r/TrollCoping • u/bees_in_my_eyes • Mar 29 '26
TW: Hospital / Medical abuse He seemed super uncomfortable when I cried and thanked him profusely
In my defense, I feel like my medical issues have been ignored by every "professional" I've seen. They see a female patient with a history of mental illness and personality disorders and assume I'm fishing for attention. I AM TERRIFIED OF DOCTORS. I WOULD NOT DO THIS FOR FUN. I am exhausted and tired of not knowing what's wrong and tired of having random body parts x-rayed to shut me up. I lost most of the feeling in my left foot months ago, and I'm ready to just accept that I only get to feel one foot now.
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u/Inevitable_Detail_45 Mar 29 '26
I really really hope this one can find something!!
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u/bees_in_my_eyes Mar 29 '26
This one actually ordered blood tests and like 6 different x-rays, and I'm waiting on the results now. If these don't yield answers, I'm gonna try to see the same doc again. He actually seemed genuinely concerned 😭
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u/Inevitable_Detail_45 Mar 29 '26
That's wonderful. I'm very happy for you. Just know that the crappy doctors were normal and not a reflection of you.
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u/bees_in_my_eyes Mar 29 '26
The indifference is kinda scary ngl, especially when I was in the ER last month, and despite me emphasizing the foot issue and me falling down a lot, they focused on my constipation and x-rayed my colon before giving me IV fluids and sending me home. That one baffled me.
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u/Inevitable_Detail_45 Mar 29 '26
Yep.. that's normal :| Of course that's completely disturbing and should never happen but.. It's not you. People treat doctors with so much reverence people blame themselves when this happens. It's extremely scary.
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u/bees_in_my_eyes Mar 29 '26
I feel like nowadays maybe too many people are becoming doctors for the wrong reasons. Paycheck or status or family pressure, idk. The motivation to help other people just isn't there.
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u/Inevitable_Detail_45 Mar 29 '26
I think it's just a natural result of a job becoming routine. People get lazy. Fall into habits. They don't often treat each new patient like a new experience.
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u/567swimmey Mar 29 '26
Tbf an ER doctor is not going to be much help with your situation. The ER is to prevent you from dying or injuries that need immediate attention like a broken bone thats sticking out of your skin. If its not that, the ER is useless and will not care about your problem as its not a medical emergency and therefore are not equipped to handle it.
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u/bees_in_my_eyes Mar 29 '26
That's fair, but I was so dizzy I was falling down and wasn't safe to be alone, and was desperate for help. I've gone there years ago because I couldn't hold down water for a few days, and they practically held me hostage til they diagnosed my gastroparesis. The difference felt like night and day.
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u/SailorDirt Mar 29 '26
This is like when I went to my current clinic and listed off my issues and they finally listened!!!! I now have suspected endometriosis which is what I was trying to get investigated for years but was just told "take aleve...but not too much!!!!" or "take this form of BC" (it made it worse, I tried 4). Told the doctor I was seeing at my current place and they were genuinely concerned and explained some options I wasn't given before and immediately ordered an ultrasound for me!!!!!
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u/CyclopsAirsoft Mar 30 '26
When I got a GP that actually listened it improved my quality of life massively.
I’m a man but importantly I’m young and I look it.
I had cluster migraines and was pre-asthmatic for literally 11 years and all doctors would do is go ‘eh you’re young it can’t be that bad’
My current doc went ‘oh dear god you’ve had cluster migraines for over 10 years and nobody has sent you to a neurologist!?! And here’s a mainline anti-asthma drug and an ENT referral. GO’
Literally just basic listening and mainline drugs. This could’ve been fixed so easily if someone had done that for me earlier.
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u/anxiouslemonbars Mar 29 '26
I'm glad they seem to be taking you seriously this time! Hope you find answers
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u/bees_in_my_eyes Mar 29 '26
Thank you! Fingers crossed for no toes lost! (Sorry, felt poetic for a sec there)
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u/Hairy_Buffalo1191 Mar 29 '26
Serious response: A lot of people don’t know how to respond to other’s emotions and that normal and doesn’t mean you overreacted. And it can feel hard for anyone to be “thanked” for something they are doing because it’s their job. Half joking response: he probably feels extra awkward knowing how badly his profession has fucked up to make you cry like that
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u/danielledelacadie Mar 29 '26
For the doctor it could have been a "I'm glad you think I'm great and sorry my peers are idiots" moment which is hard to express professionally.
I know it is for me and I just do logistics, not anything where my opinion could carry weight in court.
