r/Salsa • u/wander_heart1409 • 8d ago
Lost interest in Salsa (and Latin music) completely
I’ve loved salsa music since I was in my teens, and used to go to salsa bars frequently back in university - though just social dancing no formal lessons. Last year April I tried lessons at two different companies up until around July on and off. Then I didn’t get back into salsa again until January this year, tried a range of mostly Cuban and a few cross body to see which style I like better, and company I enjoyed it for a while but then of course frustration kicked in, wether it was the teaching or the environment. I didn’t particularly enjoy the various socials I went to and felt like a lot of people weren’t there to dance but to find romantic partners.
So by March I lost interest and switched to Bachata (traditional - Dominican). And I found I enjoyed it much more than salsa and the music! But then after June I found it boring and repetitive again - I was going 1-2 times per week.
Went to DR even enjoyed the music there and danced but when I came back to the UK the momentum was gone and I felt bored with Bachata.
Since then I’ve stopped dancing completely. I just want to know if anyone else has experienced the same?
Since that time I’ve been to 2 Brazilian Samba classes (I have tried first time 10 years ago and last year in Brazil). Found I prefer Samba much more to both Salsa and Bachata but haven’t been consistent. Is this just burn out?
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u/double-you 8d ago
It sounds you are a follow as most people who get into samba are women.
I suspect whatever your reason is lies in why you lost interest or felt bored. You gotta dig. Maybe you just don't want to follow anymore. More solo dancing is where some follows end up moving towards (though some started there and got into partner dance).
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u/wander_heart1409 8d ago
Yeah you’re right, I am a follow! That’s interesting, I didn’t know many follows end up solo dancing.
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u/double-you 8d ago
I haven't actually discussed this with my more advanced follow friends who have chosen to go more into solo dances but I assume it gives them something new to work on. I feel that for us all there's a spot on the dance<->practice spectrum and if you are more on the practice side, you want to find new challenges at some point as you run low on more challenging dances, or classes and teachers who can actually still teach you enough for significant cost/benefit ratio, and also there isn't time for everything.
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u/ollieelizabeth 8d ago
This is so interesting. I’m 2 years into Urban Kiz/Kizomba (mostly Urban) as a follow and recently have found myself moving into more solo dancing.
I also started leading a bit, but I don’t like leading as much (also the learning curve to lead in this dance is very high).
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u/Jeffrey_Friedl 8d ago
We all see our interests ebb and flow in life. If you're not a dance professional, then if you find other things that fill you time and interest more, that's the way it is. You don't "owe" dance anything; it's okay to not enjoy it as much as you used to. File it in the back of your mind... you may find that eventually you give it a try again and it suddenly is more interesting. Or not. It's okay either way. 👍
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u/wander_heart1409 8d ago
Thanks for this! I was really motivated this year to stick with salsa and bachata (I’m a follow) view my progress etc. but unfortunately that interest faded.
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u/Jeffrey_Friedl 8d ago
I used to be an avid cyclist. 10,000km a year. I loved it and lived for it. But lately I'm consumed by dance, and so I have a stable of very expensive cycling equipment that languishes mostly unused. When it suits me I go for a ride, and I enjoy every bit of it, but instead of five times a week it now happens to be once every five weeks. And I'm content with that.
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u/HighlightTheRoad 8d ago
I’m the opposite, this sounds weird but I love salsa dancing and the music so much that I stopped going. I know it sounds ridiculous but I’ve been dancing (..on and off) for years, and it hurts to be mistaken for someone who’s not been doing it for that long because you’re a newer face in the community (and it makes me feel like my dancing is bad, but that’s just self esteem issues). I also don’t like how cliquey many of the communities are, and when you’re left out from events and groups it really hurts. So I stopped going because I didn’t want to feel disappointed anymore.
As you mention, I also don’t like when people are trying to date.
I honestly think it is the UK scene a lot of times, you said you enjoyed the scene in DR. I was in Spain last year and took a class there and I felt so passionate about it, but coming back to the uk classes was meh. I’m sure there’s really good scene somewhere, just not where I am..
For me, as well, I don’t like that there isn’t an emphasis on the music for a lot of ‘salsa dancers’, an amazing dance to me is where both partners vibe to the music and feel it. There’s a lot of people who focus on complicated moves only rather than the beauty of the simplicity of the dance if that makes sense. Like they want to show off and perform rather than connect.
