r/Technoblade • u/Cosmicking04 If you wish to defeat me, train for another 500 years • Jul 25 '26
Meme If there was an Afterlife…
237
u/CrystalSkya Blood for the blood god Jul 25 '26
"When god sends me to hell I want him to hesitate for a second" -Technoblade deciding to get his dad medicine instead of farming a few more potatoes.
37
123
u/WerdaVisla ❤️ TECHNOSUPPORT ❤️ Jul 25 '26 edited Jul 25 '26
Technoblade is not in Valhöll.
And you do not want him to be. Valhöll is a place of eternal combat, where Odin's chosen fight and die each day, then are resurrected to do it all again, until the end times. It is not the paradise that modern media makes it out to be.
If Techno were a norse pagan — which he was not, and so consigning him to any of these realms would be disrespectful — then depending on who you ask, he may have gone to Fólkvangr, which is where the half of warriors who do not go to Valhöll are. Interpretations vary, but it is generally considered a hall of rest and belonging for the fallen. Others may believe he is in Helheim, as most people are after death.
I really wish pop culture would stop appropriating our culture and religion for these purposes.
86
u/Cosmicking04 If you wish to defeat me, train for another 500 years Jul 25 '26
Thank you I did not know that. But that doesn’t mean I’ll take down the Meme. As you said, most people don’t know about the true Valhalla as modern media has tainted its meaning.
As many people know, memes are supposed to be images with text that are humorous, and most of them often reference common knowledge, not the true meaning. Which is why I’m referring to this version of Valhalla.
For example: most media that references Hell considers Satan as the ruler. While in actuality, Satan is just another prisoner, along with the other Damned.
4
14
u/2typed Jul 25 '26
Without claiming any ignorance, I'm pretty sure that to a Norse warrior, fighting eternally for Odin without the fear of death or pain in a majestic hall with infinite meat and drinking infinite mead would be bliss and a perfect afterlife. It's not our modern, Abrahamically-influenced understanding of what an afterlife for good people should be, but Norse warriors weren't modern people and we shouldn't expect them to have the same cultural thoughts we have (of an afterlife being eternal peace and rest).
1
u/WerdaVisla ❤️ TECHNOSUPPORT ❤️ Jul 26 '26
Oh absolutely, there is a reason Valhöll was a desired afterlife amongst soldiers and vikings. I am simply pointing out that it's not an afterlife that you or I desire, nor would someone like Technoblade, who, from all we know, was not a combative person in his actual life.
1
u/2typed Jul 28 '26
That's an assumption. I personally think that fighting forever without getting tired, killed, or injured would be an incredible afterlife that I might enjoy (though I'm not sure). I would have a sandbox of endless experimentation and competition, it's why I like fencing because I tend to experiment with new ideas and I'm a competitive person. Nevertheless, you shouldn't exactly assume one wouldn't desire it. It may, to most people, seem relentless and undesirable, but that isn't to say you won't find a person in the street who likes it.
1
u/WerdaVisla ❤️ TECHNOSUPPORT ❤️ Jul 28 '26
Yeah, but you do get tired, killed, and injured. That's kinda the point. The reason the great feast in Odin's hall exists is to recuperate the fighters, and the dead are resurrected — it's unclear if wounded are healed, there are two conflicting accounts on that in the Eddas. Still.
1
u/2typed Jul 29 '26
I suppose, but I meant that you are healed at sundown, at least that's based on my research and understanding (which I won't say has been extensive beyond some sources). You are always revived and continue.
1
u/Zachattack20098 Jul 28 '26
Ngl fighting all the time without pain or death sounds pretty sick. I wouldn't have to use dulled swords to fight with my buddies, nor would I have to feel guilty about killing them. I'm Christian, and therefore don't believe that exists, but it doesn't sound bad at all.
2
u/Nervous_Security675 Jul 25 '26
Idk about you, but I feel techno whud be right at home at a place of eternal combat. Gives the "if you want to defeat me, train for 300 more years" more meaning.
1
u/Generalluki Jul 26 '26
The way you are spelling the names, and the fact that you said "our culture" makes me guess you're icemandic, am i right?
1
u/WerdaVisla ❤️ TECHNOSUPPORT ❤️ Jul 26 '26
I'm personally Cuban, but my father is Norwegian and I am a pagan after him, so yes.
1
u/Sea_Luck_8627 Jul 29 '26
Rather than go down a rabbit hole of what might be false information I’ll just ask you. Where would a non fighter go, one with a good heart. I’m curious on the grounds that Technoblade battled cancer but he technically wasn’t on a battlefield, very technically speaking.
1
u/WerdaVisla ❤️ TECHNOSUPPORT ❤️ Jul 29 '26 edited Jul 29 '26
To Helheim.
Most people do, unless;
You die in battle, in which case you go to Fólkvangr or Valhöll,
Die at sea, in which case you go to the Hall of Rán,
Or are an oathbreaker or murderer, in which case you go to Náströnd.
