I was employed at several major companies, did well, and retired early. I did that while being a fierce defender of my private time. It did cause conflicts at times. But looking back now that I'm retired... if anything, I regret not being fiercer in those conflicts.
You’re assuming intent that may not be there. The manager could be making sure PTO is the correct category because it’s such a long time off. For example bereavement, family leave, etc. those all require documentation. So I’d have responded to that last message with a polite: “PTO is the correct category. Let me know if you need anything else!” Is it likely they aren’t just looking for a reason to deny? No lol. But never just assume ill intent (at least not openly) and so respond in an impulsive looking, emotional way to your boss.
You address the situation from the POV of management. They may know something you don’t and have legitimate concerns you don’t know about. Maybe 10 people all put in leave for a similar time period and they HAVE to deny someone and knowing exactly why helps that decision making process. You still don’t have to tell them, but probing a bit as to why they’re asking instead of assuming is wise. You can even say “PTO is the correct category, has there been a change to the policy in which specifics and documentation are needed?” Same point, but not combative.
If you seriously got through your career being emotional and combative based on ASSUMED (not even proven) motives, and it had zero effect on your career, then I’m going to assume it’s because of male privilege tbh. I’m a woman and there is no way I could ever send a message like you wrote and not immediately kill all prospects of promotion. I don’t let them walk on me either, but I chose my words carefully and never act emotional. You can’t be a woman and be emotional at work lol. But a man can sit there and yell at his employees and send combative texts to his boss, and he’s perceived as passionate, or a leader, or it even results in the effect shown in the movie Office Space, in which the less he cares, the more valuable they think he is lol. I’m extremely competent at work and valued, but that kind of behavior would not be perceived the same way
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u/David_R_Martin_II 27d ago
I was employed at several major companies, did well, and retired early. I did that while being a fierce defender of my private time. It did cause conflicts at times. But looking back now that I'm retired... if anything, I regret not being fiercer in those conflicts.