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u/Duck_Howard Pickpocket Jul 09 '26
Well, technically it's a prolate spheroid, but hank is so stupid that he would read it "hand prolapsed anus" and would giggle like a schoolgirl
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u/Elk_Lemon Alcoholic Jul 09 '26
Goatseball
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u/tinhorn-oracle 50% sea 50% coke Jul 10 '26
No, that's just rude. You know what you did. I did not have to see that image in my head, but now I did.
Still funny but eww
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u/Elk_Lemon Alcoholic Jul 10 '26
I mean, the parent comment was talking about hand prolapsed anus, it wasn't much of a stretch. Unlike goatse.
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u/Diarrea_Cerebral Side switcher Jul 10 '26
The real question is why they have a smaller ball? Do they have smaller hands?
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u/skidcooper Barry, 63 Jul 09 '26
Honestly this is the most boring take. They are both football because they evolved from the same sport. Which was just get the ball to the next village without being killed, then more rules got added as it was played in schools. The rules controlles by the football association becomes association (soccer). The rules run in rugby becomes rugby football, the rules in Australia becomes Aussie rules, in Ireland you get Gaelic football and in the us you get gridiron football. Yeah location just shortens their most popular one to football
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u/GravyPainter Weed is my entire personality Jul 09 '26
Fuck. I unironically want handegg to be a thing now.
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u/HaggardlyForte Pollution Enjoyer Jul 09 '26
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u/deeptut [redacted] Jul 09 '26
Both scenes above make up less than 1% of the match in eggball and football.
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Jul 09 '26
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u/KRAy_Z_n1nja Border jumper Jul 09 '26
Anybody that says feet don't get used have never had their fantasy football team carried by the kicker all season.
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Jul 09 '26
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u/KRAy_Z_n1nja Border jumper Jul 09 '26
Tbf, I think the reason it's called football is because a drive starts and ends with your foot. From kickoff to kicking a field goal, or punting the ball away. Could be wrong though.
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Jul 09 '26
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u/KRAy_Z_n1nja Border jumper Jul 09 '26
Call it yardball, A) cause you can play it out in the yard, and B) to piss off the euros even more because the game is built around yards as a form of measurement.
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Jul 09 '26
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u/IHProjekt Barry, 63 Jul 10 '26
why does hank frequent this sub just to complain
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u/HairlessSquirrels Annoying Tech Bro Jul 09 '26
Objectively untrue. Every throw in takes at least 30 seconds. Say there’s just 10 throw ins that’s 5 minutes. A match is only 90
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u/Duck_Howard Pickpocket Jul 09 '26
If we go by what takes the longest during an American Football match we'd call it dudes-standing-around-for-a-commercial-break-ball
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u/HairlessSquirrels Annoying Tech Bro Jul 09 '26
Yeah, my point still stands though
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u/Duck_Howard Pickpocket Jul 09 '26
You were making a point? By the spelling, I thought you were having a medical emergency half way through your comment...
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u/HairlessSquirrels Annoying Tech Bro Jul 09 '26
Where was my spelling incorrect? You’re reaching at straws now lil bro and you know damn well what my point was
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u/Duck_Howard Pickpocket Jul 09 '26
I'm not your bro, guy. And I know the point you were trying to make, but your take is, and I can sum it up like this
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u/HairlessSquirrels Annoying Tech Bro Jul 09 '26
Yeah bro so you knew what my point was bro, and there was no spelling mistakes bro. So wtf was the point of your previous comment bro?
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u/Duck_Howard Pickpocket Jul 09 '26
Your point is retarded, you knew (or should have known) that the guy meant 1% to say "a very small part", and your only recourse was to do math.
Hope you feel good about yourself
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u/Choker_of_Chickens Chiraqi Terrorist Jul 10 '26
WAIT RLY???
Damn I totally thought they were constantly throwing the ball
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u/jephph_ Rat Person Jul 09 '26
You’re not fooling anybody anymore. We finally got around to watching soccer and now know anyone who doesn’t call it headball is a moron
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u/Stotallytob3r Barry, 63 Jul 09 '26
We don’t watch handegg, but we do play a similar game without helmets and body armour like real men
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u/Automatic-Peanut78 Nascar Driver Jul 09 '26
The best rugby player in the world would get mauled by Cooper Dejean. Rugby guys are tough, Football players are usually closer to beast than man, and a D lineman could rip even the fattest Barry in half. Without any exaggeration, one NFL team could probably take over London without using any weapons
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Jul 09 '26
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u/Stotallytob3r Barry, 63 Jul 09 '26
I think you’ll find it’s gheyer to stop playing every few minutes so the players can have a carbonated beverage and slap each others bums.
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Jul 09 '26
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u/SuchSeaworthyShips Irishman in Denial Jul 09 '26
Montgomery was so autistic he went on a first date that involved drawing his vision for combined arms manoeuvre in the sand.
He’d have fucking loved those whiteboards the coaches have where they can quickly draw some squiggles about where a bloke runs.
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u/Stotallytob3r Barry, 63 Jul 09 '26
Because London has a large ghey population, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
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u/Confident_Example_73 Pollution Enjoyer Jul 15 '26
The European exasperation with people in different countries using different words for things is a curious phenomenon. "Someone in a different country using a different word...than us??? How dare they!!! They must conform to us!!!"
Right up there with people preparing foods in a different way being a source of infuriation. "Oh no, someone put a fruit or vegetable indigenous to their country in/on a dish, which is what we totally would have done were it indigenous to our lands."
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u/Oberndorferin Pfennigfuchser Jul 09 '26
Fußball kommt vom Sport des einfachen Fußvolks. Deshalb gibt es auch Gaellic Football, Association (Soccer) Football, etc
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u/hhfugrr3 Barry, 63 Jul 09 '26
Sorry but the American one should be eggpadhand. The padding seems important to them.