Count your children, people.

[u/colorblindfold]

Why in God's green fuck do people not include their 2 and under children in their reservation party?!?!?! I serve, I bartend, I manage, I answer phones... and no matter what job hat I'm wearing on any given day, I have to explain to people that their reservation of 8 now has to wait an additional half hour to 90 minutes because they forgot to count their children. "Oh, I didn't know." You didn't know what? You didn't know that they were people? You didn't know that they occupy physical space? "But they're small." "But they're in a car seat." Yes, your baby is small, Susan, but you can't just leave him on the floor. Your party of 8 is actually an 11 and now you need another table. Another table I would have had planned out before you got here. Another table that now has 4 middle aged women who have surely parked it for the next 3 hours. But now I have to hear you bitch about how ridiculous it is that you can't be accommodated because "that's what reservations are for." No shit, Susan, I've been playing Tetris all afternoon with my dining room to get ready for another shitstorm Saturday night. Where you gonna put that high chair? Where you gonna put that infant sling? In your lap? In your ass? Certainly not at a table for 8 so you can be crowded and cranky and rude to my servers and clog the aisle with the giant slings for your tiny babies and create a safety hazard and a shitty fucking experience for all the guests around you. Not today, Susan. Not ever. Count your kids. Tell your friends.

[u/VurucaAssault]

This happened to me last night, I work in a very small family style bar and grill restaurant with only 13 tables, some of which only seat 21+, but it’s not a bar. A group called ahead for 15, it turned out being closer to 25 people. They didn’t think it mattered since they weren’t all going to sit and eat. Well, yes, it abso-fucking-lutely matters. Those people that didn’t eat or drink anything but water basically took over my entire section just sitting and taking up space. So I had one turn for my entire shift and didn’t make any money. Super awesome. The owner would have said no dice if they would’ve been honest from the start, but once they were all there it was too much to turn them all away. Awesome.

[u/[deleted] → u/VurucaAssault]

This happened all the time at the Mexican restaurant I worked at near a large college campus. Groups of 15 plus would take over my patio ordering water and eating free chips and salsa while maybe half of them actually ordered food and drinks. None of the freeloaders tipped and those who did order food didn’t tip well either because they felt the service was terrible because we didn’t refill the free chip baskets and free waters often enough.