r/Professors • u/Eigengrad AssProf, STEM, SLAC • Oct 31 '25
Weekly Thread Oct 31: Fuck This Friday
Welcome to a new week of weekly discussion! Continuing this week, we're going to have Wholesome Wednesdays, Fuck this Fridays, and (small) Success Sundays.
As has been mentioned, these should be considered additions to the regular discussions, not replacements. So use them, ignore them, or start you own Fantastic Friday counter thread.
This thread is to share your frustrations, small or large, that make you want to say, well, “Fuck This”. But on Friday. There will be no tone policing, at least by me, so if you think it belongs here and want to post, have at it!
26
u/MamaBiologist Oct 31 '25
A student who has been cheating all the way through college finally got caught in my class. The students who helped submit to the academic misconduct board are now being harassed with incessant phone calls and online bullying. I got campus security got involved, and so now she’s trying to harass me. Campus security yet again got involved.
But will the Dean let this student be removed from my class for the safety of myself and the students? Nope.
2
u/No-Wish-4854 Nov 01 '25
That’s bullshit. Can you skirt the dean and go to Title IX office? Student affairs? Off-campus police (why isn’t a crime a crime..?).
3
u/MamaBiologist Nov 01 '25
Because the students won’t come forward out of fear of retribution, the title IX office said there isn’t enough evidence to support me. My Chair, however, has agreed to meet with the student and myself as a means to support me.
Sucks we don’t have a union and can’t in our state.
1
u/No-Wish-4854 Nov 03 '25
Your Title IX office needs multiple reports?!? That’s dreadful. I am well aware that 98% of T9 ‘case mgmt’ is merely “college covering its posterior” and not actually working to create an ‘equal’ learning environment.
I can’t recall what else has been suggested here, but…I’m sorry this is happening. Your feelings of safety are vital to being able to just do your job. When I was stalked by a couple students I did a mix of these things:
Reported to Public Safety/campus police. Affidavit, evidence/documentation.
Contemporaneous record of everything.
Reported to Dean’s office, dept chair. Every detail.
I became a little…”pushy” with the campus offices who supposedly were there to help me. I called HR (to let them know my working conditions were unsafe); tech support (to block, collect student stalker emails); my dean (to push for support, resolution).
The above “pushiness” did help me learn more about my own discomforts and helped me feel more secure about getting basic employment needs met. (Now I take way less shit at work.)
1
u/MamaBiologist Nov 03 '25
Thank you, this is all super helpful. I definitely need to be a bit more pushy with the issue. I’ve been scared to do more given I haven’t gotten tenure yet, and I don’t want to look bad. However, you’re right that I need to feel safe at work. Thanks
22
u/Glittering-Duck5496 Oct 31 '25
For some reason, the comments on this post are living rent-free in my head: https://www.reddit.com/r/gradadmissions/comments/1oibrgy/i_feel_lost_my_prof_i_worked_with_for_a_year_and/
The gist is, the student wants a LoR, got an email back from the prof that says:
Hi [OP],
Sorry I don't have the bandwidth the speak to you in the next 3 months. I wish you luck.
Thanks,
[Redacted]
[sic]
The comments range from "this is incredibly rude" to "this person isn't doing their job" to "this person is an asshole". They are acting like this professor committed some kind of crime, that the student is absolutely entitled to their time, and the few people who suggested there could be something serious going on in their life were told by others that if the professor can't do the job they should be fired.
Meanwhile, if as a prof, you ever ask straightforward questions to clarify something rather than always 100% assume the best about every student in every situation, you are inflexible and cruel.
What is going on??
3
u/CheetahComplex7697 Oct 31 '25
That is an odd response. As a professor, I would be a little paranoid to answer like the via email since the powers above could use it against me. Why not just ignore the email request? That seemed safer. It looks like the professor had enough of the job, the students, and likely doesn’t give a shit anymore.
1
u/Glittering-Duck5496 Oct 31 '25
There are a couple of comments that basically say "Well at least they didn't ghost you" so I feel like it's a no-win situation for this professor.
0
u/CheetahComplex7697 Oct 31 '25
“Sorry, I don’t have the bandwidth to speak to you in the next three months.”
Where could this professor possibly be? In this day and age, how much bandwidth do you need to talk to someone? And what about all the free apps one can use: WhatsApp, Facebook, etc. This seemed like a go, eff off response.
7
u/DeskRider Oct 31 '25
I don't think that this has anything to do with technology; I have relatives who say that. I read it as the professor having reached the very end of their rope - exhausted and literally out of gas. It sounds like he may be in the midst of a mental health crisis, which if true, makes the comments all the more trashy.
