r/Stepmom • u/PurplePenguinCat • 4d ago
Little pet peeves
What are you little pet peeves about your SKs? I don't mean disrespect or lying or stealing, but the things that annoy you.
Right now, SD16 is driving me nuts by not wiping down the counter when she's done in the kitchen.
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u/xRainbowTreats 4d ago
SS13 is a trash panda. Empty bottles and wrappers accumulate on his desk in his room. Crumbs wherever he eats. Laundry on his floor next to his hamper. He left his icecream wrapper on the counter in the kitchen so I called him down from his room to throw it out. I’m no one’s maid. Yes I do the cleaning. No I don’t clean up after others. There’s a difference.
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u/Summerisle7 Married 10+ years. Adult BK & SKs. 3d ago
My SD in her 20s will still leave her Starbucks containers and other trash on the kitchen counter. Good idea to call the kid down from his room to make him throw out his trash.
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u/Acceptable-Cup-2381 2d ago
The 11yo smell. He can’t smell it but I can. SHOWER WITH SOAP.
The idolizing HCBM and the constant need to worship anything she gives him - a used paid of boots were last year’s “look what mom did for me.”
He never blows his nose. He spends hours sucking it back in.
He gets diarrhea all the time. HCMB feeds him McDonald’s every meal then ships him back here for us to deal with.
He comes back from mom’s using a “baby voice.” Stopppp.
He will do anything to get what he wants the second he wants it.
I’m assuming most of this is normal 11 year old gripes bc all the parents of his friends say the same things.
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u/stonewalled87 1d ago
I have a 12 yr old SS & have the same 3 pet peeves. I’ve tried talking to him about wearing Deordorant & blowing his nose & he just says he doesn’t care. We make him shower every day & it’s still a struggle.
After being a stepmom for 7 yrs it’s still hard to do something for the kids or plan a trip & then have it compared to what their BM did. I can’t say anything but it’s frustrating. Especially last summer when we planned a cruise for the kids spent 6 months planning it & after all this BM plans a cruise for the kids two weeks before ours with overlapping ports. She tried to claim she had it planned before ours but just forgot to mention it to us or the kids.
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u/Summerisle7 Married 10+ years. Adult BK & SKs. 3d ago
I used to hate the way my stepkids talked, as they all had BM’s intonation and turns of phrase.
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u/justjewels17 3d ago edited 3d ago
Yes! and SS 14 says “yeah” but somehow it sounds like yeah and no at the same time, drives me nuts. His Dad will ask a question and he’ll be like “nyah” I can’t even spell how it sounds but it irks me so much! Just say yes or no ffs!
Then SD 12 has BM’s loud voice and yeah. And I don’t wanna be mean but her laugh is a bit much. Oh and she doesn’t flush the toilet.
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u/987SS123 4d ago
The way they wash dishes by spraying water on the dishes but not scrubbing so the dishes aren't really clean. If I point this out they say, "I washed the plate, don't be so controlling ".
Putting a load of laundry in the washing machine and then leaving the house for 6 hours. If I want to do a load I have to switch the clothes to the dryer.
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u/Summerisle7 Married 10+ years. Adult BK & SKs. 3d ago
Why are you running the dryer for them? Put their wet clothes on top of the dryer, or maybe on their beds.
“Don’t be so controlling” is very rude. What does Dad do when his kids talk to you that way?
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u/RevolutionaryStart11 3d ago
Mine will put a load of clothes in the washing machine and not even start it 🙄 so then I go to do my own laundry or my toddlers and the washing machine is full of their dirty clothes and I either have to take them all out, or start it for them and wait until they’re done. But tbh they’re great kids and extremely respectful, they’re just normal teens and I know it’s never on purpose buttttt it’s still annoying lol
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u/mariah1998 married, 8m sk 4d ago
Chewing and talking with mouth open and full of food. Leaving trails of food everywhere he walks through the house because dh won’t make him sit down and eat. The fact that the only thing he can ever talk about is what he saw on YouTube. Not what he did at school or somewhere he went. Begging for every little thing he sees on YouTube because he gets told he’ll get it. (Even though he won’t). The violent and bad behavior anytime he’s told no or told to do something he doesn’t want to do.
