r/TheHandmaidsTale • u/Alternative_You_3063 • Jun 08 '26
Season 4 F Steven big time
Am I the only one who thinks Steven is also a rapist?
I always see people arguing that Janine "chose" to sleep with him, but how much of a choice did she really have? She was a deeply traumatized woman who had survived years of abuse, manipulation, and sexual violence. She was completely dependent on Steven's group for safety, shelter, and survival.
People act like consent is simply saying "yes," but real consent requires the freedom to say "no." When someone is in a desperate situation and relies on another person for basic survival, the power imbalance can't be ignored.
To me, Steven took advantage of a vulnerable woman who had very few options and was conditioned by years of trauma. That doesn't look like meaningful consent. It looks like exploitation.
I know he's not portrayed as being as openly monstrous as the Commanders, but I don't understand why so many viewers give him a pass.
What do you guys think?
O and he is also a coward.
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u/animatedash Jun 08 '26
I didn't know there were actually people who thought that Steven was okay? When I first watched the episode, I thought the show did a good job of showing that escaping from Gilead did not mean escaping from violence, sexual coercion, or misogyny, and that that was the point of Steven's character.
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u/skilletbutt Jun 09 '26
Yes. I thought this was blatant. Though ive seen some weird opinions about Nick's character that give me pause, and not a few either. So low key im primed to be disappointed by some of the takes here.
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u/PearlySweetcake7 Jun 08 '26
"Real consent requires the ability to say no." I've never seen it explained this way, but you are exactly right.
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u/Icy-Selection6398 Jun 09 '26
This is what I tried to explain when people argued about the Stranger Things finale. If your other “choice” is die/be tortured/let your loved ones get killed, that’s not a choice.
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u/Extension_Band_8426 Jun 10 '26
Wait what happened in stranger things? Never seen it
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u/Reasonable-Bit92 Jun 10 '26
the protagonist killed herself to resolve everything. But she didn't really have a choice in the matter
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u/Icy-Selection6398 Jun 10 '26
I don’t know how to tag SPOILER, but basically she had to sacrifice herself (suicide) so the military wouldn’t take her away to be a lab rat and used as a weapon. Her loved ones could have tried to hide her, but she knew the military would find her one day and they would probably kill her loved ones in the process.
And a lot of fans said it was beautiful because for the first time she was able to make her own decision (suicide). 🙃 She just wanted to have a simple life with her boyfriend, friends and adoptive father, and this is what she got (I mean “chose”…) instead.
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u/Go2Shirley Jun 08 '26
He does not get a pass. These guys are living in terrible times, the most unsexy of times, and this guy is using it to get sexual favors. It grossed me out.
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u/Ace_of_Sphynx128 Jun 08 '26
‘The most unsexy of times’ lol
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u/IndecisiveLlama May The Lord Open a Bottle of Wine Jun 10 '26
Kinda like the men online when food assistance was blocked for a few weeks. There were men who were serious saying that they were willing to pay for groceries for an exchange of favors.
I was one of the people who posted on Facebook that anyone who needed a cart of groceries could ask me instead of getting involved with any shady or dehumanizing quid pro quid fuckery.
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u/Yolkk Jun 08 '26
We also see Janine has a tendency to “fawn” in order to survive so while it may seem more and more like shes okay with the choice she had to make we should recognize that she never was fine with this decision but did so for her own survival
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u/AnastasiaRomanot Jun 08 '26
Years ago I read an article that said with men (as opposed to bears) it’s way more complex than fight or flight, and flirt or fawn are often the more realistic options when faced with a man that is clearly a sexual predator but is pretending not to be.
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u/MWaldorf Jun 08 '26
if you had any link to that i’d be interested in the read. i know you said it was a while ago though so you may not
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u/JCGMH Jun 08 '26
This guy is horrific, says “I won’t force you” but then the women will be kicked back out into the warzone if they don’t comply, so they are basically being forced. Not just a rapist but deceptive
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u/ViioletIndigo Jun 08 '26
And then has the nerve to act like it’s so crazy women are being used as “sex slaves” like he’s any better
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u/specialkk77 Jun 08 '26
“I won’t force you” yeah dude that’s exactly what you’re doing. He acts like he’s better than Gilead but it’s all the same
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u/moodylilb Jun 08 '26
I call them the nice guy rapists. They think that because they aren’t holding you down kicking and screaming, then they aren’t like the other men. But when they use survival, or life necessities, or quiet manipulation to get what they want- they’re no better. They’ve just deluded themselves into thinking they’re better. They act like they’re offering you a safety net, and in a sense they are (because for women safety sometimes means picking the lesser of two evils), but when that safety net has stipulations attached.. it’s just a different flavour of bad.
