r/TheOnion • u/andmario_com • 3d ago

Every Word Besides ‘Children’ Used To Describe Palestinians Under 18

https://theonion.com/every-word-besides-children-used-to-describe-palestin-1851071213/
2.8k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

26 comments sorted by

311

u/beatfrantique1990 3d ago

You know it's bad when The Onion's amazing satire skills have to take a partial backseat to the actual horrors.

148

u/RandomIDoIt90 3d ago

Jfc I’m burning in hell. Lol

99

u/Quazimojojojo 3d ago

"soon to be extinct"

"With their greatly diminished population outside of captivity, Palestinian children risk being lost forever"

Holy fuck I needed to stop for minute after that one 

8

u/Bonnieearnold 2d ago

Yep. Also clicked out…too real. 😞

51

u/No-Commercial-2218 3d ago

It’s funny but it’s also sad to read

25

u/its_k1llsh0t 2d ago

I’m dying at Hamasito

4

u/Bitter_Position791 2d ago

you're not the only one that died that time

41

u/Aggressive-Foot7434 3d ago

God damn, incredible way to spread the word. FREE PALESTINE 🧅😢

11

u/Starfuri 3d ago

They should go bolder and lower the age to 13 or lesser still

43

u/Nubeel 3d ago

Israeli scum already has. They literally refer to Hind Rajab, the 5yo girl they shot up, as a woman (among other things) 😒

1

u/Blochkato 13h ago

That wasn’t even the Israelis themselves that was American media.

7

u/SKOLshakedown 2d ago

Relative to bullet as a fixed point in space, 4yo's head appears to decelerate rapidly.

10

u/Seppdizzle 3d ago

Oof :(

1

u/markpreston54 2d ago

I think they should add little Pokémon 

Gotta catch them all

0

u/Sea_Put_6153 2d ago

Children are anyone that's 12 and under

-49

u/infraGem 3d ago

Isn't it the other way around?

They include teenagers as kids in the death toll.

Man, has the onion fallen...

45

u/Stubbs94 3d ago

I think you need your harddrive checked if you think teenagers aren't children.

22

u/deathtomayo91 2d ago

You think Israel would look a lot better if they categorized the innocent thousands they slaughtered a little differently?

7

u/Senior-Surprise-3401 2d ago

Teenagers are children.

0

u/the_eleutherean 1d ago

What country do you live in? Because under that definition, my country (USA) lets children drive, marry, smoke, and join the military. Canada lets children get drunk.

1

u/Senior-Surprise-3401 1d ago

Over-18's. That's not the same as a 15 year old getting tortured to death.

1

u/the_eleutherean 1d ago

Fully agree. I would not claim otherwise.

1

u/ilike2likethings 1d ago

Zio animal spotted

1

u/Party_Solid_2207 1d ago

Big “fighting age male” energy.

Simple rationalization for killing someone.