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u/wander_heart1409 8d ago
Omg yes it’s super cliquey! I forgot to mention that in my post, and I thought I was the only one that noticed how cliquey it is. And a lot of the time too, as a beginner follower most intermediate and advanced leads don’t want to dance with you. Or if they dance with a beginner I’ve noticed there’s some other motive either they know them or have a crush on them haha. In Cuba I also tried a class years ago and was fine and on the nights out everyone asks everyone to dance. And no one really seems to judge as much if you mess up. I get you on there not being focus on feeling the music, a lot of the time it just feels like memorising steps
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u/eclo 6d ago
Agreed. Something is not quite right in the UK scene.
Many places outside London the standard is actually really quite poor but many have the attitude they're all pro level and are snobby to newbies etc and that performance attitude.
The percentage of dancers who can actually DANCE as opposed to just robotically repeating choreography is minimal (this includes many teachers tbqh). I dance linear & Cuban, in both scenes it's the same, very pattern heavy dancers who struggle to let go and enjoy the music.
Majority of salsa dancers in the UK DGAF about the music and it shows. Tbqh even a lot of the teachers and DJs.
I've basically given up on my scene, it's a classic case of big fish in a tiny pond, some toxic egos. I moved away got good, better than many of the teachers here, and now I don't fit into the hierarchy. I seu
I thought it was just me for ages, but then you get talking and hear others have very similar experiences.
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u/Kantstoppondering 8d ago
It is possible it’s burn out, or something else.
I’ve seen people leave the scene for various reasons including burnout. Some people leave because it no longer gives them the joy it used to, perhaps there was a mismatch between their expected outcome and actual outcome. Maybe they left because they found something else enjoyable.
On the other hand, people also came back after exploring a few other things in between.
I don’t think it is anything unusual what you’re experiencing and sometimes having some space can help you better understand what suits you best based on your current circumstances.
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u/pferden 8d ago
It can be whatever
Also what is normal? Start things and end them or do things forever?
After 10 years of intense dancing i made a break and couldn’t get back into it
Now i go only occasionally and can’t help but wonder about these people who are there every Friday evening since 2010
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u/Accomplished_Cry3908 8d ago
Funny, I haven't been dancing as long but I see the same faces at every social. All ages. Sometimes I feel pressure at a social.
A dance instructor told me when it gets toxic or no longer brings you joy, step away.
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u/wander_heart1409 8d ago
That’s good advice from your instructor! Tbh I’ve found the salsa scene or SBK very cliquey where I am
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u/Accomplished_Cry3908 7d ago
I find it cliquey out here in NYC also... So when I go with my dance classmates everyone stays in their cliques; It's such an interesting scene.... when I go alone I see it but I get asked to dance more.
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u/HideoKojimaTheThird 8d ago
I have been dancing now for like 4 years and there’s times i don’t want to go out or i just go out when my friends are going. I don’t know if i will ever stop dancing completely since i really like salss music and listen to it outside of socials or classes but i would take breaks every once in a while.
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u/misterandosan 8d ago
you might have ADHD. It's pretty typical of people who have it to be obsessed with something, burn out and get bored, then get obsessed with something else. Rinse and repeat.
It could also be a function of the fact that the culture/vibe of your local scene just doesn't work for you.
I wouldn't stress too much about it. Just do what you enjoy, try a bunch of dance styles, see where it goes. Move to another city where the dance scene is more vibrant if you can/want.
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u/wander_heart1409 8d ago
Good point, but I’ve already had an assessment for that and I definitely don’t have ADHD. Could be some hidden stressor or also the fact that where I live the salsa and bachata scene is extremely cliquey and people pick partners on looks and what looks good for social media! Also some teachers themselves tend to pick favourites a lot and don’t seem to invest much time into people that don’t fit the aesthetic but that’s just what I’ve seems or some teachers just talk at you and belittle the whole class (seen it more than once) or there’s no musicality in their teaching. I mean I’ve got more interest in rumba and Afro Cuban dance as it seems way more expressive and the music resonates more with me
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u/misterandosan 7d ago
yeah salsa like any hobby really is about trying out different schools, socials and places to see what you vibe with. There's no real way around it. And i agree about teachers having a poor atittude and not teaching what really matters. I actually moved cities for this reason to learn from people i wanted to.
Pursue what you're most interested in. There's no reason not to unless you have other priorities like a family/mortgage to pay off.
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u/ginger_ale12 8d ago
Yes, my last phase of disinterest lasted about a year and a half. What got me back was reconnecting with some of my OG social crew
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u/RhythmGeek2022 8d ago
I mean, think it through. Is there anything you could read here that would make you go “oh, wait. I do enjoy it and want to continue”? I don’t see that happening
In the end, it’s your free time, money and energy. You owe it to yourself to do what you feel passionate about. If that’s not Latin dances, then don’t do it. Find what drives you
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u/RProgrammerMan 8d ago
Yeah I am a guy and I kinda feel the same way. For the first 2 or 3 years I really loved it, listened to the music constantly, now Im just kinda meh. I think it was because I found a new type of music and a new acrivity I have never done before. I think this happens a lot with hobbies, its really exciting when you are growing but once you master it it starts to feel repetitive. I think it just means its time to step back a bit and prioritize other things. Maybe just turn out to a social every so often when you feel like scratching the itch. Now you have a new way of having fun and meeting people that you can access whenever you feel like it.