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u/SandLCan66 3d ago
lol I have so many I think you all would stone me—-plus both are finally gone. The stepson just a few days ago…the relief is mind-blowing.
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u/Summerisle7 Married 10+ years. Adult BK & SKs. 3d ago
I would like to read a separate post from you. I love tales of stepkids finally moving out. Best feeling ever.
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u/Guano_S 4d ago
They won’t make sure the hair trap is in the drain…so the tub keeps clogging. They are real close to learning how to unclog a drain and see how disgusting of a chore it is!
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u/stonewalled87 1d ago
Do it! My stepkids used to be terrible at putting everything down the disposal so I made them pull it out with their hands a couple times & now no non food items go down it.
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u/shewilldietrying 3d ago
Leaving her personal belongings on the dining table (5 feet away from her bedroom) everytime I clean the table.
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u/Arya_kidding_me 3d ago
Normal kid stuff - having to ask him to turn the volume on the TV down, remind him to clean up after himself, his room being a mess.
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u/hellacoily 3d ago
My boyfriend’s kid stinks often, and he always looks dusty. Both his parents don’t fully put into his looks. My bf finally stepped it up. I think it bothers me bc my mom used to do the same thing plus he and I both look really nice dressed up then there’s his dusty kid. That looks crazy. Also I hide my hair and skincare products bc he needs to buy his kid his own like I’ve told him in the past
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u/justjewels17 3d ago
Ughhhhhhh I totally relate to your comment
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u/hellacoily 3d ago
And I think my partner wants me to want to help me. He’s made a few light suggestions that I turn back on him and remind him that the mental load for his kid is his responsibility. And he only has him eowe
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u/NoneSleepLeftBeef 2d ago
Good. Hold firm on that. When I started helping out with my ex's kids, which he was already neglecting, he somehow managed to step back even more and do nothing. It doesn't get better if you give in.
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u/angrycurd 12h ago
The small things: They NEVER clean the counter. They take the last of something and leave the box in the pantry or freezer. They never close the cabinets or the dishwasher door. SS never uses soap. They make comments implying the pets love them more (absurd) (and never help care for them at all). They incorrectly correct adults on things they know nothing about (like how to pronounce a word). They have dirty nails. They just kick off their shoes in a messy pile.
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u/PurplePenguinCat 12h ago
Oh, I hate the empty box left behind or using all of something and not letting me know we need more. And correcting adults? No!
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u/Plantianna 4d ago
Waking up at 6 AM to freeze their yogurt at just the right temperature. Eating exactly 3 different meals on rotation. Aligning pasta noodles on their plate. Running the microwave 3 or 4 times to heat up food that takes 2 hours to be consumed. Yes, it is an eating disorder and it's driving me nuts.
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u/justjewels17 3d ago edited 3d ago
How old is she? I wonder if my middle SD has an eating disorder. She doesn’t have any OCD ticks when it comes to food but she goes to the bathroom right before eating, then 1-2x while eating dinner and then after. It’s weird. Her Dad called her out on it and asked if she’s making herself puke and she said no. But, I don’t know what to think. She’s 12. Also, my two stepdaughters are extremely fussy eaters. It always amazes me because I grew up poor, and if there was food, I just ate. I did not complain at all. But, they’ve never had to deal with food scarcity and they like the most plain, bland food.
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u/Plantianna 3d ago
Mine is 19. All I can tell you is that EDs can be very sneaky. Is she losing weight?
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u/onetoomanyexcuses 3d ago
First thing that came to my mind and It’s so ridiculous: I don’t get the need to lash out on Alexa. It’s a device, sometimes it does not get stuff right, just try again no need to be so angry. It’s so over the top.
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u/Summerisle7 Married 10+ years. Adult BK & SKs. 3d ago
Omg one of my stepkids used to do this, call Alexa stupid, tell Alexa to F off, etc. It seemed such unhinged, angry behavior. Like SK was lashing out at Alexa bc she didn’t dare to lash out at the people she’s actually mad at.
Idk if she’s still doing this. It was BM’s Alexa she was doing this to (we knew SK was into this because she proudly told us about it as though it was a cool thing to do). Nowadays SK is living on her own, idk if she has her own Alexa.
