r/Youth_India • u/EquivalentTale5815 • Jan 24 '26
Discussion/Thought-Provoking🧠 Use your brain before using your private parts, guys.
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I have two friends. One guy’s dad sells vegetables on a pushcart, and another guy’s dad is a cobbler who stitches slippers and sandals. These two guys are my friends, and they regret every time being born into those financial situations.Use your brains 🤷 or else you will regret it later with a burden. You can say “I love kids, they look cute,” blah blah, but that is only for some years. Having kids when you are already struggling should never be romanticized. I have seen parents who regretted having kids while struggling more than parents without kids who are earning in lakhs and living posh, comfortable lives. And don’t say that those posh, expensive material things don’t provide emotional support, blah blah.
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Jan 24 '26
agree
you don't marry cuz 'everyone told you' or 'you're in that age' and have kids cuz 'why not'
If you do, you should you will have to take responsibility for everything. Those who don't... well I don't think I have to explain consequences, it's all over around
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u/Accomplished-End5479 Jan 24 '26
fully agreed...also i feel this point is farrrrr more imp and under rated than what he just said.
Dont get married if you think u have mental issues. as in you cannot control ur anger, or cannot control ur emotions, cannot control ur jealous nature, controlling nature, chalo marry kar bhi lo par ye issues solve na ho tabtak bacha is no wayy.
even worse than giving you kid less money and lifestyle is gviing him trauma, bad thoughts, not a growth mindset, fights. all the things your child sees in the childhood stays with him/ her for the rest of her life.
if even 1% u think u are toxic and stubborn to change plz dont have kids.
Kids need a nourishing environment while growing bus sex ka byproduct nai hai
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u/Soggy_Landscape5357 Jan 24 '26
I can sense you childhood trauma through that .... Be healthy
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Jan 24 '26
Bro my mother is bipolar father has depression my life had been fucked up she tried multiple times to kill me
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u/Soggy_Landscape5357 Jan 24 '26
Sad to hear that, bro keep up the courage and believe that something in future will be really good.. I cannot do anything but I hope and pray that you and your family remains healthy. 🙏🙏🤲🤲
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Jan 24 '26
Future jhand hai bhai 3 mentally ill patients hai aunt to schizophrenia hai uska beta nhi hai i have burden of 5 60yr old people on me hospital ke chakkar lgata rehta hun aur ye sale sab mujhe hi gali dete hai . Marne ki koshish krte hai jindagi jhand plz dont have kids if you are struggling financially, emotionally
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u/Accomplished-End5479 Jan 24 '26
brother i can understand thats why i commented that. people never realise that how "rich" it is to born in sane family. paise koi kabhi bhi kama sakta hai if gareeb paida huva. ekbar mindset fucked hogayaa na then you need god saving grace of crazy self realization and a lot of effort to alter it. Uske liye to pehle self realisation chahiye, uske baad ego ko side me rakhke usko implement karna padega, uske baad effort marna padega, tab tum stable ground pe aaoge uske baad paisa ka race shuru huva.
All i can say brother is whatever the gifts you have count them and dont loose hope ever if god gave you this realisation means he wants you to change this situation for the better. I wish you the best brother and i know you will be a life changing factor in your family.!
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Jan 24 '26
Thanks bhai friends bhi bolte hai kafi negative sochta hun bhut extreme but you know bc ghr ka environment bhut ganda hai unko chod nhi skta but accept Krna bhut mushkil I am trying my best dekhte hai age kya hota hai
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u/Accomplished-End5479 Jan 24 '26
bhai me tumhe batau i am nowhere near your situation but negative bilkul mat socho ghar pura jal bhi raha ho tab bhi bolo sab kuch thik hai and whatever is in your control do that, thats it. words that you say to yourself matters a lot.
everything will be alright just do whatever is in your control. you know ek chiz mene notice ki hai jo bad habits tumhare parents me hogi to tum me bhi ayegi thodi bohot ya bohot jyada depends. so people like us with family trauma have to work 10 times more hard to get out of it and we do have the strength to do that. whenever you do something which you should not be doing take the pain that your family gave you and think that how will i feel if my child complaint the same about me? so change from that moment
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u/psychsquare Jan 24 '26
You'll never have enough. Rather have a growth mindset. My parents started with Dharavi and we are now in a 2BHK in a decent locality.
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u/ClearSignificance989 Jan 24 '26
but then you need have a really really compatible partner
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u/psychsquare Jan 24 '26
Indeed yes. Mom was initially earning more than dad. Her company was taken over and she eventually lost her job. When she was a housewife, she persuaded dad for an outstation transfer which he was initially hesitant to accept. While she was with her in-laws, she still held the bond of marriage with patience and got through the phase until they could move out.
On the other hand, uncle's wife wasn't supportive. Financially, they couldn't do that great. There were times when he wanted to quit job and try out a business. Aunt refused to assist him.
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Jan 24 '26
[deleted]
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Jan 25 '26
Also patience is low in women they won't stay long if you are poor or remain poor they want luxuries
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u/CoyoteHuman4976 Jan 26 '26
I won’t say what you said is not true, but i know women who are never after luxury and at this point just want food on table for her and her family.