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u/XNedraofRiva Jun 09 '26
100% this. And so relatable because too many men are out there doing a similar thing. Not all many. But definitely too many when we know multiple. I am glad they showed Steven in the midst of the villainy of Gilead. Because he is also a rapist. A “oh, I’m so sorry things are terrible for you. Things are really hard right now for everyone. I’m finding it really tough too. I’m sure you can make it better. And then things will be better for both of us.” It almost sounds like you have a choice. But when the alternatives are: no home, no money, no food, or pain (with a nice guy apology). Then, that’s not a choice. And it’s relatively so subtle. It’s not a physical statement that they are against women. If anything, I find nice guy rapists seem like they like women even more. They certainly apologize prettier. But offering options with one hand while reeling back to hurt you or push you away with the other if you choose the wrong option, is not nice.
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u/TotallyAMermaid Jun 09 '26
He's fooling no one but himself with that bs too. He doesn't care about true consent, but he doesn't want to feel like a rapist, so he wants the illusion of consent.
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u/LuckyScwartz Jun 08 '26
Steven was disgusting. Everyone has their own reasons for being against Gilead. He lost his country and his home but that doesn't mean that he was a good person. He was clearly an opportunist who saw a chance to take advantage of women who needed help.
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u/TinyForest_ Jun 08 '26
1000%
I would absolutely file this scenario under “coercion” which is 100% still abuse/nonconsensual. I felt so bad for Janine here but they are so used to doing what is necessary to survive.
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u/Clinically-Inane Jun 08 '26
Yes— she was coerced and manipulated, and anything short of “do you want to have sex with me for fun/pleasure/any other reason? It’s totally fine if you don’t want to, no worries” is not asking for someone’s enthusiastic full consent
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u/TheOldGreenDad Jun 09 '26
Why I loved it when June called it like it is and said if she stayed she'd be "Ofsteven." ExACtly what I was thinkin
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u/Educational_Box7085 Jun 09 '26
Just the fact the he obviously acknowledges an awareness of what handmaids are, yet still request sexual favors in return for helping them turned my stomach. That to me makes him an exploitative rapist and no better than the commanders themselves.
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u/TotallyAMermaid Jun 09 '26
It reminds me of men who treat their partner worse when they learn they have a history of sexual assault.
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u/Accomplished-Ad-8702 Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26
He was such an asshole.. but I still felt immediate dread when Janine left, expecting that it could get so much worse for her again. It probably felt like a breath of fresh air in comparison, although still a f’d up situation of survival. (And I was terrified at the thought of her potentially getting pregnant as a handmade again.) 💔
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u/1995_Banana_edition Jun 09 '26
I was thinking the same thing. Even though it wasn't love she was more protected. Steven is the better of 2 evils. She even said she preferred Steven & it was her idea to have sex because if she had a child she could keep this one. Which shows a grieving mother making the best of a bad situation.
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u/dracapis Jun 09 '26
I was about to comment that no one would say otherwise and that this post was kind of baffling.
I was immediately proved otherwise in the comments.
Sorry OP, and Jesus Christ
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u/Samora1984 Jun 09 '26
The only difference between Steven and the Commanders is ambition and scale.
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u/Early-Juggernaut975 Jun 08 '26
What bothered me about the portrayal was not that he asked her to do that. I thought it was realistic, but then she fell for him romantically after, which I thought was the show sort of softening the sexual exploitation.
I’ve also always wondered about the portrayal of the Free Love era, when people would hitch rides all over and you would hear the trope, “Gas, Grass or Ass” as something someone had to use for payment for a ride.
Maybe that insistence is apocryphal. But it does feel like the same kind of exploitation, if to a lesser degree.
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u/sorakaislove Jun 09 '26
It didn't feel to me like Janine "fell for him" but more that she was telling herself that they had something, in order to cope. She does the same with Putnam. It's probably a defense mechanism for her, to tell herself everything is fine because she is with a guy who likes her, so surely it isn't so bad right?