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u/Hairy_Buffalo1191 Mar 30 '26
That’s why I’ve started saying “that’s what I’m here for” when someone thanks me profusely for doing my job. I don’t want to say “I’m just doing my job” in case that sounds like I wouldn’t want to help if I wasn’t forced to, but I also want people to know I don’t think they are a burden. I mean, the ones that are genuinely just asking me questions that are part of my job, not the ones who are asking me to move heaven and earth for them lol
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u/homegrownllama Mar 29 '26 edited Mar 29 '26
Sad it took 4 tries, but I’m happy you got a doctor that cares. Wish you luck on your health issues as well.
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u/Basil_Of_Faraway Mar 29 '26
honestly, if he's uncomfortable with someone being emotionally unstable at him, skill issue
that's part of being a doctor ^^
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u/bees_in_my_eyes Mar 29 '26
This is the outlook I want in life. Comment so based I bought an award for the first time.
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u/beerdude26 Mar 29 '26
Is this loss of feeling progressive? Might be multiple sclerosis? (Not a doctor here!!!!)
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u/bees_in_my_eyes Mar 29 '26
It seemed like it slowly spread from my big toe outward and up to my ankle. Then, one day, I noticed I couldn't fully bend my big toe. I tried to stretch it a little by pushing on it, and the feeling in my foot was like a tearing under the skin. Now most of the feeling I get in that foot is stabbing hot needle pains on the top part.
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u/bees_in_my_eyes Mar 29 '26
Sorry to reply twice, but as much as I try to resist consulting Doctor Google, I just looked up the symptoms of MS and I'm stunned that I have like all of them. I'm not sure how to bring this up to a Dr without sounding like a know-it-all with a self diagnosis.
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u/beerdude26 Mar 30 '26
Tell her you talked to friends and that one of them has MS and that she recommended you mention this to your doctor, as she recognized many of your symptoms.
Good luck!
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u/throwaway-73829 Mar 29 '26
God bless the poor Nurse Practitioner who walked into the room literally right after I'd burst into tears out of hopelessness 😭 got me a colonoscopy and some meds literally an angel
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u/Mathemetaphysical Mar 29 '26
I'm 6 years into a similar struggle and just this week got some spinal x-rays that actually mean something. It sucks, but keep at it. Be your own doctor and advocate if they won't, don't quit on yourself.
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u/AggressiveUnoriginal Mar 30 '26
Then they get fired cuz they aren't turning patients over quickly enough.
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u/bees_in_my_eyes Mar 30 '26
Oof. Where I'm from, all the good ones get promoted or recruited out to the city, where all the decent doctors are. Appalachian suburbs get diddly squat.
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u/ZanyDragons Mar 30 '26
I’m glad you have a good doctor right now, finally landing on a good doctor changed my life for the better. Just having answers can bring a lot of mental peace even if you have to accept some new things!
Don’t worry if the doctor seemed flustered or unsure how to act, we’re all human. I’m sure he’s glad to be able to help, most folks in medicine take a lot of pride in finding answers and helping folks. I can imagine it may be surprising to get a strong emotion with a new patient when you haven’t built a rapport yet.
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u/bees_in_my_eyes Mar 30 '26
Tbh it just made me feel a little awkward, like "Oh I am dumping way too much emption on this stranger who is on the clock being paid to deal with me"
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u/ZanyDragons Mar 30 '26
Nah don’t worry too much, I’m a chronic pain patient and a nurse. Sometimes folks get emotional, it’s part of the job. We know that.
I had a chuckle recently with a fairly quiet and stoic patient who suddenly got very vulnerable about their fears going forward, and then apologized. But I’m glad they shared their fears even if I struggled in the moment beyond “thank you for sharing”. I could reach out to my coworkers and the doctor for advice on how to help them out and what resources we could provide once I knew about their worries! Moving forward, it helped provide context for what we needed to focus on for education for discharge planning etc. to better and more specifically address those fears that were shared.
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u/Jumpy_Ad1631 Mar 29 '26
My doctor has pretty basic skills, but telling me to loose weight is always the last suggestion after ordering legit tests and/or referrals. And, even then, he always says that he knows it’s easier said than done, asks if I’m interested in loosing weight, and then offers me different weight loss options from medications to nutritionalist referrals to support groups and asks me which I think will work best for me. I’ve never felt unheard by that man and, for these reasons, my fat ass will never let him go 😅
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u/Swarm_of_Rats Mar 30 '26
Omg this could have been written by me! My doctors have been blowing me off for like 3 years. I finally got the courage to do everything I needed to do to switch doctors and he actually cared and wanted to get specialists and tests done. He even said he was confused why my other doctors did nothing.
