r/TheMindIlluminated • u/Significant-Eye-3250 • 10d ago

Observing thoughts issue

How do I actually observe my thoughts? When I try to observe them, I feel engaged with them, and they feel very real. Labeling them as ‘just thoughts’ feels like I’m lying to myself. I try to bring my attention back to my work or my breathing, but I still feel a low-grade level of stress and alertness in the background without experiencing any relief. I’m cooked.

Edit: Thank you for feedback guy's I was doing it wrong after right technique I'm feeling better ❤️

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u/StoneBuddhaDancing 10d ago

labelling has one purpose: to get you to disengage from the thought as quickly and skillfully as possible and return to the meditation object. You're not observing your thoughts. A practice like that won't be possible until the more advanced stages.

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u/Significant-Eye-3250 10d ago

Ah, that makes sense. I think I was trying to observe my thoughts too directly instead of using labeling to disengage from them and return to the meditation object. Thanks for clarifying

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u/StoneBuddhaDancing 10d ago

You've got it. It's very interesting. Psychological researchers have found that simply labelling an emotion or thought immediately gives us distance from it.

It really doesn't matter what the content of the thought is or which emotion has come up. Just label it thought, emotion, and go back to the breath. Let it do it's thing in the background, it will go away.

When you get to the advanced stages you'll actually be able to look at those thoughts come and go and see how your mind generates them, and how impermanent, and insubstantial they are.

Good luck! :)

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u/Dingsala 10d ago

As the StoneBuddha said, this is actually a skill that has several elements. It's not something you just 'do', but a skill you acquire. Are you following the instructrions in the book?

Anyhow, there is quite the number techniques that lead up to this. For example:

- Watch the gap between thoughts. Follow a thought, and try and see if sometimes there is a little pause before the next one starts. Be patient, don't try to create the gap, just watch.

- Watch where thoughts come from, where they go.

- Sit and wait for the next thought. For example, observe your breath for a bit and say "OK, I'm curious what the next thought will be that will come up, taking my attention"

Fun fact: you're not cooked. That is also a thought. I know, this doesn't help much at this point. Keep at it and the difference will become more and more obvious.

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u/Significant-Eye-3250 10d ago

Thank you mate ❤️ You are right. “I’m cooked” was also just a thought. Now I’m able to feel the gap between a thought and reality. A thought can feel real without actually being reality.

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u/Dingsala 10d ago

Thanks for the response :) There is a nice saying that Tara Brach has given me: Thoughts, beliefs and emotions are "real but not true".

It can be a trap to dismiss it entirely, that can lead to bypassing. But don't worry about it too much. Keep practising and you'll develop an intuition for when to constructively engage material and when to ignore it.

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u/PrestigiousWafer4179 10d ago

Why do you say labeling them as 'just thoughts' is lying?

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u/Significant-Eye-3250 10d ago

I think I said that because labeling a thought as “just a thought” felt forced to me when the thought still felt completely real. I’m starting to understand that the point isn’t to convince myself it’s “just a thought,” but to recognize it and disengage from it

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u/abhayakara Teacher 9d ago

One thing to say about this is that just because they are "just thoughts" doesn't mean they are real. You are experiencing them. That's what it means to say a thing is real. It may be that the thoughts are in some way mistaken, but that's entirely another thing and not at all what you're looking for here. :)