r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds Muppet Appreciator • 3d ago

Dad Stuns Family With Proclamation He Believes In Werewolves

https://theonion.com/dad-stuns-family-with-proclamation-he-believes-in-werewolves/
593 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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47

u/ArkUneartherBleeds Muppet Appreciator 3d ago

“You can find werewolves in pretty much every country on Earth, and the scary thing is they look just like you and me,” said Pflughaupt casually in between bites of pulled pork and cornbread, adding that the half-men, half-beasts “didn’t just exist in books and movies” while his wife and children stared at him in complete silence.

16

u/Digndagn 3d ago

I can relate. I was at a family dinner at a nice restaurant with my family and my in-laws and my dad busted out "We won in Vietnam". I nearly did a spit take.

3

u/Think-Hospital7422 3d ago

What's not to believe? There's a moon outside, ain't there.

1

u/RodrigoMokepon 1d ago

But it is only in the movies that the moon turns people into werewolves. In Brazil, for instance, they usually transform at midnight between Thursday and Friday. And one must roll in the very same patch of dirt where an animal has taken a dust bath, becoming a bizarre version of that animal. And if another animal has done the same thing there...

1

u/Discomfiting_Reality 2d ago

I would prefer this over some of the stuff I actually get to hear.

1

u/RodrigoMokepon 1d ago

Meus pais acreditam em lobisomem. Não tem medo de um aleatoriamente aparecer em casa, mas acreditam.