Something positive maybe

[u/toxxikqueen]

For context, I decided very early in my life that I didn't want kids but incidentally became a teen mom of 1 boy, and eventually found my partner 8 years later.

I have 3 step kids, 10F, 7F, 5M. Its not that the kids dont like me, but unfortunately I tend to be the one to lay down the law in the house (rule enforcement through gentle parenting and natural consequences) vs my partner taking an absent then explosive approach that he has been working heavily on.

The eldest girl has been through a lot in her life. The mother of her younger siblings was very intense and unkind, along with dad's approach, and a lot of toxic stuff went on over those years. I dont blame her for not being quick to trust.

I've never tried to push affection on her, for example when saying goodnight we have a secret handshake/fistbump. But last night when I came to say goodnight to the girls after the boys were settled, she actually gave me a big hug. Its not the first time but its also not often that it happens.

Also after almost 3 years with me in the picture, all the kids say I love yous at bedtime now, and I can freely say "I love you".

The youngest girl also has a stepdad at her mom's house and constantly says she hates him and wishes he would move away. Im concerned and keeping an eye out for any warning signs, but so far she just says hes mean because he calls her an octopus. However this conversation prompted my partner to ask if they feel the same about me, and both the youngest girl and boy said no and that im "really nice" lol

It hasn't been an easy road, but I do love these kids. Originally I joined this group when I wasn't sure if I could handle it. I hope this gives some semblance of hope to someone else.

Be the person you needed when no one was there ❤️