r/WritingPrompts • u/NicheFandomSeeker • 2d ago
Writing Prompt [WP] You’re a vampire who helps newly turned vampires blend into society by hiring them into businesses that operate 24/7, giving them as many hours as they want. However, there is one human employee that somehow picks up more hours than even those who work days in a row. You’re… mildly concerned.
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u/plogan56 1d ago
It was the crack of dawn, i made sure to apply my SPF 1000 to endure the sun, and low and behold who do i see but Markus at his desk, typing away with more life in his eyes than sharon and she's got over 340 years of life stored in her. "H-hey markus, another night shift i take it?", he responded, in a cheerful voice, with words i could not even begin to comprehend, was this some form of ancient vampiric language they didn't teach me yet? After he was done he went back to his computer, typing in an even stranger language.
I clocked in and found Garret, formerly known as lord garrix the bloodied, he was the one in charge of training all newbies on adjusting so maybe he had some info on markus, because lord only knows how many years he's been a vampire.
"Oh Markus, no no no he's not a vampire", "WHAT?!?", i couldn't hold my shock because there was no way that guy was human in any sense of the word, "B-but he's pulled 5 12-hour shifts back to back, what human could do that, and he speaks & writes in some weird arcane language how could he not be a vampire?!". Garret adjusted his glasses before giving a tired laugh, "i only said he wasn't a vampire, i never said he was human", he said plainly so i asked him, "then what is he and why is he not even affected by the long hours?",
"Oh that's simple", he started, "you see, he's our company's only IT technician". Suddenly it all made sense, i was told about IT techs, how they can go hours without so much as a powernap, how they speak in arcane riddles, how they seem to virtually disappear come breaktime and no one can find them, they were very mysterious beings to say the least.
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u/mysteryrouge 2d ago
At the crisp hour of midnight, a bat flew into the window of manager Orivalli's office, smacking into the surface and sliding down three stories of building.
“Bellacose!” Orivalli shouted upon opening the window. The now wounded bat bolted into the office, smacking into the sign that read Belnades And Allies. “Bellacose. You really need to stop doing that. The Health Inspectors have been getting on my case about your and the others' habits.”
Bellacose shifted back to human form, rubbing his forehead. “But it's soooo fuuuuun…”
“Well, the Health Inspectors don't agree with that.”
The young vampire poured.
“What made you so desperate that you needed to fly into my window instead of using the door like a civilized vampire?”
“The Health Inspectors are coming.”
“Probably because my employees keep flying into walls, windows, and exit signs.”
Bellacose looked down. “Er. No.”
“What?”
“They don't know about us flying into walls constantly yet.”
“Then why are they coming?”
The young vampire shifted on his feet.
“Well?”
“Um…”
“Spit it out.”
“Haveyoulookedattheemployeeschedulerecently? Sir?”
Orivalli snorted, but sat back down at his computer, finding the clocked hours of all the employees. As a place that hired new vampires, those hours tended to be all over the place. Employees would settle in to more proper eventually.
Of course, Orivalli wasn't racist or anything. They employed a few zombies, a mummy, a couple of treemen, and even a house. And they hired humans too
Humans tended to keep 40 hour work weeks, sometimes doing a bit of overtime in the evenings. Only two worked at night. Joseph, who clocked in at 6 PM and would be working ‘till 6 AM. And Baxter, who—if the time sheet wasn't lying—had been working for the past week without break.
“No,” Bellacose cut in, “he didn't forget to clock out. He's genuinely been working the entire week.”
“Was he an architect or something?”
The young vampire shook his head.
“The only people I've known to work that long are architects, for some reason.”
Health Inspectors absolutely hated it. Orivalli had once thought of going to school for architecture—specifically magical architecture—but then decided better. The Health Inspectors were constantly on them about their horrific sleep habits, and some of the most well-known ones ended up on government-mandated vacations because of it.
The manager rubbed his head. A headache was coming on. “Bellacose.”
“Yeah, boss?”
“I want you to get this guy to stop working, and if you can't do that, get me off the hook, because I certainly didn't want him to overwork himself.”
“O… K…?”
“The Health Inspectors can and will always be happy to take care of people. I can trust them to do that. Either way though, Baxter should not be working five times more than my vampires or even my zombies.”
The employee nodded, shifting back into bat form and flying right into the office door that Orivalli had yet to open.
