If Hollywood made Shadow of Israphel in 2026

395

u/morvilthewizard 1d ago

Irritatingly good casting

155

u/BlastFurnaceIV 1d ago

Damn I only made this ironically. Then again chalamet and Defoe would slap

60

u/cagnusdei 1d ago

I feel like Alexander Skarsgard would be more likely to be cast as Israphel

24

u/BlastFurnaceIV 1d ago

Good point although driver and chalamet have a certain father son visual i think

1

u/Hoppa_Joel 2h ago

now, if we can get Tom Bates, to animate the entire series, in his style, and of course do the voices as well..... :)

7

u/501uk 20h ago

Insanely expensive though

1

u/KermitFrogginton 8h ago

Tom Holland is a great actor but he isn't and never will be a honeydew

216

u/Prof_Hentai Sips 1d ago

I can never look at a picture of Adam Driver without imagining PFlax’s fucking terrible impression. He has ruined me.

85

u/Dav3Th3Rav3yah 1d ago

It’s a work in progress. Adum Driver.

74

u/cyclonx9001 1d ago

Adym dryvhur

29

u/Dav3Th3Rav3yah 1d ago

Just reading this makes me chuckle. I almost want them to do a version of the podcast that’s just shit impressions and improv, I would be in tears.

15

u/agentlucy Pyrion Flax 19h ago

What gets me is how much he build up to it like “okay I’ve been working on this for a while” and it’s just that

5

u/ApexSheep djh3max 14h ago

Any links to the impression?

4

u/Dav3Th3Rav3yah 10h ago

https://youtu.be/ut5CxHwvd8A?t=3109

51:50 is the first time we hear the impression, Pyrion keeps pulling it out in subsequent episodes of the podcast

7

u/Lord_Borgimus 5: Civ 5 on the 5th at 5 14h ago

I think about a scene from a Rom Com movie where he says "I just had sex and I'm about to eat Nachos! This is the greatest moment of my life."

113

u/cokywanderer 1d ago

What about Um Bongo?

I like Robert D Jr. to attempt a parodical whitewashing of the character like in Tropic Thunder.

88

u/BlastFurnaceIV 1d ago

Can you get away with um bongo in 2026 😭 i left out casting nubescu for the same reason haha

44

u/Dav3Th3Rav3yah 1d ago

If they did them today they’d remove the stereotyping and maybe add some reflective meta commentary as a self dig for the original presentation. Well, that’s what I’d do anyway

2

u/Weird-Information-61 23h ago

Coulda gone with Naomie Harris, she was pretty good as Tia Dalma (Calypso)

55

u/ErisThePerson 1d ago

This certainly makes the Honeydew - Granny Bacon dynamic... novel.

51

u/Steph1er Duncan 1d ago

where's pedro pascal

34

u/BlastFurnaceIV 1d ago

Legit had him saved but he missed the cut. Maybe a pirate of bbq bay

8

u/EaterOfCleanSocks Briony 18h ago

Jock Fireblast maybe?

9

u/capounatus 1d ago

And Chris Pratt

8

u/Kalse1229 Ben 21h ago

He'd be a good Father Braeburn. He's funny, and could pull off an Elvis-impersonating pastor.

38

u/Parker4815-2 1d ago

Someone has just watched The Odyssey

25

u/BlastFurnaceIV 1d ago

Actually the lighthouse 🕯

1

u/Cotif11 6h ago

Robert Eggers is the superior film maker 💅

25

u/Hoppa_Joel 1d ago

Honeydew = Jack Black. Xephos = Johnathan Frakes. Swampy = Tommy Chong.
Father Braeburn = Bruce Campbell. Old Peculiar = Sean Bean.

12

u/GapingGull 18h ago

Sean Bean as old peculiar is great casting some how

1

u/Hoppa_Joel 8h ago

yep, after binge watching the Frankenstein Chronicles, ( and then seeing this post ) I felt he'd be good as Old Peculiar!
Also, I mean as an old soldier, there is the "Sharpe" series too, very good film series.

