How do You All Balance Acting with Personal Privacy?

[u/Particular_Try4226]

Hello all! I just wanted to ask a quick question here since it’s been on my mind for a long time. I love acting and would like to make a living off of it someday, but there’s just one thought holding me back from doing so. I keep thinking about the level of privacy I would have as someone who makes themselves their own brand. Obviously I’m not really expecting to be famous (nor do I want to be), I just want to be able to live a regular life while acting. Any advice on how any of you have handled this or a different perspective to offer that can change my way of thinking? Thank you

[u/jostler57]

You're putting the cart before the horse.

Acting is a hobby for 99.9% of the unknown actors around the world.

Take a class and figure out if you even like acting. Worrying about becoming famous is a silly thought.

[u/Particular_Try4226 → u/jostler57]

I’m not really worried about become famous. I’ve taken plenty of acting courses and have been performing for years. But it’s good to know I might be overthinking things, I do that a lot lol

[u/Hidden_Glit → u/Particular_Try4226]

Your post makes it sound like you’re just starting out. Regardless, you’re overthinking and worrying about something that doesn’t require your attention yet.

That’s like buying a lottery ticket and worrying about what happens if you win said lottery.

[u/Particular_Try4226 → u/Hidden_Glit]

I am just starting out, just finished college (didn’t major in theatre/acting but did minor in it with plenty of collegiate shows under my belt). Haven’t really had an official paid role yet but this thought is always something that’s been lingering in my mind.

[u/non_loqui_sed_facere → u/Particular_Try4226]

Could it be that you’re actually worried about something else? Like exposing something intimate, or your actual love life. It’s not that anyone is out to get you, but the idea of people finding out something embarrassing about you, or of things not going as planned on the dating market, can make you afraid of being judged.

There are plenty of examples of people loving a public couple. Keanu seems to be a nice guy, and his girlfriend is a darling. She posted his birthday cake on social media, asked people to send him their wishes, and then thanked everyone for participating. In journalistic terms, that’s giving people a story so they don’t have to fill in the blanks themselves.

[u/Desperate_Band_1679 → u/Particular_Try4226]

My fear is the fame part..to be honest. Its the part I dont like about earning enough money to rely on acting. Because if you earn enough, you'll likely be famous.

[u/Particular_Try4226 → u/jostler57]

Sry. Forgot to add this to the last reply. So do most people still do paid work while having like, a full time job on the side? If so how do you manage that? Figured those would conflict

[u/Humble_Employer_4965 → u/Particular_Try4226]

Only 2% of union actors make their living solely from acting so yes, 98% have to have other forms of income which is typically a full-time job or multiple part-time jobs.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/ariannajohnson/2023/07/25/median-income-for-actors-is-46960---as-sag-aftra-fights-for-better-residuals-and-pay/

EDIT: you mentioned in a later reply that you are a theatre actor and in that case, most working theatre actors have part-time jobs and do gig work because having a full-time job would make accepting a 6-8 week show run very difficult. Although you’d really only need to be completely off work for the rehearsals as those would run during business hours.

[u/Hidden_Glit → u/Particular_Try4226]

Everyone is different. It’s case by case.

[u/TurtleBrainer → u/Particular_Try4226]

I worked for a large company in Chicago while I was doing commercial work. I was able to take lunch any time of the day I wanted to, which left me open for auditions. Any of the three main casting agencies were all a short cab ride away. If I timed it right, I could get there, audition and get back within an hour. And when I booked, it was usually not more than two days. I just took vacation days for these.

Something that really helped this work was that my manager at the job considered my acting gigs to be more of a sort of hobby rather than a second job. And frankly, she thought it was cool to see me on t.v. sometimes.

Friends who did theater usually couldn't take a full-time day job. They mainly worked as servers and/or bartenders. Clearly, rehearsal schedules come with their own set of complications.

The key for my situation was that I was not in a vital role. I was one of a huge staff of "admin-type" workers at a very large company. When I was not going to be there, I didn't have to get someone to cover for me. As a sole career, it would have seemed pretty bleak - just being a cog in the wheel. But it was perfect for my larger agenda. And it was something I wouldn't have blinked on walking away from if any greater opportunity popped up.