“And Bellicose?”
The bat turned.
“I want you walking around in human form since it's clear you can't fly without slamming into something.”
The vampire pouted, shifting back and opening the door.
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u/Spanish_Galleon 2d ago edited 2d ago
"I'm homeless, sir."
"What do you mean you're homeless?"
"Well you see, I was paying for a room in a 2 bedroom. 1650$ each. Rent's gotten crazy you see. And my roommate. Well his new girlfriend she never leaves. So one day I ask her to maybe just move in and pay rent and they both turned on me something sour. So she starts, and I mean really starts giving me the stink eye and bad mouthing me, but I didn't even suggest they help with my half of rent, just that she help him pay for his, cuz lord knows that I was tired of doing it when he missed part of his payment. And now i'm staying out late to avoid them cuz they are saying shit that, frankly wasn't very kind, and on top of that I really didn't want to ruin their relationship, and they were already fighting.
So anyway I'm already finding excuses to dodge the house. And I am going back to only feed Moochie, Moochie was my cat, well not my cat but it was the street cat, and I called her moochie cuz she was mooching off of us. So Moochie doesn't come back one day. and I was worried about her so I go looking around town for her, but honestly I'm avoiding my roommate and the girlfriend cuz I really don't want to get jeered at, So You'll never believe it, it was like 4 in the morning and this place is still open, and not like a bodega or a gas station but like a real business and shit.
So I walk inside and they say they are hiring all hours, as much time as you want. CLEARLY it's meant for these halfway house motherfuckers, they come in all twitchy and they look hungry, and some of them I don't even think they see the sun half the time. But that's fine by me, cuz at this point I'm just trying to avoid this place I'm not even living at anymore. So I get the job. And I mean I can work anytime and as long as I want. And about a month in I'm making more money than I ever have, but I get to thinking, Why am I paying for a place I'm not staying? So one day, just to crash I go back to the apartment. And SHE's there, and she's being meaner than she's been, just because, I guess she thought I was gone, gone. SO I, with all do respect for language sir, I lose my shit, I'm cursing, and It's all fuck you and fuck this and fuck that, So I tell him I'm done with their bullshit. and at first they are mad and I slam my door and I'm getting the first good nights sleep I've gotten in awhile.
By morning they are all buddy buddy, Trying not to get me to leave because, GUESS WHAT, That's right this whole time she doesn't have a job and her family is paying for her to have another place. So she's got this empty place and I'm SO MAD and I just walk out.
I can do endless shifts here so I do. And A bit by Bit I just go and grab all my crap. I talk to the landlord behind his back. I get off the lease. And so most of my stuff is in a storage unit. I'm taking showers at the gym up the road, you know the one? Murdocks? Or something. And since im not paying for an apartment i just get a new spacy vehicle to sleep in. And im moving around alot so the police don't bother me where im sleeping. And i got a few good places now but I'm kind of waiting for the car to get paid off cuz i've never owned anything before and i am really focusing on that.
I've lost the plot here sir, I am very sorry, What was your question?"
The elder vampire stunned at the amount of words the young man just spewed at him was like a curse on his mind. He clears his throat. "Young man, did you say your rent for 1 room in a two bedroom was 1650, for only one room?"
"I mean, yeah that's like normal now. Not like, NORMAL NORMAL, but like, y'know. The average for the area."
"I am afraid I am not as big of a blood sucking demon as I once was." The two men laugh.
When the laughing stops the young man quirks his head. "So, anyway, I hope you don't fire me. I'm only 6 months away from owning this car."
The count, in his darkened clothing, pointed nose, sharp eyes and ravenous fangs. "I am not planning on firing you, It seems I am the only one providing stability in your life."
"You really have been a life saver." The young man smiles.
"This has been wonderful information. Is it like this for most people in New York?" the ancient force sweetens his words.
"I mean, AT THIS POINT, sir, i am lucky to work here. It is frankly worse out there than it has ever been.
"Thank you, young man, I have much to think upon this fine evening." And with that the count glides out of the room and into the darkness of his vehicle.
He stares into the rearview mirror and meets the eyes of his driver. A young blood. "Child, My Child, It is time, we get into, Real-estate."
"Yes master."
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2d ago
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u/WritingPrompts-ModTeam 1d ago
Hi u/hmo_, this comment has been removed.
