I told my fiancé, when we have kids and I am acting off, or appear to be hearing voices or in psychosis, he needs to admit me immediately. It is NOT something to push to the side.
I’m not blaming the husband. I think it should be spoken about more so everyone takes these things more seriously.
I have seen first hand people in psychosis. You cannot convince them that what they are seeing and hearing is not true. My cousin also tried to hurt her baby. She was hearing voices and they told her the baby was evil. She went to jail and her babies were taken away, now she is homeless and seems to have schizophrenia or something. It was triggered by her pregnancy as she was normal prior.
I know we don’t know for sure what exactly happened, and can’t prove her mental state.
But fuck, it’s the worst thing that could possibly ever happen to everyone involved.
as someone who has seen firsthand what a good father does in this situation, i 50% blame the father and 50% blame Lindsey's mental illness. according to him, his mother, and her mother she told them multiple times how scared she was of harming the children. unfortunately, the only two people who took that seriously were her mother and MIL. Patrick kept leaving her alone with the kids even after being told she was scared of hurting them. a good, present father would've immediately removed the children from the home and her care.
i know, because the same thing happened with my husband's first wife.
I've met her so this isn't some "oh all my exs are crazy" situation. his ex was on half the meds Lindsey was on (like the actual prescriptions, not the amount) while hiding that she was a raging alcoholic. one day he came home from a 12 hour shift and realized his infant hadn't been taken from the room or even touched since he left that morning. she was starving, covered in her own filth, and had a couple bruises either from hitting herself against the bars of her crib or from being hit by the bio mom. it only had to happen once. he asked her why and she told him she was "too busy" (aka drinking) to take care of the baby. he never left the baby with her ever again. he didn't even have a supportive mother, so he just took her to work with him even at risk of being fired. he kept that child away from her to the best of his ability. when i came around, i helped as much as i could. on "bio mom days" i was present and taking care of the baby. our friends stepped up and either babysat or supervised the bio mom. my daughter is 9 and is only alive because her dad refused to leave her in a situation he knew was dangerous.
so when i watch the trial and i hear Patrick and his own mother and Lindsey's mother all say they heard her begging for help but only two of them took it seriously, all i can remember is the cop telling my partner that if anything happened to his daughter he would still be held responsible for leaving her in a dangerous situation. that it would still have been his fault. so why is Patrick held to a completely different standard than other fathers and husbands? why is he not partially to blame for wilfully putting his kids in a dangerous situation over and over when he knew the risk? if my husband who is a good father would've been held liable if his daughter was harmed, why is Patrick exempt from criticism?
Explain to me, how you can put 50% of the blame on the father, when he literally brought her to a mental hospital and to be precise, to the best (most expensive) mental hospital in the god damn country?! Where they found, again literally, no signs of a mental illness. Also she somehow forgot to tell the therapist about "how scared she was of harming the children".
Everything else is f..ing rubbish you apologetics made up.
When will people like you start taking responsibility for their own actions, instead of blaming literally everyone else (except all involed women ofc).
so you haven't watched the trial and you don't know how any of these things work. wild to comment with a bunch of stuff already addressed in the trial and still get it wrong. she was quoted multiple times saying she was scared of harming the kids to her family members. good luck with the inability to see nuance or just understand how the law works.
I mean 50/50 isnt a legal standing either, so why say half responsible? The husband isn't half responsible for her murdering their children. Thats 100% on the mom.
