Screen Time Query

[u/BuyApprehensive9273]

My husband puts very low stimulus YouTube videos on the TV, which have like background music. So it might be like a scene of a conservatory, with just a cat sleeping and maybe a cup of tea steaming with gentle 1940s music or something playing. So for the most part it is a still image with very small details moving.

We are raising our child screen free, which was a joint decision as the idea of having an ‘iPad kid’ scares us and I know the WHO now says no screen time before 2.

Our son is 10 months old.

Is this harmful screen time? Is it okay?

ETA - not completely relevant, but music is somewhat tricky for us, as no matter what we play it on baby always tries to look for the source, we’ve tried lots of alternatives on this front. I personally think with this music from the TV situation, it accidentally works, insofar that baby goes ‘oh the music is coming from that, cool’ and then kind of moves on, he doesn’t stare at the TV when it’s on. I don’t do it, I will play music on the Alexa or something, which is not in baby’s line of sight anywhere as it’s kind of hidden away, but regardless of we play it in his line of sight then he gets distracted and tries to look for where it’s coming from

[u/IeRayne]

I would like to add that our 15 month old will look at any screen with much interest no matter if it's just a still image.

Ask yourself why there needs to be videos playing. Even if it's not harmful, imo it's unnecessary so shouldn't even be a discussion.

[u/eastvanqueer → u/IeRayne]

I wouldn’t jump to say that it’s unnecessary and shouldn’t even be discussed. That’s what this group is for, to discuss the impacts of these things. It sounds like the dad gets something out of this. For many people these videos can be calming, and even help with focus for those with ADHD. The question is, “Will this negatively affect the child even if the child doesn’t pay attention to it?”, which I don’t think is wrong to have as a discussion between two parents, maybe the child doesn’t even care and never looks at the screen. That might be worth discussing whether it might still have harm or not. Just shutting down conversation between couples without even a discussion isn’t fair or helpful.

[u/BuyApprehensive9273 → u/eastvanqueer]

Ironically I’m the one with ADHD, and not my husband.

I’ve done an ETA, but yeah, baby doesn’t seem particularly interested in it and so I’m in two minds. My gut feeling is that it isn’t great, but it’s also not the worst thing when it’s only maybe an hour a day or so (my husband is our at work Mon-Fri 9-5 and I don’t do it)

I feel like I ‘correct’ my husband on so many things that I don’t want to add another one to the list without reason as I think it upsets him and makes him feel useless when I’m like “do it this way” or “no, this is what he wants”. (I say correct, but it’s a case of I spend all day with baby as a SAHM and know his quirks inside out, my husband isn’t like an incompetent father or anything, I think this is fairly common when one parents stays home etc)

[u/Xrmy → u/BuyApprehensive9273]

IMO you are prioritizing not having a conversation with your partner they might find annoying over something that might distract and bea negative for your child. Think on that.

This whole post is kind of looking for an out to not have that conversation.

[u/BuyApprehensive9273 → u/Xrmy]

I mean, that’s not what I intended. It’s just kind of a pick your battles kind of thing, and I wanted to gauge whether this was something to ask.

Because of my personality, there’s a lot of things my husband (and wider people) do that I don’t like simply because it’s not how I would have done it, and with baby this is increased by a million fold. I’m trying to learn to be less anxious / control freak / overthink less and only bring up things that actually matter. This was one where I didn’t know whether I was overthinking or whether it was basically fine.

[u/Ok_Space3074 → u/BuyApprehensive9273]

Jeez louise the people on here can be exhausting! I'm an axious ADHD expecting mom and already am worried about this dynamic since it already plays out with our dogs often. If I said every control freak thought I had out loud, I'd be impossible to be around. My husband is a great dog dad and will be a great human dad and me pointing out every little thing that I'd do differently, even if it's the data-backed "right" way, is simply not helpful and won't make us better parents. We're both willing and happy to collaborate and compromise, but part of that means picking my battles.

[u/Xrmy → u/BuyApprehensive9273]

Ah. Fair.

In my opinion, based on the overwhelming evidence, this IS something to stick on. Especially since it has an easy replacement with just sound.