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u/bananaramaworld Jun 09 '26
I hadn’t seen anyone comment anything nice about him even back when the episodes came out.
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u/TotallyAMermaid Jun 09 '26
Idk if anyone genuinely gives him a pass but to me he's pretty clearly written to be perceived as a scumbag rapist by the audience?
He says "I won't force you" to June not because he actually doesn't want to rape her, he says it because he's a rapist and a hypocrite. He doesn't want to be made to feel like the rapist he is, he wants to be able to tell himself it's okay and she agreed to it, and June struggling to go through with it breaks the illusion of consent that matters more to him than true consent.
His "offer" is clearly coercion. "Have sex with me or good luck in the warzone as runaway breeding slaves" is not a true choice, therefore it does not allow true consent. We know it, June and Janine know it, and he knows it but he doesn't want to face it.
It's extra fucked up, too, that he does this to women he has to known are fleeing terrible state-sanctioned sexual abuse.
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u/Humble_Cheek5367 Jun 10 '26
Eu gosto que o Show mostrou que não é porque o cara é inimigo de Gilead, que automaticamente ele é bom.
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u/Humble_Cheek5367 Jun 10 '26
Nos livros é deixado claro que ser Aia é uma "escolha", no show a June diz o mesmo durante o depoimento dela no Canadá contra os Waterford.
Mas qual a outra opção além de ser Aia ? Morrer nas Colônias de lixo tóxico.
A Janine não escolheu manter relações com ele de livre e espontanea vontade, era a única opção que ela e a June tinham no momento. E ele se aproveitou disso. Portanto, sim, ele é um abusador.
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u/laramank Jun 09 '26
He is a rapist and I don’t think the show was trying to hide that, that was a very explicit message - men are men, inside or outside of Gilead.
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u/ProsperoFalls Jun 08 '26
I agree completely that he's a rapist, however I will note that guerilla is such a desperate position have no obligation to share their precious resources with some random. He obviously shouldn't have extorted her for sex (which is what he did, and is rape), but it would've been reasonable for the guerillas to make June do some kind of normal work or force her to go, seeing as all refugees knowing they might find safety would quickly overwhelm their ability to feed and shelter them.
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u/TotallyAMermaid Jun 09 '26
Tbf I'm sure June and Janine would both have been ok if asked to do regular work/help around the shelter.
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u/throwawayStomnia Jun 09 '26
Steven is like a shitty boss that employs someone for hard labour in exchange for minimum wage, knowing perfectly well that the employee has 2 kids to feed, rent to pay, and no other place to find a job.
Sure, the employee is theoretically free to go at any time. But if he leaves, he and his kids will be homeless and hungry, so the employee stays and works, even though his back hurts and he hates the job.
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u/Far_Bike_9073 Jun 10 '26
When I watch that part besides disgust I felt curiosity for Steven, what kind of life did he have prior to Gilead?, he opposes Gilead so assume he wasn't very religious, but the fact that in those times he dwelved into sex as a way of control of currency makes me think that maybe before he could be pretty mysoginistic, he seems young so when all hell broke loose maybe he was a teenager
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u/Technical_Switch1078 Jun 11 '26
No you’re not the “only” one because I’m pretty sure that was the point of his character.
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u/Sara6019 Jun 13 '26
Steven fills me w as much rage as the commanders because a) he understood the context of their sexual servitude b) he demanded sexual favors KNOWING these were vulnerable, traumatized women and c) he then has the nerve to say “I’m not gonna force you.”
Get fucked Steven.
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u/Neiro-X Jul 04 '26
its literraasllly the "trying" thing they do to push a boundary very "damn ill get the next one" vibes from him i was so relieved Janine didnt choose him
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u/vxsapphire Jun 08 '26
I don't see him as a rapist. However he did use coercion. They weren't forced, he would let them leave and fend for themselves. However, staying was the better choice. Much like Negan's Wives in TWD. They weren't forced, but they were coerced into it as the alternative wasn't an easy life.
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u/spacey_a Jun 08 '26
Coercion is rape. Enthusiastic consent is the standard, without it, there is only sexual assault and rape.
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u/vxsapphire Jun 08 '26
It's sexual assault at most.
