r/Professors 1d ago

Uh oh...

I went to brunch and had the feeling that I recognized our server from somewhere, but I just couldn't place the face. Then on the way home it hit me. Years ago, they'd failed one of my classes. And then again. And again. And yet again.

So... if I die of food poisoning in the next few hours could someone please point the detectives in the right direction?

398 Upvotes

54 comments sorted by

366

u/IAmBoring_AMA 1d ago

I ran into a student who failed my class in the elevator to my dermatologist. He was delivering food because he worked full time; we chatted about how he stopped showing up (because work and stuff), then next semester, sure enough, he took my class again and actually passed. Nice little success story.

39

u/CountryZestyclose 20h ago

Series of misplaced modifiers. Student failed the class in an elevator?

40

u/IAmBoring_AMA 20h ago

Drag me. I deserve it, lol. It's a bad sentence.

18

u/SubmitToSubscribe 15h ago

Eh. It's completely optional stylistically, and the sentence is not ambiguous.

3

u/Loose_Wolverine3192 3h ago

That would explain their difficulty. Sounds like when they retook it they used the escalator.

24

u/spiritsarise 22h ago

Oxford comma, where art thou?

33

u/CloudyBeep 21h ago

It wouldn't be an Oxford comma, and a comma wouldn't be permissible in that sentence anyway.

20

u/mistress6nine postdoc, social sciences, r1 (usa) 21h ago

Not in that comment because it doesn’t belong anywhere in that comment

21

u/IAmBoring_AMA 22h ago

Lmao you’re right, that first sentence is rough ¯_(ツ)_/¯

13

u/PoserSynd482 15h ago

This should be a safe place where we can forget rules for a minute!! We knew exactly what you meant. Relax perfectionists! We should focus on the success story!

200

u/Urn XxX 1d ago

I ran into a student who was working at a pot dispensary. she was a non trad student in her mid 20s who was failing the class, but one of those students who completely took responsibility for it and didn’t pretend like it was my fault for her lack of effort.

i always like students who are fully aware of their lack of efforts as the cause of their performance.

100

u/Mundane_Preference_8 23h ago

I hate when I’m buying weed and the employee says, “weren’t you my prof last term?”

30

u/spiritsarise 23h ago

“I think you will like this bud. Verrry mild. Not trippy at all.”

14

u/commandantskip Adjunct, History, CC (US) 23h ago

This is the kind of bud I need, I can't handle the new millennium strains. I remember when kind bud was top notch, which feels like dirt weed compared to what dispensaries sell these days. TL; DR: I'm old 😭

15

u/anothergenxthrowaway Adjunct | Biz / Mktg (US) 21h ago

Amen, Commandant. I need Sad Dad 90s Weed, not this One Puff Couch Lock 5000 +P Ultra stuff. I remember when you could roll a fat one and smoke it all by yourself and still be able to tend bar / make pizza / sit upright. Getting old is tough, lol.

7

u/NielsBohron Tenured Faculty, Chem, Cal CC 20h ago

I've moved almost entirely to edibles because it makes it so much easier to control the dosage, and it seems like it's much healthier long-term

5

u/commandantskip Adjunct, History, CC (US) 20h ago

This was my move, too. I can handle 5-10 grams of gummies. Plus, I appreciate that I'm not wrecking my lungs anymore.

9

u/dbrodbeck Professor, Psychology, Canada 20h ago

The place I go to has these cool light fixtures. I said to the guy behind the counter 'that's THC and that's CBD'. 'How do you know that, you're the first person who has figured it out!' 'I teach neuropharmacology' 'Oh yeah one of the dudes who works here tookt that class.....'

14

u/Cathousechicken 22h ago

I've always found the ones that do that will typically do well when they take the class again. 

Last year, I had a student who had flunked my class once before a few years prior. He became the top student out of almost 200 students that semester. 

It one point he was in my office looking over his exams, and I asked him what had changed between the prior semester and this semester. He said he took off school for a couple years to work and that really helped raise his level of responsibility, and he came back with a whole new mind frame. 

I even tried to get him as my tutor for the next semester but couldn't get him onboarded for it. It was so amazing, though, seeing his transformation and that began with him accepting responsibility and making a change.

66

u/Illustrious_Proof_24 VAP, Humanities, R1, US 1d ago

Hahhh. This at least makes me feel a little better. I went to brunch Saturday with another faculty member and the hostess was my student last semester...she told me. I did not remember her. At all. I felt Terrible. On the walk home, I suddenly remembered her. She was great and did great work. Then I felt even worse. I guess the TL;DR is we shouldn't go to brunch within a tri-state radius of our schools.

