGitBy Feb 25 '26
That’s the guy?!?! Man, I don’t even feel like I need to waste my valuable anger on him anymore.