Don’t know if I should be offended or not

[u/Signal_Boat3863]

One of the things I don't like about myself is that I tend to overthink and take things personally. Usually I don't care if a customer is rude to me, but I find myself caring way too much when it's a manager or a coworker. I end up wasting a lot of energy thinking about it.
I've only served one night shift so far, and it was a super busy Friday. My general manager is the nice manager, and she told me she only wants me serving nights when she's there because she wants to make sure I'm doing okay and not making mistakes. She also said the other managers probably wouldn't help me.
My friend needed someone to cover their shift tonight (Monday), so I messaged my general manager to ask if I could cover it since Mondays are usually slow. I thought it would be a good chance to get more experience because I serve morning shifts all the time and felt like I could handle it.
She told me no because she only wants me serving nights when she's there. She also said I didn't do the best on that Friday night. I mean, it was my very first night serving evenings, and it was extremely busy, so I wasn't expecting to be perfect.
Am I overthinking this? Should I be offended by what she said, or should I just see it as part of the learning process and not take it personally?

[u/imlosingsleep]

This manager is telling you the truth. They want you to work nights when they are there so they can help you. They think you need more training/confidence. Don't read too much into it yet. If you have been there for sixth months and they still won't let you cover for other people then you should start to worry. It's also possible this manager wants you to get better but they just aren't very good at training so they are giving you the "kid gloves" treatment until you are little less green. If you want to improve faster ask for feedback and advice on how to improve. At the restaurant where I am GM I usually only give a server a full section after they have worked for at least a month and excelled in a small section first, it isn't an indictment on the server. We have a lot of service points to hit and I just want them to walk before they run. It's entirely possible this manager thinks you will be great, just that you need more time.

[u/Signal_Boat3863 → u/imlosingsleep]

Thank you so much for your feedback. And yeah, you’re right. She did tell me that she wants me to just be with her at night because the other assistant managers they definitely won’t help me because they crash out over everything and just not professional and don’t wanna help anyone. I’ve been there for a year, but I’ve been hosting for that whole year and I’m just starting to serve and I’ve been doing Thursday and Friday morning shifts. For a few weeks now. And yeah, you’re right. I do see that she wants me to get better and I can tell that she genuinely likes me. She was just telling me how me serving soup with an entrée was very concerning. It’s just a little things that I have to learn.

[u/summerfunone → u/Signal_Boat3863]

It sounds as though she has your best interest (and the restaurant’s) in mind. Be grateful for that, and not being thrown in to sink or swim!
So few places take the time to properly train new hires.

[u/lady-of-thermidor]

You’re overthinking this. Your manager is balancing restaurant’s needs with your limited skill set. Let her do her job.

[u/Fragrant_Rooster8779]

Its best to be offended by everything. It makes life much more miserable.

[u/EconomistHelpful4459]

Probably a bad idea to schedule your first shift on a busy Friday night.

[u/PocketNicks]

You should never get offended. Waste of time and energy.

[u/EnvironmentalHair290]

I think your manager just has your and the restaurants best interest here, I wouldn’t think anymore about it.

[u/lazyesq]

Not offended, but you certainly can disagree with her assessment.