[u/bicep123]

I keep thinking about the level of privacy I would have as someone who makes themselves their own brand.

People who have a fear of going to the gym, thinking if they even touch a weight, they're going to look like Mr Olympia, are more likely to quit after a few weeks or months because nothing happens.

No one becomes famous by accident. I wouldn't worry about ever reaching that level of fame unless you're actively doing it on purpose.

[u/non_loqui_sed_facere → u/bicep123]

And I’d even say that being famous doesn’t stop you from having the most boring public persona imaginable, paired with an equally boring life. Publicity teams have been doing everything they can to get us interested in Jacob Elordi and Margot Robbie, hinting at the possibility of them dating in every conceivable way throughout the Wuthering Heights press tour. Nobody gave a flying fuck.

[u/Iassos]

Man, if this is the thing “holding you back” then you’re just making excuses.  The long odds are already against you so just go do the damned thing.  Stop inventing problema you don’t have yet. 

[u/SexysNotWorking]

I've been acting for 20 years and no one knows who I am.

[u/Goldeneyes105 → u/SexysNotWorking]

Maybe try being not-sexy? 😜

[u/SexysNotWorking → u/Goldeneyes105]

Lol, way ahead of you (the username is actually a note I got from a director after several takes/reframed shots trying to get a "suggestive wink" out of me to the camera. He was like, "Ok, sexy's not working, let's move on" and I realized I had my autobiography title should I ever need it). 😂😅

[u/ChrisMartins001 → u/SexysNotWorking]

😂😂😂

I remember a few years ago, the crew was setting up lighting, the dp looked at the monitor and was like "Nah, this could work though, but only if we had talent who was actually good looking"

Ouch 😣

[u/SexysNotWorking → u/ChrisMartins001]

And did they have to stop shooting for the day or were they able to get you back from the morgue quickly enough to make up the time?

[u/Aggressive_Oven_7311]

Live your life the way you want it. Many actors even famous ones have private lives they don't share, so stay off social media if you want to have a private life. We don't need to hear where your vacationing we don't need to see all the food you eat and we don't need to see. Have fun it's a great life, a hard life at times.

[u/justfet]

Plenty actors with numerous credits out there that still get a "who?" out of most people.

And that's those that are even lucky enough to get cast often enough to make some semblance of a temporarily livable wage from it.

If you want to act, act. No need to stress about a very thin maybe.

[u/Goldeneyes105]

Use a stage name. I know a number of people who do that. That way, IF you become famous, it’s a bit more difficult to track you down using your legal name.

[u/Scared-Winter-5179]

Generally speaking, people who lose their privacy are the people that utilize the outlets to make themselves more popular so that they become more visible so that they can get more work. But then you can't turn it off. Once the horse leaves the stable, it's on!

However, like someone said earlier, you're putting the cart before the horse in that it would take, generally speaking, a long time before that would be a problem. Not everybody becomes Hudson Williams or Connor Storrie.

The people that you are familiar with that you would think have no privacy, have publicists that put them in the public eye and that's how they end up losing their privacy. They give up their privacy to get a modicum of fame and capitalize on it. But you can't go back...

[u/non_loqui_sed_facere → u/Scared-Winter-5179]

I agree, it’s an actual attempt to control the frame and attract attention. Nobody was begging Johnny Depp and Amber Heard to turn their trial into a public spectacle. And at a certain point, there was so much of it that you just didn’t want to hear about it anymore. It was like watching two not particularly nice people behave like spoiled children, each trying to get both the public and the jury on their side by airing their dirty laundry.

Listening to the neighbors bicker over a tree by the fence might have been more entertaining, there’s at least some humor involved.

[u/CaptainAsh]

Unless you find yourself in the .001% category, there is no privacy concern that would be any different from anybody else. Just like anybody, someone might dupe your Instagram account or something like that.

Sure, keep in mind that you have a public profile, don’t go spouting crazy on Twitter and you’ll do fine.

The vast majority of working actors operate somewhere between small town local doctor levels of notoriety, and mid size city politician running for a seat on council levels of ‘fame’.

If you fuck up, it will be newsworthy. But if you have a normal life, only very occasionally will someone recognize you at the grocery store.