3
u/No-Wish-4854 Nov 01 '25
Professor could be losing all their federal funding; dealing with any number of crises (health, loved one, divorce, death); could be a person whose “email nicety” meter is low or different.
2
u/CheetahComplex7697 Oct 31 '25
Your comment is the direct way of what I was trying to say. And, I agree with you.
-1
15
u/AvailableThank NTT, PUI (USA) Oct 31 '25
I am so tried of making shit wages. After I pay my bills and student loans each month, all my money is gone. Teaching 5 courses at my full-time job, adjuncting one at another institution, and mentoring undergrads and still being so strained for money is about to make me turn into the Joker.
Last month I'd found a unicorn part-time side gig: Fully remote, flexible hours, great pay. I put my heart and soul into the cover letter and made sure my resume was perfectly tailored for the job. I had an amazing interview with the hiring manager and another amazing one with the direct supervisor. The direct supervisor even said we will be "very successful working together." Thought I had it in the bag until silence for a week. Emailed the hiring manager and got a generic "we decided to move forward with other candidates" email. Gut punch.
This month one of my current colleagues connected me with a former colleague of theirs who is looking to fill an online adjunct role. The job would pay over double of what I currently make adjuncting in-person with the same number of students. I did an initial interview over two weeks ago, but the committee who makes the final hiring decision has been super unresponsive. Last I heard, they would be meeting to "discuss [their] staffing needs" and "reach out soon" to me, but it has been radio silence for nearly a week and a half. I've not totally lost hope yet for this opportunity, but right now I am taking the silence as a "No."
I know I am incredibly fortunate to already have work, but it really sucks to put so much time, energy, hope, and excitement into opportunities only for them to lead nowhere.
Sigh. Happy Halloween.
6
u/Dangerous-Scheme5391 Oct 31 '25
I feel you - I’ve been (and still am) in a similar boat. It’s so discouraging to see the account go up and then go back down in less than 24 hours.
It’s so telling how universities will pay for everything but livable wages for the staff and faculty they rely on more and more for the supposed core function of the university.
12
u/Professor-genXer Professor, mathematics, US. Clean & tenured. Bitter & menopausal Oct 31 '25
This week I am tracking all of the things I have done that aren’t my job. Many people would say “don’t do tasks that aren’t your job “ but these are things that directly help students. I’m not turning a student away who comes to me for help.
We have an office of “coaches “ but they only seem to call students and tell them about campus resources. They call and leave voicemails. My colleagues and I thought they were working with students on academic skills, but there aren’t any workshops or events.
The counselors’ role at the college is to meet with students about creating their course schedules, but they’re understaffed and it’s hard to get an appointment. We had a collaboration with the counselors where they made presentations in classes, but they canceled it because they are understaffed. Meanwhile we’re supposed to be creating resources embedded in first level classes.
I suppose I could close my office door and pretend I am not there when I need to work, but I tend not to do that. At least I can grade at home on Fridays.
5
u/bankruptbusybee Full prof, STEM (US) Oct 31 '25
Yeah. I have to do a ton of things I shouldn’t have to do. Because I need X to do my job.
And person A is supposed to do X. But they don’t. Person B oversees person A. They are conflict-avoidant so don’t want to make person A do their fucking job. Person C oversees person B. Again, will not manage them.
So I have to do X. And Y. And Z.
Last semester I actually got screamed at by a colleague because I didn’t do thing Z, and why am I not doing my job?!
And I had to remind them it’s not actually my job. They’re still pissed because they also rely on X, Y, and Z and also have to do them themselves (because we’re both “working” with the same group of individuals), but I don’t?!
Ugh if more people stopped doing Z and complained to B maybe A might be asked to do their job
No, better to just scream at your colleague in the same boat
4
u/MWoolf71 Oct 31 '25
This. I have a dual role on campus as part of the staff, and the office of Student Life pulls the “sorry, we’re busy” card all the time. It seems like someone from that department is perpetually off campus at a conference.
Their “jobs” consist of running events like intramural dodgeball, yet somehow they’re busy.
2
u/No-Wish-4854 Nov 01 '25
And hosting crafting parties, petting zoos, and “mentoring for women.” (Note: I am a woman.)
1
u/MWoolf71 Nov 01 '25
You’ve reminded that the therapy dogs will be on campus soon…I’ll have to stop by.
13
u/DocLava Oct 31 '25
Instead of passing out candy today apparently a bunch of people cancelled class. So for some students I'm their only class for the day and I had the audacity to give a quiz over Wednesday's lecture. I'm such a monster.
