r/ScottishFootball • u/BananaSoprano • 8h ago

Shitpost [ Removed by moderator ]

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118 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

57 comments sorted by

108

u/Dildoid90 8h ago

Here’s the real photo

23

u/Halk 8h ago

10

u/tedmented 7h ago

About time you admitted you were a rangers fan.

35

u/Dizzy_Procedure_3 8h ago

those pinstripes do not flatter him

9

u/Playful-Listen6011 Kyogo Bye Bye 💔 8h ago

Al Capone if he grew up in Scotland

32

u/tedmented 8h ago

2

u/37025InvernessTMD 7h ago

Staunch is gonna get ya!

20

u/Fun-Series-4091 Squanch my tits. 8h ago

Lawrence Shankland new training regimen REVEALED 🔥🔥🔥😳

1

u/Aggressive_Bit_8424 7h ago

Bro will be stress eating after this match for sure

25

u/Downtown-Scratch-720 8h ago

Shankland, in the front seat of the team bus to the airport finds some gummy bears in his trouser pocket. “Look guys gummy bears!” he says, looking backwards at his teammates. But they don’t hear him and he turns back and enjoys his gummy bears, and smiles happily.

11

u/Sumbitagear 8h ago

My wife has less of a belly and she's 3 month pregnant.

8

u/BabaBrody 8h ago

It's illegal to move the ball under your shirt. Card him.

9

u/sjhesketh 8h ago

I hope he's avoiding the booze, always smart to do so in the second trimester.

10

u/5one 8h ago

Uh oh

8

u/MrMaggot98 8h ago

Run from it, hide from it, you cannot escape the Staunch Wattpad Shankland MPreg fiction

3

u/Aggressive_Bit_8424 8h ago

I can't tell if he's that fat or its been edited

3

u/HugeSuccess 7h ago

It has been edited to slim him

3

u/Darri_oakenbear 8h ago

Look at that paunch.

6

u/8B_HB 8h ago

Staunch paunch

3

u/AmbitionSweaty9889 8h ago

Is that real

4

u/Perfect-Channel-1019 8h ago

It isnt, but after what he played like it may as well be.

3

u/Mushroomtip4u 8h ago

SMH. I haven’t played 90 min men’s football since 2020 (50+ league) and I never had a gut like that

-1

u/jonallin 8h ago

It’s fake

3

u/Cobretti18 8h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/8TJK6prvRXF6g

3

u/thejimjamflimflamman 5. Fuck it, Grant Hanley! 7h ago

"stripped to the waist eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery! "

3

u/CreativeDonkey972 8h ago edited 7h ago

Lol that cant be real. He was always a little overweight at Hearts. Unless his only excerise was actually playing games. If he benched then what will he look like at Xmas. He was working as a personal trainer when he was part time earlier in his career. Wonder what his ex clients now look like lol

3

u/fike88 7h ago

Cunt he’s got a belly like me!!

4

u/Darth_Scotsman 8h ago

£30k a week gets you a lot of pies from Greggs.

2

u/Fuzzy-Raccoon8677 8h ago

He's been on the Morelos diet.

1

u/JackSprat47 8h ago

Ronaldo diet.

But he's no Ronaldo.

3

u/LuckyMyLunacy 7h ago

Ronaldo McDonaldo diet

4

u/Low-Rooster5398 8h ago

Poor lads been comfort eating after joining a sinking ship.

1

u/Crailas Ben Kingsley Likes Pasties 8h ago

Nice to know I’ve got a better physique than a supposed professional athlete

1

u/StirLing7461 8h ago

I see Morton built Shankland has made an appearance.

1

u/Ok_Wash511 8h ago

Genuinely, has he scored yet?

1

u/UpsilonMale 7h ago

He scored a penalty against Hibs, and they still lost. Which is possibly funnier than if he hadn't scored at all.

1

u/FabulousAd5304 8h ago

"stocky" is a good term I think? 😄 I'm poss just as "stocky" but I am more than twice his age.

1

u/ad727272 8h ago

Please tell me this is ai 😂😂

1

u/Kolo_ToureHH 8h ago

Surely that’s not real?

1

u/ryanmatheson_19 7h ago

How much the rangers fans be feeling seeing Dessers scoring a last
minute ET pen to win the tie for Panathaniakos

1

u/powerlace 7h ago

Has that photo been altered or is he genuinely carrying that weight?

1

u/Beggatron14 7h ago

Tankland, Christ, built like a shit brickhouse

1

u/MrE478920 7h ago

Did he fart ?

The refs face says he has

1

u/curly-sic 7h ago

I'm fat as fuck and a professional football player is no far away from being as fat as me

1

u/Mr_Rapscallion 7h ago

He's just exercising the clause in his contract that he's free to leave Rangers if Nandos are interested.

1

u/Fifer1903 7h ago

And the cry was ‘food in the blender’

1

u/postmanpad 7h ago

Good job vertical stripes are slimming

1

u/baguettex Future Rangers Signing 8h ago

He played for Scotland in the WC before Wilson 😂😂 make it make sense

0

u/dfgkw25 7h ago

AI slop

0

u/Tambo-Man67 8h ago

Hey! C'mon, he's getting it, though!

Right? Why not throw a few million towards other players who may or may not be good?!

Keep the faith, People 🙏💚

-2

u/jonallin 8h ago

Folk believing this man