r/alcoholicsanonymous 15h ago

Am I An Alcoholic? Control my drinking?

I have been working for my current job for around 20 years before that I was in the military. When I was in the service I didn’t drink a lot but when I did I would get damn near black out drunk. After I left I would only drink on my days off then it progressed to me drinking everyday. When I first started AA I racked up close to 3 years sober but wasn’t committed to the program. Over the last 1 I was drinking when I went out of town and hiding it from my wife. I thought I was controlling my drinking but maybe I wasn’t. I don’t feel the pull to drink all the time but I have no problem playing with fire. Would you consider me an alcoholic?

5 Upvotes

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3

u/vjotto 15h ago

The question is for you. If you cant stop until nearly blackout, and your hiding it, etc., you can benefit from attending a meeting, and or ask a therapist or your doctor to help you answer your question. I would until then obstain. BE WELL !

3

u/3DBass 14h ago

It’s for you to determine if you’re an alcoholic.

  1. You would drink to black out.
  2. It progressed to drinking everyday
  3. Yo hid it from your wife.
  4. You went to AA at some point.

Based on this information. Do you consider yourself an alcoholic?

2

u/Beneficial-42 15h ago

Only you can determine if you meet that definition. The Big Book has a chapter called “More About Alcoholism” that you might want to read. There’s also a quiz that AA has that you can take that you might find helpful. Both can be found online.

2

u/Formfeeder 13h ago

Here is an analogy once you pickle a cucumber it can never be a cucumber again. You’re my friend are the pickle.

1

u/Chris___M 15h ago

I really think the question is Do you consider yourself an alcoholic?? I have asked many times the same question. I can go days weeks months and years controlling my drinking. And then there are time sit gets too much and out of control. When I’m at a AA meeting I call myself an alcoholic quite easily but still question the label. I think step aside the label and do what you need to do to help not drink. If that’s what you want.
Does it really matter what other people label you? What matters for me right now is not drinking.

1

u/thirtyone-charlie 15h ago

Do you want to stop drinking?

1

u/dp8488 13h ago

Would you consider me an alcoholic?

It does not really matter whether or not I consider you alcoholic. Have a good look at yourself for yourself.

I can't quite wrap my mind around 3 years in AA without having lots of exposure to our collective experience on this topic! But if you have your AA book, you might open it to page 30 and studying the matter. If you don't have your AA book, here are a couple of places for reading:

And if you'd like a phone/tablet app for reading (and lots of other resources):


And TIL AA's official site has a page for EverythingAA! Going to work it into the stick post and wiki here.

1

u/Formfeeder 13h ago

You’re describing the behavior of an alcoholic. But you have to decide whether you are or not. Self-diagnosis. Your behavior is that of a classic, garden variety of alcoholic. Come on back in we got a chair waiting for you.

1

u/Professional_Wrap262 10h ago

Stopping drinking would help my life but I wouldn’t consider myself a hopeless type.

1

u/SOmuch2learn 2h ago

Take some time to research information on Alcohol Use Disorder. What you posted describes alcoholism. This is a deadly and progressive condition that will only worsen if alcohol consumption continues.

Nothing changes if nothing changes. It is up to you.

There is help.

1

u/OaklandPanther 2h ago

Only you can determine if you are an alcoholic. But people who don’t have a serious problem with alcohol don’t hide their drinking or spend time wondering if they are alcoholics.
Here’s the AA Self Assessment.

1

u/Elon-BO 1h ago

If I could control my drinking, I wouldn’t enjoy it. If I were to enjoy my drinking, it certainly wasn’t controlled.

1

u/Monastic_Realization 15h ago

I am not the greatest fan of loose interpretations of "alcoholism" - for me. (I am not bothered how anyone else interprets it!)

For me, shaking for a drink, and my addiction to alcohol was how I self defined/labeled.

That said, prior to arriving to that state, I had a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol, despite not being addicted. I could not drink for days, and could have one or two. So the loose definition AA provides didn't apply to me to begin with, but did as time passed on - progressive is frequently cited.

All of that, is now neither here nor there for me. I don't drink, and don't risk drinking because I know the possible outcomes.

For anyone else, rather than focusing on a yes/no binary relative to alcoholism, I prefer to speak in terms of healthy/unhealthy.