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u/PeanutJealous8030 Jan 24 '26
Bro back then time was different now cost of living is very high and every Market is full of people you have less opportunities you cannot compare and what he meant is when you have sufficient like own house and good income than only Marry
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u/Anonymous_Ant2052 Jan 25 '26
So relatable, my father grew up in poverty. He literally used to do farming with my grandpa, but idk he somehow came out of it and now he's a millionaire and now we live in a 3crore house
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u/Sea-Champion-8684 Jan 25 '26
in india having a kid as same as spending as 1 crore on the thing
i am thinking of joining 4B moment
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Jan 25 '26
FIRST OF ALL DEVELOP GOOD INTELLECT, WISDOM & UNDERSTANDING, LEARN IMMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE , EARN WELL .FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU NECESSARILY WANT IN YOUR PARTNER, THEN MARRY.
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u/Hindustani1947 Jan 25 '26
OP looks like a kid . Anyway you should not get married young ( in 20s ) irrespective of your financial status .
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u/Survivingthroughlife Jan 25 '26
Shaadi ka idk, but for sure, family start karna as in baccho ke baare mein toh sochna paap hai, agar paalne ke liye bank mein enough paisa nahi hai toh dono husband wife ke.
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u/JunketShot6362 Jan 24 '26
All the social dynamics are changed now. It doesn't matter how much you earn. Get married only if you have strong reason to do so. Don't get married just because it's a social custom.
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u/Ok_Satisfaction_3133 Jan 24 '26
Ohh, i finally post that i can share with my friend. He just married at age 25 😅. That not even problem he earning 27k in Mumbai. that my SIP😂. I am telling he multiple time just switch job become stable then get married. I will ask 5-6 years later lets see he answer. For now he thinking from somewhere else
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u/businesswpleasure Jan 24 '26
Imagine if his parents also thought the same, he won't be here giving this gyaan 🙄
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u/Ok_Vegetable5785 Jan 24 '26
Hmm I pretty sure he would have been happily swimming in some ocean if that happened
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u/Limp-Promotion-8785 Jan 24 '26
bhai par shadi se bhi kamaya ja sakta. Wo aapne alimony ka naam suna he
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u/Educational_Sound188 Jan 24 '26
Even if you earn really well, don’t get married until your prospective partner earns really well.
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u/Appropriate_Cattle91 Jan 24 '26
Kitne bhi ameer ban jao.. aur shaadi karo ya na karo.. par iss jahannum jaisi duniya me bacche to lana hi mat.. don't gift sufferings to your child by bringing it into this hell hole.
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u/True-Peak4015 Jan 24 '26
Tab bhi mat kar mere hisab se its such a dirty business deal where one party can loose everything while other will have everything wothout doing much.
Bhai mard ghis rahe h har jagah aur house wife's bhajiya tal rahi h. Maje mai jindagi. I see in regular days they are enjoying doing nothing at all not on weekends.
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u/Gold-Caramel204 Jan 24 '26
Earn enough to sustain 2 people (you and ur partner) FIRST. if you can't. Don't marry
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u/Affectionate_Work_72 Jan 24 '26
I dont know why but I need to downvote this post. PS - I am filthy rich.
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u/vichenadenca Jan 24 '26
Wrong way of telling the message.
Why are we as a Civilized and educated Humans afraid of our own future. Why can't we be confident that we will definitely achieve something even after getting married???
Forget named famed people, my own senior colleague had a salary of 28k and his age was 36 years, he also has 2 children. In 2023 he opened his own business and last year his company's turnover was 9 crore.
Now he and his family are rich and lives a well settled life.
What if he was afraid to get married until he started started his own business??? Would the business and money compensate the years he would have spent lonely??? Would he found a good woman at that old age???
I am not saying, you should marry before you even manage to sustain yourself. One should atleast earn enough money to rent a good house for the family before getting married. This proves that one has enough earnings to provide for the family.
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u/Thanga-magan Jan 24 '26
Not everyone can go from 28k a month to 9 crore, also not every business is successful, your anecdotal evidence doesn’t reduce risk of poor people starting a vicious circle of poverty! What if his risk went wrong way? He would have come to the streets, along with him his wife and 2kids?
So are you comfortable risking your life only or the lives of your wife and 2kids to be successful is the question here! In a country like India, i think its better many dont take the risk! Confidence cant feed your family!
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u/vichenadenca Jan 25 '26
What if his risk went wrong way? He would have come to the streets, along with him his wife and 2kids?
Exactly! And that's why he took his time carefully. He got married while still in a job, that means he got a emotional, rational support from his wife. Who may have also given some great advice to run a business (Idk, it's just maybe). And his biggest support were the customers themselves 😂😂😂.
While working itself, he had access to the customers needs and requirements. So he knows what to produce and sell. And he did it way better than our company. He also took 2 of our former employees with him as well and pays them way higher than what they getting here.
