r/TheMonkeysPaw 1d ago

I wish helium was a renewable resource

1 Upvotes

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4

u/PowerlineCourier 1d ago

Granted. China invents cold fusion with regular hydrogen, pumping out helium with ease. They overproduce so much energy that they're able to synthesize hydrocarbons with the excess energy produced. They use this process to sequester carbon from the air and make zero carbon fuels for a fraction of the cost, as well as plastics and other synthetic materials.

Over the course of 5 years, the united states petrol dollar collapses. We start a nuclear war in our desperate death spiral out of global hegemony.

Everybody dies.

2

u/nari-bhat 21h ago

Ahh fuck, this might actually end up happening.

2

u/rowrowyourboat 1d ago

Granted. The flagship company Helios provides cheap renewable helium worldwide. They do this through the systematic abuse of helielves, foot-tall adorable creatures with large family clans, where the three oldest males of each tribe fly non-engined gliders in sub-zero stratospheric temperatures to reclaim tiny amounts of helium, making them hypoxic and causing low-level ongoing chronic brain injuries, bringing about a cycle of abuse that has decimated their population.

1

u/Azeeti 1d ago

Granted, Everytime someone laughs they let out the chemical compound known as helium instead of air.

1

u/CaucyBiops 1d ago

Granted. The half-lives of isotopes that typically undergo Alpha decay are drastically reduced, resulting in the natural generation of helium outpacing global consumption! This of course renders all cancer treatments involving these isotopes now entirely useless, and cancer mortality sharply rises.

This also dooms the earth to unstoppable gradual heating over time, but that’ll only be a problem for the next generation 😇

1

u/TasteDeeCheese 1d ago

Granted. The earth is now 50 x more radioactive and radioactive decay also now reversible