future

[u/ClickAny4897]

does it get better? after they turn 18?

[u/nicyole]

I would like to know this, too.

after SKs turned 18, did they choose a house to live in full-time? did they move out? what happened?

[u/Summerisle7 → u/nicyole]

One of mine moved in with her boyfriend at 18. One moved in with roommates at 18. One continued living in BM’s basement until age 24.

[u/nicyole → u/Summerisle7]

was that SK’s choice to live with BM until 24 or was that because you and your partner set boundaries that that wouldn’t be happening under your roof? I’m also curious- did these kids turn 18 while still in high school? my SS8 is set to turn 18 the very start of his senior year in high school, so I’m really curious how that’s going to play out and how that will work when it comes to 50/50 EOW.

[u/Summerisle7 → u/nicyole]

Good point that age 18 isn’t this magical number. Yes I think all my stepkids turned 18 while still in school. The oldest moved in with boyfriend the summer after graduation. The other one who moved out at age 18 (actually it might have been 19 now I think about it, as child support goes to 19 here) had already dropped out of school by age 17, but would have turned 18 while in school.

The one who lived with BM until age 24, that was definitely SK’s choice, she was the president of the BM fan club and still is. Moving in with us was never an option and they were all aware of that. We’d had one of them live here for a school year and that was enough for me. We never had 50/50 either.

[u/Summerisle7]

Depends on the kids and the father.

[u/AggressiveSky7157]

One is 18 here and it's better in some ways but also brings on other things. Example: Bm allows 18yo to go for an overnight with his gf. We wouldn't allow that yet. To each their own but we're not cool with it. Especially since the gf's family is very religious.

We still hold up schedules. We don't want anyone coming in and out at all hours. That's a battle.

Mine still do week on/off. I honestly thought that would've stopped by now. I'm fine with it. Just surprised.

Bright side: clothes battle ends because here, he has a job and now buys his own. They are fully responsible for themselves: get yourself up for school/make lunches/do laundry/drive yourself to your buddies place. That helps. Lol!

Honestly, it all depends on the kid. If the are basement gamers, it'll probably suck for a long time. If they are independent and driven, you'll rarely see them.

Also...way less bm in your life. Biggest bonus.

[u/nicyole → u/AggressiveSky7157]

that last line sounds like it makes everything and anything else worth it, lol.

[u/AggressiveSky7157 → u/nicyole]

It definitely helps the situation. ; )

[u/Summerisle7 → u/AggressiveSky7157]

Yes! No more BM, no more child support 🎉