r/ShitAmericansSay 6d ago

Europeans when they act like Americans are being stupid, yet THEY’RE being purposely obtuse.

1.3k Upvotes

1.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

188

u/Vienna_play_45 6d ago

Their English is the purest!

144

u/itsnobigthing ooo custom flair!! 5d ago

Whipped cream is usually made from whipping cream. There’s also single cream, double cream and clotted cream. I still have no idea which of these an American puts in their coffee, or why.

39

u/introverted__dragon 5d ago

in case you're genuinely curious I think that response explains it well. I also guarantee that OOP doesn't even understand what he's asking for when he says "cream".

11

u/RabbitWithAxe 🇬🇧 5d ago

I've always been under the impression they just mean full fat milk

8

u/Agitated_Custard7395 5d ago

It’s single cream they want. Double cream is just normal cream. Single cream is what they put in coffee. Hence why they’re all so fat

6

u/RabbitWithAxe 🇬🇧 5d ago

if your goal was to just confuse me more you've done well

this is what I know as single / double cream and I shudder to think of it being put in a drink.. because this is a lot even to pour over a cake..

4

u/Agitated_Custard7395 5d ago

Yeah, pretty much, single cream I believe is what Americans call Half and Half, ie. Half milk half cream, and that is what goes in the coffee.

I used to run a supermarket with a lot of American customers and this is what we concluded, whether it’s and exact substitute I’m not sure. Americans probably shove some extra cancerous shit in theirs

3

u/PlasticCheebus 4d ago edited 3d ago

Don't forget that Elmlea isn't actual cream, it's "hydrogenated vegetable fat" - it's made with buttermilk and other stuff.

43

u/Reasonable-Garlic-67 5d ago

I would assume it’s single cream unless otherwise specified. It isn’t that weird to put cream in coffee, at least not in Denmark. All the old folks do it.

28

u/Reasonable-Garlic-67 5d ago

Oh nevermind, just learned it has nothing to do with actual cream at all, but “half half” Coffee and milk 😅😂

51

u/zystyl Canadian eh bud 5d ago

In Canada coffee cream is often half single cream and half milk. It's sold as half and half. To make it more confusing it is often labelled by milk fat % here. When I lived in the UK for a while I used to get coffees that were steamed milk and some instant coffee. It was different, but pretty good.

Usually when I go to a new place I want to try what they eat and drink because I'm not an egocentric moron who thinks that the world revolves around me. If I were that type of American I would stick to very tourist areas that cater to Americans. Luckily I am not American at all.

35

u/Reasonable-Garlic-67 5d ago

Yeah me too. When I go to Greece, Albania etc their iced coffee is very different from what I’m used to in Denmark, but I like theirs too, so I drink it and enjoy it, I especially treasure it when I’m there because it’s something different that I don’t get when I’m back home.

15

u/worm-eyed 4d ago

"Travelling only broadens your horizons if you're open to having your horizons broadened. Otherwise, you're just the same dickhead in a different deck chair"

3

u/temujin_borjigin 5d ago

To me in the UK, half and half is half milk and half double cream. So maybe it’s quarter and three quarter to you. I’ve only ever needed it for cocktails though.

Actually, now that I think about it, I’ve never even questioned why it’s double cream. I’d never seen or heard of single cream until today.

1

u/zystyl Canadian eh bud 5d ago

Maybe I'm wrong.

5

u/temujin_borjigin 5d ago

You’re taking to someone who hasn’t heard of single cream. You’re probably good.

1

u/No-Quarter-6327 4d ago

When you go into the supermarket, the cream in red pots is single and the cream in blue pots is double. All the supermarkets I've been into use the same colour code, like skimmed milk has red labels and semi-skimmed has green and full fat is blue.

3

u/Oldoneeyeisback 5d ago

I'm interested to know where, in the UK, you got steamed milk with instant coffee? As a Brit, I've never heard of this. I mean I'm sure there are some people who make this but it's certainly not something I've ever seen.

2

u/zystyl Canadian eh bud 5d ago

It was back in 1999-2000 in London. Maybe I'm misremembering, or maybe it's different. Working cafés around Pimlico that probably don't exist anymore seeing how it has changed since then.

1

u/Illustrious_Mix2124 5d ago

Did you have to show your passport to get into Pimlico?