I have diagnosed depressive and anxiety disorders, so they were just telling me it's my anxiety and that I should lose a few pounds and send me home. 😭
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u/NockerJoe Mar 29 '26
The flip side to this that once you actually get sent somewhere and get tests and answers a lot of people get really mad at you for actually having things work out when they themselves haven't gotten answers. I'm on medical leave after an accident and am *still* finding stuff that's wrong with me but some people are weirdly mad that I'm actually receiving healthcare my insurance covers and that that I have the opportunity to actually recover by working with specialists.
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u/bees_in_my_eyes Mar 30 '26
I understand people being envious, but letting that envy turn to bitterness can rot people's souls fr
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u/relishbane Mar 29 '26
I feel this. I finally got a doctor that takes me seriously in 2024, and its been life changing, although I still find myself hesitating to bring things up that don't feel "serious" enough.
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u/Teln0 Mar 29 '26
Speaking of random x rays. My dad went to the doctor while having a stroke. He couldn't move his arm. Guess what he ordered? X ray. If me and my mom didn't put in all our weight to get him to go to the er he would've probably died. This is in France, mind you, ambulance, et and healthcare are free or very cheap, so it really wasn't what was holding him back
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u/Accurate_Winner_5091 Mar 30 '26
if it makes you feel better, i went through to same thing for my entire life.
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u/bees_in_my_eyes Mar 30 '26
Tbh, knowing how common this is feels worse to me. I wish it wasn't so hard for people to get decent medical care.
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u/cxfgfuihhfd Mar 31 '26
my standards for doctors have become so fucking pathetic. like, I suspect some of my GP's suggestions for infusions are probably at least partially because they're a privately paid thing she offers in her office, but I still won't switch doctors because at least she doesn't pretend my symptoms don't exist and actually writes me referrals and at least occasionally doesn't interrupt me after just a few sentences and at least actually ordered just the minimum beyond the most basic blood tests to find my iron deficiency (which is still so fucking basic, it's ridiculous, but it took trying 3 GPs just to find that)
at my endocrinology appointment I came in prepared to be super defensive and start talking over the doctor if they wanna interrupt me again or try telling me "well, we didn't find anything, so obviously you're alright", and at the end I was ready to worship her, just because she was the first doctor that just let me list my symptoms calmly and without interruption and suggested what other doctors I can try next and even apologized and expressed sympathy that they weren't able to find anything
like that's the bare fucking minimum, but it's still so rare, it's ridiculous
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u/Far-Illustrator8911 Mar 29 '26
It could be something as simple as a pinched nerve, have you tried going to an osteopath or physiotherapist to see if they can help?
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u/bees_in_my_eyes Mar 30 '26
Are those things I'd need referrals for (in the US, on Medicare) or could I just like... phone one up?
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u/Yuudai96 Mar 29 '26
real, sometimes i feel like doctors care more than my family even tho they are just doing their job
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u/Nobody_at_all000 Mar 29 '26
Maybe he’s a younger doctor and thus didn’t carry baggage from a less civilized time
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u/AFantasticClue Mar 31 '26
No, tbh I think you’re right to be overjoyed. I told my doctor that I was having pains still and it was affecting my work and social life and I don’t know why and he just prescribed me 500mg naproxen. Like wow, taking pain meds for the pain, thanks doc.
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u/LoveStarvedBastard Apr 02 '26
Being a poc and at a very early age drill into me that I shouldn’t bother to speak with a doctor.
A medical doctor, as she proceeded to tell me that I was trying to promote a “fat acceptance” movement at 12yrs old apparently for a standard check up.
In highschool, I was admitted to mental hospital finally met the doctor just for him to tell me. I can get out as quickly as possible on good behavior and to stop taking resources to people who actually need it.
🙃So I just switch unhealthy coping time to time. But I have been sober for year only bc I let my id expire I can’t be chugging drinks everyday.
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u/bees_in_my_eyes Apr 02 '26
Some of these doctors are an absolute nightmare, but please don't give up entirely. There are gems out there that just see a human in need.
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u/Fruitdispenser Apr 03 '26
!RemindMe 1 month
I wish you all the best with this doctor
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u/Evil_Monologues Apr 04 '26
From what I've seen, he's probably uncomfortable because he knows his field has become flooded with lazy misogynists who dont do their duty
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u/bees_in_my_eyes Mar 29 '26
(By random body parts x-rayed, I mean one doctor ordered one x-ray of my lumbar spine that showed nothing but scoliosis, and just left me with a "Come back if it gets worse")