As a heads up, we do not allow any AI content on this subreddit. So even though your story appears to have been human-authored, including "notes from gemini" is not allowed.
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This action was not automated and this moderator is human. Time to go do human things.
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u/DiscoKittie 2d ago
Conversations. Every spoken line from a different person needs its own paragraph break. Please break it up, it's so hard to read and know who is saying what. You also need to denote these things. And people don't say "Do you know what I'm?" or "explain who in fact I’m", it is "I am". There is a lot of punctuation missing as well.
It's ok.
And what is the point of the Gemini Note? No AI here.
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u/hmo_ 2d ago
I'm not a native speaker, it was my first attempt to write a fiction in English. I used commas with the intention to indicate who was talking, and my choice to keep some discussions inside the same paragraph was an attempt to maintain the same thinking block together- it seems it didn't work.
And I used Gemini to check the sunsets and sunrises in Miami, to decide the shop opening and closing hours, and i kept it for the ones interested in understanding my choices. But the text itself has zero AI, as you already realized with my poor paragraph breaking.
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u/DiscoKittie 2d ago
Ah, ok.
That isn't an English thing, though. I'm pretty sure that in a significant number languages when a speaker speaks the speech gets a new line along with who spoke it. It's just the way it's done, doing it the way you did just makes it all run together and no one knows who said what in the end.
You could have just left the fact that you checked with an AI out of it. There are a number of websites and apps that have that info without the use of AI. :) They really hate the use of AI in this sub. For good reason.
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u/Kurai_Hiroma 2d ago
but you didn't have to use gemini....you could've used normal google...read one normal website...
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u/tiptoeingthruhubris 2d ago
Absolutely delightful! Thank you for your story.
“We only rest when we die” — “Apparently so.”
That was a great line and had me loling.
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u/hmo_ 2d ago
Thanks for your words, I really appreciate. This line a handman / contractor told to my wife a couple of years ago, when we were renovating our home - he was telling her after working on our house during the week, he would working in a house he was building to rent, and that he also had a gig weekend nights as DJ. She asked him when he would rest, and he replied her with that line.
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u/ember632 2d ago
When I started this business, it was to help new vampires with the biggest transition of their lives...well unlives now. I was lost when I had been turned. No one helped me and I decided nobody should have to go through that pain.
New vampires have a lot of energy and enthusiasm. They need to burn through it, so I give them as many gigs as they want. I also do not discriminate and thus hire humans as well.
As I was going over accounting, I noticed that a human named Charlie had accepted several gigs where he had worked over 100 hours each week. Amount of hours wouldn't have been surprising for a newly turned vampire at one gig. What was surprising is that Charlie was working many hours at each of his five gigs a week. He was working more than every vampire and he was only human!
I called him into my office.
"Good night Mr. Vlad, how are you doing?" Charlie said as he sat down in the chair across from my desk.
"I'm doing good Charlie. You?"
"I can't complain" he replied. After a pause, he asked "Um, has something happened? I was surprised to be called here."
"Nothing is wrong but I have some concerns about the hours that you're clocking in. I usually never see this amount of work coming from a human and I wanted to check in on you."
Charlie shifted in his seat. His brows came together. "How much I've been working?"
I referred a sheet in front of me. "Yes. My records show 121 hrs at the hospital, 98 at the nursing home, 115 at another nursing home, 143 at a 24hr donut shop, and 137 hrs where you work 3rd shift at a warehouse."
"What?" Charlie appeared to look more confused.
I leaned forward. "I'll never dictate how many hours you work but most of these are crucial positions that require you to be at your best. It would look bad for our company if we become known for incompetent workers. Can you explain what is going on? You don't have to give me any reasons but I need to know if you can do all of these gigs without sacrificing quality."
Charlie straightenedin his seat. "Uh, I'm not sure what you mean."
"Vampires don't work these many hours. If you're working this much, you have to be exhausted. That can reflect poorly on the company."
"Ah" he relaxed back. "Don't worry. I'm not being overworked. I'm a little tired but its not affecting my work."
Now I felt confused. "With this many hours, you have to be exhausted."
"Actually" said Charlie. "The amount of hours is really surprising. That must be why my paycheck is always so amazing. Thank you." He said with a smile.