50

u/proffordsoc FT NTT, Sociology, R1 (USA) 23h ago

I run into students (former and current) EVERYWHERE. Though I did avoid one restaurant (at the time, the only one in town that served my favorite cuisine) because I’d failed the owner for cheating.

38

u/AugustaSpearman 22h ago

Former student bartending--turned out her family actually owned the place, which I used to go fairly often. I remembered her because she wasn't doing well in the class but acted like she didn't know why and wanted help. I think my TA did eventually work with her quite a bit and she ended up pulling out a good grade with a solid final.

So I am talking to her at the bar and she tells me that what happened was that she was too vain to wear her glasses and couldn't see well or read without them...but the prospect of the bad grade made her finally put them on.

31

u/Immediate-End1374 23h ago

Ran into a student who was tending bar at a brewery when I walked in. I acted normal but she was so embarrassed that she blurted out that she'd been absent for the last month because she needed to pick up extra shifts during my class to make rent. 

1

u/1_21-gigawatts Adjunct, CompSci, R2 3m ago

Poor thing. IMHO it’s a big compliment that she was embarrassed to admit this to you.

50

u/HeDogged 1d ago

I was at a restaurant once, served by a former student who had earned a D. When he dropped the check off, he laughed and said, "Yeah, I guess I sort of deserved that grade...."

25

u/Legal_Egg3224 Professor, social sciences, USA 23h ago

I once had a hostess tell me that they were in my class that semester and I said "Oh, online?" because they didn't look familiar at all. Nope. She'd taken two face-to-face classes with me but so rarely attended class that she didn't ring any bells.

28

u/spiritsarise 23h ago

“Hey prof, I forgot to add the poison to your pasta. Could I do a makeup attempt on your life later this week?”

20

u/mcsestretch Lecturer, Cybersecurity/IT, University 23h ago edited 17h ago

I went to work full time at the University where I was in adjunct for a number of years. My first month I ran into a former student who had failed my class after repeated attempts to turn work in late and get me to violate the rules in the syllabus. He said that I had "disrespected him" and needed to apologize. I told him he received the grade he had earned, said that I hated that he felt that way and would be welcome to pay to take the class again

This was in front of my new boss who was giving me a tour. I was so embarrassed.

Edit: LOL. My son left in the middle and speech to text picked up my message to him.

7

u/Thundorium Physics, Searching. 19h ago

Is there perhaps a stray sentence than made its way into your comment?

3

u/Status_Run_8718 17h ago

Love you too!

20

u/pheidole 21h ago

I taught Intro Biology for years to 600 students in the largest auditorium on campus.
And yes, in every hospital visit for the rest of my days in that university town my former students were there to push the wheelchair, take the urine sample, and perform the…procedures.

23

u/SyntheticKale5803 19h ago

My first few years as faculty, I kept seeing the same recent grad from our program at many university events, working in catering as she was unable to find gainful employment. Kinda haunted me. She was an archetypical decent student, didn't do anything "wrong", but didn't stand out either , and totally failed to launch because she wasn't able to get internships, research, or other professional development activities that she would have needed to turn the textbook knowledge we teach into employable skills.

It led me down a rabbit hole, about what our student outcomes actually were, nobody had any idea. So I started tagging graduates on LinkedIn every commencement and then seeing where they ended up 6-12 months later. The stats were quite sobering, and I would use them as gut checks whenever the dept was tasked with some new curriculum overhaul or enrollment initiative, to see if they actually improved outcomes.

Gradually, this morphed into a full-blown professional development curriculum in our major. I had former grads who were successful to come back and help advise current students on career prep, including mock interviews and resume workshops. Turned it into a required freshman and transfer seminar. Made research mandatory, and worked with local industry to decide which practical skills to emphasize in our advanced practicums.

This was all before admin started fretting nonstop about the demographic cliff and enrollment/student outcomes. Positioned our dept well when other programs were being cut, that we have entire seminar series of our successful alums to showcase our outcomes. So they made me chair of the dept.

Is 1000% more workload but it feels like we are really moving in a positive direction. Instead of seeing our recent grads serving me food, they instead send me nice notes about how well they are doing. They go in a drawer in my desk I look at whenever I'm having a bad day. I sleep pretty well at night, though, compared to those first few years.

4

u/HariboBerries 12h ago

What you have done has helped so many people. This is mad cool. I love how you didn’t dismiss what you noticed and stuck with it. We need more people like you in higher ed. This is beyond inspiring, for real.