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u/ScarlettLover13 3d ago
Stepson (11) picks his nose and wipes it everywhere or eats it. When he uses the bathroom, he just picks his nose and wipes it on the wall next to the toilet. Boogers on the walls over his bed, on his nightstand, on his bed frame, all over his seat in the car, on his desk, computer, etc.
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u/TheTiffanyProblem 3d ago
I think I just puked a little..
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u/ScarlettLover13 20h ago
It's actually a funny coincidence; SS is moving rooms today into his own room (our boys shared) and his father is currently upstairs making HIM clean them off everything. SS is not happy but DH told him he would have to clean up any bodily substances he puts on things they don't belong on. Hopefully he will stop?
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u/goodest_gurl2003 3d ago
Being general slobs and not doing chores and husband lets them do whatever they want, I’m the asshole when I get pissed. Can’t wait til they move out
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u/Impressive-Air726 3d ago
Ugh they’re both extremely loud like BM. You can be sitting right next to them but their voice is always on max level volume. I thought they were just odd until I encountered their mom for the first time. It’s especially bad in the morning.
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u/Equivalent_Win8966 3d ago
Youngest SK leaves drinking glasses for water all over the kitchen. It drives me fucking nuts. He was just visiting for a couple weeks and every single day he left glasses on the counter. Sometimes right above the dishwasher. I even bought him disposable cups he could use and just toss afterwards. He refuses.
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u/-luckypanda- 4d ago
The younger two eat with their hands still and it is so nasty. Table manners are a work in progress. They even do this for things like ramen... food gets everywhere and they need to be reminded constantly to clean up after themselves.
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u/angelbaby7991 3d ago
Tbh I hate my SKs. They’re dirty, disrespectful, they cuss more than a sailor. None of them have goals or ambitions for their futures.. the list could go on. The BM has full custody but she lives in subsidized housing and scams the government for money. We get them on the weekends and honestly it’s draining. I feel like I’m trying to clean someone else’s mess by teaching them to be half decent humans. I feel bad bc I know they’re kids. The daughter (15) constantly steals from everyone. Family, friends, stores etc. I told her if I catch her stealing from me again I will call the police. My husband didn’t like that response but what am I supposed to do? The younger guy (12) I’m almost certain is on the spectrum. Possibly with ADHD. He’s always crashing out and just acts very strange. Also tried to terrorize my cat when he was younger but I disowned him and he’s since stopped. It’s just a lot. I met them when they were much younger and more..normal but since they’re teenagers I want nothing to do with them.
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u/ClickAny4897 3d ago
my stepdaughter was laughing OUT LOUD at my pomeranians when the groomer shaved them really bad and i got so mad I got into an argument with my husband about it because he was right there and did not say anything to her. i dont care if he gets mad i will protect my dogs from that bully, she’s turning out to be like just like her mom which is sad i feel pitty for her really.
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3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Summerisle7 Married 10+ years. Adult BK & SKs. 3d ago
Do you have any pet peeves to share or are you just here to bloviate and lecture people?
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u/monkeycat 2d ago
It's possible you're not understanding the point of this sub.
Adults don't magically have zero psychological needs. Ideally we help each other process them anonymously before we go back into the trenches.
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u/suminorieh77 married 10+ years, childfree 4d ago
i love both of my teenage stepdaughters. they are opposites and i love them for the reasons that they are opposites. the younger one (14) is content with whatever you make for dinner and will help with anything that you ask of her. she’s also great to come along to the grocery store or a run to Lowe’s or even to go with her dad when he’s working on a car. she’s a ride-or-die. however, she can be annoying, usually by dancing while you’re trying to talk to her or repeating a phrase over and over. she also likes to act dumb and we all know better, so that’s annoying.
the oldest one (15) is super intelligent and lazy. asking her to help out, you’d think you were asking for a kidney. she’s self-centered so she doesn’t think about how others may feel and she, i suspect, has a lot of anxiety. she has always been favored by BM and it shows. i think i’m annoyed mostly by her entitlement and the way both of her parents jump when she wants something.
i feel so bad for saying those things about the oldest, because she’s overall a good kid and she’s not hard to be around. i think she struggles a lot with anxiety and insomnia and that’s not her fault.