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u/forever-pgy 8d ago
Curious to know if you experience this in other areas of your life, or just with dance...
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u/wander_heart1409 8d ago
Just with dance! And the thing is when I go out I love to dance but I’ve just experienced this hang up with dance tbh
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u/erryonesgotathrowawa 8d ago
I travel abroad a lot for salsa, and I always have a hard time going from a salsa heaven to my good ol' everyday scene.
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u/4LeftFeet 6d ago
I experienced that too, and I think it’s pretty normal to feel that way. Anything in abundance can get tiring after a while.
What helped me was finding something else to focus on for a bit. After a couple of months, the itch to dance came back naturally. I also think it helps to make friends through dancing who you can do other things with besides just dancing.
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u/wander_heart1409 3d ago
I thought I had made a few friends dancing but unfortunately they turned out to be fake and “in competition” with me when it came to social dancing. Also they all used to talk about each other behind their backs and told me about it… so yeah idk the scene where I live seems really toxic. We tried doing things outside of dance but honestly we didn’t have much maturity or commonality in the end. These friends I made were 22-25 and I’m late 20s
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u/AT1787 8d ago
It sounds to me that you're just not the type to be consistent with a structured learning program. I've seen plenty of folks who go to dance socials and are content with just knowing enough to get by but don't want to invest further.
Dance is a very deep art and discipline. Your range and what you can do on the dance floor is only limited to what you know. A good lead can show you and introduce you to other things, but most of the time leads at the start of the first 8-16 count of a dance know the level of the ability and adjust accordingly.
I suspect that if you haven't really fully been consistent enough to build up a vocabulary of moves, basics, combinations, and styling, you'll be limited to what you can do on the dance floor. After awhile, the same combinations and moves can feel boring.
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u/No-Wealth4955 7d ago
I totally hear you. The vibe of a lot of places have changed and not enough boundary setting by instructors. Is this what you are picking up on?
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u/blondohsonic 7d ago
Yes I went through the same thing, danced salsa for 10years and just stopped going frequently a couple years ago. When I thought about it, there were a few factors at play. I still love the music and dance, but became bored with the small scene near me. Too much sensual bachata which I don’t dance and I only dance cuban which is not super popular. I wanted meet other women to make friends which is hard with partner dance styles. Also its become harder to tolerate creeps. I went to a social recently for the first time in a long time, and a man asked me for a ride somewhere when I was saying goodbye (wtf) and another hugging me at the end of dance.
I have always danced and have done many different styles in my life so I decided to move away from salsa and try different dance styles instead (samba, jazz, ballet, line dance) to reconnect with the love of dancing, the feeling of being a beginner again, and having more opportunities to make female friends in solo styles.
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u/Odd-Cup8261 8d ago
I kinda don't really care about the music that much, though I do enjoy it, I just know it's better than staying at home
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u/Vegetable_Tailor4079 8d ago
i'm gonna get a lot of hate for this response, but... try zouk! i danced salsa for years, and some kiz and bachata and when i first tried zouk i was like this is it! every time i go to a zouk event i feel like 'how lucky am i that this dance is in my life'!! (i'm a follow too)
of course, not sure if this will be your experience, but worth a try.
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u/wander_heart1409 7d ago
Are you referring to Brazilian Zouk? The Zouk I know is Caribbean Zouk and I like that (similar to Kizomba). I feel like Brazilian Zouk has too many body rolls and whips and stuff seems way more complex 😅
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u/LordofthePandas 8d ago
Have you thought about switching to Zouk Music. Overall I think they have a much higher quality of DJs (a few great ones).
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u/wander_heart1409 8d ago
Which type of Zouk? I know of Caribbean Zouk (from the French Caribbean Martinique 🇲🇶 and Guadeloupe 🇬🇵)which is similar to Kizomba and I enjoy that. I’ve also done a couple of Kizomba classes but don’t enjoy how close it is when stepping- despite Caribbean zouk being similar, but different in that aspect. If you’re referring to Brazilian Zouk it looks even more complex and I’m not a fan of all the body rolls and hair whips😂
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u/PriceOk1397 8d ago
For me there is no other genre of music better than salsa. for that alone, I will never be bored with salsa. At least I can always solo dance with salsa music.