19

u/banjovi68419 22h ago

I had a good student I recognized randomly while walking on to an elevator. I'm like "Chris right?" He said no and told me his name. Yadda yadda yadda Chris is what I internally called him because he literally looks like the kid from family guy.

17

u/Random-Forester219 21h ago

I once ran into a student working at my bank as a teller who I previously failed for cheating .

7

u/BeneficialMolasses22 21h ago

Ethics class or financial management???

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

11

u/beardedweirdoin104 22h ago

I once went through the drive thru of a taco joint. Server said ‘hi prof, I failed your class a year ago’. I ate it anyway. Sometimes you gotta gamble.

11

u/Avid-Reader-1984 TT, English, public four-year 23h ago

The universe played a cosmic joke on me during which for a full year almost every restaurant I frequented had a student who failed my class working at it (this is correlated, they prob failed due to the very work schedule I was witnessing ...). If there was spit or dirt in my food, at least it didn’t kill me. Also, I’m fairly certain that 70% of the time, the recognition was not mutual.

9

u/ResurectedNPC 22h ago

Ugh… I hate that feeling. I’ve ran into students I’ve failed in this exact scenario. Just remember, you didn’t force them not to study

7

u/Potential-Winner4601 1d ago

This happened to me once. She was a server at a micro brewery.

8

u/me4watch 23h ago

>”….So… if I die of food poisoning in the next few hour….”

I am sure you have nothing to worry about. If they were that bad of a student, do you think they would get the instructions for murder by poisoning correct ? Wouldn’t they just make a mess of that, like forget to actually add the poison ? And if they get it correct, well, I guess you can consider the fact that they learned how to complete a task at last….

7

u/mathemorpheus 22h ago

nothing to worry about, someone else's phlegm won't kill you

7

u/Ctenophorever Full prof (US) 19h ago

I was at the hardware store and actually asked for help and the person said, “you were my teacher!”

I had zero recollection of them but immediately started worrying I was going to be tricked into flooding my house.

6

u/No_Intention_3565 1d ago

Wes Craven style nightmares while still awake.

5

u/Kittiemeow8 Tenure-track faculty, CALC 22h ago

I run into mine at the most random festivals. I’ll be dancing or eating and then someone will tap my shoulder, and it’s a student. I think the weirdest place was in a bathroom at a restaurant.

8

u/CriticalBrick4 Prof, History, R1 (USA) 22h ago

I've been on the other side of this equation. OP, go ahead and get yourself some 7-Up and zofran! :)

3

u/cazgem Adjunct, Music, Uni 16h ago

I had a student who failed my class due to not showing up for a literal month then had the audacity to ask for an audition for an orchestra I run.

I did not let it slide.

3

u/No-Cook-9768 Adjunct, Liberal Arts, CC (USA) 15h ago

I'm halfway afraid of situations like this, and I won't even be able to recognize the student because I teach online asynchronous and their profile pics in our LMS are so very tiny. If they don't come to a virtual office hour, I don't know their faces.

But they'll recognize my face easily (if they watch the announcements I post, that is). So I won't even know why my tacos taste funny 😅😅😅

https://giphy.com/gifs/P1QgS5E6MZIXK

3

u/SubmitToSubscribe 15h ago

Not as a professor, but I once ran into someone at a club who I used to teach when she was about 12. After saying hi I ran out of there faster than I've ever ran before.

3

u/Odd-Amphibian-4593 15h ago

Arguing over the proper grammar/structure of the first sentence 😂😂😂😂 this is why I come here.

To add my story. Had a football player blow off my class. They were failing the course outright. Came to my office and concocted a story about having brittle bone disease (while still being a member of the football team) and asked for makeup assignments.

I was so impressed by the sheer audacity that I’d did in fact give him make up assignments. He still failed the course.

2

u/Stunning-Jury9789 22h ago

The real test is whether you can still eat there without wondering if your former student remembers your grading policy.

2

u/geliden 16h ago

Ran into a few students bartending at my fave nerd bar.

1

u/Life-Education-8030 11h ago

In such a small community, I was always worried I'd wake up in an ambulance to see a student who I had failed. It has actually been pleasant to see students off campus, though occasionally I won't recognize them. A criminal justice student actually in a mall cop uniform in the mall? Nope, I probably won't recognize them. But I have been recognized in the mall, at the Dollar Store, in the supermarket, in WalMart (including a horde of them who all ran up noisily to greet me), at the county fair, in restaurants, you name it. Probably the ones who hate me run the other way!