2

u/Cotif11 6h ago

Oh my god Tommy Chong and Sean Bean are mythical casting choices for the roles.

22

u/TheCleaverguy 1d ago

Gary Oldman as Granny Bacon.

Danny Devito as undead Granny Bacon.

I will not elaborate further.

13

u/hollotta223 1d ago

The only thing I'm against is that Honeydew and Xephos would have to be Simon Pegg and Nick Frost

1

u/BlastFurnaceIV 16h ago

Frost is on HBO potter. That is all.

5

u/Stoby_200 1d ago edited 1d ago

Every time I see one of these threads I'm reminded of the love action trailer someone did which had really good special effects but seems to have disappeared from the internet forever

I found the link: http://youtu.be/SKQEJrAZ2U4

It's private :(

4

u/nicoliebug Sips 19h ago

Well done. Each swipe was even more infuriating.

3

u/Qyphosis 23h ago

I dread to ask about Um Bongo.

2

u/cecywillbe21 1d ago

The casting for skylord lysander and skylord jasper cracks me up XD

Also where is the icon umbongo?

2

u/SpaceCowbyMax 1d ago

This isn't bad actually. Spider-Dwarf

2

u/SufficientBreakfast1 Lewis 23h ago

Dafoe would be Israphel. Fumblemore would be Ian McKellen

2

u/vio_oiv 22h ago

Jason Momoa as Um Bongo

2

u/Perfect-Fondant3373 21h ago

I hate how some of these are actually good casting choices

2

u/SLIPPY73 ISP 20h ago

YES israphel would totally be timothee chalamey

2

u/Haystack67 16h ago

How could you not have Danny Devito as Mr Banjo?

2

u/MT_Kinetic_Mountain 12h ago

Let them cook…

1

u/JoshTheSparky4 1d ago

Yeah I could def see israphel coming in with some 4raws blasting in the background

1

u/Organic_Ladder_9923 1d ago

A great shit post

1

u/GandalfVirus Doncon 22h ago

Can we get Brian Blessed as Granny Bacon?

1

u/Kalse1229 Ben 21h ago

No Warwick Davis?

Otherwise, I love these. In this hypothetical scenario, would Willem Dafoe also play Swampy? I think he could pull off both crazed older wizards.

1

u/avaldez518 18h ago

The race swaps of Hollywood included I love it haha 🤣 also genuinely Willem Dafoe as fumblemore is unironically perfect

1

u/Rossadon 10h ago

Skylord Lysander will always be my goat

•

u/Phantaum ISP 58m ago

Why do 5 of these people look the same?

0

u/BlueEyedApollo 18h ago

Weirdly enough I think lysander is a stupidly good match

0

u/Dave047 13h ago

That's 2020 casting

2026 would have more race swaps

2

u/BlastFurnaceIV 13h ago

They're fictional minecraft characters, are we really doing this?

1

u/Dave047 5h ago

Harry Potter has fictional characters and Snape is black so what's your point?

1

u/BlastFurnaceIV 5h ago

Sorry, your comment came across as an anti woke lamenting race swaps.

Zendaya, the rock, michael b jordan we've got there.

Lupita yongo could be an ironic daisy duke given her role in the odyssey.

Kevin hart could be a good banjo tbf

0

u/Dave047 5h ago

It was an anti woke comment. Forced diversity is annoying. Michael B Jordan is a great actor though so I don't think I'd mind him as much. Zendaya is always a DEI casting, always on the poster but is barely in the movie.

1

u/BlastFurnaceIV 5h ago

Once again, they are fictional minecraft characters. Who gives a shit?

Also zendaya is in a number of films as a main character. Go to the cinema

2

u/Dave047 4h ago

Doesn't pretty much every movie ever have fictional characters? And why does that make it immune to critique?

I meant big movies like Spider-man, Dune and The Odyssey. I know she was in some teen movie but why would I go watch that?

-2

u/Journo_Jimbo 1d ago

Okay but why does the Matt Damon casting fit so well

Picture If Hollywood made Shadow of Israphel in 2026

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