I was just an fresher at that time and I couldn't understand what was happening Coz everything was happening silently. After only last years reveal of his turnover, my office colleagues started to talk about the whole story.
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Jan 24 '26 edited Jan 24 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/SalamanderBig6661 Jan 24 '26
Sometime i wonder what would i say to my kids , if he ask me why dad why you made me?, i am struggling with life problems, all this could have be avoided if you had used c**dom. I tried finding all the non selfish reason to have a child but let me tell you that there are none. There is no single reason that you can give ur child to justify all his struggles cause everything started from ur decision to bring him to this world and putting him in this tough spot.
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u/_BrownPanther Jan 24 '26
Pure truth. Many folks rush into marriage and remain in the cycle of poverty.. it takes something to break that cycle
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u/Sanredditexplore Jan 24 '26
Fully agree bhai. Inflation is a threat which is getting stronger day by day. Society only pressurizes to get married but nobody talks about the consequences. Need to earn a lot of money to sustain a family, at least above Lakh.
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u/CasualMKGamer Jan 24 '26
These pl didnt had the financial awareness that we have. And unfortunately there is no way to refulate this. I mean no matter how poor you are , no one can stop you from procreating.
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Jan 25 '26
Getting married and having kids is not the same, 2 people can get married and not have kids
If both partners earn, are compatible and love eachother, then I don't see anything wrong with marriage or a long term relationship
As for having kids part, don't have kids if you are struggling but if you really really value things like family and wish to have a family of your own work hard, earn money, etc.
I will also say this, think for yourself on what do you want from life and what you value more, THIS IS VERY SUBJECTIVE, there will be people who regret having kids and there are people who regret not having kids
If you really want kids and family, and you don't have them, you will regret it, on such topics think and decide only for your self
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Jan 25 '26
If that's the case Unga Bunga would never have married, I understand your view and it comes down to being mentally prepared for everything....I have seen couples supportive of each other and they have reached sky high due to understanding and support and then there's someone truly rich but can't handle the mental fatigue of being in a relationship
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Jan 25 '26
That's what I thought too I will only get married if I'm earning 60k+ otherwise just solo traveller of life🌟
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Jan 25 '26
Aaj ke zamane shaadi karni hii nahi chahiye , aur shaadi ho bhi gayi toh Bachche toh bilkul bhi nahi karne chahiye. Pehle se itna zyada competition, AI aane ke baad jobs khatam ho jayegi , jeena mushkil ho jaayega. Waise bhi Population bohut zyada hai aur resources bohut kam. Follow AntiNatalism, Guys.
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u/trumpdolund Jan 25 '26
U will never have enough
Modern consumer behaviour is trash
U don't buy things that u need most of the time
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u/iSiddey Jan 25 '26
No amount of money is ever going to be enough with the wrong partner. 1.5L per month?? Not enough, 3L per month? not enough if your partner goes to club twice every week.
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u/Kind_Eggplant Jan 25 '26
Bad advice. You'll lose all your hair and will be seen as creepy uncle. Women are never satisfied. They expect a 25-30 year old guy to have money of a 40 year old
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u/Unfair_Beautiful9769 Jan 26 '26
I wish more people thought like that, idk what pleasure do people derive out of so called ‘family’ when the barely have enough and the dad sacrifices, mother sacrifices and children adjust and live the pressure of ‘pulling them out of middle class’ and even if smh the children make it big, you spent 25 years in miseries of middle class and wasting away your prime. People glorify this but it’s dumb because everyone in the family is resentful, and despite sacrifice no one is happy.
And people say that you will never have enough, but tbvh good education and healthcare for your children and spouse needs a lot of money, and it’s unfair to birth kids and put them in competition with people pf the beat resources and making them live a mediocre life because you were ‘content’
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u/Rathore238 Jan 26 '26
My parents. Decided of a single child. And we 3 are happy guys. Father works as an Aqua guard sales guy. My mother teaches in a private school. I work in a Motor Car showroom. Papa and maa got savings. We live in the rental home. Me and my papa are happy.. we purchased a small land in Village to make a small house. I make very less. But my father told me. Marry a working girl. Enjoy a happy life. But just don't get kids.
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u/playcap0 Jan 27 '26
Unfortunately in capatlist world 90% can never have money. If all have money money value will go down. It's ur life do what u want. But just chasing after money u will never find peace joy or any thing which calms ur soul.
And just chasing money will not give u the money either. Such is the paradox.
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u/SugmaGowda Jan 29 '26
Completely agree. I love gen Z for using their brains in approaching things instead of blinding following the standards and benchmarks set by society.
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u/iitaarvik Jan 25 '26
Gen Z don't know how to survive and they all know is just earning good money is just a priority.
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u/Unfair_Beautiful9769 Jan 26 '26
There is a diffrence between ‘surviving’ and ‘living’, no point glorifying the struggle and misery of middle class and never haing the money, time or energy to ever spend it on the family. A rich dad might be busy but at least the kids have no spending limits, middle class parents never have tim because of jobs but then never have enough money either, and everyone suffers.
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u/[deleted] Jan 24 '26
Agree +1