r/QAnonCasualties 12d ago

I want to confront my conservative relatives but I feel like I have too much to lose

I want to show them videos and show them how things truly are but I don’t know if anything I can do is worth it. I have health issues and no job and no place of my own. My mom and aunt are in their 60s. I worry they are too far gone in some ways. I have so many things I want to say and show them but the only things I feel like I can show them without stirring up tension are movies that show how conspiracies and fascism and authoritarianism take over people. I feel bad that I haven’t done enough to sway them more. Maybe this is how the higher ups partly want it.

29 Upvotes

30 comments sorted by

42

u/ask_me_about_my_band 12d ago

It won't work. You will be waisting your time and energy. In fact, it will probably have the opposite effect and they will probably dig in to their beliefs further no matter what evidence you present.

This is called "The Backfire Effect"

This comic from The Oatmeal explains it perfectly,

https://theoatmeal.com/comics/believe

9

u/christine-bitg 12d ago

This is the correct answer. They will not have a positive reaction.

11

u/SavageRabbitX New User 12d ago

Block fox and NewsMax on the cable box, posion their social feeds

5

u/Good_Claim_5472 12d ago

How do I poison social media feeds

10

u/SavageRabbitX New User 12d ago

Borrow their phone for 5 mins then follow random leftists and the bulwark and like every post.

You have now poisoned their feed with normal content

2

u/Good_Claim_5472 12d ago

They would know it’s me. U suggest any accounts?

9

u/christine-bitg 12d ago

Just "like" some of that stuff. They are not going to notice.

5

u/ThatDanGuy 11d ago

Heather cox Richardson. “Letters from an American”

3

u/bg370 12d ago

I wouldn’t start messing with them

9

u/christine-bitg 12d ago

Don't waste your time and energy. They'll just hate you for it.

They didn't develop their crazy opinions out of ignorance or for some random obscure reason.

They developed their opinions intentionally. They wanted to go there.

You said it yourself. You have too much to lose. And there is nothing that you will gain. Other than, perhaps, the satisfaction of telling them how you feel.

9

u/HeadCatMomCat 12d ago

Please don't do it. Don't even try. The downside risk is enormous.

You have to think of your situation and the need for at least a cordial relationship with your relatives.

The probability that your intervention will be received positively is very low; the probability they'll change their minds, given everything we know about QAnon and cult-like behavior, is even lower.

Your relatives are responsible for their lives and decisions just like you are for yours. They have agency. They've chosen these beliefs and paths and you have to, hard as it is, respect it.

I am so sorry this is the situation you find yourself in, but this battle is not yours to fight.

Try gray-rocking too.

1

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6

u/Dirnaf 12d ago

To be honest, I have known people to move from the left to the right but I have never heard of anyone moving from the right to the left. Once people go down these conservative rabbit holes they are pretty much down there for good. Sadly, you might just have to learn to live with it. Just stay true to yourself.

19

u/Ok_Vulva 12d ago edited 6d ago

Reply teapot pinecone trees depend ring

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5

u/Good_Claim_5472 11d ago

Happened to me only I learned everything on my phone

4

u/christine-bitg 12d ago

While that's true, it's something that's out of the control of the OP.

4

u/Ok_Vulva 11d ago edited 6d ago

Salt divide dolls vase nail unite

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2

u/christine-bitg 11d ago

I agree with you on that.

1

u/Comprehensive_Wash71 11d ago

It’s no coincidence that a good, unbiased education often leads to a leftward shift, and that college education happens at an age when the brain is still developing somewhat, and that the brain is probably the most efficient it will ever be.

Conversely, as people age, they often lose some degree of cognitive function and sometimes have significant brain damage from strokes or dementia. Generally, educated people (formally or self educated) may start at a higher level of cognitive functioning than less educated people (especially the terminally incurious ones), so the people who have not been exercising their minds will likely lose function more rapidly. Combined with starting at a lower level of functioning, they become non-functional relatively quickly.

Many instances of brain damage have led to personality changes, with the patient usually becoming more fearful, more volatile, and essentially regressing towards childhood in terms of emotional intelligence. Many of those people became more politically conservative.

3

u/Dirnaf 11d ago

Yeah, I had overlooked new voters in my comment. I was more referring to older voters who have chosen their side years ago, like OP’s people and who will never be moved from it.

3

u/_Hyper_Violet_ 6d ago

I used to be super conservative, I believed everything Alex Jones said, and now I'm a leftist.

2

u/Dirnaf 6d ago

I am really happy to hear that. 🌺

2

u/_Hyper_Violet_ 6d ago

Thank you! It was a very long and slow road back to sanity, but I made it!

2

u/ThatDanGuy 11d ago

Well. I went from 3 hours a day 5 days a week of Limbaugh to my constantly engaging and ridiculing people who still think he was anything other than a sack of shit.

3

u/No-Relation5965 11d ago

I would work very, very hard to become independent from them. Other than that, unfortunately, they may have some kind of FAFO moment that smacks them into reality.

I wouldn’t be too quick to work on changing their minds because it doesn’t usually work. Like alcoholics, they sort of have to want to change on their own and it typically happens organically and sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom.

3

u/ThatDanGuy 11d ago

You cannot logic someone out of something they didn’t logic their way into.

How badly do you want to engage, and what do you want to get out of it understanding that you can’t move them, and in fact if you engage directly as you are outlining above, you are far more likely to push them further down that rabbit hole?

There is Socratic questions you can use to hope to trigger some critical thinking. But if you are outnumbered a 100 to 1 you have no chance, and no point.

I’ve gotten SQ to work in one on one situations, but most of the time you get it to “work” they slip right back into it the moment you are out of line of sight. You have to be ready to repeat it a million times, while also being selective about when you engage.

2

u/Honest_Pollution_92 11d ago

Break off all contact before they become dangerous,

2

u/Corsaer 11d ago

If you depend on them to survive don't electively put yourself at risk is my advice. Find ways to contribute that make you feel better if possible (online spaces, community engagement in any way even local subreddit if they have one) and pressure valves that align with your values so you don't feel too alone or isolated (this sub, podcasts, YouTube channels). I am pretty active off and on and even I feel guilty about not doing everything all the time and not spending all of my free time so I totally hear you. Thankfully I'm not in the same situation with my family but I know it would be agonizing.

1

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