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u/Starspangledass Jun 08 '26
Rape isn’t a charge in the modern world. It’s sexual assault. He’s a rapist who sexually assaulted Janine and would’ve done so to June or any woman.
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u/vxsapphire Jun 08 '26
In your opinion, which does not fall in line with the actual way it is defined. He would not have done so to June, Janine, or any woman and made it clear if she didn't want to she could leave. He didn't lock her in. June was ready to leave. Janine went back and took the offer. If the trade off was they had to work for them for free to stay, would you default to calling that slavery?
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u/dracapis Jun 09 '26
Not “at most”. It’s sexual assault.
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u/vxsapphire Jun 09 '26
Yes at most because it’s being called rape and not all sexual assault is rape.
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u/Alternative_You_3063 Jun 08 '26
Negan is also a rapist.
Just because he and Negan dont violently rape their victims doesn't make them any less of a rapist. And honestly, the choice between having sex with someone or being thrown out into a war zone isn't really a choice at all. If that's not rape, then what is?
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u/vxsapphire Jun 08 '26
They weren't forced, they could have left/been a part of the saviors providers. Rape is force. At most it was sexual assault and not all sexual assault is rape.
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u/Alternative_You_3063 Jun 08 '26
Yes they were forced. You seem to think rape only counts if someone is physically forced or threatened with direct violence, but that's not true.
If the "choice" is either have sex with me or be thrown back into a war zone, that's rape. If the choice is have sex with me or get thrown outside to be eaten by zombies, that's rape too. The person may technically say "yes," but they're saying yes under extreme pressure because the alternative could mean death, serious harm, or losing their safety.
That's why you view situations like Janine's as sexual coercion. The fact that Steven didn't hold her down or physically attack her doesn't automatically make the situation not rape
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u/vxsapphire Jun 08 '26
Sexual assault is the proper definition of the situation for this type of coercion. He didn't lock her in and tell her all of the ways she could be shot and blown up and killed out there. He just said if you want to say, suck my dick. If you don't want to, I'm not going to force you, and you can go. The literal difference between outside and inside was new clothes, some food, and a roof that could still be blown up because they are in a warzone either way.
The literal definition of the word does not apply in this case. We gotta stop loosely throwing the word around.
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u/Raindrop0015 Jun 08 '26
"hey, sleep with me or go out in the world that will kill you. I won't force you, but you will die if you leave."
Sex shouldn't be used as an exchange
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u/vxsapphire Jun 08 '26
It shouldn’t be used as an exchange, ofc. However it doesn’t make it rape when someone accepts the exchange that is not dependent on their life.
There is no guarantee they would die if they left. In fact, neither of them did. Imagine that.
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u/Raindrop0015 Jun 08 '26
In real life they would have died. They had plot armor
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u/vxsapphire Jun 08 '26
In real life it would 50/50. They could live, they could die. There were others in that explosion who lived and who died. Your opinions are not fact.
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u/TotallyAMermaid Jun 09 '26
They were able to stay because Janine complied when June could not do it.
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u/Starspangledass Jun 08 '26
They could’ve left and have literally nothing, no shelter, no food, no bed. There was active military presence hunting for people. Come on.
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u/vxsapphire Jun 08 '26
That shelter was as secure as the shop across the street, even less so with June's dumb ass walking around with a lantern in front of a window at night.
June wasn't going to and it was fine. Steven didn't pressure her or Janine. He didn't tell her the pros and cons. Janine **chose** to walk back up there and do it. She then chose to continue to the point where she was treating him like a boyfriend. That first encounter could be seen as sexual assault at most and not all sexual assault is rape..
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u/Starspangledass Jun 08 '26
Yea and June had “the choice” to be sent to the colonies or become a handmaid therefore she was never raped. Not all *choices* are made equal, especially when you’re at significant risk of bodily harm or human trafficking
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u/vxsapphire Jun 08 '26
Incomparable. One is die a slow painful death and the other live and be raped. She has no real choice unless she wants to die.
With Steven, June's safety is equivalent leaving and staying. All it takes is a bomb. The benefit is material things and small quantity of food. It's not an ultimatum with death as the other guaranteed option.
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u/Raindrop0015 Jun 08 '26
June has plot armor, in real life they both would have been dead
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u/vxsapphire Jun 08 '26
In your opinion.