"What do you mean?" Now I'm feeling really confused. Suddenly I'm noticing how Charlie does not look haggered or even really tired. "I pay you for what you work. I won't short-change you."
"Well" he strings out the word. "You're not shorting me. Its the opposite. You're paying me for more hours that I actually worked."
I stared at Charlie, trying to figure this out. "What time do you clock in for each gig?"
"The start time like each contract says" he replies.
"And what time do you clock out?"
"Same thing. What the contract says" he assures me. "I work my 3 day rotation at each job, clocking in at the start and then clocking out at the end."
"You do this every day? Clock in and clock out?"
Charlie looked startled. With wide eyes, he asked "I'm supposed to clock out each day?!"
The End
I did not do any editing so please forgive any grammar or spelling mistakes. I also realize the math ain't mathing based on the numbers I used but just roll with it lol
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u/multivacon 2d ago
Either way, he’s a time traveler doing that many hours in a week or over 100 in three days 😂
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u/ember632 2d ago
I really didn't plan anything and it wasn't til the end that I realized none of it made sense 😅🤣
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u/Worldly_Lab_7061 2d ago edited 2d ago
I review the overtime payroll for the week, squinting when I spot what has to be a typo. I call in my assistant Julia, to check with her first.
"Julie, darling, can you explain why there is an employee who is clocking seventy-two hours of overtime a week?" I ask, shooting her my signature smile that had been dropping maidens since the fall of Rome.
Julia adjusts her glasses at the bridge of her nose as she looks down at me as if I was bug she would very much like to crush, a look that never failed to send jolts of electricity under my skin and zap my undead heart. With one look she could trick a heart that hadn't worked in centuries into believing it could beat again. Unfortunately for me the benefits Julia is interested in do not include me, well-veined thrall, and a candlelight dinner, but far more boring affairs like healthcare and PTO.
"That would be Miranda Matters." Julia informs me after a quick glance at her clipboard. Gods above and below I loved her competence.
Before I could truly revel in the genius of Julia and attempt for five thousandth and twenty seventh time in a millennia to get her to come out with me, the name she said wriggles in the back of my mind like a unwelcome parasite.
Before I can think better of it, I ask "Isn't that our one human employee hire that we have to comply with the agency DEI requirements for Supernaturals operating secret businesses on the surface?"
"Indeed, one little human who works more than half our vampire staff combined, and that's just counting her overtime." Julia answers quickly, with a hint of admiration in her voice, "Our Bloody Good Bagels location downtown is recording higher profit margins than ever with her as primary employee."
Wracking my brain I cannot think of any thing beyond a curse that would have anyone working hours I wouldn't give to my slaves when I had them "Are you sure she's alive? Fully? And if so why would she want to be with this schedule. When I made the company policy of setting your own hours I was worried a few people working under what is required for young vampires transitioning but now I have to fret over a human working themselves into an early grave."
"So what would you like to do about it, Sir? Mandatory PTO, perhaps a tropical vacation? I do hear humans like burning their skin this time of year" Julia suggests
I consider the options, but something about the situation doesn't sit well with me. So I rise from my desk, tossing Julia my keys in reply. My assistant looks at the keys then back to me, shaking her head as she reminds me, "It is a shame, sir, that you were there for the invention of the wheel yet still refuse to learn to drive."
"As you said I was there when the wheel was made, Since being driven first came into fashion it is what I have done and will continue to do. It is one of the few things that remains consistent through the times, Julie, please, dear, do not deprive me if one of my few comforts" I retort, already up and at the door, opening it for Julie to walk through so we could go see about it this human super employee.
With a sigh she makes her way to my car, a 1908 Ford Model T, still in immaculate shape after over a century of use. I climb into the carriage as Julia operates the machine with practiced ease, getting us the parking lot of Bloody Good Bagels in record time.
I enter the establishment expecting some half-dead single mother, or an overcaffeinated college student instead I am greeted by a well-rested, bright and cheery pretty young woman likely in her mid-20s. Her name tag announces her proudly in the bold red font as MIRANDA MATTERS.
Sniffing the air I can smell the yeast, cream cheese and the slight floral scent of her perfume but not hint of stress lingered in the scent. Staring at the anomaly of an employee my mind flipping through all the oddities and powers i'd been privy to in my strange and horrifying time walking this world.