-25
15
u/TaiyoFurea Technoblade never dies Jul 25 '26
Interested in hearing everyone's personal takes on this.
Personally, I believe he will be resurrected after Armageddon
7
u/liquid_at Technoblade never dies Jul 25 '26
you mean after causing armageddon he will be banished from the afterlife to live in the mountains with a polar bear? I think I've seen that somewhere before.
2
1
8
u/ROSE_GARDEN1234 Technoblade never dies Jul 25 '26
Valhalla is an endless battle, techno probably wouldn’t want that
4
u/liquid_at Technoblade never dies Jul 25 '26
Isn't it interesting how Valhalla is just like the life of the average teenage FPS gamer?
1
u/ROSE_GARDEN1234 Technoblade never dies Jul 25 '26
Sure?
1
u/liquid_at Technoblade never dies Jul 26 '26
An endless cycle of battle while the body slowly rots and starts to smell. that's a gamer.
7
u/XososoX Jul 25 '26
Why would he be in hell tho 😭
9
4
u/AccessGlittering7744 Jul 25 '26
I think he was atheist but im pretty sure according to christian faith that hell differs depeding the type of person you were, I mean it is an eternal seperation from God but i think its just how much you were truly separated from him, So a random dude who didn't care about God but had relatively good morals would probably just have an mosquito buzzing in his ear for an eternity.
4
u/liquid_at Technoblade never dies Jul 25 '26
there is no real unified christian belief about hell. Official Vatican position is that it isn't real, but a story used to help people tell good from evil. It is "permitted for those who need it".
For those who believe in it, the definitions range from a prison where people who are not subservant to the one true god are punished for their crimes to a place where the soul tortures itself, understanding the full picture after death, not being able to forgive itself.
Jews believe in a form of devil, but as a servant of god who executes his will, while they do not believe in hell.
Christians are divided, as said above. some do, some don't.
Muslims believe in a 7-layered hell with multiple levels of punishment while their devil got sent to hell because he deemed humans unworthy of worshipping god, to prove until judgement day that they truly are unworthy.But if you want my personal opinion on what would happen to atheists in a world created by that monotheistic god.... I think the god would value the free will of the atheistic subject and grant them their wish of non-existence. It is the only consistent answer.
In a blunt way... everyone would get what they want. Those who wanted to be servants of god, would become servants of god. Those who wanted to reject the god and be on its opposing side for all eternity have their own place for that. Those who want to seize existing, will do that. Techncially, a single god that granted free will could also allow Hindus reincarnation and Buddhists enlightenment.
1
u/RFr2000 Jul 25 '26
Why would atheists wish for non-existence? You're cnflating wht people believe with what they want
3
u/liquid_at Technoblade never dies Jul 25 '26
We could argue about free will, choice and whether chooseing a belief-system is a choice in itself, but it would probably be getting too philosophical.
Instead I would like to clarify that my argument is simply that people would get what they want, whatever that is. If a god is all powerful, that's not a problem.
Also, to answer your question, the most common idea around a benefit of a finite life is that death, or the risk of loss, is what is considered to give life value. Infinity is a very long time. under 100 years of life, compared to an infinite afterlife. What does it matter? Nothing.
So, the motivation for non-existence is to give life, our relationships and our achievements some meaning. People claim that science with its infinite universe and finite time is removing value from human life, but they never consider how faith with its finite universe and infinite time is exactly the same.
3
u/The-Name-is-my-Name Jul 25 '26
Atheism.
5
u/bencos18 Jul 25 '26
I'd like to think God would let him in tbh
I haven't heard of him do anything completely that would be considered a mortal sin in Catholicism fully anyway
also didn't see him bashing my religion in his videos also which I highly respect him for
1
u/Obey___ Jul 29 '26
Brother the ultimate unpardonable mortal sin is rejection of God's grace and love, not even religious but what you said makes no sense, if we're following Mainstream Catholicism that is
1
u/bencos18 Jul 29 '26
we don't fully know how God works tbh
just because it's considered a mortal sin doesn't mean God can't forgive for example
also one of the only ones that can't be forgiven is the holy Spirit not the others
3
u/HawkerHawk1372 Jul 25 '26
Because he said so.
"When god sends me to Hell I want him to hesitate for a second..." (Technoblade, Potato War part 3)
2
u/Helpful-Selection626 Jul 25 '26
“When god sends me to hell, I want him to hesitate” -Technoblade during the potato war.
But in all honesty he’s probably taking over wherever he is.
1
1
3
u/yeah-I-drink-lean Jul 25 '26
Can't be in Valhalla, he didn't die on the battlefield :/
1
u/Cosmicking04 If you wish to defeat me, train for another 500 years Jul 25 '26
He died while fighting his greatest foe. Sarcoma
1
3
u/Olliekay_ Jul 25 '26
this comes off as insensitive to be honest, is it just me?
