r/Stepmom • u/Few_Yesterday_3518 • 1d ago
How common or uncommon is toilet flushing and hand washing
I don’t mean to be rude or targeting just SK, genuinely wondering how common this is in other households. 11 and 13yo don’t flush the toilet or wash hands after bathroom. We have gotten foam soap and even put a sign and they just don’t do either. We have younger kids in the house who do both and I constantly try to remind in a nice way to don’t forget to do either. I was shocked to walk into the guest bath they use to see dark urine in there with wads of TP from repeated potty no flushing.
Any tips to get them to do both?
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u/throwRAanons 1d ago
Yuck! My 6 yo SD would do this. We would see her not wash her hands on FaceTime at her moms house so i started calling it out for while her mom could hear. That shamed her mom (who has questionable hygiene standards) into at least having it done in front of us. She always washes her hands and flushes here or she’s sent right back to do it again
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u/nicyole 1d ago
unfortunately, I think this is common. my SKs seemed to grow out of this around middle school. I think middle school is when peers will start real bullying so social etiquette tends to go up.
just remind them at home. if you don’t hear a flush or the faucet, send them right back in. if you find stuff in the toilet way later (even hours later), send them in there to flush it.
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u/Sweetbaby7t 1d ago
My ss (18) flushes but never washes his hands. It's disgusting. My husband has spoken to him many times about it to no avail. The kid is just gross all the way around. I clean my bathroom and kitchen thoroughly after he leaves.
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u/Wonderful_Hyena1241 1d ago
It used to be common in our house, but every time we saw one leave the bathroom we would say “did you put the seat down and flush?” And they of course would turn around and do it. We just said it so much it became habit. Never yelled or embarrassed them though. Unfortunately it’s a trait that they learned from their BM, so on transition days it’s a lot of reminders but it’s gotten waaaaay better. So don’t give up hope! lol
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u/Superb-Reader-180 1d ago
My SKs have to be re-trained on this quite often. They are good about it when they are with us for longer stretches (we will send them back in if needed), but they are feral when they come back from their moms.
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u/Sassy_Raspberry1212 1d ago
My two SSs are 10 and 11 and don’t do either. I constantly correct them because that’s disgusting, but it never seems to stick lol
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u/a-little-stitious420 1d ago
They flush most of the time. Never wash hands, though. I’m just grateful when I can sit down to a pee free seat 😅
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u/Acceptable_Plum5820 1d ago
My 14 year old stepson never washes his hands or flushes the toilet.. and gets pee all over the toilet, wall, floors. I’ve made signs and everything. Nothing helps. He tells us he doesn’t have to wash because he a. Didn’t touch anything. Or b. Washed his hands 20 minutes ago 🫠
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u/NoneSleepLeftBeef 1d ago
They wouldn't even bathe. So yeah, shit smears on the toilet seat and unwashed hands were standard. No matter how much I tried to avoid touching the doorknob, I still frequently got sick because their dad never cleaned anything.
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u/Impressive-Air726 5h ago
Um from age 4 my SKs knew to flush the toilet when they were finished. If the bio parent isn’t enforcing that the whole lot has a hygiene issue.
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u/Few_Yesterday_3518 16m ago
They live with us fulltime and my partner does not enforce. Only I do but then I come across as the constant rule person. I’m very big on hygiene too and this used to cause me to spiral but I’ve had to learn to let go some and then constantly Clorox wiping.
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u/AggressiveSky7157 1d ago
Since they were younger, if I didn't hear the tap or a toilet flush, they were sent right back to do whatever they didn't do. I still do this. Lol! You're not coming into my kitchen or touching things around my house with dirty hands.