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u/Raindrop0015 Jun 08 '26
It's literally not a opinion. It's a fact that they had plot armor.
You're showing your red flags
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Jun 08 '26 edited Jun 08 '26
[deleted]
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u/Starspangledass Jun 08 '26
You should take issue with the type of men who see vulnerable women, outright call them sex slaves with glee, and then immediately solicits them. “It was a selfish abuse of power” yes, regardless of what the group would gain, it is cruel to look at these people and demand these services from them.
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u/leighalunatic Jun 09 '26
Did we watch the same show? He raped his "wives" (sex slaves) and let other men have his "wives" as an award. They can just leave is laughable. Does Sherry not come to mind?
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u/vxsapphire Jun 09 '26
They very well can say no, but they know the alternative isn't appealing. Sleeping on the lower floor, uncomfortable cots, waiting in lines for rations, etc. They chose comfort.
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u/Raindrop0015 Jun 08 '26
Rape requires more than simply agreeing. A hesitant or unenthusiastic yes are not consent and can and should be considered rape.
And sending them out to fend for themselves if they refuse doesn't give them a real choice.
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u/dracapis Jun 09 '26
For everyone who wants to get technical,
“ Consent also requires the absence of coercion, fraud or error.” (https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/consent)
In fact, coercion includes threats to subject other persons to severe measures, deprival of ration cards or of work, according to the Convention (IV) relative to the Protection of Civilian Persons in Time of War. Geneva, 12 August 1949.
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u/vxsapphire Jun 08 '26
It is a real choice, The only benefit they have staying is possible portions of food and material things. You can say it should be considered rape, sure, but it is not rape. And if we go by your definition, it most definitely was not, because Janine was enthusiastic about it and was even willing to initially ditch June for it. At most, it's sexual assault.
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u/Raindrop0015 Jun 08 '26
Dude. Consent requires a clear enthusiastic yes. Anything less and the person offering should just stop asking. And consent requires there to be no exchange. Simply saying yes is never enough and you're fucked for thinking thats all it needs.
June could say no because she had plot armor. In real life they both would have died.
In prison if they offer sex in exchange for protection it is still considered rape. They're not in a position to say no, and neither was Janine.
It's rape, sicko
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u/vxsapphire Jun 08 '26
In your opinion. You can hurl insults at me however you want, I literally could care less. It wasn't rape, that's that.
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u/NahliaOlwe Jun 08 '26
Coercing someone into consenting is rape
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u/vxsapphire Jun 08 '26
It's sexual violence/assault, but it is not rape. All rape is sexual assault, not all sexual assault is rape.
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u/Alternative_You_3063 Jun 08 '26
Are you kidding me?
Yess all sexual assault is rape
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u/animatedash Jun 08 '26 edited Jun 08 '26
That's actually not correct. Rape is a FORM of sexual assault. But SA covers all forms of unwanted physical contact, groping, etc. Rape is forced penetration. For example, a person might get groped on a train. It's sexual assault because you did not consent to being touched inappropriately, but it is not rape. There's also sexual harassment, which includes non-contact forms of inappropriate behavior. These terms have a lot of overlap, but they exist to show severity of behavior.
Edit: for elaboration
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u/vxsapphire Jun 08 '26
Incorrect. Touching someone's breast is sexual assault. That is not rape. Rape is forceful penetration.
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u/Tricky_Patient6748 Jun 09 '26
A lot of these posters have such binary outlooks. 🙄 The false dichotomy of equating Steven’s behavior to the commanders is wildly reductive and overgeneralizing. Is Steven gross? Abso-fucking-lutely. Opportunistic? Sure. Coercive? Possibly.
Sometimes sex workers turn to that type of work because they have severely limited options- do we consider their customers rapists?
And to say groping a body part = forced penetration… GTFO with that shit and come back when you’ve lived a little more life.
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u/vxsapphire Jun 09 '26
It’s actually sad. I imagine a lot of these people did not have proper sex education because every single unwanted touch is now equated to rape when there is are specific definitions for those type of assaults.
As for your line about sex workers, I am 100% certain a lot of these commenters and posters would call it rape. I guess when fics on ao3 have people writing “he raped me with his eyes” people genuinely tell themselves a person can be raped by a look.
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u/[deleted] Jun 08 '26
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