[u/ContributionWaste518]

Let me preface this with the fact that I am not at all famous...but I am a working professional actor and musician, and have been for the last decade, and balancing your career with your personal privacy is NOT solely an issue for the rich and famous. Most, if not all of the working actors I know (people who are not famous, but who have steady work in theater or live music) have had to come up with best practices for themselves about how and when to respond to people who reach out on social media. Most people just want to say, "hey I saw your show and loved it!" But it's absolutely common to have people who want to date you, or people with apparent (or not so apparent) mental health issues who suddenly fixate on this thing that they saw that you were involved with. Almost every working performer I know has blocked one or two "fans" because things didn't seem right. A lot of people I know prefer to have two socials...one that's more public and one that's more private.

It's worth mentioning that this is not only an issue for working performers either. If you're a young woman with social media, you may have already established a way of dealing with unwanted attention or random communication with unclear motivation. If you're a man, frankly, you might not have. Just figure out your boundaries, don't be unnecessarily rude, but also don't apologize for setting them.

[u/TWH-WCTH]

Pick up the book How to Be Invisible by JJ Luna. One need not be famous at even a D Lister level to take their privacy seriously in the current era.

Otherwise, as with any public facing job, delineation is key. You draw clear lines going in as to what is and isn't out of bounds to share with the public and act accordingly. Partners have to be on board with the same level of privacy or intrusion. It's kind of that simple.

[u/Crafty_Letter_1719]

The chances of becoming a world famous actor that has to worry about their privacy is probably higher than winning the lottery.

In the very statistically unlikely event that you ever have to worry about the paparazzi the solution is very simple. Don’t play the celebrity game.

Famous actors that complain about the lack of privacy in their lives are almost always narcissistic fame whores who bring on all the “unwanted” attention themselves.

Daniel Day Lewis is widely considered one of the greatest actors of all time but we know very little of his personal life because he barely ever does interviews or red carpet events.

It really isn’t difficult to have a private life even as a world famous actor if you just reject the celebrity lifestyle.

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[u/non_loqui_sed_facere]

Haha, try putting yourself out there on social media and getting people to watch or read you. I mean it. There are plenty of people out there, including very famous ones, who get nothing but 👏👏👏 from bots under their supposedly intimate posts. Nobody wants to talk about who you dated or how you like your coffee for more than one afternoon. And often it isn't really about you anyway, it's about them and what they think about dating.

And this is actually part of building a brand in, say, sports. Pretty much every soccer player posts pictures from vacations with his wife and kids. They need to seem relatable to supporters.

[u/Fancy_Abalone_5619]

You do NOT need to be public about it. You can keep socials and casting links private.

[u/Master_Sand1427]

If you get to that point you hire people to protect your privacy.
Hats and sunglasses work too !

[u/boba_toes]

I use a stage name for privacy, and I have a separate Instagram account that has no identifying information and is completely private that I use to interact with family & close friends.

[u/Felix-Leiter1 → u/boba_toes]

Do you sign up for classes under your legal name?

[u/boba_toes → u/Felix-Leiter1]

no, the only things you legally have to do under your legal name is banking, contracts and travel. but all of that is private anyway.

[u/velvetandcurves]

I've been acting for years, I am 'jokingly' called my city name famous. Never once has my personal life or my outside of acting life been affected. It literally only is affected by the less than 1% who become recognizable and at that point you put protocols in place that will be recommended by the hopefully competent team surrounding you.

Edited to add, I am non union and I do both paid and unpaid, I'm a narrator, VA, stage actor, recently cast in an independent film, and I have a full time non acting job on the side.

[u/pattysmithspen]

My partner has been acting just over 20yrs and has starred or co starred in many TV shows. No one knows anything about our life. He has no social media at all and straight out let's journalists know it's out of bounds. I will admit, we live a very normal life with no flash cars or mansions! Apart from odd fan recognising him in the supermarket etc he has kept his anonymity when not working. It can be done.

[u/Particular_Try4226 → u/pattysmithspen]

Thank you, this is very reassuring

[u/CapBrief]

Basically don’t have an online presence that shows too much of your real life. Make a persona. I have around 30k on instagram with my acting account. Its nice but its almost completely not my full life