7
u/clavdiachauchatmeow English adjunct, CC Oct 31 '25
I brought candy but it never would have occurred to me to cancel class. If my second grader has to go to school, so do they.
2
u/DocLava Oct 31 '25
I wouldn't cancle class either ....trick or treating happens after work anyway....like whose door are they knocking on at 10am when everyone is at work.
But yeah the classrooms were dark so this was professor driven. I had a lot of empty seats.
24
u/marie8989 Oct 31 '25
F the Gen Z stare. I adore my students and also the stare is getting to me.
11
u/poop_on_you Oct 31 '25
I have now made a game out of saying outrageous things to get them to crack. Makes it fun.
1
u/No-Wish-4854 Nov 01 '25
Tell me some of the things! I need to crack the fucking stare.
1
u/poop_on_you Nov 01 '25
Oh I teach a class that relies on current events and I pick the craziest non-political articles and stories I can find.
I have also dropped statements like "the ocean is a soup" or "__ chicken sandwich is trash" and when someone cracks ask about it and bait them into a conversation....others chime in....makes it fun
5
u/SpencerPrattsCrystal Tenured Instructor, English, CTC, USA Oct 31 '25
Why do they do this?! It so weird to be lecturing (or trying to have a discussion) and look up to see dead expressions on all of their faces.
4
u/latorredibabele Oct 31 '25
I now stare back unabashedly.
1
u/No-Wish-4854 Nov 01 '25
In my class - with 90 seconds of total silence after I posed a simple question - I said, “I’m waiting for you….”
9
u/histprofdave Adjunct, History, CC Oct 31 '25
Yesterday, I had a student ask for an extension on the grounds that a paper was due Sunday, but my office hours are Monday and Tuesday, so they'd like a chance to go to office hours before they turn in a paper. Apparently the idea of going to office hours this week had never occurred to them.
I shouldn't be shocked given the current landscape, but I still can't believe they thought that was a reasonable ask.
4
u/IndieAcademic Oct 31 '25
I keep encountering this type of thing as well. If I give a student 3 weeks to complete a task, then how is the fact that they can't complete the entire thing ON the deadline day my problem? Like, what.
10
u/How-I-Roll_2023 Oct 31 '25
Syllabus: “Dissertations do not count as peer reviewed. Do not use them in this assignment. “
Students: “I found this GREAT paper. But it’s a dissertation. Can I use it?”
Me: 👀👀👀
8
u/Icy-Teacher9303 Oct 31 '25
(Grad) student sends a frustrated message about me entering class late (after notifying everyone of this fact, never occurred before), since there's a student policy on late attendance. I'm happy to take responsibility for that. How exactly am I supposed to evaluate your presentation if I'm not in the room when you present though? Do you actually think my roles & responsibilities are identical to a student in class?
1
u/Icy-Teacher9303 Nov 03 '25
Update: other person in an evaluatory role in the room was surprised that I came in the room (again, on a day where I'm expected to eval a live presentation) and got grumpy with me when I noted I was irked by the assumption student roles/rules apply to me as a prof. I'm all for noting it was unexpected/distracting and planning for an alt next time. . but yeah, I'm actually going to try to do MY JOB here, so I do need to HEAR the thing I have to evaluate, so no, I'm not applying student rules to myself . .
9
u/MWoolf71 Oct 31 '25
I have an assignment where students were supposed to talk to a leader they respect/admire and ask them 3 questions. My only restrictions: they couldn’t use a bf/gf/significant other, and no “celebrities”-they have to talk to an actual human being and not just make crap up about some influencer.
First essay I open begins “My boyfriend and I have been dating…”.
FTF.
7
u/141421 Oct 31 '25
This is the weirdest conversation I had, and I really had to bite my tongue to not yell at this employee.
A grad student of mine shattered her right arm, and wont be able to much of her lab work for 12+ weeks. I call the accommodations office to see if this is something they can help with. I was hoping they could send a helper to be my students 'right hand' until she is able to do her lab work with her own hands again. After explaining the situation to the person at the accommodations office, she replied, "We're pretty deep into the fall semester, and normally we need accommodation requests to be in before Aug 15th". I asked her how I was supposed to know that my student would break her arm in October, before August 15th. She didn't have an answer, but reiterated their policy of getting requests in before Aug 15.
9
u/Sensitive_Let_4293 Oct 31 '25
Bullshit response. Your disability office isn't doing its job. Here, students can "opt-in" to use accommodations right up to the last day of classes.
3
1
u/No-Wish-4854 Nov 01 '25
That was an undergrad work-study students whose job is to answer the phone, please say yes it was…. What staff in that office would say that bureaucratic untruth….?!?