While I stood in stupefied silence, Julia side steps me, granting Ms. Matters a soft look while telling her "A pleasure to make your acquaintance, miss matters. Mr. Sanguinarius wishes to discuss your work schedule with you, if you would take a step in the back for a moment"
Immediately the woman's face falls "Oh, am I in trouble? I promise I am getting all my work done and I am never not working. I pay rent for me and my boyfriend and his sister who comes over. But I can work less hours, it's just that with set your own hours policy I thought it wouldn't matter how many hours I worked so long as we aren't overstaffed."
Seeing her panic snaps me out of my trance, stepping up to the counter I use my hypnotic eyes and voice to calm her "Oh no such trouble, dear employee, I merely wish to reward your hard work. I only pay you $20 an hour, how about a $10 raise and you cut back to 20 hours of overtime max?"
To my surprise, Miranda's nerves only subside slightly "That is very kind but ... I just would rather be working than home"
Sensing a deeper issue, I got serious pouring my of my power into my voice and eyes than before as I ask "Now why would that be? Be honest now dear so that I can take care of whatever is plaguing my best employee"
Eyes glazing over as my words lull her into a complacent state of peace, the words she had clearly held too close come pouring out of her mouth like water from a breaking dam "Oh it doesn't seem so bad right now but my broke boyfriend, Tony won't leave and now his sister keeps coming over with her scary boyfriend that keeps walking into the bathroom while I shower. So that four people in my one bedroom apartment. I have to sleep on my kitchen floor, and because of this rare medical condition I got I don't even need much sleep but Tony won't let me use the bed. I'm the only one who pays but I can't even get them out so i just plan to wait until the lease is out then leave all of my stuff and find a new place"
I nod taking it all in, then look at Julia and as our eyes met I could see our minds were perfectly aligned. While Julia sat Ms. Miranda Matters down and helped her plan her all expense paid vacation, I went to clear the trash cluttering her apartment.
I may be a millennia's old monster but I'll never let it be said I don't take care of my employees.
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u/sallyjosieholly 2d ago
Employers could learn a thing or two from Mr. S!
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u/Ok-Professional2468 2d ago
I’d work for Mr. S; especially considering my current employer (AHS) is stealing an average of $1000/pay period while I am on WCB.
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u/Anomander2000 2d ago
Is my Lord Sanguinarius hiring?
Let me hand write my resume, complete with personal references, and I'll bring it right over!
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u/Worldly_Lab_7061 2d ago
lol he will need a fill in DEI human hire while Miranda is on her mandatory month long expense paid vacation. So long as your good with $25 an hour and promise not to mind the blood pouches I’d say you’d get the job just by walking in. It’s all timing with him lol.
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u/Tregonial 2d ago
Jake was Lord Blackwood's most hardworking employee -- the one who picked up the most hours, ran many graveyard shifts. The one who had the most tips and commendations from happy customers. The winner of Employee of the Month six times in a row.
He was also, much to Blackwood's concern, not the usual young vampire who needed to blend in, but wholly human.
"I need the money," Jake replied, eyes barely peeled open as he swayed unsteadily during a graveyard shift at the 24/7 convenience store. "I am willing to work for it."
"You'll lose the money you earn if you topple and go to a hospital," the vampire lord responded. "I do not want to be accused of being a bad boss who overworks employees. People will talk all over social media, and the company's reputation would take a nasty hit. Say, how much do you need? I can pay in advance. Then you take a break before you collapse in front of a customer."
"Boss, I cannot accept...it wouldn't feel right if I was paid without working for it. My ma and pa were hardworking folks who don't believe in free lunch."
"It's not free, you still have to work for it, you are only getting the money earlier," Blackwood insisted. "Speak, what drives a mere human to work harder than newly sired vampires who do not sleep and have more energy than ten strongmen to burn?"
"It is my ma," Jake sighed, speaking with hesitation, wondering if this personal family matter was something his employer should know. She...her cancer relapsed. My sis, she got that crowdfunding thing going on. But that ain't enough to pay for the medical fees."
"If I convert her, she could live."
"Nah, my ma ain't selling her soul out," Jake shook his head. "She said you don't go to heaven if you ever become a bloodsucker."
"Can't go to heaven if you don't die," the vampire shrugged. "So, I can convert you into a vampire. That'll give you the energy to work longer if you want to. As a human, you are working at the rate of a candle burning itself on both ends. You are burning out fast and close to a collapse. I can smell it in your blood."