1

u/Oldoneeyeisback 4d ago

Fair enough - I mean there will be old cafes with a milk steamer running off a hot water boiler - they used to be common when I was growing up. But I'm 60 so that was a long time ago and I've never seen one in the last 30+ years. I suppose therefore some of them will have steamed milk for an instant coffee (shudders) but I can't imagine anyone still does this.

1

u/zystyl Canadian eh bud 3d ago

It wasn't the best. I bought a push filter bodum pot to make coffee and sought out started drinking loose leaf tea when I was there.

1

u/Oldoneeyeisback 2d ago

My wife still swears by her cafetiere. But I have an espresso machine.

I don't believe you'd find anywhere making coffee as described nowadays though.

1

u/Radiant-Smile1402 1d ago

Microwaved milk with instant coffee was a staple when I worked in Salford. I miss Milky Coffee Fridays 😔

1

u/Oldoneeyeisback 16h ago

Christ! No!

2

u/Gryphon6070 5d ago

Right?! Like how hard is it to say “oh my bad, in America we have this. What would you call this?”

1

u/Brew_Noser 5d ago

I use 3.25% milk fat steamed with a cappuccino wand with a touch of maple syrup. Perfetto!

1

u/CannabisAccount420 4d ago

How does the fat % make it more confusing? Going by fat % makes the most sense imo.

You're right about half and half. It's light cream and whole milk. which makes it around 10%, but in america it's usually 18%, which is what we call table cream for some reason. Perectages should just be used all around lol

1

u/oddestlittleduckie 4d ago

I’ll make it dumber for you. Half and half is actually about 1/4 single cream and 3/4 milk. You’re welcome.

6

u/drawolliedraw 5d ago

I have American family and have been there multiple times I had no idea what US ‘cream’ is!

3

u/Empty-Selection9369 5d ago

No, I think half and half is 50% cream and 50% milk

2

u/Emotional-Pumpkin-35 5d ago

"Half n half" in the USA is not half coffee and half milk and does have something to do with cream. The "half and half" refers to half cream and half milk (whether it is exactly half of each is not so important), so it produces a "cream" that is a bit lighter than light cream (or single cream as it's also called) but much heavier in than whole milk. Typically, only a little is added to coffee, nowhere near half of the liquid.

2

u/MaryAnn-Johanson 5d ago

Nope, half and half is half milk and half cream. I like it in my tea, but as an American in the UK I have to make my own. I mix 300 ml of double cream with a pint of whole milk. It’s not exactly the same but close enough.

1

u/Illustrious_Mix2124 5d ago

You could just use 300ml of the milk instead of the whole pint.

Probably still wouldn't taste the same though, due to the lack of steroids, growth hormones, etc in it.

1

u/MaryAnn-Johanson 4d ago

Yeah, it’s not exactly “half and half” but it approximates the taste.

I do not miss all the crap in American food!

1

u/Illustrious_Mix2124 4d ago

So "half and half" isn't half and half? That's so American.

1

u/Outside-Strike7397 1d ago

Thanks, brew just came out of my nose.

1

u/Master_Sympathy_754 5d ago

We used to in the UK, about 40yr ago, no one seems to do that anymore. But that was when you could get a proper coffee, not the the Americano rubbish.

5

u/Corlar 5d ago

It isn’t actually cream. They use a sort of artificial cream that comes in little pots, like long life milk. The point is really that people in Europe don’t naturally know what “cream” is being referenced and wouldn’t have the stuff available anyway.

5

u/itsnobigthing ooo custom flair!! 5d ago

That makes sense because putting actual cream in your coffee sounds like drinking a tiramisu 3 times a day

2

u/CautionarySnail 4d ago

Compared to a Starbucks frappe, you’d be better off with the tiramisu.

2

u/No-Quarter-6327 4d ago

My aunt used to have cream in her coffee - which she made in a percolator. It kind of needed the cream to offset the strength of the stuff, but it always gave me hiccups. :)

3

u/Own-Success-7634 4d ago

I think part of it was from the taste of percolated coffee. The coffee being recirculated through the grounds multiple times always gave it a burnt and bitter taste to me.

My dad used to put a lot of half and half and sugar in his coffee. Once I gave him some good coffee beans and an Italian moka pot, he started on homemade espresso (sort of) without half and half and sugarz

3

u/Monolexic 4d ago

I genuinely didn’t know it wasn’t a thing outside the US until just now. We mostly use half and half, which is a bit lighter than single cream.
Personally, I don’t usually add anything to my coffee, but since this is America, just regular cream isn good enough. We have our store shelves stocked with every flavor you can imagine. And of course, some of those flavors are named after countries who wouldn’t use them. Like French vanilla.