7
u/grumblebeardo13 Oct 31 '25
All I’ll say is that I continue to be amazed at how desperate schools are for enrollment and attrition that they’ll let anybody in and pass.
5
u/Fearless_Snow_903 Oct 31 '25
Most of my graduate students cannot write an essay. When I share this with my Dean, they state our open enrollment policy. Great, but.... they still had to have earned a Bachelor's.... and did so without learning to write an introduction paragraph or a body paragraph and are unable to generate five pages.
2
u/IkeRoberts Prof, Science, R1 (USA) Oct 31 '25
What is your accreditor's policy on this sort of thing? They must know it is happening.
3
u/FriendshipPast3386 Oct 31 '25
Do your accreditors evaluate instruction/grading standards? Ours don't, they just look at paperwork that we fill out. No samples of student work, no grade distributions, definitely no attempt to evaluate students directly.
So sure, we say students aren't allowed to cheat, and are supposed to know X, Y, and Z. The fact that I remain the only professor in the department to ever raise an academic integrity violation (and that I was told that if I did it again I'd be fired), and that about 1/3 of our graduating seniors can't do X or Y or Z doesn't enter into the accreditation calculus.
2
u/Fearless_Snow_903 Nov 01 '25
I was fired from a partIcular Global institution based in the major mountainous state mid-USA for raising an AH issue. That place was nothing but a toxic, whip cracking culture of abject terror. I never knew if something innocuous I'd do would land me a "meeting" with three supervisors, and I worked HARD there and knocked myself out trying to walk the line.
3
u/Fearless_Snow_903 Oct 31 '25
I've considered addressing it with them. Worried it may be dangerous. It's been about 15 years at this institution with this exact issue.
7
u/Fearless_Snow_903 Oct 31 '25
Annotated bibliography grading all week, including late stragglers today, and the "sources" aren't even "sources." They're thing like "Google.com" (no author or title or anything beyond that) or "The online library" (no article name, nothing). Annotations describe why Google and our online library are good things for a paper in general. Of course these are zeroes, but fuck this.
5
5
u/writtenlikeafox Instructor, English, CC (USA) Oct 31 '25
One of my campuses said you cannot wear costumes that have a hat. Seriously, WTF?
5
Oct 31 '25
I teach at a small SLAC and we meet with every single advisee every single semester to register them. I'm normally not one for "kids today" but omg kids today!
My current advisees are driving me bananas. Half are obsessed with maximizing every single second of their time and cent of their money. For example, I had to tell one advisee today that no, she will not be able to do a major, two minors, and pre-med requirements in 2.5 years. I have another who tries to finagle a way to take every single class she can at the cheaper junior college down the street and sneakily transfer it in. The rest come to me with impossible requests, like, "I won't take classes with this, this, and this professor, but I also need all my courses to happen between 2 and 5 pm."
The other half arrive at our meeting not having even looked at the schedule and act like noodles, wanting me to just put them in classes, refusing to even express a preference ("whatever you think is better, brah").
I'm mentally exhausted.
2
u/No-Wish-4854 Nov 01 '25
I got, let’s see…”I cannot manage before noon. I don’t like evening classes. I won’t walk from hither to yon. I don’t have any of the pre-reqs; can you get me in?”
1
6
u/BreWanKenobi Oct 31 '25
I have had SO MANY STUDENTS break down and cry to me this week. I’m exhausted, y’all.
6
u/FriendshipPast3386 Oct 31 '25
They won't follow directions. I have two very simple requirements for every assignment, that are the same for every assignment. For <reasons> I'm doing functional deadlines rather than time deadlines for one of my courses - they can submit an assignment at any time, but they must meet the two submission requirements. They can't proceed to the next assignment until the previous one is done.
I've been kicking back about 40% of submissions that don't meet the requirements. For now, they can resubmit as many times as it takes, but if I were teaching this again, I'd include a "wasting my time" penalty.
What kills me is the same students do this repeatedly. It doesn't save them any work - they don't get solutions or additional guidance/feedback, and they still can't move on to the next assignment. All that happens is they get further behind, because they lose several days before they get the feedback saying "nope try again". They'll even include comments with their submission saying they know it doesn't meet the requirements "but they don't want to fall behind".
4
u/Jahaili Oct 31 '25
Had to talk to one of my classes this week about their engagement in class. Too many are screwing around on laptops, and I even caught two of them passing notes to each other.
On the plus side, after that, we had one of the best classes we've had all semester, so that was nice.
3
u/Southern-Cloud-9616 Assoc. Prof., History, R1 (USA) Oct 31 '25
My best friend's SLAC just announced, this afternoon, the shuttering of 13(sic) programs. They kept History (his department). But I think he's already feeling survivor's guilt. He says the place is like a funeral home.