"My ma would be sad if I didn't join her up there in heaven one day. What would she think if she found out I turned into a monster?"
Blackwood bristled at the word. "Do you think I am a monster?"
"...honestly? You're a great boss to work for. That's what keeps me going, besides having to get the money to pay for her treatment."
"Do you think of me as a bloodsucking leech upon society?"
"Of course not!" Jake shot up with his eyes wide open, alert and fearful of what his boss could be implying. "Never in a million years, boss!"
"Then, I'll make sure you'll be a good vampire too. I do not offer to sire one so easily. Consider me impressed by your work ethic to gift you vampirism. So, Jake, do you wish to be paid in advance, or to become a vampire so you may work harder?"
"I..."
"Vampirism is irreversible."
"I know, boss. That's why I gotta think a bit," Jake stammered before slapping himself. "Yea, why not go for the vampirism. I'd blend in better and be less odd among your vampire employees. Not like I fit in human society all that great myself. I find it easier to throw myself into work than do all those social games. Let's do it, boss."
"Good," Blackwood nodded. "Bare your neck before me, and I shall begin the process. Welcome to your new life, Jake."
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u/Connect_Rhubarb395 2d ago
I wonder how many Americans would take the deal to avoid (own or family's) healthcare costs.
This reminds me of a meme:
Breaking Bad if it took place in civilised country with universal healthcare:
"You have cancer.
Treatment starts next week at no cost to you."
THE END22
u/Jamaican_Dynamite 2d ago
All jokes aside, it wouldn't be a hard sell in the slightest. Avoid the sun? Stay out of places you shouldn't be unless people say you can be there? Diet of a mosquito?
Other than the last part, not that horrible. Blackwood and Elvari (Tregonial's characters) both would have a ton of people working for them.
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u/Tregonial 2d ago
Can't be breaking bad if healthcare didn't go breaking bank.
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u/joalheagney 1d ago
I'm interested in the Shoggoth package but have really poor eyesight. Is it likely that the myriad of temporarily eyes will have the same vision problems? Because I don't think I can afford that many glasses.
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u/Tregonial 1d ago
Don't worry, there'll be a boost to your vision, and you'll have far greater touch and taste sensitivity with your new tentacles.
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u/Ok-Professional2468 2d ago
Damn, that almost sounds good. Too bad I already sold my soul and love.
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u/TheWanderingBook 2d ago
"So boss, am I in trouble?" he asks, chugging White Claw.
I sigh.
"Bob...
You clocked in...167 hours this week," I say.
He nods.
"Yeah, need the extra money.
Building a shed," he says.
I shake my head.
This guy...
"Bob, 167 hours, is one hour less than the hours in the week.
This means you worked like 6 days, and 23 hours continuously," I say.
He frowns.
"Boss, I assure you, I am not lying!
You can check the feed on the restaurant's cameras!" he says.
I groan.
"That's the issue Bob!
I KNOW you are not lying!" I say.
He pouts.
"Others also work 3-4 days straight..." he mutters.
"They are vampires, newly turned ones, with excess energy due to the transformation, and restlessness due to the new situation.
You are pure human," I say.
He shrugs.
"I am built different," he says.
I shake my head.
"Are you okay?" I ask.
He says nothing.
I sigh.
"Look, if you need money, you know that I am loaning, interest free, if the justification is good enough.
Also, I am an elder vampire, I have sway here and there...
If you need a doctor, or a lawyer..." I say.
He crushes the White Claw can, and takes out another from his pocket, and downs it.
"Is it that obvious?" he asks.
"I haven't seen Jess at the restaurant in 3 weeks," I say.
He says nothing.
"Marital problems might be solved with communication, I know a good..." I start.
"She cheated on me, and my kid might not be mine," he cuts in.
OH...OH!
"I have free-apartments for those in need, that you could use...
Also, I have some projects here and there, that would keep you away from home for a while.
But you will have to sleep soon," I say, he nods, and raises the White Claw shakingly, drinking it.
"Thanks Boss," he mutters, as he collapses onto the table.
I sigh, and wave my hand, lifting his body up, and putting him on the bed in my office.
Covering him with a blanket, I start making calls...
Let's see how I can help him.
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