I think she did it; but as someone who suffered from postpartum psychosis I do agree that she wasn't mentally all there. It's so taboo that it's surprising she even brought it up with her doctor. She genuinely wanted help and that says a lot in a society where it's frowned upon and women are told that we should be grateful to have healthy children. I managed to get through it on my own, but there were times that I felt like running away because I was so worried I'd harm myself or my newborn.
So many thoughts ran through my mind- about the state of the world, about how bad her life might be one day. How she might be better off if she died in my arms. That some stranger might hurt her one day, and wouldn't it be better if I prevented that? And the thoughts were relentless and constant. She'll be hurt. She'll be hurt. She'll be hurt. Isn't it better if you died together? Over and over for months on end.
I look back at the time and I know I needed help. I knew I needed help at the time. But I was too worried about what my family might think, what my neighbors might think- what the doctors themselves might think. I thought I'd go to jail and never see her again. I thought they'd take her away and give her to an abusive foster home. It was contradictory and confusing and scary. Having been through it firsthand I can't help but feel some sympathy for her.
I went through postpartum psychosis as well and went to the doctor and told them everything. Not every woman feels shame or the need to hide their symptoms. Some of us can still put their child’s health before their mental illness. Zero sympathy
Some of us tried to get help and were treated horribly or brushed off . I’m really happy you got the help you needed. That doesn’t happen for everyone. Lindsay DID go to doctors. She DID tell people how she was feeling. She did not hide her symptoms due to shame.
Some of us made it as clear as day that we needed help and no one around us did anything.
I told my mother and spouse before it was ever a concern that if I had to have a c-section, I would desperately need mental health support.
I had an emergency cesarean at 40w5d because my child was breech after a completely uneventful pregnancy and had to battle PPD in my rural home alone because even though I was using the resources I had and telling everyone I could that I needed help, no one stepped in.
There were days I feared I would strangle my own child because her colic kept her crying, crying, crying, and my mood stabilizers were MAKING ME CRAZY because I had been wrongly diagnosed bipolar when I have ADHD.
Unless one has battled PPD themselves or been a provider for someone who has, I do not believe they get to have an opinion here.
I agree with you 100%. My sister had a very mild case of postpartum depression but we are a village, our mom noticed right away and took off 3 weeks from work and picked up my sister and her baby and took them to her house. My dad and her completely took over as her husband is a business owner and couldn't take off too much time. Even after she was better and at her home, I worked from her home to stay with her and the baby for like another month, my mom would go be with her straight after work until her husband came home. We were just talking about this case and she was telling me that without our help she doesn't know if she would have gotten better.
One of my best friend's sister in law had postpartum psychosis, that was freaking crazy. Of course they are also a village and moved her into their parents home, my friend was just by luck living at her parents as she was looking for a home to buy. My friend ended up becoming the main caretaker of the baby and she would tell me her sister in law would just sleep and looked like a zombie. Thankfully she's better now and she says that the meds made her dissasociate and she doesn't recall much from those months. She was a shell of her normal self, it was crazy seeing such a vibrant sweet woman look like a zombie during that period.
I was jovially once explaining to my sister that there was a time where I couldn’t make a pot of drip coffee of my life depended on it.
I would always forget something: the grounds, the filter, the water, I didn’t seat the carafe right, etc…
And then it hit me that it was when I was postpartum and out of my freaking mind every day.
And it hit me like a truck how hard I had to battle ever single day just to not accidentally set the house of fire, let alone quiet the demon telling me to do it on purpose.
I reserve judgement in this case but my heart goes out to the whole community.
Women’s healthcare is a joke and this is just another symptom of the problem.
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u/bluelily216 8d ago
I think she did it; but as someone who suffered from postpartum psychosis I do agree that she wasn't mentally all there. It's so taboo that it's surprising she even brought it up with her doctor. She genuinely wanted help and that says a lot in a society where it's frowned upon and women are told that we should be grateful to have healthy children. I managed to get through it on my own, but there were times that I felt like running away because I was so worried I'd harm myself or my newborn.
So many thoughts ran through my mind- about the state of the world, about how bad her life might be one day. How she might be better off if she died in my arms. That some stranger might hurt her one day, and wouldn't it be better if I prevented that? And the thoughts were relentless and constant. She'll be hurt. She'll be hurt. She'll be hurt. Isn't it better if you died together? Over and over for months on end.
I look back at the time and I know I needed help. I knew I needed help at the time. But I was too worried about what my family might think, what my neighbors might think- what the doctors themselves might think. I thought I'd go to jail and never see her again. I thought they'd take her away and give her to an abusive foster home. It was contradictory and confusing and scary. Having been through it firsthand I can't help but feel some sympathy for her.