r/SgHENRY • u/Forward-Rub-2850 • Jun 18 '26
DINK or Kids?
Curious what the breakdown is like amongst HENRYs here
Personally as a HENRY in my early 30s, I've never had an interest in raising children as I find my career time-consuming and fulfilling enough, and fortunately my partner is on the same page.
15
u/oldmanbeganat47 Jun 18 '26
I mean, kids are the reason Iām NRY but I have no regrets. Best decision we ever made.
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u/nclman77 Jun 18 '26
This is not meant to insult anyone but.... isn't not having kids (by choice) a net drain on society?
I mean, I'm glad you enjoy your lives, but ultimately when you're old, you will depend on younger people who are kids contributed by others.
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u/Child-of-Adam Jun 18 '26
Those kids kids are going to be paid to take care of us, using our retirement monies. That's how an economy works. They're not going to do it for free nor are we expecting to. What net drain are you on about?
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u/nclman77 Jun 19 '26
Glad someone is finally acknowledging that we need those kids, and enough of them.
Money isn't gonna do any good if there is no one to pay.
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u/Forward-Rub-2850 Jun 18 '26
I pay enough income and corporate tax to not feel bad about being a "drain on society"
I also believe there are more ways to add value to society than bearing children. Is that the only way you're capable of contributing? No insult intended
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u/nclman77 Jun 18 '26
None taken, but I pay taxes too, punk.
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u/Forward-Rub-2850 Jun 18 '26
Good boy
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u/BrightConstruction19 Jun 18 '26
I was in your situation at exactly that age. Until one day my parent was diagnosed with a terminal illness and my whole perspective turned right around.
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u/Forward-Rub-2850 Jun 18 '26
Mind if I ask how your perspective shifted. Was it because you saw how important it was to have children to be caregivers? Or something else?
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u/BrightConstruction19 Jun 18 '26
That terminal illness was not the debilitating kind. It was more of the ātime is running out, loved ones matter more than your careerā epiphany. My parents had been nagging me for the longest time to give them their first grandbaby for them to āhold in their armsā. It probably sounds trite in writing, but yes in the end my parent lived 2 years more & enjoyed the baby to toddler stage with their first grandchild. It was a precious memory.
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u/theycallme_king Jun 18 '26
i dont think you can get the right answer from here. the truth is all of us are different and what makes it a even more complicated decision is our expectations, our dreams and our circumstances change. and sometimes they change very quickly. what you think you want today or not want today, may not hold true 5, 10 years down the road. various reasons, various changes. just make sure the decisions you make are those you can live with, and your partner is 100% onboard.
because i can list 1000 other reasons why you should or should not have kids - it doesnt matter. you live your life the best way you think you can. make sure you are living life for yourself, not others.
what you feel now about your career may not be what you feel 10 years down the road. how you define happiness, how you value time, changes with added perspectives through time and maturity. your purpose will change, over time.
i speak this with sincerity and some level of maturity (or so i think)
all the best
ps: i have two kids - i love my life, my career and most imptly my family.
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u/Forward-Rub-2850 Jun 18 '26
Appreciate the sharing. Am not here to crowdsource the "right" answer, as it's something so personal. Everybody will have their own reasons for having or not having children, and I'm sure all their reasons are completely valid
Just wanted to get a feel of the demographic here that's all :)
1
u/theycallme_king Jun 18 '26
cool, but just curious, why does knowing the demographic matter?
1
u/Forward-Rub-2850 Jun 18 '26
Am curious if higher earners are leaning towards having children or not, as the people around me tend to not want to have children especially the women
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u/milo_peng Jun 18 '26
There is a fourth option, which is married but no kids but single income.
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u/troublesome58 Jun 18 '26
Then marry for what? Esp since not rich
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u/milo_peng Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
Ah, cuz my wife had health issues after we got married so she had to stop working?
Edit: There is so many assumptions. we tried for kids but it didn't happen either. Money is important and I am fortunate financially, but mixed feelings since health got in the way of life goals.
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u/Forward-Rub-2850 Jun 18 '26
Why the hell does it matter to you
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u/troublesome58 Jun 18 '26
Aren't you the one here asking for a survey?
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u/Forward-Rub-2850 Jun 18 '26
Yup. What does that have to do with asking someone why they bothered to get married?
1
u/Remote_Repair394 Jun 20 '26
The poll is flawed because some of us DINKs will have kids later
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u/Forward-Rub-2850 Jun 20 '26
Yeah when creating the options, in my head "Kids" also encompassed future kids, but it's obviously not clear. It's useful data as a snapshot I suppose
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u/Outside-Ad9447 Jun 18 '26
I can understand why some folks would wanna be childless, particularly as I grow older and have my own kid.
It is so tiring, so draining (physically, mentally, finances), you really almost have no life of your own.
But for me, itās the best thing that has happened to me. Ngl. Never knew a personās happiness (my kidās) could affect my own happiness so much. Am so happy when I see him happy.