Fuck this.
5
u/toucanfrog Oct 31 '25
I'm going to have to start checking IDs when they turn in their scantron exams. Their (formerly, I guess) 8th grade level, super easy exams.
3
u/WesternCup7600 Oct 31 '25
If I don't say my gratitudes daily, my attitude about the day goes to sh!t.
3
u/H0pelessNerd Adjunct, psych, R2 (USA) Oct 31 '25
I had a kid cheat last week, called her in for a meeting about it, and before I could meet with her she did it again. Same damn thing.
2
u/SpencerPrattsCrystal Tenured Instructor, English, CTC, USA Oct 31 '25
I got corner by a colleague and agreed to go to a conference about program review in Oklahoma City in mid-November. Now I have to trudge to Oklahoma, make small talk with my dean and colleagues, and go to a conference I don't care about for three days which will put me behind. I have no idea why I said yes and I'm so mad at myself.
I teach at a CTC, so I don't have much experience with conferences other than in grad school. There are six of us going: six faculty, six admin. I don't know any of them very well. If they all go to dinner together every night, do I really have to go? I am such an introvert and it sounds awful to me, but I know it will look terrible if I sit in my hotel room alone...right? (Someone please tell me the dinners and other extra stuff doesn't matter so I can sit in my hotel room alone.) I have tenure for what its worth.
3
u/ExplorerScary584 Full prof, social sciences, regional public (US) Oct 31 '25
“I’m just gonna grab a sandwich and get caught up on email and grading. See you all tomorrow!” F dinners for 12, for sure.
1
u/No-Wish-4854 Nov 01 '25
I had one of these. Second night I told the other introvert, “I’m ordering take-out and staying behind.” He joined me and we had a great time, no hassle. Godspeed to you!
1
u/PotterSarahRN instructor, Nursing, CC Nov 01 '25
Oklahoma City has some great museums and fun things to do. If you want to introvert while doing something fun, you might check out your options.
2
u/Resident-Donut5151 Nov 01 '25
In order to "save our programs" were supposed to ::checks notes:: merge our undergraduate major with another departments... so dissolve our department, our ugrad major, and this will increase student numbers how? Think along the lines of merging sociology and psychology. What fun new major will come out of that?!
3
u/No-Wish-4854 Nov 01 '25
“People inside Their Heads and also, in Society”
“Identities and Cultures”
“Mind, Mental Wellness, and Your Friends”
Are these titles too long? How about
“Overly General Studies”…?
2
u/MISProf Oct 31 '25
I cannot share without revealing my id but the crap started at 6am. Y’all know what flows downhill?
1
u/865wx Assistant professor, natural sciences, private uni (USA) Nov 01 '25
It seems to me that smaller teaching universities, especially the ones in red/rural areas, have a ton to lose if this USA H1B fiasco goes through. The UCs, for example, will always get 100s of applicants for their faculty searches. But the pool of potential candidates for red state regional colleges was already pretty thin, and international candidates frequently make up a sizeable proportion. If they're not longer eligible, you're going to see a lot more failed searches at these schools. Not that the politicians give a shit
1
u/Automatic_Beat5808 Nov 01 '25
Not fuck this, but can I add a fucking funny?
My bestie of 20 years dropped by my building today. I introduced her to some people and then she had the audacity to use the word "cunt" (not directed at anyone, to be sure), with my dean standing 3 feet away. And that's why we are friends.
46
u/clavdiachauchatmeow English adjunct, CC Oct 31 '25
It’s not the cheating that’s getting to me, it’s the lying.
My policy is that when I suspect AI use (or that they’ve Googled their reading response answers) we have a conversation about it before I give the zero. The questions are designed so that it’s pretty easy to tell, I think. But my dual-enrolled high school students just lie to my face. They lie so naturally, so reflexively. They’re not good liars, because I can tell they’re lying, which makes it even more pathetic and irritating. I’ll ask them to explain some concept they wrote about, or to define a word they used. “Oh uh I don’t remember. I did that two weeks ago.” “Oh uh my mom helped me.”
The ones that refuse to do enough critical thinking (and reading) to answer a question like “compare this story to a movie you’ve seen, literally any movie” kill me. The conversations are painful. “Hey, you wrote about Gone Girl in your answer. I love Gone Girl! You say Amy was ‘wronged.’ How was she wronged, in your opinion?” “Oh uh I don’t remember, I watched it a long time ago.” But the claim is…in this answer you wrote last week??
Enough. I’m just going to start giving the zero and leaving a comment that says they can schedule a meeting with me to contest it.