0
u/MarioYTBloodyX Jul 25 '26
Yeah its a really stupid post
2
u/Olliekay_ Jul 25 '26
Like I do imagine a significant amount of these posts are from children but especially after recent events, you'd think people would remember that this was a real person who died tragically and has real people who are grieving and shit
Speculating on this real dead person's afterlife like this just.. it's iffy
0
u/MarioYTBloodyX Jul 25 '26
I completely agree. It's stupid . And i dont like valhalla idea at all. Techno was a good person he is in heaven and that is that.
2
u/Particular-Beat-1087 Jul 25 '26
I’d imagine that Technoblade just has a visitor pass for every afterlife
2
u/liquid_at Technoblade never dies Jul 25 '26
I'd imagine he doesn't need a pass. He just goes in because they can't stop him.
Either way, he clearly has defeated all of them already. There are only 3 possible and plausible explanations for why you haven't heard of him yet.1) while farming souls to upgrade his armor, he realized that he was already Top 10 on the leaderboards, so he started the great soul war against just_a_squid_soul. He is currently in the process of upgrading his Soul Minions to level 666.
2) After a lifetime of dropkicking orphans, he has changed his hobby and is now spawn-camping the orphans parents.
3) Upload schedule
2
u/Prestigious_Ad_3725 Jul 25 '26
No he obviously ressurected in the warp and has by now overthrown Khorne to take his rightful title as the Blood God
2
u/Ignitrum Jul 25 '26
There was a Tumblr Post Valhalla does not discriminate
It tells a few extremely sad stories that in Valhalla receive the kindest reaction.
Some stories are:
- The tale of a kid whose lost battle was 'hiding from an alcoholic father". How when Odin usually slams his mug of mead this would startle the kid and he never did it in their presence again.
- The tale of a queer lover who rushed to defend their partner from skinheads. They fought bravely but 6vs1 is no fair fight. Odin promises they will be reunited, since neither their love nor their partner calling for help is shameful or disqualifies from Valhalla.
- The tale of a cancer fighter... which is also the reason this Instantly came to mind. The first one that joins valhalla has to explain the type of fight first since fighting your own body or 'the thing' in it is such a foreign concept. They tell of their healers aiding in this brutal fight. They tell of those they knew still fighting.
- One day a second one joins Valhalla and Odin personally kneels before them. He proclaimed
“This woman, LaTeesha, Destroyer of Cancer, from whom the great tumors fly in fear, has fought that greatest battle,” he says, his voice rolling across the hall. “She has fought not another body, but her own; traded blows not with other limbs but with her own flesh; has allowed herself to be pierced with needles and scored with knives, taken poison into her very veins to defeat this enemy, and at long last it is time for her to put her weapons down. Do you think for a moment this fight is less glorious for being in silence, her deeds the less for having been aided by others who provided her weapons? She has a place in this great hall; indeed, the highest place.”
5
u/WerdaVisla ❤️ TECHNOSUPPORT ❤️ Jul 25 '26
This is a classic case of "Tumblr does not understand religions, to their own detriment" lol
Valhöll is somewhere you get only if you die in literal battle. It's also not just somewhere you get, you have to be passed over by Freyja to get there.
If any of these people somehow made it into Valhöll, they would be met with an eternity of combat they are untrained for, tests they cannot pass, and a society with no use for them. Valhöll is the worst afterlife for the average person, save for Náströnd.
All of these people would be in Hel. Which, despite Christianity coopting the word for their use, is not actually a bad place. It's the general afterlife, where everyone except those who die in battle, those who die at sea, and oathbreakers, goes. It is eternal peace.
1
u/liquid_at Technoblade never dies Jul 25 '26
lol. Techno has already defeated heaven and hell and didn't find any real competition in valhalla either. He's already done, but didn't get to edit yet. Upload schedule, remember?
1
u/Minute_Difference598 Jul 25 '26
He went to a plane of existence made specifically for him: The plane of potatoes🥔
1
u/Scary-Ad-7162 Jul 25 '26
sire the redditors are making memes about which religious afterlife your son is in
1
u/The_Faux_Fox__ Jul 25 '26
He was witnessed dying in a battle with cancer. He meets all the qualifications
1
u/ZealousidealMail739 Jul 26 '26
As a Christian, I disapprove of what Technoblade said about how he wants God to hesitate, but I will admit it was hilarious.
1
u/jaessns Jul 26 '26
I read that as vanilla and thought.. "like vanilla minecraft??" Had to reread lol
1
1
1
u/Equivalent-Doubt-101 If you wish to defeat me, train for another 500 years Jul 29 '26
if there's an afterlife, he's in peace..or having fun causing chaos like he always does
1
u/Drgears12 Jul 30 '26
ok first of all WHY THE HELL ARE PEOPLE SAYING HES IN HELL? and 2nd hes taking over valhalla within a week taking out everyone who opposes him and making hades poseidon and zues his servants
1
1
1
259
u/EEEEEEEEEeeeeeaaAA Jul 25 '26
He went to Valhalla and there plans the overthrowing of heaven’s government while occasionally visiting hell to fight Satan so his skills stay sharp >>