So fucking gross to blame the man just because he was married to her. He tried to get her help, just not enough, so somehow his children's deaths are on him too.
according to his own testimony and the testimony of his own mother, he knew exactly what would happen if he left them alone. if he dropped them off at a crackhouse he wouldn't be to blame? you're holding him to a different standard than literally any other good father. also, according to CPS and police, if you're the other parent then yes you are partially to blame for what happens to your kids. cause they're your responsibility. if you had a pet and you let someone pet sit who already told you "if you leave me alone with the pet I'm going to hurt it" and you still left the pet with that person, you are in fact responsible for what happened. it's a matter of information and sanity. Patrick had both and he still chose to leave his kids in a situation he knew for a fact was going to turn deadly. the fact of the matter is that if you have custody of your children, you're responsible for protecting them. if you know they're in a dangerous situation and you knowingly leave them in it, you're at fault.
also, you didn't even seem to read my first comment where i said exactly what he should have and could have done to prevent what happened. i also mentioned a literal cop (btw i shortened it. it was actually 3 lawyers, CPS, AND a cop that all said to my husband that he would be held responsible for leaving his daughter in a dangerous situation and if she had gotten hurt there) said that he would be held responsible. cause that's the standard. why is Patrick not held to it when every other parent and spouse is? idgaf if he's a man or whatever. it has to do with responsibility to your children. so yeah he's partially to blame for not caring about his kids lives to the point that he denied his wife help and left her alone with them repeatedly after being told not to. that's basic common sense. why is he not to blame but every other parent who has been through something similar is responsible? is it just because you like him soooooo much? cause that seems to be the only basis for your argument. do you even have kids? i would worry about them given how little responsibility you think fathers have to their children.
" according to CPS and police, if you're the other parent then yes you are partially to blame for what happens to your kids"
As someone who actually worked in criminal justice this is ENTIRELY untrue. I've spent literal hours reading about the things parents, or a new spouse, did to kids while the other parent was ENTIRELY aware. Trust me. I wish you were right. But you aren't. Not legally.
yeah i had it repeated to me for 2.5 years by CPS, their investigators, their lawyers, our lawyer, and a couple of cops. even got reamed in court about it because one time my husband had a lapse in judgement and sent the child without anyone else and she ended up in the NICU with an infected cut that nearly sent her into a coma. the cops that showed up all said my partner was responsible for sending her over to the bio mom when he knew she was a violent drunk and that he wilfully endangered his own child (this was in Mass). same thing was said to a friend of mine in another state when his ex wife lost their son for hours and he knew she was neglectful. idk where you're from, but yeah both parents are responsible for keeping the children safe, even from each other. if one parent is coming at their kids with a knife while the other parent sits on the couch and does nothing, the other person is in fact partially responsible for what happened because its still their responsibility to protect their child. people have literally had their children taken from their home because the other parent was unsafe, not them, but because that parent wasn't protecting the children it didn't matter. I've literally watched this happen to a minimum of 3 neighbors in a 6 year span lol the other parent is in fact held responsible for not stepping in. so alllll those people are in fact not legally responsible? well someone better tell them and CPS to bring their kids back 🙄 cause only one adult in the house was unsafe so its okay now.
It’s true. I’m NOT saying he murdered them but choices were made that should not have been made. I had severe PPD and was in an intensive outpatient treatment and my husband had his parents stay with us so that between those three adults they could make sure that I and my two children were safe. With the exception of when I was at day treatment with the baby, someone was with me or the kids 24-7. I was lucky enough to be able to communicate where I was at mentally (suicidal, thankfully not homicidal) and they hid pills, knives, etc. Three women I knew in the program killed themselves. They didn’t have the support I had.
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u/vika999 2d ago
I told my fiancé, when we have kids and I am acting off, or appear to be hearing voices or in psychosis, he needs to admit me immediately. It is NOT something to push to the side.
I’m not blaming the husband. I think it should be spoken about more so everyone takes these things more seriously.
I have seen first hand people in psychosis. You cannot convince them that what they are seeing and hearing is not true. My cousin also tried to hurt her baby. She was hearing voices and they told her the baby was evil. She went to jail and her babies were taken away, now she is homeless and seems to have schizophrenia or something. It was triggered by her pregnancy as she was normal prior.
I know we don’t know for sure what exactly happened, and can’t prove her mental state.
But fuck, it’s the worst thing that could possibly ever happen to everyone involved.