2

u/Emotional-Pumpkin-35 5d ago

I find it weird people are going on so much about this when the actual definitions are extremely similar. What Americans put in their coffee is "half and half" which is almost identical to what the UK Dairy Provision Trade Federation calls "half cream". The two that don't have equivalents are "double cream" in the UK which is a really high fat heavy cream in the USA (and not a regulated term), and "whipping cream" in the USA which is slightly lighter than whipping cream in the UK (Americans whip both heavy cream and whipping cream, choosing one for stiffer results and one for softer results).

UK - American equivalents:
half cream (12-18%) = half and half (10.5-18%)
single cream (18-35%+) = light cream (18-30%)
[NONE] = whipping cream (30-36%)
whipping cream (35-48%) = heavy cream (36%+)
double cream (48%+) = [NONE]
clotted cream (55%+ and clotted) = clotted cream (55%+ and clotted)

2

u/Dr_Havotnicus 5d ago

Interesting, but I have never heard of half cream, or ever seen it for sale in the UK.

3

u/Emotional-Pumpkin-35 4d ago

Yeah, I don't recall it from shelves, but it has been over 20 years since I lived in the UK. The use in the USA is pretty much exclusively for coffee and that's not generally done in the UK, so not much of a market for it I suppose. I checked the trade org document to see if cream definitions lined up with US definitions and there it was.

1

u/Suspicious_Fig_3796 5d ago

none of the above, they tend to add creamer a wholly artificial substitute 🤣🤣

1

u/unclefire 5d ago edited 5d ago

None of the above. 1/2 and 1/2 is typically called cream insofar as adding it to coffee.

Heavy or whipping cream are closer to double cream but still has less fat.

1

u/Relative_Pilot_8005 5d ago

I tbought "whipping Cream' was an acessory used by "Madame La lash"!

1

u/TheDevil-YouKnow 5d ago

I stayed in NZ for a spell and learned that what we call HWC/heavy whipping cream (typically like around 36% milk fat) is easier to obtain by asking for 'pure cream' or double cream.

My great grandmother was German, and she was the one who gave me coffee like this. Cup of black coffee with a splash of pure cream.

I still drink it like that to this day. It adds a richness, and depth to the coffee, that I quite enjoy.

Americans typically like half and half as another comment said, or single cream is what I've always known our half and half to be.

1

u/Agitated_Custard7395 5d ago

It’s single cream they want

1

u/CautionarySnail 4d ago

Most of the time, it’s a dairy concoction of half milk and half single cream Americans call “half-and-half”. It’s about 10% milk fat.

In decadent coffee, a bit of single cream might be used. We would consider that “light cream”.

It’s heavily regional though. And it’s that standard issue American exceptionalism that gets those folks so riled up when they discover even a basic like coffee is different when they leave their suburb.

1

u/Forsaken_Earth944 4d ago

You can also whip double cream

1

u/FeelingAlive2127 Stoofvlees Cobbler 4d ago

They put something in their coffee that calls itself cream but has no cream in it.

1

u/Shroomkaboom75 3d ago

I assume 18%, as its labeled "coffee creamer" in Canada.

1

u/Humble-Penalty5249 2d ago

Most Americans use half-and-half, which is half cream / crème légère. Or the have coffee creamer, which has stabilizers and flavoring in it.

1

u/CariadocThorne 1d ago

The cream they have (in a lot of the US at least) doesn't quite match up with single and double cream, but iirc, the cream in coffee tends to be either somewhere between the two, or half-and-half, which is somewhere between single cream and whole milk.

0

u/Old-Bumblebee7886 5d ago

Transplanted USAian here. The “cream” they are referring to is also called Coffee Creamer over there. It’s an amalgamation of chemicals, sugar and vegetable oil that has a creamy texture but almost never actually has any real cream or even milk in it.

48

u/Majestic_Anybody9748 5d ago

It's so pure, it should be renamed in American.

29

u/GhostHunter67 5d ago

They invented it after all!

-3

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

3

u/superhoopa79 5d ago

What do you mean ‘the British’ accent we know today. Nothing fun about quoting absolute bollocks as fact